Weight Loss Without Dieting Hayley Sohn

My name is Hayley Sohn, I am a nutritionist and brain training weight loss coach specializing in helping women lose 30lbs in 90 days without dieting by eliminating emotional and stress eating. Work with me: basicallyitmeals.com I have told this story many times here before, but I am breaking it down into a few lessons here on today’s podcast. Lessons i learned in 5 years of NOT losing weight Diets don’t work As a nutritionist, i was trained in prescribing diets. Knowing the exact macros, calorie counts, food lists that would equal weight loss When i was 30lbs overweight i was doing all the diets but I Felt more out of control than ever before Was eating more than ever before Thought about food all the time I realized it didn’t matter what “diet plan” i said i was going to follow…because my brain and my mindset were setting that diet plan up to fail and i didn’t know how to begin to fix it When i finally dropped all the restrictive diets and began to focus on my mindset in a productive way i saw the weight fall off You can eliminate emotional eating in a pain free way I remember thinking one day as I laid in bed eating cheetos feeling super stressed and out of control (hello, I’m working full time as a nutritionist and running a healthy meal delivery service, like what am I doing) that i didn’t want to give up food as my emotional support system The thought of that scared me One of my clients refers to all of her past dieting as “suffering” and a huge part of that is when food is your emotional support system and you sort of yank that out from under yourself with a restrictive diet you are left with no tools to handle your life, your stress, anxiety, without the food. Its scary, its feels like suffering So i really focussed on learning how to deal with stress without food, learning how to deal with boredom without food, learning how to deal with anxiety and not eat When i focussed there all of the sudden i could eat less without pain, without feeling like i didn’t have a way to deal with my life Emotions are important Almost everyone i speak to who wants to lose weight tells me this: I want to feel something other than what i am feeling daily right now Yet!! They also tell me they aren’t very emotional and they don’t understand where emotions come from I used to not consider myself an emotional person, but really i just didn’t understand emotions, how they work and their role in our lives Plus, one universal law: you have emotions whether you realize it or not, they are created by your thinking Emotions don’t happen to you, you create them. Even if you don’t think you are experiencing or creating emotions for yourself, you are When you can harness thinking, you can take control of your emotions and start to FEEL the way you want to feel everyday! Effortless Peaceful Confident Happy Actions don’t work Yes, ultimately actions will get us the result we want…if we eat less we will lose weight. BUT what we all try to do is decide the actions we will take and then take them even though we are feeling doubtful, overwhelmed, pressure, stress, anxiety… When you do it that way you have to use willpower: the actions don’t feel good when you take them and you can’t keep them up Your mindset is everything Mindset isn’t abstract; There is a clear process for creating a mindset that will help you lose weight When you focus on your mindset, this impossible weight loss game suddenly happens and it feels easy and natural You are not set in your ways, you can change your brain If you practiced your golf swing wrong from childhood to your 50’s would a golf instructor say oh im sorry, that is set in stone you won’t be able to change it? No because our brain is elastic, its always capable of learning something new and undoing something old Years ago scientists thought your brain was set in stone by age 18, then it was late 20s and recently I read that your brain is actually never set in stone What

Willpower vs Confidence I posted a picture in my stories of some food I was eating the other day and I got this message from an Instagram follower simply saying “willpower” And I replied “never! Confidence” And it got me thinking about the difference between these two when it comes to weight loss My name is Hayley Sohn, I am a nutritionist and brain training weight loss coach specializing in helping women lose 30lbs in 90 days without dieting by eliminating emotional and stress eating. Work with me: basicallyitmeals.com I used to use willpower. Every morning i would wake up and tell myself Today is the day i have enough willpower to not want to eat handfuls of cereal out of the box To not overeat dinner To not snack until i felt sick and it was time for bed I would make a ridiculous diet plan for myself And then 3pm would roll around I would be exhausted from the day Hungry from my diet and i didn’t know how to handle it I believed i had no control over my desire to eat other than just “trying not to eat” and i would tell myself that- i have to try not to eat all the crap But trying wasn’t enough Telling myself i wanted to but i can’t wasn’t enough Telling myself it was gross, it was bad, it just never was enough Ultimately i still wanted to eat all the time, i was still thinking about food all the time Willpower for weight loss This is our go to…why? Two big reasons Becasue its what we are told we need Because we lack belief in our ability to not want to eat something C T: I have to use every ounce of willpower i have to not want to eat this food, i can’t not want to eat, i want to eat it but i can’t F: willpower A: think about food all the time, tell yourself you wont eat it, make up diets excluding foods, skip social events R: you still want to eat the food The results of using willpower You still want to eat the food Sometimes you might not eat it, but ultimately you always feel like you want to If you dont eat it, if you drop weight, you ultimately cant keep it up You feel out of control You never feel like you are in control of your desire to eat or your weight You never learn to not desire food! Food will always be the only thing that can help you in the way it is helping you now Help you unwind, disconnect Help yuo destress Help you with anxiety Be the thing you love to have on the couch after your kids go to bed Be the thing you obsess over Essentially, you are always going to have the same relationship with food that you do now Confidence for weight loss When i realized there was an alternative to using willpower to lose weight i began to focus on building my confidence around food What this looks like C T: i want to feel confident around food, here are the areas where i already feel confident around food, this is a huge reason i believe i can feel confident around food, feeling confident around food is possible for me T: now its- you can put any food in front of me and i am in complete control of if i eat it or not, i don’t desire foods i don’t want to desire, i never overeat, i don’t eat if im not hungry F: confidence A: don’t overeat, don’t eat when not hungry, don’t think about food when im not about to eat, i easily listen to my body signals and eat only for that R: i can weigh what i want with ease, i know that how i feel about food and around food are within my control I now have a completely different relationship with food than i did before This picture of some tempting food that i previously would have had to use willpower to get through was not like that for me at all. I was enjoying time with my family, there happened to be food there. I wasn’t thinking about it, worrying, obsessing, counting, i was just there enjoying

Does losing weight have to be hard? My name is Hayley Sohn, I am a nutritionist and brain training weight loss coach specializing in helping women lose 30lbs in 90 days without dieting by eliminating emotional and stress eating. Work with me: basicallyitmeals.com Shout out to ashley! She lost a pound in a week This was sparked by a conversation i had with my parents about my postpartum weight loss, and so many conversations I have had with you about what the process of losing weight looks like. I was at the pool with my baby and my parents the other day and they were saying you lost the weight so quickly, you don’t look like you just had a baby. How did you do it? Was it hard? I said no, i didn’t work hard to do it. It got me thinking about the idea of working hard to lose weight vs working confidently So many of us think- I know i have to work hard if i want to lose weight… But what if weight loss just feels natural and relaxed? So that’s what we are going to dive into today When weight loss is hard work You think in order to lose weight it has to be hard, a punishment of sorts, that you are going to struggle because you are used to or want to overindulge right now. The idea that you have to give up things you enjoy to lose weight and go to the gym and do things you don’t enjoy to get there… I want to point out that being overweight, overeating all the time, using food to manage your emotions is hard! You are already in the hard, why not make losing the weight something you enjoy! That is a mindset. T: i have to work hard, I am going to struggle, its not going to be fun or easy, i will have to sweat and deprive myself F: struggle, doubt, overwhelm, willpower, deprivation A: gym, restrict, cut out foods you like, eat super clean R: what do you learn when something is hard? What is the result of weight loss is hard? You can’t maintain it The process isn’t fun You dont enjoy it, you don’t show your brain that eating less can enjoyable You are pulling in two opposite directions The pendulum My postpartum weight loss journey I want to preface this by saying that i used to lose weight with “hard” I worked out like crazy I was super restrictive or diet mentality I was also very judgemental of others at times None of it was fun and none of it was successful….i was always working! I never could just relax and live my life I focussed on slowing down and listening to my body, an opportunity to reconnect, i was excited to do it, i committed to not using food to help me deal with stress or other emotions, working out was not a part of it, there was no specific diet a part of it although i did make decisions ahead of time and stick to them It was fun, exciting, self love, confidence, calm No sweat, no tears, no punishment I practiced patience with my body and always said if it doens’t feel right or if it feels like too much I will back off….but the way i lose weight and the way i teach my clients to lose weight never feels that way. It feels like slowing down to listen to your body and eat for those natural signals and releasing all the thoughts taht don’t serve you to feel good physically in your body So what can you do at home to release the hard and embrace the calm? What would weight loss look life for you if you used calm instead of willpower? Plan ahead today…follow through on those decisions. Reach out to me…i will show you the path! www.basicallyitmeals.com

Hangry- how to handle it without eating everything My name is Hayley Sohn, I am a nutritionist and brain training weight loss coach specializing in helping women lose 30lbs in 90 days without dieting by eliminating emotional and stress eating. Work with me: basicallyitmeals.com Shout out to Ashley! She lost a pound in a week! Defined as Being irritable or angry due to hunger Is it a real thing? Low blood sugar My dad talking about playing 5hr of sports without food, very lean Nowhere in there was there anger… Angry is the result of a thought in you brain, by conscious or unconscious you do have control over it For most of us who have plenty of fuel on our bodies, two options Unbalance blood sugar- your body can’t tap into fat Hunger might come on without physical necessity It may feel strong Its your mindset around hungry You are feeling the physical sensation of hunger and having a lot of thoughts about it Those thoughts create angry, irritable, anxious, fear…whatever that might be The important thing to figure out is what is your hunger mindset? Here are two examples of mine When I got hangry on the bike ride Situation Thoughts i went into Action: Ate a lot of popcorn unnecessarily Result: What i learned from it The stadium hunger: What happened and how I handled it How is Hangry affecting your life? What is the result of feeling Hangry? C: feel hunger T: I can’t stand this, I need to eat now, this is not comfortable, I want to eat F: feel angry, anxious, irritable A: don’t make rational food decision, eat more than you are hungry for, eat fast, don’t listen to body, be rude to other people R: scale up, and you don’t learn how to have a better relationship with hunger When you can’t handle your hunger are you going to be able to lose weight? What to do about hangry Expect it Less fear More feeling prepared Make a plan for it How will you handle it when it happens When it comes: Deep breaths Be with it, not avoiding it Birthing class example Describe to yourself the physical sensations

It can look like cutting out food groups like sugar or gluten, restricting yourself to a number of calories or points, blaming the food or ourself for wanting to overeat If i cut out these things all my problems of wanting to overeat them will be solved Restriction is the go to weight loss method when we lack a belief in yourself and your ability to change your brain and trust yourself around food. What and why: Action you take… this is important because as i talk about here a lot that means there is a thought process and emotion the precedes taht action. Simply taking action to lose weight rarely works Knee jerk reaction, usually take it out of frustration, regret, guilt, shame C: overeat, eat foods we know wont serve us T: this is the only thing that will help, i don’t know how else to get myself to stop eating those foods, im out of control, im fed up with myself, something is wrong with me F: frustrated, regret, doubt, no self confidence A: restriction R: we don’t actually have the ability to self regulate because we don’t trust ourselves around food When we react in this way we keep the cycle of restricting and then overeating alive. The pendulum What is really happening is we don’t trust ourselves around food and don’t believe in our ability to not want to overeat eat those foods, so we try to draw a line and say we can’t have it The result is we don’t build trust with ourself, we don’t build our self confidence around tempting foods, we don’t build belief that we can be around that food and not overeat After the tension of wanting to eat the forbidden thing becomes unbearable…we run out of the energy to keep resisting. If you tell yourself you can’t have something then you are making it top of mind. What you focus on you get more of. Now you are thinking about the forbidden thing all the time…and resisting eating it. It takes a lot of energy Ex. tell yourself today you can’t have any sugar. Tell yourself sugar is the problem, there’s a problem with your ability to want to eat sugar, you have a problem with sugar and you shouldn’t have it, you can’t have any sugar. No cookies, no ice cream, no dessert, you better watch out for salad dressings, is fruit ok? Where do you draw the line? Now you are just focussed on sugar…you are thinking about it all the time. It’s top of mind….so of course if it’s on your brain, and you don’t have any tools to manage your mind around desire to eat, building your confidence around food, then you wont know how to stop wanting to eat it You are going to spin out in this for however long you can hold out. You blame the food, you blame yourself, but really you are missing the right tools! Eventually you eat and you determine the food and you are the problem, but you can’t escape either one….so what do you do? Give up, tell yourself you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the willpower or motivation. The problem never gets solved this way because you haven’t learned anything What to do instead People sometimes say but if i don’t restrict myself i wil ljust go crazy and eat everything. Restriction is not what is preventing you from eating all the things, and it isn’t by the way, because you are! Your mind is… That will come out of a thought process that looks like: T: restriction is the only thing stopping me from eating, im out of control, i can’t stop F: out of control, But this also takes a lot of energy, and it feels terrible physically What you focus on your get more of…When you take the focus off of the food and off of your ability to not want it and put it instead on: It’s possible to not want to eat this food My brain is capable of change I am working on building my confidence around food I am learning to trust myself and my body When you stop eliminating foods or restricting yourself to a number of points or calories you begin to build trust in yourself.. In your ability to be around food and not want to overeat it

Mindset weight loss for beginners Hi, I'm Hayley, Nutritionist and brain training weight loss coach. Ready to quit dieting and lose weight for the long term in a way that feels effortless? Join my proven weight loss program: basicallyitmeals.com If you feel like mindset, brain training, tackling emotional eating is where you need to go to lose the weight you want but you aren’t sure where to begin, this episode is for you. The first thing to do for yourself at home is to make a plan. First thing in the morning or the night before write down what you are going to eat today. This plan isn’t about punishing yourself or restricting yourself. It is about living your life. Don’t make it strict, that is not what this is about, plan your indulgences too How do you want to feel physically during the day What will help you get through your day feeling energized What food choices will make you proud What this plan does: This process is not about punishment or losing 10 pounds tomorrow, it is about gathering data, learning about your brain and your body Because you wrote down what you are going to eat you will see where your brain is wanting to make changes in the moment out of emotional eating or cravings That looks good Everyone else is doing ti One bite wont hurt, but it’s never one bit Youve had a really hard or stressful day You need to know where your brain is looking for opportunities to eat so that you can start working on that part of your brain, retraining it to not desire to eat all the time The other thing the plan will help you uncover is how much food your body is actually asking for and what foods feel good in your body Smoothie story Postpartum weight loss story A huge part of my clients weight loss journey is the brain-body connection so that you are able to listen to your bodies natural cues and when coupled with brain retraining you can honor them no matter what your brain starts telling you about snacks, cookies in thre breakroom what have you My challenge to you is to plan for one week. Evaluate it each day. See what is working and what isn’t and make daily tweaks. If you don’t follow the plan that is ok! THis is a learning expedition, not about perfectionism .