29 episodes

The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

Sex and Psychology Podcas‪t‬ Dr. Justin Lehmiller

    • Sexuality

The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

    So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex

    So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex

    Dr. Ian Kerner is the Sherlock Holmes of sex—he’s a detective who helps people to understand the mysteries behind their sexual problems. His approach to sex therapy begins with a simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.” This question establishes the “scene of the crime,” and then it all becomes a matter of searching for the clues that led up to it.

    For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Kerner, who co-leads the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York City. He is the New York Times best-selling author of the book She Comes First, and his latest book it titled: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.

    We talk all about Dr. Kerner’s unique approach to sex therapy, how people at home can use it as a form of self-help, and general tips for improving your intimate life. Specific topics we cover include: How is sex therapy like a form of detective work? And how can this approach help sex therapists to better serve their clients? How can you better understand your own—and our partner’s—sexual scripts, and why is this a vital first step in fixing a sexual problem? What are the different frameworks for sexual desire? And what can you do if you and your partner have different desire frameworks? How is sex therapy similar or different with heterosexual patients compared to LGBTQ patients? Why is it important for us to change the way we think about our own sexual fantasies? How can you more effectively communicate about your fantasies with a partner?

    To learn more about Dr. Kerner, check out his website at iankerner.com

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 51 min
    How To Have Great Sex For Your Entire Life

    How To Have Great Sex For Your Entire Life

    People have a tendency to think that the best sex of their life is in the past—it’s the sex they had when they were younger. So when people think about what their sex lives will look like in the future, they don’t necessarily see themselves as having much to look forward to. However, this line of thinking is all wrong. Sex can—and often does—get better with age. So what do you need to know when it comes to having great sex for your entire life?

    For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with author Tracey Cox. Tracey has been writing about sex for 30 years and has published 16 books, with her latest being Great Sex Starts at 50.

    We talk about how to cultivate good habits in the bedroom to keep your sex life hot for decades to come. We also address common sexual issues that arise and how to deal with them effectively.

    Specific topics we cover include: How can sex get even better as we get older? How do you start conversations about sex with your partner—and keep them going over time? Why should we stop thinking about orgasm as the ultimate goal of sex? How do you deal with body image issues that negatively impact your sex life? How do you get the spark back in your relationship when passion declines? Why is monogamy harder on women’s libido than it is on men’s? How do you deal with common sexual problems that arise with age (e.g., vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction)? How can using sex toys transform your sex life? How do you deal with a sexless marriage or relationship?

    To learn more about Tracey, check out her website at traceycox.com

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 51 min
    The Guide to Casual Sex and Healthy Hookups

    The Guide to Casual Sex and Healthy Hookups

    Much has been said and written in the popular media about ‘hookup culture’ and the rise of casual sex. Trend pieces often portray casual sex as inherently damaging and bad for our mental health. But is this actually the case? How does casual sex really affect us? And what do you need to know when it comes to having good casual sex?

    For this episode, I sat down with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She currently teaches human sexuality courses at New York University and also runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them based on science. In the first half of the program, we talk about Zhana’s research on casual sex, and in the second half, we discuss monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, and everything in between.

    Topics we cover include: What does it mean to have ‘casual sex’ anyway? What are the different forms it can take? How many people are having casual sex, and is this increasing or decreasing? How does casual sex affect us, for better or for worse? Is casual sex really as ‘casual’ as the name implies, or are people looking for more than just sex? How can people have better casual sex? How do you know whether monogamy or non-monogamy is right for you? When and for whom is it a good idea to consider opening up a relationship? If you’re thinking about opening up your relationship or exploring the world of consensual non-monogamy, what do you need to know to start out on the right foot?

    To learn more about Zhana and her work, visit her website: drzhana.com

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 58 min
    Inside a Strip Club With a Cultural Anthropologist

    Inside a Strip Club With a Cultural Anthropologist

    For her doctoral dissertation, Dr. Katherine Frank worked as a dancer in several strip clubs and interviewed the regulars. As a student of anthropology, it was important for her to “do as the natives do” and really immerse herself in that environment to truly understand it. And what she learned is absolutely fascinating.

    For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Frank to give you an inside look at her research, what really happens inside a strip club, and what the people visiting these establishments are really looking for. In the first half of the program, we discuss her dissertation work and the book she published based on it, titled G-Strings and Sympathy: Strip Club Regulars and Male Sexual Desire. In the second half, we discuss her recent research on group sex, which she explored in the book Plays Well in Groups: A Journey Through the World of Group Sex.

    Topics we cover include: Who are the men who visit strip clubs? What are their backgrounds like, and why are they visiting these clubs in the first place? (Hint: It’s about far more than sexual arousal!) How did working in these clubs change the way that Dr. Frank views the customers? How challenging is it to do a university-approved study that involves working inside a strip club? Is it really true that ovulating strippers get more tips than women on hormonal contraceptives? Why is group sex such a popular fantasy and how many people have ever done it in real life? How does consent work in an orgy? For people interested in group sex, what do they need to know when it comes to having safe and pleasurable experiences?

    To learn more about Dr. Frank and her work, visit her website: katefrank.com

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 53 min
    Inside a Sex Research Conference

    Inside a Sex Research Conference

    What actually goes on at a sex research conference? A lot of people seem to have the impression that it’s just a non-stop sex party. I hate to disappoint, but that’s not the case! I’m going lift the curtain and tell you what really goes on when a group of sex researchers get together.

    For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Shayna Skakoon-Sparling. Shayna is a postdoctoral fellow at Ryerson University who studies sexual health decision-making and sexual negotiation. Shayna and I have been going to sex research conferences together for years and, in this episode, we give you a behind the scenes look at what these events are really like. We also discuss Shayna’s research on how sexual arousal affects the kinds of decisions that people make, sexually and otherwise.

    Topics we cover include: What is a meeting of sex researchers really like? How are the sex lives of sex researchers similar to or different from the general population? What kinds of things will you hear about at a sex research conference that you won’t hear anywhere else? What are some of the most fascinating things we’ve learned by going to these conferences? How does sexual arousal affect sexual (and non-sexual) decision making? How do you stimulate sexual arousal in a research lab anyway? How does a partner’s level of physical attractiveness affect people’s willingness to use (or not use) condoms?

    To learn more about Shayna and her work, follow her on Twitter @shaynagram and visit her website: https://sites.google.com/site/shaynaskakoonsparling

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 54 min
    A Sex Writer's Journey Into the Heart of Desire

    A Sex Writer's Journey Into the Heart of Desire

    What really takes place behind the scenes on an adult film set? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? Journalist Tracy-Clark Flory has the answers. In her lengthy career covering the sex beat in the popular media, she’s gone where few of us have gone before—and she’s learned a lot about the state of our current sexual culture.

    For this episode of the podcast, I sat down with Tracy to talk about her new memoir, titled Want Me: A Sex Writer’s Journey Into the Heart of Desire. Tracy is a senior staff writer at Jezebel and her writings on sex have been published all over in the media.

    Topics we cover in this episode include: How did being a sex writer influence the relationship Tracy had with her parents? What was the experience of finding her father’s porn like as a teenage girl? And how do boys and girls differ in their emotional reactions to finding a parent’s porn? What has the public reaction been to Tracy sharing the most intimate details of her sex life in her writings, and how has this changed over time? How can women navigate the complex mixed-messages our culture provides around women and sex? What really happens behind the scenes on a porn set? What kinds of things do people tend to get wrong about how porn actually works? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? How has being a sex writer affected Tracy’s own sex life and relationships?

    To learn more about Tracy, visit her website: https://tracyclarkflory.com

    Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @JustinLehmiller or Instagram @JustinJLehmiller. To stay up-to-date on the latest sex research and tips, check out https://sexandpsychology.com

    • 50 min

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