Paths to Parenthub Podcast Becky Kearns

Choosing a donor can feel like a huge and momentous decision, with lots of emotions involved, information to consider, and steps to take as you move towards becoming a parent through donor conception. Hayley and Becky talk about their own personal experiences of selecting their donors, the smaller decisions that led them to go ahead with their decisions, and how they feel as they reflect on their choices now. They chat about what they wished they'd have known, and consider the different types of donor options and matching processes, as well as the transparency and support they'd like to see more widely as an industry.
Links mentioned in the episode are:

Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024 - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Paths to Parenthub Instagram page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub
Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp
Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum 

Early disclosure within donor-conceived families is thankfully now considered best practice, however, that doesn’t mean that the process of ‘telling’ is as easy as child’s play. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a closer look into the practicalities of discussing conception stories with our donor-conceived children, whilst also exploring some of the complex emotions that may arise for parents when attempting this process. Becky and Hayley provide some helpful examples of how they have tackled these discussions and share some of their favourites children’s story books, tips, and resources that have helped their families along the way.
 
Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:
 
Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024  - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/
Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com 
Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/ 
Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp 
Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub 
 
Book Titles mentioned within the episode:
 
What Makes A Baby https://wwwcorysilverberg.com/
 
Happy Together  https://www.happytogetherchildrensbook.com/
 
We Are Family https://www.wearefamilybooks.co.uk/
 
My Donor Story https://www.mydonorstory.com/
 
Our Story https://www.dcnetwork.org/our-bookshop/
 
Robo Babies https://www.owletpress.com/product-page/robo-babies
 
Secret Code Inside of Me https://www.rajanilarocca.com/picture-books/the-secret-code-inside-you/
 
Research article mentioned in episode Telling donor-conceived children about their conception: Evaluation of the use of the Donor Conception Network children’s books. Harper, J et al (2022) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405661821000150

Managing feelings and emotions around ‘Genetic Loss’ can be a challenge for many parents who have used a donor to build their family. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a deep dive into the complexities of the emotions surrounding genetic loss, how they can present themselves, and why it’s so important for us to validate and speak up about this often unspoken topic. 
During this episode Becky and Hayley discuss how Genetic Loss has personally impacted them, both as parents who do not share DNA with their children, and in Hayley’s case as a donor conceived person too. Both hosts offer reassurance, validation and practical advice about how to best tackle this nuanced topic - and also explore how an initial ‘loss’ has also brought about a significant ‘gain’ within their families. 

As always, we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through Instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:
www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:
www.instagram.com/definingmum
www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Family by Co Article 
Handling Resemblance Talk 
 https://www.cofertility.com/family-learn/navigating-comments-about-your-donor-conceived-childs-resemblance-a-guide-to-responding

In a recent social media post Becky talked about 'acceptance' being key as a recipient parent through donor conception, specifically around accepting that there is another person who holds a 'parent' title in the scientific, genetic sense, as opposed to the day-to-day parenting role. This sparked a discussion within the comments thread, which is why Hayley and Becky decided to record a spontaneous podcast to discuss this further, with more content and nuance that this topic needs.
In this episode you'll hear our own thoughts and opinions, how we approach terminology with our kids, the thoughts of the community who generously shared their insights with us, and research into terminology from a survey of donor conceived individuals.
As always we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.
Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:
Paths to Parenthub Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com
Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/
Hayley’s Instagram page:
www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp
Becky’s Instagram pages:
www.instagram.com/definingmum
www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Research Study by Donor Sibling Registry:
https://dsr-static-files.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/485cc3a945adcfb7

In this episode Hayley and Becky discuss some of the phrases that can be used by recipient parents in speaking to their children, specifically 'You are a gift' and 'You were so wanted'. We discuss how these phrases can sometimes be contentious in social media forums, the different perspectives that people may have, why we as parents might use these phrases, and how important context is when these are shared.
With Hayley's experience as a donor-conceived person and both Becky and Hayley's experiences as recipient parents, they explore the nuances, intentions, and potential impacts of using these terms in different scenarios.
Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:
Paths to Parenthub Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com
Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/
Hayley’s Instagram page:
www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp
Becky’s Instagram pages:
www.instagram.com/definingmum
www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

In this first episode of the new season of The Paths to Parenthub Podcast, Becky and Hayley discuss the complexities of social media within the context of donor conception. Specifically, posting as parents and (in Hayley’s case) a donor-conceived person too, they highlight the struggles and the triumphs that can come from being part of this growing online community.
During this episode, the pair also discuss what their current challenges are when it comes to navigating life as parents of donor-conceived children, as well as what their hopes and plans are for the podcast series as they enter into season 2 as co-hosts together.
Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:
Paths to Parenthub In-person event:
Leeds, UK 14th of October 2023 - ticket info
https://members.definingmum.com/event/
Paths to Parenthub Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:
https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/