Meredith Carder: ADHD Masking Burnout & When Masking Can Help

In this short and powerful replay, ADHD coach, creator, and author Meredith Carder explains why masking happens, what ADHD masking symptoms look like, and how to make strategic choices about when to mask and when to unmask. Many people with ADHD mask their symptoms (at work, with friends, or in public) to fit in and avoid judgment. But masking comes at a cost, and for some, it can lead to ADHD masking burnout.

Meredith shares practical ADHD masking examples and her “low-reward masking” approach for reducing the energy drain of constant self-monitoring. We also talk about finding masking accommodations that help you function without burning out, and how community can ease ADHD friendship struggles, ADHD friendship issues, and help you build genuine ADHD friendship groups.

The conversation then shifts to ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria (also called ADHD rejection sensitivity disorder), including what’s happening in the brain during perceived rejection, why rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD women can feel especially intense, and how emotional regulation and ADHD are connected. Meredith shares tools for increasing rejection tolerance, the role of executive functioning in ADHD women, and how to apply these strategies in daily life.

If you’ve ever looked up an ADHD masking questionnaire, searched for ways to prevent burnout, or wondered how to deal with RSD in a relationship, this episode will give you practical insights and compassionate perspective.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The risks of constant masking and signs of ADHD masking burnout

• How to identify ADHD masking symptoms in yourself

• Real-life ADHD masking examples that can actually help

• Meredith’s “low-reward masking” approach to conserving energy

• How to find masking accommodations that support your needs

• Navigating ADHD friendship struggles, ADHD friendship issues, and building ADHD friendship groups

• Understanding ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria and ADHD rejection sensitivity disorder

• Why rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD women can feel different

  Tools for emotional regulation and ADHD

• The connection between executive functioning in ADHD women and rejection tolerance

• How to deal with RSD in a relationship and practical steps to reduce its impact

• Links & Resources

  • Follow Meredith Carder on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hummingbird_adhd/

• • Read Meredith’s book on adult ADHD: It All Makes Sense Now: Embrace your ADHD brain to live a creative and colorful life
  • Subscribe to Meredith's Substacks: Meredith Carder Substack and It All Makes Sense Now Substack
• • Take an ADHD masking questionnaire to explore your own masking patterns: https://www.bhcsmt.com/aamm

  Chapters:
  01:33 The dangers of masking
  03:35 How masking can be beneficial
  04:10 Meredith’s “low-reward masking” approach
  06:30 Finding masking accommodations
  07:35 ADHD friendship struggles and friendship groups
  09:06 Understanding ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria
  11:31 What’s happening in the brain during perceived rejection
  12:46 Emotional regulation and ADHD
  14:10 Executive functioning in ADHD women and cognitive inflexibility
  16:07 Why self-awareness matters for managing RSD
  18:33 How to deal with RSD in a relationship and improve rejection tolerance
  20:30 Lifestyle factors that increase emotional resilience