Cancer

Stoner Astrological Horoscope
  • 4.3 (6)
  • SPIRITUALITY
Cancer Podcast

Water Sign – The Crab – June 21 – July 22 Stoner Cancers are exactly like their symbol the crab: A hard outer shell protects a soft inner soul. These protective creatures find themselves puff puff passing amongst close cannabis companions more so than large smoke circles. But their favorite smoke spot is a soft warm private sanctuary. The well balanced nature of the stoner Cancer leaves all sacred strain possibilities wide open. However, the stoner crab has a higher proclivity for food and baked treats. A deep dive with an edible in comfortable space is heaven to the stoner Cancer. These stoner crabs are also more likely to find connectivity with their third eye through meditative smoke sessions. The mystical magic of the sacred herb can be honed and amplified by this stoner star sign.

  1. 05/29/2022

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope June

    Stoner Cancer, this month, don’t worry about what your fellow cannabis companions are doing. This June is all about marching to the beat of your own drum, and about the trails that you choose to blaze.  This doesn’t mean that all of your traveling and smoke sessions have to be solo. Afterall, there are few things better than soaking up the Sun, sparking up that sweet sinsemilla, and hitting the open road with your closest cannabis companions. Your self-reliance and inward focus simply mean that on your many endo-excursions, you don’t have to be a passenger. It’s your time to take the wheel, my chronic-loving stoner Cancer. You are known for being the kind, caring, and thoughtful Crab. The one who, whether good or bad, can’t help but to take everyone else’s feelings into consideration. It might take a few days to get used to, and more than a couple meditative bowls, but right now you need to put your needs first. Self-care will be even more crucial as we transition into Cancer season at the end of the month. You are already one of the signs of the stoner Zodiac most in touch with their emotions. But, if you don’t toke time to find your center early in June, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed by sudden surges of the feels. Stoner Cancer, while some will say Indica can leave you stuck ‘in the couch,’ this relaxing and grounding cannabis species will be the go-to strains for the first Summer month. This season, the Sun is sure to provide you with an endless supply of energy, and Sativa dominant strains might leave you feeling more scatter-brained than inspired.  Just remember that whether or not you choose more grounding kinds of green this month, the most important thing is that you choose to DO YOU stoner Crab!

    4 min

  2. 04/29/2022

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope May

    Stoner Cancer, the days are getting longer, and the temperatures are heating up as Summer draws closer. So why does it still feel like gray clouds are hanging heavy overhead, and spring showers will never end? Look around you stoner Cancer. If the sun’s out, and the skies are clear, but you still find yourself feeling hazy or blue, you may want to turn your focus from upward to inward. Maybe you haven’t been able to fully shake off the melancholy that marred the Winter months. Perhaps grinding day-in and day-out has left you feeling more like a cog stuck in the corporate machine, and less like your usual chronic-loving Crabby self. The universe is not conspiring to harsh your high stoner Cancer.  It will be up to you, with a little help from some sacred healing herbs, to get your groove back. In the early days of the month, take a step back and toke time to light up, rise up, and look at your situation from an elevated perspective.  Remember my contemplative Crab, meditation can be manifested in many forms. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hide away in a silent smoke-filled room, reflecting on past failures or resolving to do better in the future.  Of course, you can choose to fire up a bowl of the greenest ganja, and pursue your peace by yourself. But you can also find your state of Zen on a Saturday afternoon spent with your cannabis companions hiking to your favorite smoke spot.  Stoner Cancer, just know that you hold the key to making the most of May. Learn to light up and let go of whatever might be weighing you down, and your spirits will continue to rise with the temperature the whole month through.

    4 min

  3. 03/30/2022

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope April

    Stoner Cancer, there will be almost nothing you will have to be crabby about this April. The flowers are budding, the days are getting longer, and your attitude is on the rise. As long as you keep your stash jars at equally high levels, the forecast is looking up. The cosmic haze that hung over the first few months of 2022 has lifted, leaving nothing but bright skies and wide-open roads. Just remember that while the path ahead may be clear stoner Cancer, it will be up to you as to how far you wander. After a cool winter spent cooped-up inside, toking Indica on the couch, it’s time to switch to more stimulating Sativa cannabis strains, and take your smoke sessions outside!  Nothing says Spring-is-here like hitting up your best buds to cloud-up your favorite outdoor smoke spots. My chronic-loving Crab, whenever the weather allows, you should be enjoying your nugs out in Nature.  Puffing tree among the trees. It may not be warm enough for extended getaways, but it’s definitely a good opportunity to do some reconnaissance for future endo-excursions. Now is the perfect time to map out the paths you want to blaze during the coming months. And although we’re not in full summertime adventure mode quite yet, a few dank-filled day trips will hold you over in the meantime. My confident stoner Crab, it has been a while since you’ve felt this level of high spirit.  Be courageous and ready to conquer whatever the cosmos has in store. This month, breathe deep the invigorating vapors of the sweet sinsemilla, and let it lift you even higher. Regardless of how slow or low the year has felt so far, know that this season, nothing can bring you down!

    4 min

  4. 02/27/2022

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope March

    Stoner Cancer, at this point, you may be feeling a bit jealous of some of the other signs in the stoner Zodiac. Maybe you are a little annoyed at having watched some of your peers start the year with a meteoric rise, while you seemed to find yourself stuck on the launch pad. Well buckle up stoner Cancer, and prepare for takeoff, because this month it’s all systems go! While you saw those in your sphere blast off and blaze bright at first, they didn’t do a very good job pacing themselves for the long haul. Now, you are seeing those same cannabis cosmonauts crashing back down to earth, out of gas, and low on green energy.  And it’s only March. This month, light up and breathe easy my contemplative Crab; the days you spent at a slow burn will start to pay off. Those days when you thought you were falling behind, were really about preparing your cosmic space suit for the many terrestrial travels ahead.  By rationing your reefer and energy over the past couple months, you have built up your reserves and ensured you will have enough of both to make this Spring one of the most happening and haziest ever. Stoner Cancer, avoid making the same mistakes as your cannabis companions whose endo-adventures ended prematurely. In other words:  Slow your roll. Keep your eye on your destination, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Toke the scenic route stoner Cancer. Feel the wind on your face, and those sweet sacred vapors in your lungs, as you make pit stops at your favorite smoke spots. Stoner Cancer, you may feel like you’re finally getting your cosmic groove back. Just be sure to keep it moving at a sustainable pace, otherwise you risk running out of steam before you get to the hot and happy days of summer.

    4 min

  5. 01/28/2022

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope February

    Stoner Cancer, last month the goal was to smoke the high grade and keep it lowkey. It was about finding your way along the mellow middle path through consistent medicated meditation; it was a time to toke it slow and allow yourself the headspace needed to philosophize and plan out where you want to go next. Many of these were solo smoke sessions, or limited only to your closest cannabis companions. Now it’s time to get back out there to share those great greens and good vibes with more of your fellow tokin' terrestrials.  But, as you expand your smoke session this February, be mindful that not everyone can be expected to be in such a zenful state of mind, my calm and collected Crab. So, stoner Cancer, it is a good time to get out the peace pipe and give it a good deep cleaning…you will need it this month. The good news is that new dramas aren’t a part of the month’s forecast. Instead, unresolved tensions and hurt feelings can resurface as people hangout and hotbox with those they haven’t seen in a while.  When the conversation stalls or gets a little heated, just let go and let the sacred herb guide the communications forward. After everyone shares a few bowls, the room might be a little hazy, but you will be able to see others’ perspectives more clearly. Stoner Cancer, it’s not about who is right or who was wronged. It’s about listening to each other, lighting up together, and helping everyone to meet on a higher and healthier level. After-all, especially when it comes to spending time toking and talking with our partners-in-chronic, good ganja is something we can all agree upon.

    4 min

  6. 12/30/2021

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope January

    Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner. This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions.  You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll.  Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style. Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed. It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.

    5 min

  7. 11/29/2021

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope December

    Stoner Cancer, you may be ready to load the bong, sit on the couch, and say good riddance to the crazy and hazy days of 2021.  Unfortunately, my chronic-loving Crab, you still have a few more weeks to go before you can embrace the new beginnings of a new year. For now, while you shouldn’t expect every challenge to recede, you can expect for the stars to align in your favor.  You will truly be able to slow your roll this December. If you were to answer honestly stoner Cancer, would you even want an uneventful ending to such a wild year? Probably not.  Don’t worry my stoner Crab, you definitely won’t have time to get bored. Whether it’s puffing and passing the time in your stoney sanctuary, or grabbing your reliable daily driver to brave the cool winter days in search of the perfect snowy smoke spot, your partners-in-chronic are sure to keep you moving. Stoner Cancer, although the temperature outside might be cold, you can expect your romantic prospects to heat up. Maybe you just discovered your longtime crush is Four-Twenty friendly, and you are finally ready to pack a bowl for two. You may meet your future cannabis companion at the social smoke session you almost passed on. And of course, you may just be feeling yourself this month, and simply choose to enjoy talking and toking with some good buds. The point is to keep your eyes and mind open. Romance and relationship building don’t have to be your main goal.  Just enjoy the marijuana infused moments, and be ready to light-up and leap-in when cupid does find you. Stoner Cancer, if you want to make the most of the fresh start the New Year offers, then don’t leave projects unfinished, or bring unresolved baggage with you as you begin the next chapter of your story. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it will be even more important to toke time to unwind and unplug. Meditating with the sacred herb will allow you the peace needed to reflect on where you’ve been, and to look forward to what happens next in your stoney saga. The New Year will be here soon enough, my caring Crab. But for now, you should be proud of how far you’ve come this year, and confident that in 2022, the sky will truly be the limit. Tweet

    5 min

  8. 10/31/2021

    Cancer Stoner Horoscope November

    Stoner Cancer, you are accustomed to processing the intense emotions that arise as you navigate the unstable streams of the cosmos during the times of tumultuous tides. But, there are many of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts who may easily become overwhelmed when the waters get too rough. It’s been quite a wild ride so far this year, and you might be eager to say goodbye to 2021; but be cautioned my chronic-loving Crab:  There are still a few more weeks of chaotic currents ahead, before you get to spark up that final bowl of the year. In the meantime, you will serve as a beacon of light to the weary canna-fam as they traverse the uncertain times ahead. Stoner Cancer, you are uniquely positioned to help your cannabis companions stay afloat amongst swelling waves; to offer a place of refuge from the cosmic winds; to be the safe, calm eye within the swirling storm. You can’t always control the chaos stoner Cancer, but during this season, you can breathe easy at the thought that you will at least have control over the happenings in your home. YOU get to curate the atmosphere and setting where good vibes and kind buds abound. You don’t have to welcome everyone into your smoke circle stoner Cancer.  However, open up your stoney sanctuary to those most in need.  Be welcoming to the worn down terrestrial travelers who need to rest, recreate, and recharge their cosmic spacesuit.  A shared bowl can mean so much in turbulent times. However, it is important to set boundaries, and to know your limits.  If your stash jar is being drained faster than usual, be on the lookout for the stoner mooch who is always down to pack a bowl, but never seems to contribute to the communal supply. Sharing is caring my sweet stoner Crab, but make sure that the giving goes both ways.  In the end, the motive is love and empathy; but be protected from unappreciated cannabis consumption. Stoner Cancer, it’s not that you are one who seeks out chaos. But, where others see a challenging obstacle, you see an opportunity to overcome. You are the one who, with or without herbal inspiration, always looks to achieve a higher perspective. This November you will have the opportunity to answer your truest calling.  Fulfill the role of Ganja Guru. Light up and rise up, your fellow cannabis companions will need your optimistic outlook! Tweet

    6 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.3
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Water Sign – The Crab – June 21 – July 22 Stoner Cancers are exactly like their symbol the crab: A hard outer shell protects a soft inner soul. These protective creatures find themselves puff puff passing amongst close cannabis companions more so than large smoke circles. But their favorite smoke spot is a soft warm private sanctuary. The well balanced nature of the stoner Cancer leaves all sacred strain possibilities wide open. However, the stoner crab has a higher proclivity for food and baked treats. A deep dive with an edible in comfortable space is heaven to the stoner Cancer. These stoner crabs are also more likely to find connectivity with their third eye through meditative smoke sessions. The mystical magic of the sacred herb can be honed and amplified by this stoner star sign.

Information

  • Creator
    Stoner Astrological Horoscope
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2022
  • Episodes
    63
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2021 Stoner Astrological Horoscope
  • Show Website
    Cancer

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