Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-Being Kyla Schnellert & Kelsey Bowyer

Rachel Kaplan is a licensed psychotherapist and the creator and host of iTunes acclaimed New and Noteworthy podcast The Healing Feeling Sh*t Show. Rachel has spent the last 25+ years studying healing and teaching folks how to collectively reclaim their natural ability to feel their feelings and to develop emotional resilience. Rachel joins Educated Messes to share her personal story of loss that led her down this path, and to walk us through the different steps involved in moving our emotions.
Rachel shares the importance of creating safe containers to access and process our unresolved feelings. We talk about society’s blossoming acceptance of sadness versus its flat-out rejection of anger and healthy ways to approach and experience anger so that it doesn’t build up in our bodies. Doing the work of addressing and processing our feelings is no easy feat, but what’s the cost of continuing to turn away from ourselves? We think it’s too high.
Find Rachel’s work:

TikTok: @thefeelingsmovement


Website: http://healingfeelingshitshow.com/


Instagram: @healingfeelingshitshow


Core Wound Quiz

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Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

In part two of our authenticity series, we get real passionate as we explore tools to embrace vulnerability and live a more authentically aligned life. We share that we are done pursuing contentment and are instead moving into our ~big feelings era~. We talk about how choosing authenticity is an act of mini-revolution against the conforms of society and the patriarchy (such light and fun topics).
We remember that while channeling our truest selves might bug some folks, we don’t owe anyone previous versions of ourselves. Ultimately, we decide that given how we’re all just floating around in different realities, worrying about other people's perceptions of us is a waste of our precious time.
In part two of our authenticity series, we get real passionate as we explore tools to embrace vulnerability and live a more authentically aligned life. We share that we are done pursuing contentment and are instead moving into our ~big feelings era~. We talk about how choosing authenticity is an act of mini-revolution against the conforms of society and the patriarchy (such light and fun topics).
We remember that while channeling our truest selves might bug some folks, we don’t owe anyone previous versions of ourselves. Ultimately, we decide that given how we’re all just floating around in different realities, worrying about other people's perceptions of us is a waste of our precious time.
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Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.
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Other EM episodes we mention

Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I)
Episode 22: How Do I Treat Myself Better (Self Compassion Pt. II)
Episode 01: Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things?
We also mention
Podcast: “Embrace Your Authentic Self” - Reset with Liz Tran
Book: “Daring Greatly” - Brene Brown
Podcast: Radical Acceptance - Gateway to Love, Wisdom, and Peace - Tara Brach
Website: Courage, Vulnerability, & Shame Researcher Brené Brown
Definition: Authenticity - Psychology Today
Article: “The Study of Authenticity” - Elizabeth Hopper, PhD
Sources
Book: “Daring Greatly” - Brene Brown
Wikipedia: Self-Objectification
 

In part one of our authenticity series, we define what authenticity means to us (“striving to align our actions with our core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, our true selves.”) and discuss three big barriers that might be preventing us from being our most authentic selves.
We learn how complex of a topic authenticity really is and explore how difficult it can be act in alignment with our values in a society that repeatedly tells us not to love and listen to ourselves.
We share some of our personal experiences with authenticity, discuss the importance of being clear on our values and how mindfulness can help us behave more authentically.
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Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.
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Other EM episodes we mention
 
Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I)
Episode 22: How Do I Treat Myself Better (Self Compassion Pt. II)
Episode 11: How Can I Tell If I'm A People Pleaser
Episode 01: Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things?
We also mention
Podcast Episode: “Embrace Your Authentic Self” - Reset with Liz Tran
Courage, Vulnerability, & Shame Researcher Brené Brown
Podcast Episode: Radical Acceptance - Gateway to Love, Wisdom, and Peace -Tara Brach
Definition of Authenticity from Psychology Today
Authenticity studies discussed in this Healthy Psych article

In part two of our self compassion series, we learn from the queen of self compassion herself (Dr. Kristen Neff) how we might become more loving, caring, and nurturing towards ourselves as we navigate Big Things in life. 
We explore our personal experiences with self esteem, discuss how mindfulness and self compassion are both important parts of meeting difficult experiences with less resistance, and share some tools that can help us strengthen our individual self compassion practices.Also, Kelsey says “flagellating” and we have a good long laugh in the fact check about Kyla discovering her “”inner baby””.
 
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Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.




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Other EM episodes we mention
 
Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I)
We also mention
Workbook: “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” Kristen Neff
Kristen Neff: Website
Video: School of Life - How To Simplify Your Life (Kyla mentions putting your inner baby down for a nap lol)
Worksheet Download: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Thought Recording (similar to one Kyla uses)
Problem-Solving Tool: The Five Whys
Tik Tok: “If It’s Coming Up, It’s Coming Up To Go”
Series: Maid

It’s the season of love, so what better time to learn how to treat ourselves a bit more lovingly? In part one of our Self-Compassion Series, we dig into the challenges we personally face in being compassionate towards ourselves. We discuss prompts from Dr. Kristen Neff’s self compassion workbook, examine our own patterns, and start to discuss areas where we could treat ourselves a bit more kindly. We open up about the struggle of wanting to evolve without rejecting who we are right now and noodle on how we might find balance between loving ourselves while also recognizing that there is always room to grow.
This isn’t our first attempt at recording an episode on this topic (the first one ended up being scrapped and replaced by our burnout episode…and then we disappeared for nine months…) but this time around we’re feeling renewed and a little bit more equipped to explore this very important topic.
TLDR; Self-compassion is hard, y’all.
Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.
 
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Other EM episodes we mention
 
Episode 01: Why is it so Hard to Try New Things?
Episode 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic?
We also mention
Workbook: “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” Kristen Neff
Book: “Trick Mirror” by Jia Tolentino
Article: “Athleisure, barre and kale: the tyranny of the ideal woman” Jia Tolentino
Kristen Neff: Website

In our first episode back after our 9 month hiatus, we touch on why we left and how we’ve been sorting through what was a pretty intense and difficult time in both of our lives. We reflect on the past year including what we’re proud of, what we learned, and how we think we’ve changed.
We’re excited to be back and can’t wait to reconnect with the Educated Messes community. Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes!Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.



 



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Other EM episodes we mention
 
Episode 14: New Year, Same Us (But Growing)
Episode 15: Why is it So Hard to Make New Friends
Episode 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic?
We also mention
Podcast: The Healing Feeling Shit Show
Podcast: Andrew Huberman - Armchair Expert
Youtube Course: Therapy in a Nutshell
Article: “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” by Adam Grant
Book: “24/6 The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week” by Tiffany Shlain
Movie: Inside Out
Sources
Dialectic Behavior Therapy: Learn More
Podcast: Andrew Huberman - Armchair Expert
Courage, Neurobiology and EMDR Therapy