Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

Damona Hoffman - Dates and Mates Media
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From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts. Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category.

  1. 6 DAYS AGO

    I Miss You Taboo & The Bro Barrier

    We often talk about romance, but this week, we’re taking a closer look at the quiet epidemic affecting millions: the erosion of deep friendships and emotional openness, especially among men. What happens when someone says “I miss you”... and it feels too risky to say it back? How do cultural norms shape our ability to express care, and how can we start to rebuild emotional intimacy, not just in partnerships, but in friendships too? This week’s episode was inspired by a friend of the show, Douglas, whose candid moment with his wife sparked a much bigger conversation about vulnerability, gender norms, and the loneliness many are too afraid to name. This week, a listener shares: “Last night my wife told me she was getting lunch with a friend after getting a text that said ‘I miss you.’ I told her it’s nice women can say that — but guys can’t. She insisted we could. I’m not convinced. What do you think?” What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why men’s close friendships have declined dramatically in the last 30 years How emotional repression becomes loneliness, rage, and disconnection Why “guys don’t say I miss you” is a cultural myth we need to break The generational shift that teaches boys to shut down emotional expression Three step-by-step scripts to help you reconnect or form new friendships How to create low-pressure connection points that foster deeper bonds Why you don’t need permission to reach out,  just a little courage Resources & Links: Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our Date Tracker Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    26 min

  2. 2 SEPT

    The Big Confession & Texting Gremlins

    We’ve all had that one date…the one that felt like lightning. Everything clicks, and before you know it, you're imagining forever. But when you act on that high too quickly, reality can come crashing down hard. This week, a listener shares: “Late at night, I had to get these thoughts off my mind. I told her I felt like I think I'd found my wife. She expressed that she was disappointed that I would say this after what she told me about moving too fast and that it was best we not see each other.” In this episode, Damona breaks down what really happens when you come on too strong — and why even the most intense connection can’t be rushed. You’ll hear how fantasy thinking can override our better judgment, why texting late at night can sabotage a budding connection, and how to make amends when you've crossed a line. Most importantly, Damona offers real steps for recovery, both emotional and relational. The neuroscience behind why we overshare when we feel a spark How to tell if it’s a true connection or a fantasy projection Why texting your feelings late at night is rarely a good move What to say if you’ve overwhelmed someone with big emotions How to show up as your full self without rushing the process The one mistake people make after hearing someone’s boundary A script for taking accountability while leaving the door open Download the Frustration-Free Dating Guide: DamonaHoffman.com Leave a voicemail or text your question: 424-246-6255 Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook DM or voice memo your question to be featured in a future Dear Damona segment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    24 min

  3. 26 AUG

    Love After Loss & The Vulnerability Gap

    Grief changes us, and sometimes, it’s also what brings us together. This week, a listener shares: “My partner and I both lost our spouses, and we bonded over that. Now, three months in, I’m the only one opening up and being vulnerable. Am I asking too much? Or moving too fast?” In this episode, Damona explores what it really means to show up emotionally after loss, and why vulnerability often doesn’t look the same from both sides. You’ll hear how to honor your own emotional pace, set gentle boundaries, and recognize the difference between emotional availability and avoidance—even when love is in the room. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why shared grief doesn’t always mean shared emotional timing How to spot different expressions of vulnerability (and not miss what’s there) What to do when language that’s meant to be playful actually feels off How to speak up about emotional needs without creating conflict Why “moving in” can’t solve emotional distance Resources & Links: Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    22 min

  4. 19 AUG

    The Friendship Drift & Support Squads

    Friendships can be some of our most important relationships, but they don’t always stay the same.  Careers, relationships, moves, and life stages can all shift the way we connect, sometimes leaving us wondering if the closeness we once had is gone for good. This week, a listener shares: “My best friend and I used to share everything. Lately, it’s just work updates and weekend plans. When I try to talk about deeper stuff, the subject changes. Are we growing apart, or is there a way back?” In this episode Damona shares why even the strongest bonds can feel distant and offers practical, low-pressure ways to reignite connection.  You’ll learn how to adapt to friendship changes, bring back emotional depth, and keep your support network thriving without it feeling awkward or forced. Plus you’ll also get vital communication tips that you can apply to dating or to feel more connected to people in your world. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: The role of “resistance” in making things feel weird and how to lean into it Why longevity doesn’t always equal depth in a friendship Using shared memories and storytelling to re-open emotional doors The power of intentional questions and the “pause” in deepening connection Why diversifying your emotional support network is key to resilience Low-stakes ways to invite deeper conversations without making it awkward Resources & Links: Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook and submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    25 min

  5. 12 AUG

    Boundaries, Moms, & The Post-Date Spiral

    A long-time listener sent in a heartfelt question: “My Mom constantly has opinions about who I should date, what kind of guy is right for me, even how I should look or act to attract the right person… one comment from her has me spiraling.” In this episode, Damona explores how well-meaning love advice can actually sabotage your future relationships and offers step-by-step strategies for gently setting boundaries and building up your own self-confidence. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why outside opinions (especially from parents) can derail your dating momentum How to shift from second-guessing to self-trust in your dating decisions The invisible cost of oversharing—and how to protect your emotional energy Pre-date and post-date rituals that build confidence and clarity Damona’s personal rulebook for managing advice overload When to share... and when to keep your dating life to yourself Resources & Links: Get clarity on your dating patterns with Damona’s FREE Date Tracker Have a question about dating or any relationship that matters to you? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255  DM @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    35 min

  6. 5 AUG

    Feminine Energy Fatigue & The Myth of Being Chosen

    A longtime listener sent in a question that speaks to something many women have wondered: “How does one become a woman who builds up a man and always makes them more confident and stronger? How do I get into my feminine state and energy around a guy on a date?” In this episode, Damona shares what it really means to be “in your feminine,” explores the gender polarity debate, and offers a new way to think about strength, softness, and self-worth in modern relationships. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: How to support your partner without losing yourself Why feminine energy isn’t a fix—it’s often a performance How dating narratives get passed down and when to rewrite them Why your wholeness—not your polarity—attracts the right match What true balance looks like in an equal partnership Resources & Links: Download Damona’s FREE Frustration-Free Dating Guide Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    26 min

  7. 29 JUL

    The Nice Guy 9 & The Materialists Myth

    After watching The Materialists, a long-time listener sent in a question that struck a chord: “What’s it going to take for us to kill the curve and stop dating by height, BMI, salary, or things that don’t speak to true character?”  In this episode, Damona unpacks the real-life impact of checklist dating, explores the illusions behind modern matchmaking, and responds with practical advice for anyone who’s ever felt overlooked or friend-zoned. Plus, she shares her “Nice Guy 9” framework—9 simple shifts that help you connect more deeply and date more intentionally. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: How dating checklists quietly sabotage real connection What The Materialists gets right—and dangerously wrong—about dating culture The matchmaking myth and what it really costs (literally and emotionally) Why bad boys always win—and why that isn’t actually what’s happening The Nice Guy Nine: Damona’s go-to dating strategy for deeper connection How to shift your love story by changing the stories you tell yourself Resources & Links: Download Damona’s FREE Date Tracker Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    42 min

  8. 22 JUL

    Leaning Left but Swiping Right: Politics & Dating

    This week, Damona takes on a question from longtime listener Vernee, who’s back in the dating scene after a hiatus… and hitting a wall when it comes to finding someone who shares her political and social justice values. Vernee asks: "I'm politically progressive, very values-driven, and living in a purple state. I've tried everything — hints in my profile, direct chats — but nothing’s working. Where are the men who believe what I believe?" If you’ve ever wondered how to communicate what matters without scaring people off — or how to find someone who’s actually aligned — this one’s for you. In this episode: • Why dating apps might feel harder now than they did just a few years ago • How political identity and core values have become deeply intertwined • What to say in your profile (and what to leave out) • Why texting about politics rarely works — and what to try instead • Where to meet values-aligned people beyond the apps • The line between staying open-minded and lowering your standards Submit your question: call or text 424-246-6255 Follow Damona on IG: @damonahoffman Get your free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    29 min
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About

From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts. Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category.

Information

  • Creator
    Damona Hoffman - Dates and Mates Media
  • Years Active
    2013 - 2025
  • Episodes
    102
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Dear Mrs D, Inc.
  • Show Website
    Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

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