The "So Now What?" Podcast Lana Manikowski

Welcome back to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast. I'm Lana Manikowski, and I'm thrilled you're joining me today. As we dive into the heart of summer here in the US, with July 4th Independence Day celebrations just around the corner, it feels fitting to talk about a different kind of independence—personal independence, especially for those of us navigating life after infertility.
Reclaiming Independence Post-Infertility
After enduring years of fertility treatments, the constant start and stop, and the endless cycle of uncertainty, finding independence can feel daunting. This week, I want to explore ways you can reclaim your sense of independence and make decisions that empower you.
Exciting New Resource Coming Soon!
I'm thrilled to announce a new resource designed specifically for women who have faced relentless questions about their motherhood status. This free resource will help you navigate those difficult conversations with confidence. If you're interested, reach out to me on Instagram at @lana.manikowski and send me a DM. I'll add you to the waitlist and ensure you get early access!
My Personal Journey to Independence
This week is particularly special for me as I transition out of Corporate America. After working since I was 14 and always relying on an employer's paycheck, I'm stepping into a new chapter. On July 8th, I'll be dedicating myself full-time to my coaching practice, leaving behind a successful corporate career.
Since 2021, alongside my demanding corporate job, I've been nurturing my life coaching practice. Completing my life coach and grief certifications has equipped me with the tools to support women like you and me—women who are unexpectedly childless and striving to find fulfillment.
Believing in Yourself
Often, we think we need someone else's approval or a perfect plan to pursue our dreams. But I'm here to challenge that belief. You have the power to make decisions for yourself and create the life you've dreamed of. Even without a clear roadmap, you can take steps towards your goals. 
Action Steps to Embrace Independence
 
1. Identify Your Dreams: Think about what you've been wanting to pursue—whether it's a new hobby, education, or career change.
2. Trust Your Instincts: Believe in your innate ability to make decisions and create change.
3. Start Small: Begin by writing down your ideas and evaluating them. You don't need external validation—your inner voice is powerful enough.
A New Chapter
As I close this chapter of my corporate life, I reflect on the purpose it provided during my infertility journey. My career gave me meaning and allowed me to thrive during a challenging time. Now, I'm proud to embrace this new independence and dedicate myself fully to helping women create lives they love.
Connect with Me
I hope this episode inspires you to embrace your independence. Remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning. 
Follow me on Instagram at @lana.manikowski or on YouTube at lana.manikowski and reach out if you want to be part of this journey.
 
Subscribe & Review
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps me reach more women who can benefit from these conversations.
Stay Tuned
Join me next week for more insights and encouragement on living a fulfilling life after infertility.
 

Feeling Like a Failure After IVF Fails
Introduction: Welcome back to another heartfelt episode of Thrive After Infertility. I'm Lana, and this week, we are rolling up our sleeves and diving deep into what it means to feel like a failure, especially after the challenging journey of IVF and fertility treatments. This episode is for all the incredible women out there who have struggled with these feelings and are ready to redefine their stories.
Key Points Covered:
Understanding the Fear of Failure:
The fear of failure often starts at a young age, influenced by family and cultural norms.
Many of us have been taught to hide our struggles and present a picture-perfect life.
Navigating Infertility and IVF:
Personal reflections on the pressure to do everything "right" during fertility treatments.
The emotional toll of feeling like you're not good enough as a fertility patient.
Changing the Narrative:
The impact of being labeled as a "failed" IVF patient and how that affects self-perception.
The empowering shift from viewing oneself as a failure to seeing IVF treatments as the ones that failed.
Personal Growth and Life Coaching:
How becoming a Certified Life Coach helped me change my perspective on failure.
The importance of deciding how to relate to the word "failure" and choosing a narrative that empowers you.
Introducing the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind:
Exciting news about the upcoming Thrive 2.0 program, designed to help women find fulfillment and thrive after infertility.
Details on how to join and the benefits of being part of this transformative community.
Special Announcement: I'm thrilled to announce a new resource for those of you on my mailing list, all about handling the things people say and how to respond to them in empowering ways. This unique resource is created especially for you, so be sure to follow me on social media and sign up to get access.
Closing Thoughts: Remember, you are not a failure. You are a beautiful, courageous soul who has shown immense strength and resilience. Let's redefine what it means to thrive and embrace a life full of meaning and fulfillment, even without the children we dreamed of.
Thank you for joining me this week. I love you all, and remember, it's never too late to discover your true meaning.
 

Episode Summary This week marks my 15th wedding anniversary, a significant milestone that feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago. Reflecting on our journey, I've decided to discuss marriage and relationships when you find yourself unexpectedly childless. In this episode, I'll uncover the top 10 misconceptions about childless marriages, shedding light on the unique challenges and bias we experience when we eave fertility treatments without a child.
 
 
Key Points Discussed Lack of Fulfillment
Debunking the myth that true happiness and purpose in a relationship only come from raising children.
Selfishness
Addressing the misconception that childless couples prioritize personal desires over responsibilities.
Incompleteness
Challenging the belief that a marriage is incomplete without children.
Loneliness in Old Age
Confronting fears about being lonely and unsupported in old age without children.
Lack of Family Bonding
Explaining how childless couples create their own meaningful traditions and bonds.
Temporary Decision
Discussing the notion that being childless is just a temporary phase.
Regret
Exploring the assumption that childless couples will inevitably regret their decision.
Marital Problems
Debunking the myth that childlessness indicates or causes marital issues.
Social Isolation
Addressing the belief that childless couples are socially isolated.
Biological or Medical Issues
Clarifying misconceptions about the reasons behind childlessness after infertility.
 
 
Thrive After Infertility Mastermind In my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, we focus on relationships, of of 3 crucial pillars in the program which is  often overlooked for those navigating life without children. Whether it's with your spouse, friends, family, or coworkers, Thrive offers support and tools to help you create a life you love without the children you thought you were going to have. I'm excited to announce the next launch of the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind in October, which includes advanced tools and support from my certification in grief coaching.
 
Conclusion
As Jack and I celebrate our 15th anniversary, we've learned that a fulfilling, meaningful marriage is possible even without the children we once envisioned. If you're feeling stuck or wondering about the future of your marriage, remember that there is no right or wrong path. Whether you stay together or part ways, it's essential to find what works best for you and your partner.
 

Hello, lovely listeners! I'm so glad you're joining me today. If you haven't already, I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel, Lana.Manikowski. Look for my profile picture with a yellow shirt—if you see me in a red shirt, that's an old channel I no longer update. Subscribe to stay connected and catch some funny outtakes that don't make it to the podcast.
Why Your Reviews Matter
Before we dive into today's topic, I want to thank everyone who rated and reviewed the podcast last week. Your $5 Starbucks gift card is on its way! If you haven't yet, please rate and review on your preferred platform. Your feedback not only helps me understand how the podcast impacts you, but it also boosts our visibility. This way, more women who are searching for ways to create a fulfilling life after infertility can find us and join our community.
Advanced Certification in Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth
Did you know I have an advanced certification in grief and post-traumatic growth? It's something I don't mention often, but it’s a significant part of my journey and my coaching. When I realized my infertility journey wouldn't end with a child, I felt immense grief. But society often overlooks the grief of those who lose a dream rather than something tangible. This certification helps me guide you through that nuanced grief and find post-traumatic growth.
The Power of "And"
Today's episode focuses on one of the most powerful words in navigating grief and creating a fulfilling life: "and." It's a simple three-letter word, but it opens up a world of emotional possibilities. Society often presents emotions as binary—either you're sad, or you're grateful. But why can't we be both? Why can't we be sad about not becoming mothers and also grateful for other aspects of our lives?
Breaking Free from False Binaries
I remember hearing that you can either be sad about not having children or grateful that you don't have to raise them in today’s world. But this binary thinking isn't helpful. You can be both. Grief is nuanced, and so are human emotions. It's perfectly okay to feel multiple emotions at once. For example, you can have a great day at work and cry when you receive a baby shower invitation. Both feelings are valid and can coexist.
Embracing All Emotions
Trying to force ourselves into constant gratitude or happiness suppresses other valid emotions like sadness or anger, which can resurface even stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel everything. Replace "but" with "and." You can be proud of yourself and feel anger. You can feel lost without motherhood and discover strengths you never knew you had.
Ditching Toxic Positivity
We often think we need to be grateful 24/7 to love our lives, but that’s not true. You don't have to be grateful for every difficult aspect of your infertility journey to love your life. Embrace the "and." Love your life and acknowledge the tough parts of your journey. Both can exist together.
Actionable Insight: Using "And" in Your Life
Next time you catch yourself thinking in binaries, try to use "and" instead. Notice how it opens up space for all your emotions and makes life feel more manageable and authentic.
Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear how you plan to incorporate "and" into your daily life. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or on social media. Let’s support each other in embracing our full emotional selves.
Thank you for listening, and remember, you are a beautiful human navigating this path of life. Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself.

Welcome back to another week of The “So Now What?” Podcast! I’m so grateful you're here with me. As we welcome June, it's the perfect time to reflect on the goals and dreams we set for ourselves at the start of the year. Maybe you’re reassessing some plans or realizing that some things didn’t pan out as easily as you hoped. Remember, it's never too late to recalibrate and adjust your path.
Episode Highlights: Reflect and Recalibrate: With nearly half the year behind us, it’s a great moment to reevaluate our goals. What were your intentions at the beginning of 2024? What’s working, and what’s not? It’s okay to pivot and refocus your energy on what truly matters to you.
The Power of Ratings and Reviews: I need your help! Your feedback is crucial for reaching more women navigating the unexpected journey of childlessness after infertility. Please rate and review The “So Now What?” Podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Send me a screenshot, and I’ll send you a $5 Starbucks gift card as a thank you.
Shame vs. Self-Love: This week, we discuss the harmful habit of shaming ourselves into action. Have you ever felt pressured to do something just to meet others' expectations? Let’s shift that narrative. It’s time to embrace self-love and motivation from a place of joy and curiosity.
Envision Your Future Self: Picture the person you want to become. What does she look like? What brings her joy? Write down these visions and start embodying those feelings today. You don’t have to wait until you’ve achieved all your goals to love yourself.
Compassionate Self-Talk: Engage in kind, supportive conversations with yourself. When you miss a goal, instead of judgment, offer understanding and encouragement, just as you would to a dear friend.
Takeaways for This Week: Reevaluate Your Goals: Take stock of what you planned for this year and see if it aligns with your current path. Don’t be afraid to weed out what no longer serves you.
Rate and Review the Podcast: Help us reach more women who need support by leaving a review. Your feedback can make a big difference.
Shift from Shame to Support: Recognize the areas where you might be shaming yourself and consciously replace that with positive reinforcement.
Love Your Future Self Today: Visualize the joyful, fulfilled person you aim to become and start living with that mindset now.
Engage in Positive Self-Talk: When challenges arise, treat yourself with the same compassion and encouragement you would offer a friend.
I want all women who are childless after infertility to know they can love themselves and create fulfilling lives. If you need more personalized support, I’m here to help. Let’s discover together how you can create a life you love.
Have a beautiful week, and remember, it’s never too late to discover your meaning. 
Connect with Me: Website: www.lanamanikowski.com
Instagram: @lana.manikowski
Email: hi@lanamanikowski.com
Don’t forget to share this episode with friends who might benefit from it. Your support helps us grow and reach more women who need this community. Thank you for being here!
 

Introduction:
Hello, beautiful souls! It's Lana Manikowski and I'm thrilled to share some major life updates and inspiring insights with you today. This episode is dedicated to all the incredible women who are not sure what to expect of your life childless after infertility and IVF. It's a journey filled with unexpected turns, but together, we can find joy and purpose beyond what we initially envisioned.
Big Announcement:
I have some exciting news to share—I recently resigned from my corporate job to fully dedicate myself to my coaching practice and advocacy work. This decision wasn't made lightly, but it felt necessary to truly serve our community and make a real difference. By leaving my job in early July, I plan to create more resources and support for women like us.
The Journey to This Decision:
For years, I balanced a demanding career while also trying to grow my coaching practice. However, after speaking with hundreds of women in our community, it became clear that there's a significant gap in post-treatment support for those who leave fertility treatments childless. Many of us feel abandoned and without direction once treatments end, which is why I’m determined to be part of the solution.
Why This Matters:
Living childless after infertility is not something we planned for. The lack of support and follow-up from fertility clinics only adds to the feeling of being lost. I've chosen to channel my energy into advocacy and support, creating a space where we can find our way together and redefine our lives with new expectations.
Previous Episode Shoutout:
Before diving deeper into today’s topic, if you haven’t yet, make sure to listen to Episode 126. It’s all about dealing with birthdays after infertility—a time that can often feel heavy when life hasn't turned out as planned. It’s a must-listen if you’re struggling to find joy in celebrating another year.
Main Discussion: Redefining Expectations:
Today, I want to talk about expectations—specifically, the expectations we set for ourselves. From childhood, we have ingrained expectations about our lives, but when faced with unexpected outcomes like living childless, it can feel like we’ve lost our North Star.
Here’s what we’ll explore:
Understanding Expectations: Reflecting on the expectations we had and how they change when life doesn’t go as planned.
Setting New Expectations: How to create meaningful and achievable expectations for ourselves in this new chapter.
Handling Conversations: Strategies for managing conversations about infertility and childlessness, and setting expectations for how we engage with others.
Future Goals: Envisioning and working towards a future that feels fulfilling and joyful, even if it looks different from what we once imagined.
Personal Insights:
I share my personal journey, from feeling like a deer in headlights after my treatments ended, to discovering that life can indeed be fulfilling without children. It's about having the expectation that things can get better, and believing that we deserve happiness and freedom.
Empowering Yourself:
You deserve more than just acceptance of your circumstances—you deserve to thrive. It’s about shifting from a mindset of limitations to one of possibilities. Let’s work together to set expectations that bring joy, purpose, and lightness to our lives.
Conclusion:
Thank you for joining me in this transformative journey. Remember, you are deserving of happiness and fulfillment, and together, we can navigate this unexpected path with grace and strength. Stay tuned for more resources, discussions, and support as we continue to build this incredible community.
Call to Action:
Listen to Episode 126 if you haven’t already.
Reflect on your current expectations and consider how they might be reshaped to better serve your journey.
Share your thoughts and experiences with me on social media or in our community forum.
Until next time, know that