NLP In Action - Mike Sweet - 10 Minute Coach - Rapid Practical NLP

Mike Sweet - The 10 Minute Coach
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NLP In Action - Mike Sweet - 10 Minute Coach - Rapid Practical NLP

NLP in Action is a 10 minute practical guide to NLP by Mike Sweet, The 10 Minute Coach. Each of the episodes is aimed to give you an insight into the world of NLP. Since the 1970's NLP has come a long way and is now adopted into the business and professional worlds as its ethos, techniques and processes have proven themselves over time. NLP is without doubt, an art-form. It's all about flexibility and finding new possibilities. I wonder what you'll discover?

  1. 023 - Reframing in NLP

    18/03/2018

    023 - Reframing in NLP

    Reframing is a core element of NLP. It's a simple yet powerful process that can mean the difference between you have a stressed and uptight life or one much more enjoyable one. Seriously, it really is that good. And the great news is, you'll already do this in some shape or form.

    11 min
  2. 022 - Deletions in NLP

    17/03/2018

    022 - Deletions in NLP

    There are 3 areas that I'll separate out for Deletions. These are Nominalisations, Unspecified verbs and Simple deletions. For clarity, the purpose of understanding deletions is to get to the heart of another person map. We are deletions machines, it allows us to simplify and fast track through life, but this means we miss so much of what actually is going on for a person. The first sections we can take a deep dive into is Nominalisations, I have written a post, podcast and video on this, but in the interest of keeping it all together, here's another summary.

    16 min
  3. 021 - Generalisations in NLP

    16/03/2018

    021 - Generalisations in NLP

    Generally speaking, generalisations are everywhere. Learn this and begin to spot generalisations in NLP. Generalisations are one of the fundamental pieces of the Meta-model. With already took a deep dive into distortions which you can find here and also the question, what is the Meta-model and you can find that here too. Generalisations generally occur whenever a person generalises specific information. So much of the Meta-model helps us navigate what we do daily. The Metamodel and the three fundamental pieces are a way for us to get to the heart of the real issue or understand what is the person is aiming to communicate.

    12 min
  4. 020 - Distortions in NLP

    13/01/2018

    020 - Distortions in NLP

    There are five main distortions in NLP seen in the Meta model. They are:  Mind reading  Cause-and-effect  Lost performative  Complex equivalence  Presuppositions Mind Reading We are all guilty of mind reading I know you are! A mind read is categorised by knowing what someone else is thinking or feeling but without any information to support that thought. Mind reading can come in lots of different forms. One of them which is very common is knowing what a person is thinking or feeling. Another is how others should know how we think and feel. And lastly predicting the future or proper sizing what is going to happen. Whenever you hear mind reading type statements you can begin to ask questions using 'how' and 'what.' Examples: "He wants to ask me out" "You don't give me what I want" "I just know Christmas will be a disaster" "I know that you will want to live in the Cotswolds when you see my house" "You have no idea what is going to happen" Meta model challenges to those statements "How do you know he wants to ask you out?" "What do you want specifically?" "Really? How specifically do you know that?" "How do you know that when I see your house in the Cotswolds I want to live there?" "How do you know that I have no idea what is going to happen?" Possible Reply "Well, he's always nervous when he's around me" "I want to feel like wearing this together" "It's just that December has been a nightmare so far so it will probably continue" "Because I did when I visited a friend here" "Because I think it's going to be worse than you given credit for" Cause and Effect Recognising a cause-and-effect Meta model violation is when you spot and X causes why configurations in the language. so much of our life is in a cause-and-effect format that has a tendency to make connections where there is none. "If you do your homework, then you can stay up late on Friday." "If you pass all of your grades at school, you will get a good job." So in the Meta model for cause and effect, we are looking for violations where someone associates X causes Y. Whenever you spot this cause-and-effect violation it's time to begin asking more questions to find out how specifically do they know that X causes Y? Examples: "My boss makes me angry when he doesn't come in early on Monday" "If my daughter fails her dance exam I will be disappointed" "Going to the gym will wear a body out" "If you drink alcohol you will get dementia" "Getting married made my brother the depressive he is today" Meta Model Challenges "How specifically that his lateness make you angry? What about if he's late on Tuesday?" "How will you disappoint yourself?" "How do you know that to be true? do you know of any gym goers who haven't worn at their body? Just how much Gym does it take to wear out your body?" "How much alcohol specifically? Do you know of anyone who does drink alcohol who hasn't got dementia?  I drink some alcohol are you sure I will get dementia?" "What was it about marrying that made your brother begin to depress himself?" Lost Performative Recognising a lost performative is when you hear a person say something like, "We will end up living on Mars by 2050" or "Only weak people stay in relationships." The structure of a lost performative is an opinion stated as a fact and a value judgement that does not say who had that value. You can begin to challenge lost performative type statements by asking "who says, according to whom and how do you know that?" type of questions. Examples:  "It's good to go to the Gym three times per week" "You need to go on as many training courses as you can" "Reading is relaxing" Meta model Challenges to those statements "Who says it's good to go to the gym three times a week?" "Who says you need to go in as many training courses you can, and how do you know that to be true?" "According to whom?" Possible replies to the challenges "I heard it on a podcast about health" "The person who was teaching me NLP!" "Well, I find reading relaxing!" Complex Equivalence A complex equivalence is very similar to cause-and-effect. Just as we, cause-and-effect is when X  causes Y. And complex equivalence can be recognised by hearing a statement that says X means Y. "The fact that you're reading watching or listening to this means that you'll find something new!" it's amazing how often you will hear people attach meaning to something very different. "The fact that you're changing your job means that you are outgrowing your family" Whenever you hear convex equivalent type statements you can challenge them by asking. "So does X have to always equal Y? Could it mean anything else? Does it always have to mean that?" Examples: "You're not coming to bed the same time as me, you don't love me as much anymore" "Bitcoin value is rising our government isn't going to last" "Samsung are late releasing the new phone, so there's tension growing between North and South Korea." Meta model challenges "How does me staying up to finish watching this documentary mean I don't love you as much?" "How does Bitcoin rising mean our government isn't going to last?" "How does Samsung being late to release their new phone mean there's growing tension between North and South Korea?" Possible replies "I think married couples should always go to bed together to show there is a bond."  "Well, Bitcoin is anti-establishment so I think a rise in its value means a fall in the governments holds." "They've never been late to release a new phone so It's obviously a big political reason." Presuppositions If you've been looking into NLP you have heard the word presupposition quite frequently. A presupposition is simply a part of the statement has to be presupposed to be true in order for that sentence to make sense. We challenge presuppositions to allow us to gain more specific detail and get closer to the truth. Let's look at some working examples of presuppositions in NLP. Examples In court, a judge might say "have you stopped beating your wife?" This statement presupposes that the husband was, in fact, beating his wife. "What's your problem?" This presupposes that a person does have a problem. "Are you not intelligent enough to work this out?"  This statement presupposes that there is something to work out, intelligence is required to work it out. "Enjoy your next burger even more" Presupposes that someone has had a burger and they will have another at some point. Meta model challenges You can use any suitable meta model question to dive more deeply into the intention behind any presupposition. "Your honour, are you suggesting I did want to beat my wife? could there be any other explanation to her bruised arm?" You could answer this provocatively. "Well, what's my problem? Depends on how long you've got!" "My next burger? how do you know of had one in the first place?" with everything, practice makes permanent. To save this and come back to this article many times and really begin to notice these distortions in NLP in other people's language and even yours. Have a play around with some of the Meta model challenges and begin to notice how you're able to really open up a person's map to allow you to understand more richly and more deeply.

    16 min
  5. 019 - What Is the NLP Meta Model

    12/01/2018

    019 - What Is the NLP Meta Model

    The NLP Meta model is a linguistic process that was developed back in the 70s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. The Meta model gives you a set of questions that allow you to gain some high-quality information. By now, you probably understand that each of us represents the world very differently. We have our own map. The Meta model allows you to question a person's map to discover more detail and more of what is real. Starting from the fact that we all experience life differently through our senses. And each of us distorts, generalise and delete lots of information at any given time. Each of our maps is completely different because of our internal representations are different. The Meta model allows us to explore a person's map in more detail. The NLP Meta model has three distinct categories Distortions Generalisations Deletions Distortions Distortion is the process that allows you to take an experience and change it. Whenever we bring in information through our senses, we hold that in our memory in a way that is right for us at that time. If we don't talk about that event, we generally blur the lines between fact and fiction and we use our own language to describe what happened. We often use distortions when we recall conversations, explain what happened and describe what and why we want something for example. Generalisations Generalisations are essential in our life. We use generalisations to garner information from one area to allow us to learn or understand another area. for example, if I was to show you a stool that you'd never seen before, you would know that that was a stool. It has three legs and a top, therefore, it must be a stool. Generalisations can also work against you. Just because your last two bosses were horrible to you, doesn't necessarily mean all bosses are horrible. Our ability to generalise helps us massively. also, our ability to generalise can also lead us to make unhelpful connections generally. Deletions We are deletion machines. It is said that there are over 2 billion pieces of information bombarding our senses at any one time. yet, we are only able to process between five and nine pieces of information at any one time. it's simply not possible to pay attention to all of the information around us at any one time. Whatever you choose to be aware of will normally be picked up by your attention. You can select what it is you want to focus on and your senses will begin to notice those things. But think of how many processes are happening outside of your conscious awareness. That time a wasp was chasing you around the garden, did you notice how nice the flower smelt? What we notice and what we focus on generally become real for us. This is why it's important to understand our usual structure of how we delete things. Imagine having a mindset where you consciously look for things to be appreciative for and things that go right. They are the things that you will notice and that will become real to you. Big corporations often focus on areas that can be improved. this is fine from a constructive point of view in most cases, however, the people involved will find it difficult to see the successes and the enjoyment of the work that they are doing. Check out the Reticular activating system and what you focus on increases for more on how our own radar works.

    10 min
  6. 018 - NLP Beliefs of Excellence Part 2

    11/01/2018

    018 - NLP Beliefs of Excellence Part 2

    This is part 2 of the NLP beliefs of excellence. Here is Part 1 You Cannot Not Communicate We understand communication is something that we usually do verbally. However, any thoughts or feelings that are happening internally, will begin to affect us physiologically on the outside and therefore will be communicating with others how and where we are at that time. whether verbally or nonverbally we cannot not communicate, and others around us are always communicating. The Meaning Of The Communication Is The Response You Get I'm sure you can think of many times when you were  talking with a person only to have them reject what you were saying and then you follow up with "that wasn't what I meant." When you understand that we are all different and that there is no failure only feedback. You can begin to hold on to the belief that the meaning of the communication is the response that you get and therefore begin to take full ownership of your language and communication to ensure you get your message across in the way that you desire whilst paying particular attention to another person's map. There Is A Positive Intention Behind Every Behaviour This is sometimes difficult belief to swallow. However, if you do accept that there is a positive intention behind every behaviour. Then you can begin to question and wonder how another person may have constructed that within their map of the world. If you see someone demonstrate behaviour that you don't like. What must be the positive intention for them at that time given the resources available to them? Adopting this belief requires you to be curious and less judgemental. People Are Always Making The Best Choices Available To Them Each of us has our own unique personal history.  this personal history defines and shapes our future choices and decisions. The combination of past events and history and current states emotions and knowledge allow people to make the best choices available to them at that time. Ever heard the saying "with hindsight I'd......?" This demonstrates that people are also able to review a situation or choice that they had made with hindsight and realise that they may have chosen something different had that information is available to them at that time. There Is No Failure Only Feedback This belief of excellence has become more and more common. However, break it down into its simplest form and it's baffling it's even a thing. Nearly everything that we learn to do in life comes from repetition, change in strategy or direction and multiple attempts until we improve or get it right. If as a child, we didn't have this embedded within us. Would all be crawling as adults is after failing, falling down repeatedly. We would see as a failure rather than feedback and be done with our lot crawling on all hands and knees for the rest of our lives. As adults though, most of us shy away from the potential of failure. this is just a gentle reminder to say that every time you fail, you'll receive feedback and you'll be better able to make a more educated move the next time. We Have All Of The Resources That We Need This can be a very empowering belief. I remember saying to my first NLP Trainer "but we don't, that's why we need to learn new things. We don't have the resources but with learning, we can have." To which he responded, "and you do have the resources you need to know that you need to learn more which is why you're on this course." Whenever I think of this belief of excellence now, I always think of the film my left foot Sometimes the resources that we need are available to us they just require a little bit more effort. Try some of these beliefs of excellence on size and noticed the impact that they have.

    11 min
  7. 017 - NLP Beliefs of Excellence - Part 1

    10/01/2018

    017 - NLP Beliefs of Excellence - Part 1

    What and how we believe can dramatically change the way we live our lives. And the great thing about beliefs is we can change them at any time that we choose. NLP, which is the study of excellence which to put even more simply. The study of what works. And from studying what works comes these beliefs of excellence. Have a read through these beliefs of excellence and try them on the size. If you absorb and live by these beliefs, imagine how differently you would see situations. Each person is unique -  The Map Is Not The Territory This is perhaps the most common for all of NLP. When you understand each person is individual, then, we are all different. Each of us has our mental maps that we interpret the world to arrive our very own conclusion. These, differ from person to person. each new experience and interpretation of the experience is usually shaded in some way by our experience. This is partially what gives us our uniqueness. Each Experience Has A Structure This can be viewed as all knowledge, memories, thoughts and imaginations are merely a result of the way we have filters installed all previous information. All of our thoughts and our memories have a pattern structure to them. And these are what allow us to anchor our emotional states and feelings to past experiences. The structure that is created within each experience allows us to fast-track back to an initial thought feeling or emotion at a specific time. If an unhelpful experience has a structure, they were able to change the structure which would change the output of that experience. This is one of the ways that change can occur using NLP techniques. If Someone Can Do It -  Anyone Can Do It This belief of excellence has been in place in NLP since the mid-70s. Only recently, Carol Dweck has added some sound science to this belief in her study of fixed versus growth mindsets. What a great belief to hold. Also, if every experience has a structure, then everything that anyone does with excellence will also have a structure. Modelling, which is the cornerstone of NLP can allow a person to uncover another's excellence and try that on for size. There Is A Solution To Every Problem I believe that this belief is becoming more and more common. We live in a world now where we can access so much information, which solutions can become easier to find. If you do what you've always done then you'll get you always got. So when you believe that there is a solution to every problem, then you can look at the issue as temporary and use the tote model to begin to seek the solution intelligently. The Mind And Body Are Parts of The Same System Whatever and however we think directly affects our physiology. But also, our physiology directly affects our psychology. This completely two-way street. You've heard the saying " fake it until you make it," which is now probably overused. However, there is a lot of sense in this because whenever a person acts confident and relaxed about the situation, then they will get able to feel that. The converse is true also. When you act and feel depressed, then you're more likely to feel depressive feelings. The mind controls the body, and the body controls the mind they are parts of the same system

    9 min
  8. 016 - NLP Nominalisations

    09/01/2018

    016 - NLP Nominalisations

    Nominalisations happen whenever a person describes a process (Verb) as a thing (Noun). Usually, a thing that cannot be picked up. You will hear NLP'ers talk about nominalisations is nouns that you can't put in a wheelbarrow. You will begin to come to new understandings of this as you learn more about NLP. The word understandings here is a 'thing' you will have. So, therefore, an item which is not tangible. 'Understandings' is a nominalisation. A summary of an action, into an item. Nominalisations are stuck in time. Much of NLP is about uncovering and discovering the real meaning or intention behind the communication. Whenever a person describes something using a nominalisation, it seems very factual and stable. As a person working with an individual who is using nominalisations and feels trapped. You can begin to help them realise that the nominalisation is apparent and could become a process which is a verb. I can't say this enough; nouns are fixed and definite. Verbs are actions and allow for change. As cliches as it might sound, the only thing constant is change. So helping a person realise and understand that their descriptions of themselves or an event in nouns can feel far more freeing when they are changed into verbs. Action items An identifying statement of "I have anxiety."  Allows that person to own anxiety as a thing. Of course, nothing that they are unable to touch, locate, remove or forget to take to work one day. It can become a thing that people aren't able to get past. But when a person identifies with anxiety as a process, then the possibility of changing it is far easier to notice. "I'm feeling anxious." Some examples of nominalisations I have a belief (Noun) to, I'm believing (Verb) My relationship needs some work (Double noun in this one) We're working on the way we both relate to each other. I have depression. "How do you depress yourself?" Your behaviour is terrible Could change too. You're behaving terribly When you begin to notice nominalisations in communication you can become a master influencer and negotiator.

    7 min
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About

NLP in Action is a 10 minute practical guide to NLP by Mike Sweet, The 10 Minute Coach. Each of the episodes is aimed to give you an insight into the world of NLP. Since the 1970's NLP has come a long way and is now adopted into the business and professional worlds as its ethos, techniques and processes have proven themselves over time. NLP is without doubt, an art-form. It's all about flexibility and finding new possibilities. I wonder what you'll discover?

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