Solo Show - Chores and Allowance Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Solo show – last minute decision to wait on the conversation that I was going to air today….

Today I am going to talk about chores and allowance
There was a post from a mom in on of the Joyful Courage FB groups a few weeks ago reflecting on how it was time for her 11 and 5 year old to begin chores and allowance. The comments were a range of advice, with many parents speaking into separating chores from allowance. I promised the group that I would speak into this on the podcast.
Before I do though, I want to say that you get to take this information and make it your own, right? You get to decide what is best for YOUR family when it comes to chores and allowance. I also acknowledge that being able to give our children and allowance isn’t something that everyone can do. Please listen for the underlying spirit instead of listening thinking there is a “right” way to do this.
Also, I want you to notice if you are listening though the filter of “my kids won/t…” or “what happens if they don’t…” or you will miss the message.
There is a level of significance and mattering that shows up when our kids are expected to be in contribution. Trust that. Trust them.
So chores – contributions/family work

So much online for age appropriate chores

They are enthusiastic when young although it may be a challenge for us

Less enthusiastic when older which is also challenging


Have a plan, be explicit
Co-creating routines

Daily

Weekly

Family house cleaning party

Check in on how it’s working (family meeting)

Tweak as necessary

Inside the plan be explicit about what is a “completed job” and when it needs to be done by
Take time to train:

You do the task while child watches

You do the task together

Child does task while you watch

Child does the task independently

Fold this into the fabric of your family Don’t be rigid Ask for their ideas
Allowance – we don’t pay for chores…. Story about rowan and ian
“yeah but” – typically don’t need to threat or reward – and will be explicit “your jobs need to be done before you leave the house/jump on a screen/lunchtime/etc”
We don’t pay for chores.
We started giving the kids a small allowance when they were young so that they had money to learn to manage.

Save

Give

Spend

As they got older, their allowance increased and what we would pay for decreased

Time out in the world with friends

Haricuts

Cosmetics

Shoes (Ian is obsessed)


Resources:
Amy McCreedy on Joyful Courage Eps 62 – Teaching our Kids Money Sense The opposite of spoiled by Ron Lieber Montessori guide to age appropriate chores (handout online)
Build relationship. Build relationship. Build relationship.
Create an agreement around chores:
“I have a problem and I need your help”

There is a lot to do and you need ot help out

Brainstorm a list of things to do around the house

This week, pick one a day

Thank you for following through OR I noticed you haven’t followed through, please get that done

Tweak as necessary

You’ve got this friend! Let me now what you put into practice and any questions or feedback that you have.
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