Salty Hair Self Care Conversations Clare Foale

Welcome to this week's Salty Hair Self-Care Conversation. This is the first podcast of 2020. In the midst of so much happening, for me, it hasn't felt right to say, 'Happy New Year'.

It feels flippant and doesn't reflect what I'm feeling. Yet I wanted to say something to mark the beginning of a new year and a new decade.

And I guess that is this:

"Thank you for being here. I am deeply grateful to be in this community with you, sharing ideas with you. I send you my blessings. And whatever happens this year and this decade, know that we are not alone."

What I talked about:
- I acknowledged the original custodians of the land, and gave respect to the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders as the first people of Australia. I support the Uluru Statement from the heart and hope that this year, massive leaps are taken towards this happening.
- I reflected that 3 or 4 years ago, I was challenged to meditate for 10 minutes every morning for 10 days.
- At that stage my daughter was a year or so old, and it felt impossible, but I did it
- The effect of 10 minutes of silence with myself at the beginning of each day was profound.
- It was a pivotal moment in my ideas around self-care
- I came to understand the act of self-devotion. I learned the importance of starting the day by putting myself as the top priority
- It forms one of the pillars of the self-care I talk about, of starting the day off doing something, even for 2 minutes, for yourself
- The act of self-care first thing in the morning is an act so powerful that it says to myself, to my family and to the universe that I matter. That I count
- In contrast, I found that, having little children, when I didn't start the day with self-care, by afternoon I'd have done nothing for myself and everything for them, leading to resentment and a feeling of claustrophobia.
- Putting Peppa Pig on for my daughter at 6am so that I could have some time for myself had a huge impact on the trajectory of my day
- I believe that the two most important questions that we can ask ourselves, particularly at the beginning of the day are 'How am I?' and, 'What do I need?'
- At the start of the school holidays I was often choosing sleep over self-devotion, and it didn't feel good. I felt grumpy. Short tempered.
- I noticed this and started rising at 5.20am to go to the beach.
- It has been beautiful and profound. It has deepened my devotion to self-devotion.
- One day at the beach I cried for 20 minutes. It was a great release
- Another day I released my frustration and sadness through journaling (20 pages!)
- I came to realise I was depending on going to the beach like my happiness depended on it. I didn't want this action to become fear based. I realise there are other ways to devote time to my own well-being
- What does self-devotion in the morning look like to you? Share with me via my social media

Connect With Clare:

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Welcome to this week's Salty Hair Self-Care Conversation, where I'm chatting with Aycee Brown about Human Design, who does a beautiful job of giving an overview of what Human Design is, and the five different aura types which fall under Human Design.

Aycee takes the theory of Human Design and makes it relevant to living our lives. She helps thought leaders and entrepreneurs tap into their magic and unleash their desires by becoming who they truly are, through the power of Human Design.

Personally, as I have started learning a little about Human Design, I have found it has helped me understand why I find something's really easy and flowing and other things really hard.

It has given me permission to not beat myself up about it. To not say, 'That's good or that's bad', but to have an acceptance of all that.

Human Design is a tool designed to help us understand ourselves more.

'I like to really focus on the healing part of Human Design. The healing part of uncovering those inner child wounds through it. And figuring out things like, "Oh, this is why I felt like this or this is why I felt like that."'

Self-care is protecting yourself from the things that you have learned to tolerate. Whether it's family, whether it's friends, whether it's certain situations, certain work environments, it's really about putting yourself first'.

What we talked about:

- Human Design is a combination of astrology, Kabbalah, the I Ching system and metaphysics.
- It is like an instruction manual on how to achieve your potential.
- Aura types. You can find out what yours is based on your birth date and time.
- The five aura types are Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector and Reflector
- Using it to understand why certain things may not have worked out or why you felt the way you did.
- Human Design helps you make better decisions about moving forward towards your destiny moving forward towards your purpose in life.
- Different auras have different ways of making decisions.
- When life is challenging, 'there's so much opportunity in certain seasons for people to grow, for people to learn, for people not to repeat the same mistakes again, that we just miss it sometimes because we want to get out of that situation so bad.'
- Self-care is putting yourself first, but that may lead to having to make hard decisions.
- Different aura types require different forms of self-care
- These modalities are a brilliant tool But don't let them define you. Let them be a part of you.

Connect With Aycee:

Instagram

Subscribe to her podcast 'Is My Aura On Straight?'

Connect With Clare:

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I am joined this week by Judi Taylor. Spoiler alert! Not only is Judi a wonderful and wise woman but she's also my mum J

Judi has, for 40 years, been a social worker by trade as well as a spiritual counsellor and an events organizer. She has been practicing and involved with meditation across many faiths and traditions and now teachers in the Christian tradition.

She's involved with running retreats at Dango Island with Paul, her husband, and also running groups in jails with marginalized groups and in interfaith discussions.

This conversation explores the idea of rest and what a nourishing and vital part of self-care and life this is.

We explore why rest is so important and what rest looks like. It is not only sleep, but also having space to let our mind wonder, whether that's meditation or walking bare foot or reading or napping or painting.

What rest looks like for each of us on any day can be different. But that is a really spacious and rejuvenating way of spending time and it creates space for us to be with ourselves.

It is something that requires trust. That is a recurring theme in this conversation.

'I am so busy is often the mantra of culture. We amaze each other with our impossibly crowded schedules. Is this how we feel worthwhile? Is there a note of pride in this?

If we do not rest, we'd lose our way. We forget who we are, what we are doing and what we are doing it for.

Rest before we are tired, before we become ill, surrender to this wonderful gift we have been given, remembering who we are and who we have been created to be, knowing all is well.'

What we talked about:

- Judi wrote a piece called Sabbath ponderings, which prompted this conversation
- Everything is within us, but at speed we don't notice it
- In meditation, 'We become the person we were created to be'.
- Intentional resting, as Christians do with the Sabbath, allows us to take stock of where we are, what we've got to give thanks for and to realize how blessed we are, how enough we have. That we don't need more.
- It helps us get off the treadmill of 'go go go' and moves us towards 'enough-ness' and recognising our blessings.
- Rest as a form of activism and rebellion. To stake our claim that this is enough. We are enough.
- Connecting with the natural world.
- Giving ourselves permission with tender generosity to rest. To stop. To take time to follow our curiosity without trying to 'achieve'.
- Juicy thoughts and creativity occur in this space.
- Acknowledgement that neither work nor rest are better.
- We can't listen at speed. We can't love at speed.
- Trust is necessary to be able to rest. We need to feel safe to rest. We need to trust that life will go on without us and trust that it's worthwhile to take this time to rest.
- Sometimes it happens that we don't rest until we get sick, and that is a shame.
- Let the soul meander and dream
- Don't look for large chunks of time, if that is unrealistic. It might be 5 minutes. It can be that you start to notice little spaces of opportunity to rest.
- Be aware of your beliefs around your indispensability or needing to achieve.

To find out more about the meditation Judi is involved with and the work she does, head to the World Community for Christian Meditation here

Connect With Clare:

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Gemma Lloyd is a proud Dunghutti woman originally from New South Wales, Australia.

Gemma is a yoga teacher, honouring the lineage of Sadhana Yoga and studied in Indonesia in 2015.

She incorporates her knowledge of Barri Dhimbuyn earth spirit and the ancient wisdom of yoga and Ayurvedic to offer a unique perspective of yoga practice here in Australia.

Her business also creates and supplies beautiful affirmation cards and yoga products.

She was the Ayers Rock Resort Yoga teacher from 2015-2018, and currently offers private digital classes.

She currently resides in Brisbane and is the co-owner, operator of Dhunuwi Wa Durrgan.

This business creates opportunities for all people to find wellness in mind, body, and spirit, and believes that people equipped with the right tools can achieve their greatest potential. They aim to be a global leader in self-development and hope to raise awareness of sustainability and ethical practice.

'When an Aboriginal person has the opportunity to find that connection, whether that is language, whether it's walking on country, whether it's learning how to paint or sitting with an elder and hearing story, that revitalization of culture can happen in many, many ways.

I hope that through providing these cards to people that they too can feel like they have that connection and they could possibly learn something else than what they just see in the media.'

What we talked about:

- Clare discovered Gemma and her business after becoming uncomfortable with using oracle cards featuring Cultural appropriation
- Clare reached out to Gemma to ask if it was okay for her, as a white woman, to use the cards Gemma creates. Gemma replied, 'We would absolutely love for you to incorporate these into your practice.'
- Language revitalisation as a source of empowerment
- Gemma grew up in Wollongong and was involved in several Aboriginal corporations and belonged to a dancing group
- She felt a connection to her ancestry through her family, but felt something was missing.
- She went to Ayers Rock Resort to work
- She worked closely with Aunties there who spoke the Pitjantjara, which they taught her
- This was her connection to story telling, to language, to culture, to history that she had been longing for
- She was incredibly excited to discover children's books and a dictionary in her Dunghutti language. She did not know that any such resources existed.
- Learning the language is a personal journey for Gemma. This is what lead her to create the affirmation cards
- Gemma grew up on a farm, in nature, and saw the world as a living being. Not as 'something'.
- Mother Earth spoke to her and nurtured her
- The significance of dreaming in Aboriginal culture.
- Dhunuwi Wa Durrgan means 'sun and moon'
- The three pillars of Gemma's business are sustainability, development and wellness.
- The Barri Dhimbuyn are printed on recycled paper and shipped in compostable bags
- Every time you just walk with no shoes on, on country, you're meditating
- Every Aboriginal person is writing their Songlines
- How to show respect for the nation's first people


'I think wellness is using the tool, the opportunities you have right there at your feet or your fingertips and implementing them into your life, however that suits you. wellness is whatever my body, mind and spirit feels like it needs that day.'

Connect With Gemma:

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Connect With Clare:

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This interview came about as a result of an Instagram post I shared. I posted a photo which featured a silhouette of my body. The caption read, 'I am not pregnant'. Because often I get asked if I am pregnant. I went on to share that it's taken years to come to a place of accepting and loving my body and not being upset every time that I'm asked that.

Meg commented, 'Love this Clare! I liberated my belly this year after being diagnosed with a prolapse and learning how the way we are conditioning women to move and hold ourselves contributes. I could literally talk about my belly all day long! I love how my back now has a curve and I can wear different types of clothes! ❤️❤️❤️'

The idea of accepting and embracing your body as self-care became apparent and I knew I would love to interview Meg to explore this topic further.

Meg is a mother, a feminist, a coach, a facilitator, and a yoga teacher who helps women liberate themselves from socially prescribed ideals to step into sacred social leadership.

She believes that relationship breakdowns and career crises are portals into deep individual and planetary healing that centres healthy relating, holistic wellness and earth stewardship.

Meg brings together more than 10 years of work around social change, her Masters Degree in Gender and Public Health, and her experience as a yoga teacher, coach and leadership facilitator to create incredible learning experiences for women seeking radical wellbeing, deep connection, and an unshakeable sense of purpose.

"The starting point sometimes of changing our internal language is changing how we relate to others about this stuff. And so that's why I'm so grateful to be having these conversations with you because I am so happy to have zero filter and share all of the gory details because I think that it's truly in service of what we're trying to move culture toward", says Meg.

What We Talked About:
- Self-care as an act of rebellion.
- Our relationship with our bellies as a portal into how we relate to women, to womanhood, to mothers, to each other as women, and then also how we relate to the earth.
- Being diagnosed with a prolapse, which took 10 months after the birth of her second child to be discovered.
- Discovering Christine Kent's work on the pelvic area, and her assertion that prolapse is a postural condition
- According to Christine, the optimal posture for women is different to what we are taught in Western Culture
- This posture leads to the belly poking out, which Meg found liberating and a home coming. She no longer lived to fit into an unnatural, unattainable ideal.
- Belly in or belly out of the undies.
- Learning not to make others comfortable at the expense of yourself.
- Lessons in standing up for yourself against microaggressions. Allowing someone else to experience discomfort rather than wounding the self.
- Being devoted to your personal truth rather than the other person's comfort.
- Getting 'bikini ready' versus 'putting on a bikini'.

"If we all listen to our inner knowing, we would be honouring our cycles. We would be honouring the seasons. We would not be living the way we are living. We would be in deep connection with people and each other. We would be in deep stewardship of our land. We would be in deep self-responsibility around our impact", Meg says.

Connect With Meg:

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Connect With Clare:
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In this episode I chat with Becca Piastrelli.

Becca is a writer, a women's coach, and host of the 'Belonging' podcast, which is probably my favourite podcast.

Becca holds space for women to explore ancestral wisdom, to connect with the earth and to find meaningful and inclusive sisterhood. In the age of loneliness, Becca shows us how to feel like we truly belong to each other, to the earth and to ourselves.

One of my favourite weekly rituals and self-care practices is to listen to this podcast. She speaks about ideas which resonates so deeply.

Sometimes listening to her feels like a remembering of something I knew long ago.

A few weeks ago, in a fit of courage, I reached out to Becca and said, 'Would you come on my podcast?", and she said yes!


What we talked about:
- The nagging sense Becca experienced of not feeling worthy or like she belonged.
- Examining her life, relationships and ancestry.
- Learning about the witch burning times, the burning times of Europe, and the ancient ways before patriarchal Christianity.
- Realising that she held in her system the energies of the oppressor and of the oppressed.
- The concept of feeling a lack of belonging is from generations of harm being caused and failing to look at it
- Becca realised that she was a descendent of those who had caused great harm.
- She now feels a deeper calling to care for herself, her neighbours and the descendants her ancestors harmed.
- The age of loneliness. We are more connected via technology that ever before, yet data is showing us that we have the highest levels of anxiety, suicide and depression.
- We've forgotten how to be neighbours. How to disagree. How to grieve. How to celebrate.
- The power in acknowledging and naming our emotions.
- The land. Our connection to it and what it teaches us.
- Cooking as self-care - or as a nuisance and inconvenience.

Connect With Becca:

Becca's 'Belonging' Podcast

Instagram

Facebook

Website

Connect With Clare:
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Facebook

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