For quite a few years I have been telling this on-going fictional story of Fran and how she learns to turn to Jesus for wisdom and guidance in every area of her life. Fran is a young widow, a single mom with two children, and a demanding job. Through the struggles of her everyday life, she is learning to practice the presence of Jesus and look to him for guidance in every area of her life. Today is not such a good day for Fran. In fact, she is at the point of tears as she comes back to her office from a business meeting with her most important client. Closing her door, she plops in her chair and brushes away a tear that tries to escape. “Why did he say that to me?” she says out loud to herself. “Why would he be so cruel to me? I worked so hard on that promotion, and he shot it down without even listening to my idea!” “Feelings hurt today?” Jesus softly asks, though of course he has no need to know since he knows everything. Fran is again reminded of his abiding presence in her life. “Well, I don’t know if it’s my feelings that were hurt…” she stammers; “I think it was the crass insensitivity and unprofessionalism of Mr. Andrews. He was unnecessarily brutal.” “Your feelings are hurt, Fran,” Jesus states. “Might as well admit it; nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone gets their feelings hurt from time to time.” “Well, yeah, I guess he hurt my feelings. I mean, I’ve worked so hard for that account, and before this, he liked everything I did,” Fran explains. “Now out of the blue he hits me with this response—so unfair, you know.” “What exactly did he say?” Jesus asks. “You were there, Lord,” Fran replies, with a bit of frustrated sarcasm. Jesus laughs. “Yes, but it would be good for you to repeat what has upset you so much.” Fran feels ashamed of her inappropriate reaction. “I’m sorry. He said I had not researched this promotion adequately, and he was not comfortable going with my idea until I did my homework.” “And what was wrong with that comment?” Jesus asked. “What was wrong? I had an entire report backing up my idea. I did my homework. I always do my homework. That’s what’s gotten me where I am; everybody knows Fran does the job right,” Fran responds. “A bit defensive, are we?” Jesus quietly asks. Fran doesn’t like where this conversation is heading, so she suddenly gets busy with her work. “Nobody understands me,” she mumbles to herself, all the time knowing it’s not true. She’s not yet ready to give up her pity party! As she’s leaving the office that afternoon, her friend, Alice, pops in. “Hi, want to grab some pizza tonight with the kids?” “Oh, Alice, I’m so glad you came by,” Fran lights up. “I was going to call you and see if you could come over tonight. I need to talk with you.” “What about?” she asks. “Oh, I had a rough meeting with Mr. Andrews. I need some advice,” she replies. They make plans for Alice to get the pizza while Fran picks up her children. After a time with the kids, some homework assignments, and a Bible story, Fran gets Drew and Alice to bed. Then the two of them settle down for their long talk. “Okay, let me have it,” Alice says. Tears start to come to her eyes again and Fran says, “Oh, it’s probably no big deal but Mr. Andrews really let me have it today in front of everybody. You know that big promotion I’ve been working on? Well, he said I didn’t have sufficient research to proceed. He told me to ‘take it back to the drawing board,’ to use his words. He said there were too many unanswered questions.” Fran pauses and looks at Alice, waiting for her response, still fighting to hold back her tears. Alice nods and says, “And…” “And what?” Fran raises her voice. “Isn’t that enough?” “Well, I mean, is that all he said?” Alice asks. “Don’t you think it was very rude and unprofessional of him? I mean, in front of everybody,” Fran says in frustration. “Who was there?” Alice asks. “His assistant, Bernie, and Jim from the Art Department,” Fran says. “Uh, huh,” Alice cautiously responds. “That’s not exactly ‘everybody’, Fran,” she says. “Oh, you just don’t understand, Alice!” Fran is angry. “I guess you’re thinking it was just an overreaction.” “Come on, Fran, give me a break,” Alice says. “How about giving me a break and trying to be understanding?” she says. “Okay, I want to be understanding, but I’m just not sure what Mr. Andrews said that upset you so much. Maybe you just had to be there or something.” Tears start down Fran’s face. “Alice, don’t you understand, he said I didn’t do a thorough job and…and…” “And you always do a thorough job,” Alice says quietly. “Yeah, I’m beginning to get it.” She quietly says, “Do you want me to pray about this with you?” Fran knows prayer is long overdue, but on the other hand, she doesn’t want to give up her pity party! However, she hesitatingly says, “Yeah, please pray.” As she listens to Alice’s prayer, Fran’s defenses start to break down. “Fran,” she hears the voice of Jesus, “truth sometimes hurts, but remember, truth sets you free.” Jesus has told her that before, but once again she needs to be reminded that facing the truth, painful as it may be, is always the best way to go. After Alice finishes, Fran prays, “Dear Jesus, I hate to admit it, but I’m wrong. I overreacted again. It’s one of my worst weaknesses, and I don’t think I’ll ever get control of it. Please forgive me. Mr. Andrews had every right to say what he did, and I just blew it out of proportion.” She finds it difficult to continue; Jesus whispers in her ear, “I understand; you don’t have to say any more.” “Thank you for understanding me even when I don’t understand myself,” she says as she finishes her prayer. Fran looks at Alice. “Do you think I’ll ever learn not to overreact?” she asks. “I mean, I seem to do it all the time. In retrospect I can see how silly it was of me to read so much into Mr. Andrew’s comments.” “Well, I think you delight the Lord because you’re always honest and real with him, Fran, and you come around fast,” she says. “I’ve never known anyone as honest with herself as you are.” “Really?” Fran is surprised. “I never thought about it that way.” “You’re such a good friend, Alice. I really appreciate your honesty with me and helping me see what I need to see about myself. You know, I was trying to tell my dad about it this afternoon on the phone, and he really didn’t get it. But I just attributed that to the difference in the way men and women handle things like this.” “What do you mean?” Alice asks. “Well,” Fran answers, “we women tend to be more subtle and careful about the words we choose because we know how easily our feelings can be hurt. I think men tend to simply state facts and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak. Therefore, what Mr. Andrews said about me not doing a complete job really hurt my feelings, but a man would see that as a simple directive—something to be expected. Don’t you think that’s true, Alice?” Alice thinks about it a minute. “Well, it sure makes men sound terribly insensitive, which they can be sometimes, I’m sure. But it’s also part of our personality and how much we are personally affected. I have to admit, I couldn’t see why you were that upset over it. But then again, it wasn’t me there having to listen to what he said, so I could just be more objective at that moment.” Fran starts to laugh. “Isn’t it crazy how differently we see things,” she comments. “His comment hurt my feelings so badly; I took it very personally, but you heard it as just a simple business decision. You’re right. When our toes are stepped on, it tends to feel much more personal!” Some good lessons learned. Proverbs 16:20 tells us, whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. You can see why Fran overreacted to her client’s remarks. He challenged her in the one area where Fran felt she excelled—her attention to details and her competence at doing her job. Fran has done very well in her company because of these good qualities, and subtly, without realizing it, she had started to take some pride in herself for her achievements. Pride is such a deceitful snare. It sneaks up on you while you’re not looking. The very gifts God gives us can become points of pride in our lives, when we begin to think we’ve done something ourselves. And so, this somewhat painful meeting Fran had with her client punctured that pride and the poison came oozing out. But, as humbling as it was, it was a very good lesson because Fran was able to see it for herself and recognize her pride before it got too far out of hand. Maybe you too need to learn to control your reactions. If you find yourself speaking hastily when you’re upset, getting your feelings hurt too easily or exaggerating incidents to be much larger than they are, start praying that God will help you not to overreact. Frankly, I’ve been praying that for myself for years and though I’m not there yet, I’ve made some progress in the right direction.
