Sonnets of my Soul

Agaricnest

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Sonnets of my Soul Podcast

Poetry. I update whenever I feel like it.

03/10/2021

Sonnet VI: Cold Abandonment

Trauma haunts you for years. Written on: 9/6/21 A warm summer day, when you flew away My heart was in pain, but I said nothing But your leaving is now a price I pay Because of you, I am now suffering He was now gone, which I came to resent though he made sure to call us every night He was always fine, but never present Leaving me by myself to face my plight She was there, not in the way I needed Always busy, and always thought of her It was four times, broke down, cried and pleaded Those two years, a depressed and painful blur Ten, my heart to big to fit in a mold Now a teen, alone in my head and cold

1 min
07/09/2021

Poem III: Future Me?

I'll be fine. An old poem to keep my podcast from being stagnant. Originally written on 7/15/21. Transcript: I would like to ask you a question But I cannot fathom who you are Or what you’re doing What you can do Because I do not believe in your existence Because my thoughts cannot comprehend the mere notion that you could be here I cannot think of you And I don’t think I want to I could look for you everywhere But I wouldn’t find you, I wouldn’t find us Because I am you, and you’re inside my head Taunting me with the notion that you’re better than me I’m tired, and you’re not You’re happy, and I’m not And I kind of resent that fact you exist Because I feel like no matter what I do, I will never be able to reach you And yet, I do continue to wonder All the time What it would feel like to be you If I could change enough to be you If I could do enough to become you If I could do enough to become me But instead I will smother the thought of you in my brain Because while I hold the dreams of you close to my heart Thinking about how fragile the idea of you could become does not belong in my head So I will say goodbye to you, future me I hope you exist I pray you exist And may we meet again, when you are finally me

2 min
13/07/2021

Sonnet V: Vaccinated

Sorry about being gone for so long! I stopped writing to deal with my mental health! Written on: 7/12/21 Transcript: This sad, deadly pandemic a decade Almost a million of our own, now dead The virus has cleaved our hearts with its blade So much sadness, I do not trust my head The seeds of our own hate, sewn into cloth Damaging beautiful red, white, and blue In the first month, rioters doth Forget democracy, and think lies are true The needle in my left arm, I received To become immune to viral death But not immune to the hate, I am peeved Hatred against humans in every breath Our country, though cracked, is now on the mend Pain in the hearts of all, still yet to end

1 min
06/06/2021

Poem II: L’appel du vide

L’appel du vide is French for “The call of the void.” Written on 6/6/21 Transcript: It’s raining Pelting against my roof Softly I’m cold The lights are flickering Like my soul They’re dying I’ll be gone before long too They often tell you it’s a leap of faith That if you jump correctly You will reap the rewards But to jump, for me Is to disappear into the darkness As if I never existed at all To be swallowed by the great beast in my mind And to be swallowed by the looming edge You always wonder if it’s worth it before the end But the void in your head In your heart Calls you Beckons you to join it Become one with it And maybe As you become one with it Your mind may finally know a moment of peace.

1 min
27/05/2021

Poem I: Cavities

The pain of cavities is that you never realize they’ve worn through your teeth until you try to eat. Written on: 5/27/21 When you wake up You probably brushed your teeth So that they would stay healthy and clean Unlike the stains you left on my soul They’re white, bright as the moon, if you’d like You probably smile Knowing full well your mouth is clean enough to show to others But clearly not clean enough after the words you said to me You cleaned your teeth You got dressed Kissed your family goodbye And left And that brush of yours Prevents a multitude of things It prevents plaque And it muffles you, Prevents you from talking You can hear yourself try to speak through the white paste but you can’t Not because you don’t want to but because it’s impossible But you do it anyway because you don’t want holes in your teeth And yet you didn’t take the same care not to leave a hole in my chest

1 min
19/05/2021

Sonnet IV: Emergency Food

Paimon. Video where I got the idea from: God Paimon | Animation - YouTube Written On: 5/18/21 Transcript: I found you drowning in a shallow lake Lacking in the ability to swim You could die for a Crab, Ham & Veggie Bake Wanting to eat fills your days to the brim You have followed me everywhere I go Time together on missions long and broad And though your constellation brightly glows Are you connected with the unknown god? Your feet never end up touching the ground Your name belongs to the ninth king of hell But with it all, am I real the clown? If I really fell under your spell Even so, I hope the help you're giving Will truly help me find my lost sibling

1 min
10/05/2021

Sonnet III: Mother

Don’t forget to call and/or hug your mom! 3 Written on 5/9/21 Transcript: From the moment I opened my small eyes You were present, carrying my small form You accepted wholly, to my surprise Dealing with my antics, ever the norm When I started on my first day of school You were always there in support of me Like when I swam in our neighborhood pool Or at nine, when I tried to climb a tree I know last year has been really tough And I know we are all mentally tired And limbo has really called our bluff But I always am motherhood acquired I may be confused right now, that is true But never about my pure love for you

1 min
28/04/2021

Sonnet II: Bullets fly from the TV

A sonnet about the recent shootings of 2021 Written on 4/27/21 Transcript: Painful death flies from the guns of the blue As loud as crackers on the 4th of July Our vain system of justice, torn askew We die in the streets, and our children cry Bright lead pierces the hearts of innocent As we see the white glare from the bright screen Raising hands, and the giver of consent As bullets come, from shiny badges with mean The land of the free, and the land of death The man’s cold weapon, the gun in his hand As children breathe their final, solemn breath Who in the sad end, is free in this land? But alas, this is the truth we must face No matter who you are, or your said race

1 min
25/04/2021

Sonnet I: Atlas of the Void

A sonnet that I read aloud in my ELAR class. Based on a very destructive personal problem. This work was started on 4/10/21 and finished on 4/15/21 Transcript: Was everything you showed to me a ploy? but with every single call, I would heed in youth, every single day you destroy and continue to watch me as I bleed far into the dark, I would try to scream as I saw you, I would try to avoid I saw all of my small tears, they would stream and fall silently into the dark void I honestly feel a lot like Atlas never been able to hold my weight high But a shift in my core central axis May allow me to look at the bright sky Talking with others has helped me to cope And hopefully, I may have found hope?

1 min

9 Episodes

Poetry. I update whenever I feel like it.

Creator

Agaricnest
Years Active

2K
Episodes

9
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© Agaricnest
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Sonnets of my Soul