Twins Talk Clear-cut Communication

As a Marketing and Communications professional, I find these topics and the dialogue between the twins to be a very worthwhile listen. I always take away a nugget or two, not to mention they’re short and sweet!

As a retired social work professional and teacher of social workers I am thoroughly enjoying your discussions related to communication, specifically listening. You mentioned that the 10th episode will deal with conflict. Clarifying questions, your last identified advanced skill of listening, is a wonderful segue to the question of how to respond to conflict and disagreement when communicating. Experiencing conflict is not the sole province of social work, of course, but it is one of our constant companions. I am wondering if you would comment on the following: A practice method that I would teach, and hopefully model, included asking three questions immediately when faced with conflict. Whether dealing with a client or supervisor (2 of the 3 top reasons for high turnover in social work), first pause and silently ask, “how am I feeling?” Second, after identifying the feeling, ask, “what do I think this person needs?” And finally, “how shall I respond to that need?” This method works for all relationships, of course, but I find in answering the third question, replacing the idea of possibly escalating conflict, a wonderful deescalation technique response is to ask for clarification. As Ray gave me my first copy of Covey’s 7 Habits in 1991, Habit 5 works when we can first seek to understand then to be understood. Learning to replace conflict rousing comments with clarifying responses and questions is a terrific tie-bar from Episode 9 to Episode 10.

Responses after Podcast 4. All four podcasts have been fascinating and challenging. Thank you. Four follow up thoughts on Podcast 4. 1- I saw a documentary several years ago that claimed that our dogs focus on one human eye when they listen to us 2 - How to you deal with people who interpret your nodding, not just as please continue I'm listening, but also as you are agreeing with me? 3 - Jesus was an amazingly effective listener in his style of answering questions with powerful follow up questions. 4- Do you think that your progression from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence applies to most things in life? As I listened, it seemed like it may well do so.

Each episode has just the right mix of clear cut advice and stories that put the ideas in context. I am four episodes in and eagerly await each release, I’m hooked! Already I am rethinking business strategies, how we deal with clients, how I talk to my team, and even how I converse with my teenagers. Bob and Ray are sharing a goldmine of wisdom. Thank you!