Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

Peter Alsop
Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

Humor, wisdom & commentary by Peter Alsop on his award winning songs and stories; some for kids & families, some for teens and adults! peteralsop.substack.com

  1. 12/19/2024

    When Jesus Was A Kid

    WHEN JESUS WAS A KID It’s Christmas time again D And the mall is really weird. Everyone gets stressed out Christmas shopping every year. D-A7 I have to stop and wonder, Looking at my Christmas list When Jesus was a kid, Would He be doing this? A7-D I know He was a baby, But did He ever cry? Did Jesus wet His diapers, Or were they always dry? Did He use a bottle Before He used a cup? Did Jesus throw things on the floor For Mary to pick up? Did Mary ever spank him? G Ahh, does the Bible say? D Did Jesus scream and holler G When things didn’t go His way? Em-A7 I know He was a baby, D But I wonder what He did When He was about, my age, A7 When Jesus was a kid? A7-D Did He have birthday parties? I like to think He might But then I have to wonder, Well, like, who did He invite? Were there other kids in bathrobes Who played tag the way we do? Was He bummed out when His birthday gifts Said “Merry Christmas” too!? Did Jesus put on sunscreen, Or did He wear a floppy hat? Living in a desert, you can sunburn, (snap!) Just like that! And He prob’ly hated eating ‘Camel milk with mushy peas’ Or can Saviors just get out of Eating gross things when They please? N’He prob’ly hoped His Dad would let Him Have a B-B gun I mean His father Joseph, You know, not the other One It’s not like it’s a war toy, Jesus wouldn’t hurt a flea. And He’d never point at anyone, He’d be as safe as me! And if His mother found it, She wouldn’t make a scene She’d NEVER hide it in the attic, No, she was NOT that mean! He wanted “Peace On Earth” And “Good Will” to kids I mean He was a kid Himself, So I’m sure He really did We fight wars and we spill oil. We mess up the sand. I bet a kid like Jesus Prob’ly wouldn’t understand He’d see us Christmas shoppers Trying hard to close our eyes To the homeless people sleeping Near expensive stuff we buy I might be wrong, But I’m a kid too, so I might be right If we asked that kid Jesus, “Is all this stuff all right? Can we buy Christmas spirit If we spend lots of dough?” Well I think that kid Jesus, Would just say “No!” Christmas isn’t about shopping, It’s about the way we care It’s thinking “What would that kid Jesus Do if He was here?” So if some kid you know, Messes up something they did, Remember, Jesus was a human too, When He was a kid Acting like a kid at Christmas, Should not be a sin So remember when we do it, We’re only acting just like Him! So this Christmas, let’s just BE NICE To each other, don’t you see? When Jesus was a kid, He was a lot like you and me! When Jesus was a kid, He needed love like you and me! Written by Peter Alsop, ©1991, Moose School Music (BMI) Illustration by Bill Buerge. Check it out on Bandcamp! The idea for this song came to me in the late ‘80s driving to San Diego to train school teachers how to use music to help kids with drug and child abuse prevention. I’d just finished a song for kids about how we can set healthy boundaries and how to just say ‘No!’, when something doesn't feel safe, or when it feels like someone is lying to us or trying to manipulate us. I happened to tune in on a conservative Christian talk show. The host was making some pretty mean-spirited comments telling us that we are all sinners. He said pretty soon Jesus was coming back again from where-ever He’d gone, … and He was really upset with us sinners! The host asked us to pray and send money to his station. He was going to count to three, and the he wanted us all together to say “Yes!” at the same time! And right at that minute I thought “If Jesus came back right now, … I’m sure He would ‘Just Say NO!’ to you! He’d set a big healthy boundary about all the shame and guilt stuff you’re handing out to everyone!” I majored in ‘Religion’ at Trinity College in Connecticut, because the world has a wide assortment of people with powerful beliefs about their religions, and I love hearing about all of them. This radio host got me thinking about what thoughts Jesus would have had about all this stuff we do every year, when he was just a kid. Maybe if we pay closer attention the kids in our lives today, ‘listen’ to them more closely instead of telling them what we think they ‘should’ do. We might rediscover our sense of holiness that seems to be missing. Being alive together here on this planet, we get occasional glimpses of our very special sacredness. Where does that awareness go? Can we simply make an effort to work harder on caring about and loving each other? Will that make it come back? Can we simply make a conscious effort to open our own hearts, whenever we hug a loved one or when we see beauty around us or in others? I hear the songs from the people of the world, full of joy and sadness, fear and anger, and their feelings touch me with their music. How about you? I’d love to hear how you feel and what you think about this. And ‘Yes’, … if we open our hearts, we become vulnerable, but when we do, we also make room to feel love that can guide us through the challenges we will meet as we face this new, exciting year ahead of us. Now we’re here. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min
  2. 12/15/2024

    It's Only A Wee-Wee, So What's The Big Deal?

    When my buddy Utah Phillips recorded my song, ‘It’s Only A Wee-Wee, So What’s The Big Deal?’, he introduced it by saying, “Now here’s my idea of a kids’ song folks! Full bore, overhead cam, spoke wire-wheels, no holds barred damn kids’ song! None of that ‘knicky-knacky-nu’ stuff we were stuck with when we were kids. When’s the last time you actually said ‘wee-wee’ in public? ‘It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal? It’s only a wee-wee so what’s all the fuss? It’s only a wee-wee and everyone’s got one, there’s better things to discuss!” It’s a fun song I wrote in 1981 designed to open up safe discussions about how our binary gender-roles assign many attributes to boys and men that also described girls and women, … and visa-versa. Females can be strong and heroic. Males can be gentle and caring. Let’s just act like ourselves! Illustration by Terri Asher That was almost 50 years ago! Nowadays we’re aware of a slew of other factors we need to consider as we discover ‘who’ we are with regard to our sexual identity, orientation, biological, physical, emotional, hormonal, and genetic make-up! There are so many different factors now in the wide spectrum of information we have to consider, that it’s no longer possible to make a simple binary choice of a label that fits us correctly. Our gender identities have been limited to being either male or female for thousands of years, and we carry those gender labels with us, throughout our lives, that were assigned to us solely on the physical appearance of our g******s at birth. Our predominant culture demands that we accept our gender assignment, and when it does not fit with our own experience of ourselves, it takes great courage to push back against the pressure to conform. Some of us have been lucky enough to have family, friends, and other allies who support us in our exploration of this part of our human journey as we grow up, but many have not had that support. If we do speak up, it’s often alone, and we are attacked, abused, and discounted for simply not fitting into one of the two choices we’re given. So here we are singing ‘It’s Only A Wee-Wee’ at a ‘Healing Power of Laughter And Play Conference’ with 1400 hundred human service professionals! I hereby officially reframe my chorus to this song by saying: “Having discussions with other safe, caring people as we grow and explore and discover who we are as sexual human beings is a VERY BIG DEAL! We begin to free ourselves from the constraints of our binary assignments when we sing together about our g******s! Please join us!” IT’S ONLY A WEE-WEE, SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? As soon as you’re born G Grown-ups check where you pee C And then they decide D-D7 Just how you’re supposed t’be G-(C-G) Girls pink and quiet, G Boys noisy and blue C Seems like a dumb way D-D7 To choose what you’ll do G-(C-G) Cho: It’s only a wee-wee G So what’s the big deal? C It’s only a wee-wee D-D7 So what’s all the fuss? G It’s only a wee-wee G And everyone’s got one C There’s better D-D7 Things to discuss!! G-(C-G) Now girls must use make-up Girls’ names and girls’ clothes And boys must use sneakers But not pantyhose! The grown-ups will teach you The rules to their dance, And if you get confused, They’ll say “Look in your pants!” Chorus If I live to be nine, I won’t understand Why grown-ups are tot’ly Obsessed with their glands If I touch myself, ... “Don’t you do that!” I’m told, And they treat me like I might explode! Chorus Now grown-ups watch closely Each move that we make Boys must not cry, And girls must make cake It’s all very formal, And I think it smells Let’s all be abnormal And act like ourselves! Chorus (extra Adult verse) She walked to the market Past brave cavaliers She tried to avoid them, They whistled and jeered She gave them the finger, They gave her more noise So she stopped and she sang To those bright ‘little boys’ Cho: It’s only a wee-wee, So what’s the big deal? It’s only a wee-wee, So why do you watch? It’s only a wee-wee, And everyone’s got one There’s more to life Than your crotch!! Written by Peter Alsop, ©1981, Moose School Music (BMI) For more discussion check out Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW audio podcast here on Substack or anywhere you get podcasts! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. www.peteralsop.com Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    4 min
  3. Yecch!

    09/29/2023

    Yecch!

    Today's 'Song To Chew' is YECCH! from my “Wha'D'Ya Wanna Do?" album.  I play this song at almost every family concert because almost veryone loves screaming "Yecch!" at the top of their lungs!  It's a 'scream-along' so you can join in with us!  It's full of make-believe and playfulness, and it's an example of how story and oral tradition grab our attention and engage us. There is an air of danger when we face unknown monsters.  When adults laugh with kids at "yecchy" stuff, kids recognize a kindred spirit.  They know I'm not going to be a 'judgmental' adult if I'm willing to sing a gross song like this, and they're more likely to listen to what I have to say. "Booger-humor" is as basic and as old as the pun and poop jokes!  The fun comes from watching 'normal' adults get 'grossed out' by mentioning snot or slime!  It's got elements of rebellion in it that appeal to those of us who doesn't always accept the family rules about 'being polite'.  We can be "gross" in defiance of the socially accepted norms and still not get in any trouble.  Kids often find themselves in overwhelming or abrasive social interactions, and they actually 'need' to embrace fantasy as a way of checking out from the usual 'family zoo' energy.  I’m Peter Alsop.  I’ll be back soon with another ‘Song to Chew’.  Bye for now!  ~ Listen and subscribe to my Songs To Chew podcast = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = support my music & other artistic endeavors ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs & downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    6 min
  4. Let’s Face It!

    09/22/2023

    Let’s Face It!

    Today's 'Song To Chew' is LET'S FACE IT! from my “In The Hospital" album.  It addresses facial disfigurement, and all the unsettling emotions that we go through when we feel that we're different than others around us.  It's difficult emotionally, whether we're an adult or a child, to figure out how we're going to behave when others stare at us and feel uncomfortable. We have to cope with our own feelings of being left out and rejected. Maintaining a healthy, positive self-image is a lifelong process for all of us. Children born with physical "differences", or who become physically "different" are particularly vulnerable to the reactions of others.  These reactions strongly influence how we feel about ourselves. We need all the support we can get, so that we don't accept a negative self-image of ourself.  And this happens with our skin color too.  Nowadays black kids, and tan, yellow and white kids with freckles all get treated together in hospitals, and it wasn't always that way!  People's attitudes and behaviors change slowly, but they do change! ~ Listen and subscribe to my Songs To Chew podcast = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = support my music & other artistic endeavors ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs & downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    8 min
  5. Inspection

    09/15/2023

    Inspection

    Today's 'Song To Chew' is INSPECTION.  I wrote it with Penny Pefley, one of the pediatric nurses who helped us make our “In The Hospital"album.  My buddy Bill Harley and I 'rap' this one.  Our personal privacy is challenged regularly in a hospital by doctors, nurses and assistants who want to make sure we're okay.  They even wake us up at night to make sure we're sleeping soundly!  Today's kids are taught that it's their body and they can say "No!", but this all changes in the hospital.  We can feel trapped, helpless, and angry as stranger after stranger invades our privacy.  We want to honor a child's sense of self-worth by answering their questions and making safe space for their feelings to surface.  They have a right to know what's happening to them.  Some hospitals have child-life staff who support children when parents can't be there, to be sure the child receives age-appropriate explanations for things that are done.  We never, ever tease, but enjoying a good laugh decreases stress and helps us get beyond some tough situations.  Being in a hospital becomes easier if we remember we're all going through this together in the hope of returning to good health.  I’m Peter Alsop.  I’ll be back soon with another ‘Song to Chew’.  Bye for now! ~ Listen and subscribe to my Songs To Chew podcast = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = support my music & other artistic endeavors ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs & downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    7 min
  6. Juice

    09/08/2023

    Juice

    Today's 'Song To Chew' is JUICE, from my “Stayin Over" album.  It's an uncomplicated song, about the complicated concepts of 'love' and 'energy'.  When we feel we’re not loved, we feel empty, and we search for any kind of 'juice' to fill us up, like booze, sex, drugs, money, food or approval from others.  But when we’re actually filled up with 'love', we don't have to go on that search.  We can pass on that love and energy we have to others.  We learn to love others from being loved.  Children act morally when they understand feelings, it's not just about 'following rules'. The best way to teach kids about feelings, is to be open about our own feelings with them.  As they gain the ability to "feel" for others, they will make decisions about how to behave, based on their own feelings and understanding of what's going on.  Our caring behaviors come from treating others, as we would like them to treat us.  (Sound familiar?). When we have "juice", we pass that "juice " along!  I’m Peter Alsop.  Sure would appreciate you telling others about this podcast, and I’ll be back soon with another ‘Song to Chew’.  Bye for now! ~ Listen and subscribe to my Songs To Chew podcast = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = support my music & other artistic endeavors ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs & downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    7 min
  7. Stayin’ Over

    09/01/2023

    Stayin’ Over

    Today we'll 'Chew' on the title song from my STAYIN' OVER album.  Do you remember the first night you went to 'stay over' at a friend's house?  Maybe it was a camping trip with other families.  These adventures are loaded with memories and lessons we learned from our social interactions with others.  It's a big step in independence for most kids.  When we do it, we face separation from our own bed, blanket, our teddy bear, and from our parents.  Some kids are nervous about wetting our bed, or getting teased because we're afraid of the dark.  It's important to let kids know they can make their own decisions about sleeping overnight at a friend's house.  Slumber parties allow kids to take part in the creation of the "group stories" that become a part of our childhood.  We learn about friendship by spending time and sharing feelings and adventures with our friends. And having fun is great health care!  I’m Peter Alsop.  I’ll be back soon with another ‘Song to Chew’.  Bye for now! ~ Listen and subscribe to my Songs To Chew podcast = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = support my music & other artistic endeavors ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs & downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    8 min
  8. Wiggle

    08/25/2023

    Wiggle

    Today's 'Song To Chew' is WIGGLE.  It's a song about freedom!  We all “wiggle” when someone won’t let us do what we want to do.  'Being alive!" means that in one form or another, we just need to "wiggle"!  Some of us wiggle emotionally because we don't want to be 'pinned down'.  Some wiggle physically because we'll jump out of our skin if we can't get down and run around and chase the kitty cat!  And some of us do "ethical wiggling".  Politicians do it; business people, religious people too!  Legislatures make laws to eliminate as much 'wiggle-room' as they can, because when there's a lot of 'wiggle-room', there's room for mis-understandings and prevarications.  It allows 'wigglers' to "speak or act in an evasive way."  It's instructional for us grown-ups to remember what it's like being in 'kid shoes' once in a while.  This song is to remind us that, rather than get upset with a wiggly kid, we can practice having patience.  When we allow them some 'wiggle-room', we remember how important it is for us, and for those little 'inner kids' inside the big grown-ups around us.  I’m Peter Alsop.  Thanks for stopping by.  I’ll be back soon with another ‘Song to Chew’.  Bye for now! ~ Listen & subscribe to my Songs To Chew = anywhere you get podcasts, or https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peter-alsop-s-songs-to-chew/id1446179156 ~ CAMPING WITH DADS = https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dads-Peter-Alsop/dp/B08CS871QW/ref=sr_1_1 ~ www.FaceBook.com/WeLikePeterAlsop ~ www.Youtube.com/peteralsop  = videos ~ www.Patreon.com/peteralsop  = be one of my patrons and support my music! ~ www.peteralsop.com/music  = CDs or downloads Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

    7 min
4.8
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

Humor, wisdom & commentary by Peter Alsop on his award winning songs and stories; some for kids & families, some for teens and adults! peteralsop.substack.com

To listen to explicit episodes, sign in.

Stay up to date with this show

Sign in or sign up to follow shows, save episodes, and get the latest updates.

Select a country or region

Africa, Middle East, and India

Asia Pacific

Europe

Latin America and the Caribbean

The United States and Canada