Master Your Marriage

Sharla and Robert Snow
  • 0.0 (0)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity. This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic. Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work." No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope! Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    “I Don’t Feel Safe” – What It Really Means and How the Couple Bubble Fixes It (Part 3 of the Secure-Relationship Series)

    She says, “I don’t feel safe.” He hears the words… but doesn’t know what they actually mean in her nervous system. In this episode we finally explain what that sentence really means, why it shows up even in good relationships, and exactly how to build the “couple bubble” — the invisible forcefield that makes her (and him) feel safe again, even when life gets hard. We also talk about why principles beat rules every time, and we give you powerful journaling prompts so you can start creating your own guarantees of safety this week. This is the episode that turns understanding into something you can both feel in your body. Key Takeaways “I don’t feel safe” is rarely about the relationship being unsafe — it’s about the nervous system no longer feeling regulated by your partner.The couple bubble is the practical way you turn safety from a concept into a felt experience.Principles (chosen because they’re good and right for you personally) outlast rules (followed only out of fear or consequences).Both partners must be able to defend a principle selfishly for themselves first — otherwise it’s just a stick, not a carrot.The bubble is a pact: we agree to do things for each other that no one else would be willing to do. Your Homework – Do This Week Part 1 – Journal privately (10–15 minutes each) What guarantees would you like to receive from your partner inside the bubble? (Be specific. What would make you feel truly safe, even on your worst day?)What guarantees would you like to give your partner? (What are you willing to promise, for your own reasons, because it aligns with the person you want to be?)What principles do you already live by in your personal life (outside the relationship) that you would love to bring into your couple bubble?Looking back, where has your bubble felt leaky in the past? What principle could have protected it? Part 2 – Talk together (no phones, no distractions) Share what you wrote. Listen with curiosity. No defending or fixing. Ask each other: “Why would this principle be good and right for you personally — even if I weren’t in the picture?” That conversation itself starts building the bubble. Resources Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin – the book that introduced the couple bubble conceptIn Each Other’s Care by Stan Tatkin – his newest, most practical guide to turning these ideas into daily habits Full list of Stan Tatkin’s Ten Commandments HERE Next Week How to predict and plan for the mistakes we all make — and set up guardrails that protect the bubble when life gets messy. Rate and Review If this episode finally helped you understand what “I don’t feel safe” really means, please follow, leave us a 5-star rating...

    20 min

  2. 4 FEB

    The Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 Secure-Relationship Series)

    Episode TitleThe Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 of the Secure-Relationship Series) Episode DescriptionMost of what we do in relationships is on autopilot—shaped by how we were cared for (or not) as kids. In this episode, Sharla and Robert unpack the three main attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant), share eye-opening childhood reflection questions, real-life couple stories, and checklists to help you identify yourself. You’ll finally understand why you chase, why they pull away, and how to stop using labels as weapons—so you can actually build the safety and closeness you both crave. Key TakeawaysYour attachment style isn’t a flaw—it’s an adaptation from childhood.Never weaponize labels (“You’re so avoidant!”). Use them for compassion only.Secure relationships require: safety first, equal power, and the relationship that come first.The path to more security = Acceptance of who you both are + owning your impact.You can’t force change in your partner. You create it through consistent safety. Quick Attachment Style Checklists (from the episode)Secure I enjoy closeness but am also comfortable alone. Disagreements don’t shake me. I trust easily. Avoidant I recharge best alone. Closeness can feel smothering. I downplay emotions. Anxious I worry my partner will leave. I need frequent reassurance. Small things feel like big threats. Resources for Deeper LearningMust-Read Books Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller → The book that brought attachment theory into everyday relationships.Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin → Deep dive into how your partner’s brain works and how to create real security together.The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller → Excellent for understanding how early wounds show up now and how to heal them.Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson → Seven conversations that can transform your relationship (Emotionally Focused Therapy classic). Next WeekWe start building that “invisible forcefield” around your relationship—specific tools to create safety and security even when your attachment styles clash. Call to Action!If this episode gave you an “aha!” moment, please leave us a 5-star rating and quick review—it really helps other couples find the show. Share this episode with your partner or a friend who’s stuck in the chase-pullaway cycle. And subscribe so you don’t miss Part 3! Thanks for listening — and remember: put each other first this week. The small things, done often, really do change everything. ❤️

    39 min

  3. 28 JAN

    Why Secure Functioning Relationships Are a Necessity (Part One Secure-Relationship Series)

    In the premiere of our new series on Secure Functioning Relationships, we dive into why these partnerships are essential in today's chaotic world. Drawing from attachment theory and the work of Stan Tatkin, we explore how secure bonds act as our ultimate source of safety, happiness, and health—serving as a natural antidote to stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Through personal stories from the COVID pandemic and everyday adventures, discover how threats can either unite or divide couples, and learn the foundational signs of a secure-functioning relationship: being true allies, equal shareholders, and prioritizing your union above all. Whether you're navigating fears, tribalism, or post-pandemic PTSD, this episode lays the groundwork for building a resilient "home base" with your partner. Join us weekly for practical steps to create lasting security in your marriage. Key Topics Covered:The global need for secure relationships amid existential and everyday threatsBenefits of secure functioning: Better mental health, longevity, and stress reductionContrasts with insecure attachments and their health impactsReal-life examples of handling crises as a teamCore principles: Safety at all times, shared power, and putting the relationship first Subscribe to Master Your Marriage for the full series—next up, actionable strategies to get there. Perfect for couples seeking deeper connection and resilience. Connect with us: https://masteryourmarriage.us/ or through social media @masteryourmarriage

    28 min

  4. 14 JAN

    National Quitter’s Day: Why Your Relationship Goals Fail (And 3 Tweaks to Make Them Stick)

    In this episode, Robert and Sharla dive into National Quitter’s Day—the second Friday in January when most New Year's resolutions start to fizzle out. Inspired by data from the fitness app Strava, they explore why goals fail, with a special focus on relationship goals like regular date nights or weekly check-ins. The problem isn't you; it's the plan! They break down three major culprits: goals not aligning with your unconscious values, focusing on outcomes instead of building systems through daily rituals, and failing to prepare for inevitable obstacles. Key highlights include: A personal story from Sharla about how a health scare shifted her values and made motivation effortless.Real-life examples of couples infusing laughter into check-ins to make goals stick.The power of "rituals of connection" for compounding small actions into big relationship wins.An introduction to the WOOP technique (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) for turning wishes into actionable strategies. Whether you're feeling the Quitter’s Day slump or just want to level up your partnership, this episode offers practical tweaks to realign, rebuild, and resilience-proof your goals. Remember: It's the small things done often that make the greatest impact. Grab our Values Guidebook from the store to uncover your core values and supercharge your motivation. Drop your thoughts in the comments or DM us—what relationship goal are you tweaking today? Follow us for more on building stronger connections. Thanks for listening!

    22 min

  5. 8 JAN

    What Needs to Die in Your Marriage? Bold Questions for a New Year

    In this episode of "Master Your Marriage," hosts Robert and Sharla Snow challenge the trending notion that January is solely for hibernation and survival mode. While acknowledging the appeal of rest and cozy winter vibes, they argue that growth in your relationship isn't confined to a calendar date—it's a daily choice. Robert and Sharla introduce a fresh framework for setting intentions in your marriage: subtraction, growth, and protection. They adapt three powerful questions to help couples build stronger partnerships: What Has to Die in Your Marriage? Explore limiting beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that are holding you back, like avoiding tough conversations, constant phone distractions, holding grudges, micromanaging, or assuming your partner's needs without asking. The hosts share personal examples and encourage listeners to identify and release these weights.What Has to Grow in Your Marriage? Identify neglected areas (like intimacy or shared adventures) and double down on what's working well (such as weekly check-ins). Robert and Sharla discuss nurturing ambition and direct communication for deeper connection.What Has to Be Protected in Your Marriage? Guard the rhythms, habits, and elements that already strengthen your bond, like trust, quality time, and healthy boundaries. Whether it's January or July, this episode offers actionable insights for intentional relationship growth. Grab your journal, reflect with your partner, and prioritize 1-2 items per question. Share your takeaways with us on social media or in an email! Key Topics Discussed: Trending winter "hibernation" mindset vs. embracing growth anytimeThe pitfalls of endless addition in goal-settingPersonal reflections on limiting beliefs and habitsPractical examples of toxic behaviors to eliminateStrategies for amplifying strengths and protecting what's goodJournaling exercise for couples Connect with Us: Follow @MasterYourMarriage on Instagram, and FacebookEmail your stories: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com Subscribe and leave a review to support the show! This episode is perfect for couples ready to subtract the negative, grow together, and protect their love in 2026 and beyond.

    20 min

  6. 30/12/2025

    Declutter Your Marriage: 14 Toxic Beliefs to Trash in 2026

    Episode Description: Kick off 2026 by decluttering your mind and marriage! In this episode, we explore how cluttered beliefs create misery in relationships and share 14 destructive marriage myths backed by research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. Learn healthier alternatives to foster deeper connection, reduce resentment, and build a fulfilling partnership. Perfect for couples seeking healthy relationship tips, toxic belief deconstruction, and marriage advice grounded in science. Keywords: toxic marriage beliefs, declutter your marriage, healthy relationship tips 2026, Gottman marriage research, Bowen family systems theory, Schnarch intimacy advice, Harvard happiness study relationships.The 14 Destructive Beliefs & Healthier Alternatives"My spouse should make me happy / complete me." Faulty due to external locus of control leading to lower satisfaction (Australian Study). Alternative: "My spouse is a companion in my happiness—I am responsible for my own emotional well-being.""If they really loved me, they'd know what I need without me saying it." Mind-reading expectations cause conflict (Mind-Reading Study; ResearchGate PDF). Alternative: "Love includes clear, kind communication about my needs and feelings.""A happy marriage means we never fight or have conflict." Gottman's research shows 69% of issues are perpetual (Gottman Institute). Alternative: "Conflict is an opportunity to understand each other better and grow closer through repair.""My partner should change to fix our problems." Satisfaction driven by perceptions, not partner change (PNAS Study). Alternative: "I can only change myself. Leading by example often invites positive shifts in my partner.""Disparate sexual desires mean we're incompatible." Normal in all relationships per Schnarch's "sexual crucible" (Crucible Institute; Psychology Today). Alternative: "Differences in desire are normal and offer growth opportunities.""Keeping score of who does more is fair and necessary." Breeds resentment; generosity boosts satisfaction (a...

    29 min

  7. 12/12/2025

    Tolerating Discomfort: The Muscle Behind True Relationship Intimacy

    Ready to reboot your relationship? Grab our brand new workbook, "The Relationship Reboot Workbook," for practical tools to assess, reset, and strengthen your connection. Get it here In this episode, we dive into a wild Uber ride conversation that sparked a profound insight: We often don't want others' opinions—we just want our own echoed back. This leads us to explore why tolerating discomfort is the real "muscle" every couple needs to build for lasting intimacy. Forget fancy skills; it's about sitting with unease, ditching losing strategies like needing to be right, and moving through the three stages of relationships—from infatuation to power struggles to true interdependence. We share real examples, self-reflection questions, and tips on accepting influence for deeper connection. Key Takeaways - The Uber Wisdom: We crave validation over true understanding, especially in relationships. - The #1 "Skill": It's not communication—it's strengthening your ability to handle discomfort without defensiveness or shutdown. - Relationship Stages (per Terry Real): Stage 1: Love without Knowledge (infatuation bliss). Stage 2: Knowledge without Love (power struggles and losing strategies). Stage 3: Love with Knowledge (interdependence and real intimacy). - Losing Strategies to Avoid: Needing to be right, control, retaliation, withdrawal. - The Opposite: Accepting Influence: Hold opposing ideas (à la F. Scott Fitzgerald), treat info as data, and stay flexible. - Self-Reflection Questions: Use these to spot your patterns and grow. Resources Mentioned: "The Relationship Reboot Workbook," for practical tools to assess, reset, and strengthen your connection. Get it here "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship" by Terry Real: A must-read for navigating power struggles and building interdependence. Available on Amazon. Connect with Us Visit our website: (https://masteryourmarriage.us/)Follow us on Instagram: (https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage)Join us on Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/) If this episode resonated, please leave a 5-star review, share it with a friend, and remember: It's the small things, done often, that create the biggest impact.

    29 min

  8. 02/12/2025

    Gratitude in Marriage + A New Ritual

    Special Announcement: 50% Off! Use code word "ALIGN" at checkout HERE. This virtual event is packed with interactive exercises, a new and updated workbook, live coach, and a Q&A session, to get all your questions answered and to help you align your core values and strengthen your marriage in 2026. Whether you're a newlywed or a long-time couple, you'll gain actionable tools for better communication, trust, and intimacy. Plus, podcast listeners get an exclusive 50% off with code "ALIGN" – but hurry, spots are limited and the summit is this weekend! https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/annual-marriage-values-summit-virtual Episode Summary: In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the profound impact of gratitude on relationships, emphasizing its ability to enhance emotional connections and overall well-being. We discuss the psychological, physical, and relational benefits of practicing gratitude, and provide actionable steps for couples to incorporate gratitude into their daily lives. We also share our 30-day gratitude challenge designed to foster appreciation and strengthen bonds between partners. Takeaways: Gratitude rewires your brain and regulates your nervous system. Practicing gratitude can deepen your connection with your partner. Gratitude is often overlooked in relationships due to everyday distractions. Expressing gratitude can help shift focus from self to others. Gratitude has psychological benefits, including reduced depression and anxiety. It improves physical health by enhancing sleep and reducing stress. Gratitude fosters forgiveness and kindness in relationships. Consistent gratitude can protect marriages from stress and conflict. Effective gratitude expression involves recognizing your partner's qualities. A 30-day gratitude challenge can significantly enhance relationship closeness. Connect with Us: Email: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas. Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor. Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.

    21 min
See All (147)

Trailer

About

The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity. This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic. Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work." No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope! Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.

Information

  • Creator
    Sharla and Robert Snow
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    147
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Sharla and Robert Snow
  • Show Website
    Master Your Marriage

You Might Also Like