Lately I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep your attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing is a brief story of pivotal moment, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. I shared an epic story in episode 446 about a crazy adventure that happened just over 20 years ago when my husband broke his leg about 2 miles from a trailhead on a remote mountain in Montana, and I got our 2 boys, then 4 & 6, my husband, and our two dogs off the mountain and to the emergency room. I've often said that your stories don't have to be epic, they need to be meaningful. My point is that everyday moments of joy, grief, and humor, can be far more relatable than the "I almost died" or celebrity sighting stories. But there is a time and a place for an epic story, for the entertainment value, and for the long tail it generates of meaningful moments in the days, months, and years afterward. The lessons you learned, the evidence of resilience you carry, and the relationships that grew and changed as a result of that epic experience. In episode 447 I shared the story of how my friend Stephanie showed up for me in an unexpected and powerful way, and what I learned from her support about receiving and community-building. Today's story is another related one, and takes place many years later. I was on my way back from a hike with my dog and nodded a greeting to a woman walking up the trail with a variety of small and medium dogs. We smiled at each other as our dogs had a very polite "meet and greet". When I asked about her fur babies, there was a catch in her voice as she said: "These two were my mother's. She passed away two weeks ago." I couldn't see her eyes, we were both wearing sunglasses, but I could feel her grief coming in waves between us. I walked toward her, arms open, and she stepped forward so I could hug her – hard. She sobbed and I held space for her grief. When we separated, she told me about her mom's death and about her mom's life. There was humor laced in with the grief and I was there for all of it. Fully present and leaning in. What the woman didn't know (and I'll never tell her) is that I was experiencing significant grief, too. I had lost my father recently and was still struggling with that grief. We continue to run into each other once in a while, but not often, and just a few months ago I saw her with her partner and dogs on the trail. She said: "Hey there! You know… I still tell the story of how we met, and I still call you my Trail Angel." She hugged me before we went our separate ways. There was a time when it was a real challenge for me to receive – to accept help – and even harder to ask for it. But in the months following my husband's accident I learned a lot about receiving with grace and gratitude. It's taken me a lot longer to learn how to receive with the vulnerability that connects us even more deeply. What I've learned is that when we practice receiving, when we learn to take inventory about our needs and know who to ask for help, support, and encouragement, we become much better at giving, too. I was able to hold space for this stranger because I have received that gift over and over again. It was the months after my epic story of getting my family off a mountain that taught me some of my most important lessons about community. We can't build a strong, meaningful, and sustainable community if we don't allow and encourage others to contribute. And community doesn't happen by accident. We build community when we step out of our comfort zone to say hello to our neighbors, invite them for a coffee or a meal, and learn what kind of giving lights them up. We build community by receiving with grace, gratitude, and vulnerability. It's not easy for most people, especially in the years following the pandemic's social restrictions. But if we don't model community-making for our kids, friends, and neighbors, we will continue to experience loneliness, isolation, and division. I couldn't be more grateful for my community and the early lessons that helped me build it. Knowing I'm surrounded by people who care deeply about me and my family, people who have a variety of skills and abilities that serve a variety of needs – that's what gives me the ability to give when I'm also grieving. Listeners, now it's your turn: What story can you share about a time when a person showed up for you in a meaningful and maybe unexpected way? Did my story remind you of an experience when you had an opportunity to show up for someone when you were going through a rough time, too? Can you share a story of showing up for someone without it sounding like you're bragging or patting yourself on the back? Did you hear how I shared my story to include other characters, developed the story with small details, and shared how it made me feel at the end? I hope you'll collect your stories, practice them, and know when it's time to share so you can connect more deeply and to allow another person to learn from them. As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. If you're curious to learn about working with me, visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening. Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
