Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

Peter Alsop
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Humor, wisdom & commentary by Peter Alsop on his award winning songs and stories; some for kids & families, some for teens and adults! peteralsop.substack.com

  1. May 17

    Making Ebenezer

    EBENEZER’S MAKE OVER A Feature-length Musical Video by Peter Alsop Suitable for: Gender & Women’s Studies • Social Work • Psychology • Counseling • Literature • Human Services • Ethics • Theatre • Political Science My audiences told me, “This will help save the world!” They said, “You have to get this video to as many people as possible!” “Okay,” I said, “Here we go!” In 2003 there were bunches of ‘make over’ themed television shows. ‘Queer-eye For The Straight Guy’ was one I found particularly delightful. Four or five gay men would descend on a heterosexual man who had agreed to have his life restructured. With their aid and advice, by the end of the show, … he was transformed! He wasn’t exactly gay, but he was happy! After watching the show, I remembered Charles Dickens’ classic story, ‘A Christmas Carol’, and realized it was basically a ‘make over’ story about Ebenezer Scrooge! One day he was a greedy old man who “Bah-humbugged!” the idea of Christmas at every opportunity, … and the next day, after being visited by three Spirits in the night, he had become delightfully cheery and generous, with the ‘milk of human kindness, running by the quart in every vein!’ My next thought was, “There are so many men these days who could use a ‘make over’, … about their sexism, patriarchy, racism, capitalism, religion and general self-centeredness!” A year later, in 2004 I released a musical CD called ‘Ebenezer’s Make Over’ using Dickens’ structure in the form of a radio show. I replaced the original themes of greed and generosity with a sharp, humane, and often hilarious examination of sexism, gender socialization, patriarchy and what happens to everyone when men don’t change. I used actors from our local theater company, the Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, and folded the story around amazing songs by my many wonderful feminist songwriter friends, Holly Near, Geof Morgan and Charlie Murphy to name a few. Holly Near & Peter Alsop. Geof Morgan Now we jump ahead twenty years or so, and I was upset about the ultra-conservative, sexist, racist dictator-type environment that was surging up in the world. I had to do something to help myself and others around me cope, and ‘Ebenezer’ popped up again and got my attention. I decided to make the story into a play, and to film it so thousands of people could watch Scrooge’s transformation, and hear the songs and think about what we might do, individually and/or collectively to turn the tide back to more ‘kind-hearted’ ways of treating each other. In the winter of 2025, I redid the script and worked with my bestie friend and musical director Greg Hilfman to pull together the actors and musicians. We had some rehearsals, never with everyone there at the same time, … and in May we performed for our live audiences with a couple of cameras. It took two months to edit. The sound was difficult as we were on an outdoor stage while the springtime tree frogs serenaded us throughout all the footage. When we finished, I realized that the benefits of the show were not going to be appreciated by standard media outlets and distributors because I wanted to make it free for everyone, … educators and thought leaders, gender & women’s studies, and basically everywhere! I also didn’t want to show this video to one person at a time, … through a ‘screen’. After CoVid, we learned how important it is for us humans to interact with each other in person, rather than just staring at our own individual screens. The most beneficial part of this project occurred when our play audience ‘broke the fourth wall’ on the stage and sang, laughed and clapped-along together with the cast and musicians. By the end of the play our little community felt like a much safer place than it did when they first took their seats. Our show was designed to build community and generate conversation, not just get applause. The Theatricum shows ended with lively talk-backs where audience members, cast, and invited guests had an open dialogue about the show’s questions. As a community, we had all experienced watching Scrooge’s transformation, and our discussions after the shows were noticeably deeper because of that sense of community and safety. When a live video audience watches this video, we encourage the teacher or facilitator to invite the video audience, their class or conference attendees or group members, to join in and sing with the people in the video. It works to make your after-show discussions much more rich and rewarding. We’re now looking for teachers or department heads from high schools, colleges or universities to facilitate and show this video as adjunct material or main curricula for Gender Studies, Men’s or Women’s Studies, in Sociology, Social Work, English, Psychology, Education, Counseling, Religion, Political Science or Theater. We will provide a free streaming link for the full video along with a ‘Facilitators Guide’ to help people facilitate their own presentation. Please send us any information about anyone you know who might be interested in showing it to their students or clients! If you’re interested, please contact Peter for more info. We also have a full Episodic Version that divides the show into 14 different short episodes, each with it’s own title. I prefer this version because it creates stopping places for people to pause and talk about what they’ve just seen. (You can get both versions for free.) Maybe after a dinner with friends, to share with each other. Maybe they just saw an idea to gently help Uncle Larry lessen his sexist behaviors at the next dinner. Maybe it allows folks to take a bathroom break, or get something to drink, or deal with kids or a phone call. If the video’s used in a full semester course that meets once a week, each episode could focus on a specific issue that Scrooge deals with in each episode. Maybe, it’s just to help people remember where they stopped, so they know where to start it up again next time! BINARY MALE BRAINS Because men live with our binary favoring brains, in a binary favoring system, when we feel stuck, there’s huge pressure to make a simple binary choice. But when we do that, we miss other more nuanced choices that can’t get in, because we’ve already decided on our simple binary choice. Sometimes, when we don’t know exactly what to do, it helps to just sit and wait to see what comes in. It’s difficult, but this is one of Scrooge’s lessons. Pay more attention to how others are feeling. Here’s my poem ‘Good News!’ about this. GOOD NEWS! Good news! Good news! It’s NOT all black and white! See it that way if you want to, but it’s NOT right! ‘Cause when we see things ‘either-or’, … or ‘friend-or-foe’, or ‘win-or-lose’ But we find no simple answers, … then we think, … “We have to choose!” It’s hard to make decisions. Us humans struggle with our lives, But it’s ‘good news’ to know, there’s always more than just two sides. That’s where it all begins! That’s where the problem starts! Men’s brains love simple choices, and we forget to use our hearts! We grab one side or the other, ‘cause there’s pressure to decide. Hey guys, … think about your mother, before you pick one side. Most mothers understand, there are lots of ways to find How we can ‘work things out’ keeping everyone in mind! Often life ‘ain’t easy’. There are ‘nuances’ we need To try to keep things peaceful, so no one has to bleed! So maybe there’s no winner, … but everyone pulls through. It’s not “my way or the highway!”, and it’s not just ‘me and you’, It’s ALL the living people, the animals and plants! Living here in ‘our community’, learning how to dance! We all feel fear and anger, but we also feel love. The ‘Good News’ is, we can choose to lift each other up And we can start on this today, if we learn to change our ways. When we begin to help each other, we’ll all see better days! Written by Peter Alsop, Copyright 2026, Moose School Music (BMI) Please DONATE - if you can! We intend for ‘Ebenezer’s Make Over’ to be FREE for anyone who would like to see it, along with a FREE really helpful ‘Facilitator’s Guide’. Hopefully you will share it with others. Any funds that come in will go to support people who show this video to their group or their class or congregation and who need help with advertising their event or to pay for a facilitator to help them guide the after-show discussion. We have also partnered with the Filmmakers Collective SF - a 501(c)3 non-profit media organization with a mission to catalyze positive change through the power of filmmaking. So your donations are tax deductible as allowed by Federal and State regulations. Please let us know if you know anyone who might find this video useful, … (we already know that it’s humorous and entertaining, … we’d love to hear how you or others you show it to, … are impacted by seeing it, so we can share those thoughts as we spread the word. Thanks! Bye for now! Peter Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. You don’t need to pay to Subscribe. You will simply get my newest posts and you can browse through all my other materials for free also. If Substack asks you to donate as a patron, … please only do so if you can afford it. Thanks so much! Enjoy. Peter For Peter Alsop’s audio posts & podcasts - SONGS TO CHEW For Peter’s albums, songbooks & dvd’s Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    3 min

  2. Mar 18

    Was St. Pat Scared?

    It’s St. Patrick’s day again! How wonderful that stories we learn growing up can change and inform us as we grow older. The Irish myth about St. Patrick, ‘ridding Ireland of all the snakes’ is a wonderful place to start this discussion. We humans have taken over most of the world by eliminating any other creatures who threaten us or our expansion. It’s ‘fear’ that drives us to completely wipe out other living species, rather than finding ways to share space with them. It’s our mostly male ‘binary ways’ of coping with an ‘all-or-nothing’ dilemma that we face. There’s too much pressure to have to choose, we don’t know what else to do, so we pick one simple answer and hang onto it, no matter what. Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was a real person who lived in the 5th century. He came to Ireland to proselytize for Christianity. One of the biggest myths about his ‘story’, is that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into the sea. The fact is that Ireland never had any snakes for St. Patrick to banish! The event that prevented snakes from living in Ireland, was actually the Ice Age that ended 10,000 years ago. When kids hear this myth, they ask, “Did he have to get rid of ALL the snakes?” I’ve learned that we can let go of our binary mandates, and not have to throw out the whole delicious story. We can hold onto parts of old stories like this. We can appreciate and celebrate with our community the stories we grew up with in our lives. And, … we can alter some of the untrue details in our stories, and add some of the important nuances we’ve learned from living through life’s hard lessons. When we’re not afraid, if we learn how to behave in less violent, more caring ways than what we learned from listening to old stories, then, … when we are afraid, we will know some healthier, more effective ways to proceed. As the song says, “we can crush all the spiders with books, y’know, but killing them’s kind of a crime, ‘cause all life is sacred!” WAS ST PAT SCARED? St. Pat drove the snakes out of Ireland A7-D-A-D Tho’ snakes are God’s creatures too G-D And they probably scared St Patrick a bit G-D And they might even frighten you E-A But getting rid of all the snakes D-A-D Won’t make your fear go away G-Bm It puts it off for awhile G-D But your fear will come back some day, some daaaay A-Bm-G Your fear will come back some day D-A-D-A7 So you go somewhere else and get frightened Maybe by spiders this time You can crush all the spiders with books, y’know But killing them’s kind of a crime. Cause all life is sacred In my heart, I know it’s true These animals just are trying their best T’stay alive like we do, we dooo To stay alive like we do. When you kill the things you’re scared of You loose what you need to explore To learn t’grow and be stronger To stop being scared like before So if you hate spiders and snakes There’s one thing that is clear If you kill ‘em or crush ‘em or chase ‘em away You never get rid of your fear, oh noooo! No, you never get rid of your fear. Those creatures are here for a reason God made ‘em and He’s no fool We can’t avoid Life’s lessons We learn that at home and in school. So don’t copy old St Patrick Who never conquered his fear God didn’t make this world for just us People living here, my dear, noooo! It’s for all the creatures here! St Patrick just felt frightened of D-A-D What us other creatures do G-Bm So give us a break! Don’t be frightened of me G-D And I won’t be frightened of you, of youuu, nooo! A-Bm-G Give us a break! Don’t be frightened of me G-D And I won’t be frightened of you! A-A7-D Written by Peter Alsop, ©Copyright 2007, Moose School Music (BMI) ‘OnGrow It At Home’ - www.peteralsop.com That story about Eve and the Serpent and the Apple is a delicious allegory with lots of hidden messages, but the reality is, … ‘If we don’t take care of our ‘Garden of Eden’, we won’t get to stay!’ Thanks for stopping by. Please share this post with anyone who might find it useful! Check out Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW audio podcast by clicking here! Or if you’d like to hear any of my albums or see my dvd’s go to: https://peteralsop.bandcamp.com To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the Subscribe button. It’s free! And you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Bye for now! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    2 min

  3. 12/01/2025

    The Hug

    This true story was made into a song by an old friend, The Reverend Fred Small. He’s a wonderful singer-songwriter, performer; an activist and pastor dedicated to healing the earth, seeking justice, and tending our wounded spirits. His song’s about a therapist named Dan Murrow, who was fired for hugging his patients. He was convinced that hugging between consenting adults was therapeutically helpful, contrary to the hospital’s policy. The story made the papers in Boston back in the late ‘70’s. I actually met Dan Murrow at one of the National Conferences on the Healing Power of Laughter and Play. Of course, we hugged each other when we met. THE HUG Dan Murrow is a mighty friendly man C Big and round like a bear F-C And he hugs his friends and his friends hug him C–D7 Anytime, anywhere G-G7 When his patients would come for therapy C To drive their blues away F Sooner or later, they’d feel a lot better C-F ‘Cause this is what he’d say, G-G7 Cho: I want a hug when we say “Hello”, C I want a hug when it’s time to go, F I want a hug, ‘cause I want you to know G That I’m awfully fond of you! G7-C I want a hug, now if you please C I want a hug, I want to feel you squeeze F I want a hug, well it certainly seems G-G7 Like the natural thing to do! G7-C Now when the Head of the hospital heard about it He got all annoyed Because hugging is ‘sexual sublimation’ According to Dr. Freud! You can beat ‘em down, you can hide ‘em away, You can keep ‘em quiet with drugs You can strap ‘em and zap ‘em with electroshock But you better not give ‘em a hug! Chorus So the boss said “Dan, clear out your desk! Your conduct is lax and lewd. Any deviation from standard medical Practice can get us sued!” Now Dan don’t feel so bad for himself In fact, he’s kind of proud But he’s sorry for the folks who are locked away Where hugging ain’t allowed! Chorus Written by Fred Small, ©Copyright 1981, Pine Barrens Music (BMI) On Fan Club Favorites and Ebenezer’s Make Over (full length feature!) peteralsop.com Human feelings are often discounted in our places of work, our institutions, our churches, mosques and temples, our hospitals, schools and universities. Our society has a very limited understanding about the powerful part that our ‘feelings’ have, as they affect our own health and sense of wellness, which in turn, impact the health and the day-to-day functioning of our organizations. Many of us who work on recovery in our personal lives, regularly see positive changes in ourselves and our families when we pay attention to what’s going on for us in the feelings department. Unfortunately, trying to live up to the many expectations we face daily, can threaten our personal sobriety! We are asked to work harder and longer than is healthy. We’re asked to be dishonest, or at least to keep our mouths shut if we see something going on that may be unjust or unfair. We’re expected to triangulate; go around certain people who might not approve of what we’re doing, so we actually practice avoiding them. In order to be accepted, we find ourselves being manipulative or overly critical of others, and we ‘smoosh down’ our more sensitive selves and our caring feelings, so we ‘don’t get accused of ‘making waves’. People like Dan Murrow say, “If I must choose between working here and being healthy, I choose health.” But when we commit to making ‘healthy choices’, we’re often the ones who get replaced, canned, fired! When we draw a line, and stop enabling, accepting and ignoring other people’s unhealthy behaviors, we create problems for an organization, because when we do that, other people feel uncomfortable. They don’t want to change their old addictive behaviors and patterns. Dan Murrow got fired because some people in the organization were uncomfortable with his behavior. Guidelines about ‘not hugging’ our patients are set up because some people with authority learn that ‘touching’ is a very potent physical practice that instantly defines and delineates who has ‘power’ to touch another person in the organization without first asking permission. And they don’t want to give that up. Ellen Bass, the co-author of ‘The Courage To Heal’ suggests that there are many needy therapists who actually do ask for inappropriate hugs from their already vulnerable patients or clients. Many people have been physically or sexually abused by someone in a more powerful position. Therapists need to take care of our own hugging needs outside of our practice. I understand that Dr. Dan Murrow would always ask patients if they would like a hug before he’d hug someone. He was interested in working to break down some of the stigma associated with ‘caring touch’ as a therapeutic aid in a trusting relationship. For those of us who lived through the 60’s and 70’s, it’s clear that the practice of hugging others has moved light years beyond where we were back then. We have also gone through having Co-Vid run rampant in our midst. There’s been a whole lot less hugging since we learned that the virus is spread through the air and through touch. Even with our heightened awareness of how Co-Vid and other infectious diseases spread, we still see people with power who touch others physically in ways that clearly demonstrate the inequities that exist between the ‘touch-ers’ and the ‘touch-ees’. It was difficult for my Dad and the men in his generation to hug other men because of the stigma of homophobia, and not wanting to appear ‘gay’. I was in my twenties and in college, and I remember knowing my Dad was uncomfortable when I hugged him, especially in public. I sort of enjoyed his ‘discomfort’ while I was holding him. He’d pat my back and try to break away, but I wouldn’t let him go. I’d say, “Dad, … that was a very short hug. Were those ‘pats on my back’ your signal that the hug was over for you?” He’d laugh, and struggle, but of course, I still wouldn’t let him go. I’d start discussing things with him. “Dad, … do you think a hug should only last a required amount of time? Or are you having homophobic concerns that one or both of us might be gay? And why are you ‘the one’ who gets to determine when we stop hugging!” He’d try to pull away, still protesting that he wasn’t homophobic, … and he’d stop, and give me a big sloppy kiss, and we’d both have a good laugh. I notice young Dads today spend lots more time holding and hugging their kids than our parents did. It’s slow, but we’re definitely moving in the right direction! Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful for someone you know. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Peter Alsop’s ‘SONGS TO CHEW’ audio podcasts! Thanks for reading Peter’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click HERE to purchase Peter’s albums: cds-dvds-movies-and-songbooks To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, or you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    4 min

  4. 11/29/2025

    I Believe You

    I BELIEVE YOU When you tell me you are scared A-F#m I will listen ‘cause I care F#m-A I remember bein’ scared too Bm-F#m So when you tell me, I believe you E-A When you’re angry or you’re sad Even if you’re feeling bad I remember feelin’ bad too So when you tell me, I believe you Maybe I can help you with an idea D-C#m Maybe I know something that’ll make things clear Bm-A Maybe I won’t know what to do D-C#m But I can be a safe place, and I believe you E-A When I was a kid, I cried Had a secret deep inside But the grown-ups could not see I thought “Something must be wrong with me” (whistling instrumental) So when you tell me you are scared I will listen ‘cause I care I remember bein’ scared too So when you tell me, I believe you. When you tell me, I believe you. When you tell me, ... I believe you. Written by Peter Alsop, ©1992, Moose School Music (BMI) On Wake-Up! dvd, Chris Moose Holidays, and Songs On Recovery & Addiction www.peteralsop.com Did you know that feelings are contagious? When someone around us feels sad, do you ever notice that you kind of feel sad too? So, we say things like, “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t feel sad!” or “Let’s go get something to eat!”. We hope to distract them, or fix their problem or cheer them up. Our goal seems to be that we want to help them, … but often, it’s because we don’t want to feel sad ourselves! Many of us grew up in families and cultures where it wasn’t okay to show or express our painful feelings in any way, so now, when we feel angry, sad or scared, it also feels embarrassing, … like we’re doing something wrong! And to avoid that, we say things like: “Cheer up!” ~ “Don’t be scared!” ~ “It’s okay, … calm down!” ~ or as a last resort, “Oh c’mon! I don’t believe THAT!” It would be great, if the next time we feel sad, scared or angry, someone would come up to us and gently say, “Wow, … you look really sad, (or scared or angry). I feel really sad too sometimes. I’ll just sit here with you if you want.” And then they don’t try to cheer us up, or calm us down or tell us what to do or that they don’t believe us. People who can do that, are people who know how to create ‘a safe space’ for others. Illustration by Terri Asher I’ve learned that in order to be a ‘safe place’ for others, we need to have our own ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’. When we actually pay attention to our feelings and become familiar with our own sadness and fears and angers, then we can be around those upset ‘contagious’ feelings from others. Building a ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’ means we learn to manage our own painful feelings, so we don’t have to ‘stop’ others or ‘shut them down’ to avoid having our own feelings triggered. We know what our sadness, anger and fear feels like, so we don’t have to be afraid if they surface in response to our empathy with other people’s strong feelings. The hardest part of learning how to be a ‘safe place’ for me, was to just ‘be present and listen’. I always want to jump in and solve their problems, instead of helping them figure out what might be best for them to do. When I can be quiet and listen, and allow them to talk, it helps them figure out their own best ways to proceed. I know that when I’m frightened, sad or angry, and I tell someone else about my strong feelings, ... it doesn’t help much when they jump in and tell me what to do, or how to feel! All it does is convince me that I don’t want to tell them about my deep feelings anymore, because they just showed me that they aren’t really a very ‘safe person’ to tell! Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful for someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, or you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    2 min

  5. 11/09/2025

    Lifeline

    LIFELINE You carried me, home in your arms G-C-D,G-C-D You loved me so much, and you kept me from harm You washed me and fed me, the years how they flew And now you need my help, and I’ll care for you! There’s a lifeline that ties me to you, Am-C-G Life rolls like a wheel through whatever we do Through all of the hard times and anger we feel G-D9-C-G The love that we have, well it helps us to heal, G-D9-Am-D Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! D-D7-G-C-D,G-C-D You’ve nowhere to go, and you don’t like to lean At the old people’s home, they’re packed in like sardines, So the baby can sleep in the crib one more year Put the kids in together, there’s room for you here! There’s a lifeline that ties me to you Overnight power runs out the holes in our shoes When the looking glass flips, there’s no wrong or right Do the best we can and hold hands in the fight Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Most of the time now, you’re clear as a bell But the body you’re using’s not working so well And I know we get crazy when our patience is gone Hey, ain’t it amazing, how we hold on, To that lifeline that ties me to you Life rolls like a wheel through whatever we do Through all of the hard times and anger we feel The love that we have, well it helps us to heal Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI) On Fan Club Favorites and Songs On Loss & Grief www.peteralsop.com Practicing the art of loving, ... can get us through some of the hardest times we have while we care for our parents. We all have losses to deal with in our lives, but older people often experience losses more frequently. Besides losing family members and friends who have died, there’s the loss of good health and vigor to deal with, ... and loss of time to accomplish dreams that were never realized. As our own children grow up and begin to go out into the world on their own, many of our parents or older relatives become needful of our help. We then face tough decisions about bringing them back into our own busy lives and home, perhaps acting as their principal caregiver. My grandmother actually did come to live with us, and it was both difficult and rewarding, as we learned how to get along with each other. In our culture older family members often live by themselves, or in a community of other older people, separate from the younger members of their own families. Many of us Americans grew up in our core nuclear family, without our grandparents in the same house. We didn’t get many real experiences or a clear understanding of how we will age ourselves later in our own lives. So, it was wonderful for my kids to have an older person in our immediate family home. My dear friend and teacher, Dr. Joseph Cruse talks about a ‘de-cathexis’, ... a letting go that happens within our families. As we children grow up, we need to let go of the expectations that our parents will continue to ‘parent’ us forever. They will always be our parents, but as we become adults and take our own power in the world, their ‘parenting’ behaviors need to transform into a more equal ‘friendship’ type of relationship between equal adults, without the power inequities that happen when children are little and parents are big. We can help to create a healthy balanced relationship with our own aging parents, when we are neither crutches nor burdens to each other. 1980 photo by Ellen Geer of Grandmother, Dad, me, Megan & Willow I hugged my grandmother often, but I realized one day, ... that it was the only touching that she received. As she depended on us more and more, I was reminded of how like a child she had become, and that little babies get a sense of themselves that is related to how, and how often other people touch them. So I started a program of fifteen-minute foot-rubs for my grandmother, and with her permission, I would turn on a recorder, massage her feet, and ask her pointed questions about her life and our family. We compiled quite an oral history, punctuated with little moans and comments about how good it felt to have some spot on her foot rubbed! She’s say, “Ooooh! That feels sooo good! Are you married?” I’d say“Grandmother! Cut that out!” I have it on tape. I know she enjoyed the foot-rubs, but she also enjoyed ‘being listened to’ and having someone take time with her, so she felt that she was loved and valued, even though she was unable to help much with the maintenance of our bustling, rushing around young family. It was fulfilling for both of us when she was able to pass on some of her life experiences to me, an interested younger relative. And I got to see some of the family patterns that had echoed down through the generations, and to understand that I was not just a man alone in the world, but also a link in the family chain. I had the privilege of working with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She is best known for her work with patients with catastrophic illnesses who were dying. She would say that, “When we can’t increase the quantity of someone’s life, we can increase the quality of it.” She told me about one patient she was working with, and Elisabeth came into her room and said, “Is there anything I can do for you today?” And the patient said, “Yes Elisabeth, there is.” And Elisabeth said “Oh! What?” And the woman said, “Go away!” Elisabeth said she went out in the other room, and she felt crushed. She had only wanted to ‘help’ this person. And she said, “Wait a minute! What’s going on here? I asked, and this woman gave me a perfectly ‘okay’ request. Why am I feeling so upset!?” And she thought for a moment and said, “I think I just learned that when I have hurt feelings like this, a little red flag goes up and says to me, ‘Elisabeth, you have some unfinished business to take care of! This person just helped you see that it’s in this area, and you need to take a look at it!” Like Elisabeth, I think there are lots of those little red flags that come up for us, … especially working in human services, or actually just working with other people who we want to help. Knowing what’s ‘my stuff’, and what’s ‘their stuff’, … is very helpful and important. Those little red flags come up all the time in our relationships, and that’s where our commitment to self-growth comes in. It helps when we are aware of the opportunities those flags provide for us, so we can say, “I’m gonna take a look at what’s going on here! Even if I have to wait until later today, I want to figure out what’s going on inside of me, because when I do, … I’m better able to be more clear with the people I’m trying to help. I can’t teach what I don’t know!” Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    6 min

  6. 11/03/2025

    You Get A Little Extra When You Watch TV

    While we think we’re just watching, we’re also being shaped by the stories and images we see. We watch how others live their lives and we see the values they hold. Our brains notice everything, even if we’re not paying much attention, and we compare what we do, with what ‘they’ do. Here’s a live concert video from 1990 when Pete Seeger invited me to join him on stage at the Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga. YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH TV. Cho: You get a little extra when you watch TV C Ain’t that ducky! Well you’re lucky if you see, that G7 You get a little extra when you watch TV! C-G7-C You sit too close and you get a big surprise Lots of radiation in your body and your eyes Your eardrums hum when someone turns it up too high, When you watch TV! We learn lots about our bodies and our aches and pains, Headaches, hemorrhoids, heartburn, diarrhea, denture stains Gotta buy more drugs t’stop your stresses and your strains When you watch TV ! Chorus When someone in an advertisement tells me lies I jump up and switch the channels, so I get some exercise And my body’s getting healthy and my mind is getting wise When I watch TV! Daddies only love the Mommies when the dirt’s all gone From their shirts and shiny floors, the coffee has t’be right on, I’m so glad my Dad’s not fussy, cause he’d leave my Mom, If he watched TV! Chorus In real life it never works when people go And hit and kick and punch and smash each other’s heads and toes But it always solves the problems on the cartoon shows When you watch TV! Last night on the highway when our car got stalled We saw a bloody accident with bodies that were mauled Though my folks got sick, it didn’t bother me at all. Cause I watch TV! Chorus Now you may think that I am lazy, don’t you call me names I’ve learned important skills from playing video games If a spaceship should attack us I could shoot ‘em down in flames, Cause I watch TV! And a big TV can really give you quite a rest If you get one near your bed, you’ve got no reason to get dressed You never have to talk to anyone, your life is a success When you watch TV! Chorus Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI) On Wha’D’Ya Wanna Do?, Songs On Recovery & Addiction, & Pie In The Sky https://www.peteralsop.com (Illustration by @TerriAsher) I wrote this song in 1983 about all the little hidden messages we get when watching television. It’s helped thousands of kids and families build awareness about how we are subtly influenced every day through our ‘media screens’. I think it’s even more relevant now than it was back then, because when we go into our ‘screen-time focus’, we check out of our ‘real-time awareness’, and we miss many of the interactions we could be having with real people and real things that are actually right there in front of us. Our ‘real time’ life-minutes tick by without us picking up on the nuances of the world around us. And, of course most of us have our own portable private screens now! When screen time becomes ‘normal’, we don’t even question that maybe we’re getting unhealthy radiation from our device. Everyone else is doing it! If taking a pill is the ‘normal’ way we stop our pain, we may embrace the message, that everything problematic in our live can be ‘fixed’ with some elusive simple answer. If I believe that I’m getting sufficient exercise simply by getting up to change channels, (although everyone nowadays has remote channel changers!), I’m unlikely to put the ‘screen’ away and go outside for a walk or a jog. You get the point. It’s very human and normal to focus on our entertainment or on how many ‘friends’ we have listed on the internet, but as we become more aware of the powerful, subtle, nowadays dishonest and manipulative cultural messages we are exposed to, … the less likely it is that we will believe those stories and take them to heart. We will tell ourselves more uplifting, hopeful stories about how we can support each other in our communities and our work places, and find courage to speak truth to power when we need to do that. That’s how we can build a better future that leaves space for love and kind-hearted caring, for ourselves, others and for all life on our planet. Thanks for stopping by, … I’m Peter Alsop. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min

  7. 10/31/2025

    Costume Party

    It’s the end of October again, and I’ve noticed scatterings of children test-driving their Halloween costumes in the super-market aisles, making sure they work! Hidden inside their new identity, they are no longer just a ‘child-in-a-supermarket’! They’ve been transformed by their costume and they want to be sure that they’re all set for the big night. It’s delicious fun to become someone or something else, isn’t it?! Costumes enable us to explore completely different realms than those we ordinarily inhabit. COSTUME PARTY Cho:It’s a costume party, and everyone is here! D-A7, D-A7-D It’s a costume party, and everyone is here! D-A7, D-A7-D You wear a blue dress, you, red sneakers A7-D You wear a suit and tie A7-D You wear flowers, you wear stripes A7-D You put make-up on your eyes! E-A7 Chorus You wear brown skin, you wear white Your head is clean and bare You poked holes through your earlobes You’ve got a wart, I bet, somewhere! Or maybe you dye your hair!? Chorus We may be blind, or we wear glasses We st-stutter when we talk Sometimes our ears just do not hear Or we use wheels when we walk! Chorus Our disguises could win prizes Each one’s qualified But the only thing that really matters Is who we are inside! Chorus (2x) Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987 Moose School Music (BMI) On Pluggin’ Away & Costume Party DVD https://www.peteralsop.com We all wear costumes. Every day, the clothing we put on is essentially our costume for the day. And when we wear different costumes, we get to see the world through different glasses, which is great! We learn so much by exploring other diverse ways to go through our lives. We build new skills and stories for ourselves when we’re exposed to new and different ideas from simply rubbing shoulders with others who are not like us. It’s true that most of what we learn comes from people around us, and the people with whom we are most familiar are, … our own families! But some of the family lessons we absorb can be very difficult to ‘change’ later on. As we get older, we discover that we need to shed some of the beliefs and behaviors we grew up with, ... in order to continue to grow. Our costumes provide us with an ‘outward appearance’ that might not fit us exactly, but that’s okay, because we need to ‘try on new things’ to see how they fit us. It’s interesting to see how our ‘costumes’ affect other people, and how they respond to what they see. The very same ‘costume’ can generate a bunch of different responses from different people. Have you noticed that when we see someone who is ‘unfamiliar’ or different than we are, most of us are very ‘curious’ about this ‘new’ person. Some of us become extra cautious, and even suspicious or fearful of other folks who look strange to us. I’m mostly curious about people who look different than I do. I have friends who pay close attention to how others look, and some of those friends constantly worry about themselves, wondering if they ‘fit in’ or are ‘approved of’ by others. They seem preoccupied with making sure that they don’t stand out as ‘different’. I have other friends who seem to feel ashamed of their appearance. They kind of hide themselves, and try to stay out of the limelight. It’s easy to forget that beneath our elaborate costumes and disguises, our covers and masks, that all of us humans feel very similar feelings; happy, sad, scared and angry. These are where we connect. These are what we have in common and where we share our vulnerabilities. And when we understand this, our external costumes become fascinating and delicious, and a cause more for curiosity than fear. Some costume features we get to choose, like our clothing, hairdo, hats, make-up or earrings. Others factors of our appearance, we’re born with, or we acquire as we live; such as our skin, scars, our hair color, our gender, our baldness, our age or any of our other visible physical differences. We usually feel more comfortable being in a group of people who look like us because we feel familiar with them. We all need to feel like we belong, so gathering ourselves into these homogeneous groups is usually fine, unless we begin to avoid other groups of people who ‘don’t look like us’. Because when we spend time with people who are different than we are, we get to know them, and our nervousness about their differences drops away, and it becomes easier for us to notice and appreciate our similarities. For those of us whose family of origin, our ‘birth family’, didn’t feel like a safe place, our fear of being rejected may be a big part of how we costume ourselves as we relate to others. I learned that we can actually choose to make our own safe place by asking some of the friends we hang with, who feel comfortable and who support us to be part of our own ‘family of choice’! Overcoming our own fear of rejection is necessary for us to break out of our isolation and start new friendships. That’s why having a Costume Party is a good idea. Especially as we learn how to be a ‘safe place’ for others, where we don’t immediately judge them. When we feel like we are in a safe place, we can all reveal ourselves to each other, instead of trying to strip away each other’s masks! Thanks for stopping by, … I’m Peter Alsop. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    4 min

  8. 10/24/2025

    Gotta Lotta Livin’ To Do

    I wrote “Gotta Lotta Livin’ To Do” in the midst of the HIV/AIDS crisis in the 1980’s, which was spreading like wildfire through the Gay community. My daughters Megan and Willow joined me when I went to perform at a California Men’s Gathering back then, ... and the men kept coming up to ‘thank me’ for coming to sing and bringing my daughters along. There was so much fear back then about contracting HIV from gay men. No one knew for certain yet, how this deadly virus was transmitted. People were terrified that they or one of their loved ones might get infected from just being near a gay man. Many folks avoided their gay friends and co-workers, which was tremendously painful for everyone! Eventually we learned the virus is transmitted from intimate physical contact. Because of our homophobic culture and administration, important governmental support for finding a cure was essentially non-existent at first. Here’s one of the songs I sang at that Gathering. GOTTA LOTTA LIVIN’ TO DO (D) I’ve got a friend with AIDS, D-G He’s just like me and you D-G I’ve got a friend with AIDS, D-G We gotta lotta livin’ to do! A-D Somedays we get sad, D-G So here is what we do, D-G, D-G We play together as much as we can D-G And I love him a lot ‘cause he’s my friend, yeah, D-G Me and my friend with AIDS, D-G Gotta lotta livin’ to do! A-D V1: What is AIDS? It’s a virus bug G-D-A-D What can you do? Well, I give’m a hug G-D-A-D You hug your friend? Sure, and he hugs me G-D-A-D But aren’t you scared? Well, I used to be A, G-D I’d be scared! Well, you’d learn alot A, D-A-D What would I learn? What’s safe, what’s not A, G-D Could I get AIDS? That’s hard to do A, D-A-D But some kids have it Yes, that’s true A, G-D Where’s the AIDS? It’s in his blood G, D-A-D What if he bleeds? We patch him up G, D-A-D Cause AIDS won’t let his blood cells fight. G-D-A-D So I shouldn’t touch his blood? Y’got that right!! A-A7 I’ve got a friend with AIDS, And someday he might die But someday, so will you, And someday so will I Somedays we get sad, So here is what we do, We play together as much as we can And I love him a lot, ‘cause he’s my friend, yeah, Me’n my friend with AIDS, We gotta lotta livin’ to do! What if he cries? We wipe his eyes You touch his tears? There’s no need for fears What about his ears? With a cotton swab You clean his ears?! No! That’s his job! What about his spit? He swallows it! What about his hair? No virus there! His breath is fine? It smells just like mine! Does he feel ashamed? No, he’s not to blame! I’ve got a friend with AIDS, And someday he might die But someday, so will you, And someday so will I. I’ll tell you what I’m thinkin’ of, When we’re afraid, we just can’t love And loving’s how I want to be, So I don’t let fear take over me! Here’s what we can do, We can play together as much as we can And I love him a lot ‘cause he’s my friend, yeah, Me and my friend with AIDS, We gotta lotta livin’ to do, Gotta lotta livin’, gotta lotta livin’, Gotta lotta livin’ to do! Written by Peter Alsop, ©1989, Moose School Music (BMI) On Peter’s ‘Pluggin’ Away’~ ‘Songs On Loss & Grief’ ~ ‘Ebenezer’s Make Over’ https://www.peteralsop.com In the late 1980’s, a wonderful woman named Elizabeth Glaser called to tell me she was a fan, and that her children, Ariel and Jake, loved my songs. I thanked her and we said good-bye with no idea that we would meet again. When she called me a few years later, she shared her ‘back story’. She had contracted HIV in a blood transfusion in 1981 while giving birth to her daughter Ariel. She and her husband, actor Paul Michael Glaser, of “Starsky and Hutch” fame, later learned that Elizabeth had unknowingly passed the virus on to Ariel through breast milk and that their son, Jake, had contracted the virus in utero. The Glasers discovered, in the course of trying to treat Ariel, that the drug companies and health agencies had no idea that HIV was prevalent among children. The only drugs on the market were for adults; nothing had been tested or approved for children. Little Ariel lost her battle with AIDS in 1988. She was 7 years old. Fearing that Jake’s life was also in danger, Elizabeth rose to action. She and her close friends, Susie Zeegen and Susan DeLaurentis formed the Pediatric Aids Foundation to raise money for pediatric HIV/AIDS research. In 1989, the Foundation held its first fundraiser and awarded its first grant for research on the immune dysfunctions in children living with HIV. Dozens more Washington trips and research grants followed, but neither the Bush nor the Reagan administrations did much of anything to help end the AIDS epidemic. I was greatly flattered when Elizabeth called to invite me to come sing at the Pediatric AIDS Fundraiser that the Disney Company was putting on at the Universal Amphitheater. Willow and I would get to meet and perform with a slew of “television and music industry celebrities”, like Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, Randy Newman, Bobby McFerrin, Ted Danson, Patti LaBelle, Woody Harrelson, Paula Abdul, Salt-N-Pepa, and the list went on! I was sure they would ask me to sing “Gotta Lotta Livin’ To Do”, because there were no other songs like it. It’s a musical way to inform kids, parents and teachers, while it helps us talk about the subject, so it’s not so scary. But when I finally spoke to the Disney Record executives, they said they didn’t want a song about AIDS! They said it was a fund-raiser for ‘AIDS research’, and they wanted me to play my song, ‘I Am A Pizza’ instead! They said “the musical content of the CD has to be non-threatening in any way, so we can sell lots of CD’s. If we’re careful not to offend or scare anyone, we can make lots of money for the Foundation!”, … which they did! I felt that their ‘caution’ was exactly the same kind of fear that was keeping the general public insulated from the devastation that was happening in the gay community, … and I was ready to tell them I wouldn’t come if they didn’t let me do that song! I suspect they would have just said “Fine with us!”, ... but instead, they explained to me that in the video portion of the show, they would be including a lot of the clear messaging and information between the songs that I thought was so important. And those messasges would be informing the audiences who saw the video about AIDS safety and caring. I struggled, but finally agreed to sing “I Am A Pizza” with Willow. If you’d like to find a link for the album, it’s called “For Our Children: the concert”, (click on the cover!) In 1994, ... Elizabeth Glaser lost her own battle with AIDS, and to honor her legacy, the Pediatric AIDS Foundation was renamed the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation (EGPAF). If you have a chance, ... click on her name to go online and check out the incredibly stirring speech she made at the 1992 Democratic Convention. It’s really worth watching. Fear runs some people’s lives, and there isn’t much space left for love when we’re full of fear. If we can get solid scientific information and keep our hearts open, we won’t feel so afraid. We won’t have to ‘stuff and cut off’ our feelings. When we run into scary painful experiences like AIDS, or CoVid, or Authoritarianism, we get a chance to stretch and grow spiritually by finding support, and learning how to walk through our fears and hold onto our loving attitude at the same time, even though we’re still afraid. There’s a lot more living and learning that most of us still have to do here. After the concert at the Theatricum with Willow, … Pete Seeger suggested that I might want to make this song a ‘sing-along’ by having the audience sing on the chorus, “Gotta lotta livin’, gotta lotta livin’, gotta lotta livin’ to dooooo!” And that’s exactly what I did! This year, 2025, … thirty-five years after that 1990 concert we did with Pete, I sang “Gotta Lotta Livin’ To Do” again on the Theatricum stage with Willow’s 10 year old son, my grandson Julius Geer-Polin! We performed in my theatrical musical play “Ebenezer’s Make Over”. The story is based on the Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol”, but it’s not about Christmas; it’s about how three ‘Spirits’ visit Ebenezer Scrooge one night and with songs and wisdom and laughter, they help him see how his patriarchal attitudes were formed and what will happen to our world if men don’t change our competitive, gender-linked behaviors. Here’s the song from the play, led off by actors Lynn Robert Berg playing ‘Scrooge’, and Gerald C. Rivers playing ‘Carroll, the Spirit of Present Time’. I finally recorded this song on my “Pluggin’ Away” album, and I asked Ry Cooder if he might be able to come by and play some slide guitar with me. He said “Sure!”, and my daughter Willow sang it with us. (Here’s a YouTube link to our studio version with Ry Cooder playing great slide guitar!) Thanks for stopping by, … I’m Peter Alsop. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publica

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Humor, wisdom & commentary by Peter Alsop on his award winning songs and stories; some for kids & families, some for teens and adults! peteralsop.substack.com

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