The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center | Dr. Dan Allender
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The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more. The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

  1. 3 HR AGO

    Creating a Better Marriage Through Story with Becky Allender

    Becky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center.  No matter what season you’re in—whether your relationship is new or you’ve been married for decades like Dan and Becky—there’s always something new to learn. Every step offers a chance to meet one another with greater kindness, compassion, and understanding. Next week, Dan will rejoin the podcast conversation, but today, we hope you enjoy this episode with Becky and Rachael as they share their wisdom and reflections on marriage and connection. Listener Resources: Check out Hidden in Plain Sight by Becky Allender. Read some of Becky Allender's blog posts. Pre-order your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dan Allender and Steve Call.

    8 min

  2. 3 JAN

    Is Hope Worth the Risk?

    As we think about the upcoming year, we know that hope can feel elusive. Weighed down by uncertainty, exhaustion, and a world filled with division and stress, it’s easy to wonder if hope is even worth holding onto. Hope carries heartache. Longing for something better can feel vulnerable, especially when past disappointments and cynicism weigh heavy on our hearts. It can feel safer to let go of hope than to risk the ache of unfulfilled desire. But as Dan Allender shares, hope isn’t passive or naïve. It’s “a kind of patience that does not erase desire, but has a resilience to remain in the movement toward the dream that hope holds, with a kind of defiance—a willingness to say, I don't just wait passively, I wait in a way in which I'm willing to risk on the anticipation of the arrival of what my heart most deeply desires.” Hope doesn’t deny the pain of the past or present; it’s a courageous choice to believe in the future possibility of good. And it often begins small—a moment of gratitude, a glimpse of beauty, or the connection we find with others. This year, we can choose hope—not because it’s easy, but because it opens us up to something deeper, truer, and worth desiring.

    44 min

  3. 27/12/2024

    Reflections on the Year with Dr. Dan & Becky Allender

    As we near the close of the year, Dan and Becky Allender are continuing a podcast tradition: sitting down to reflect on their experiences and inviting you, our listeners, to join them in this meaningful practice. Dan and Becky share their own reflections—what they’ve learned, what they’re grieving, and what they’re celebrating—as they prepare to transition into a new season. They’ve also shared a few practical ways you can reflect on your year: Scroll through your photo gallery. Notice the moments that brought you joy, growth, or even challenge. Review your calendar. Whether you logged your events in a digital calendar or on paper, look back on events and milestones from each month. Do you notice any themes? Choose five words. If you could describe your year in just five words, what would they be? We hope you’ll take a moment as we close out the year to pause, reflect, and dream for what’s to come.

    43 min

  4. 13/12/2024

    The Complexities of Christmas

    With Christmas just around the corner, it’s easy to get lost in the comforts of gifts, gatherings, and familiar holiday carols. Yet in today’s podcast, Dan and Rachael remind us that the true celebration of Christmas means embracing the profound disruption Jesus brought to the world—a call to love, bless, and challenge the status quo, even in a world often defined by hatred and division. This conversation invites us to see Christmas as more than a season of comfort. It’s a time of transformation, calling us to step into the work of love, justice, and restoration. Merry Christmas from all of us here at the Allender Center! We’ll take a short break on the podcast next week, and will return on December 27th with a year-end reflection from Dan and Becky Allender.

    45 min

  5. 06/12/2024

    Advent and the Light

    As we continue through the season of Advent, this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast invites you to linger in the profound mystery of light and darkness found in John 1.  Dan and Rachael reflect on the richness of this passage, offering insights into the paradox of the light that reveals all yet remains unseen by many. “In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:4-5) Through their conversation, Dan and Rachael explore  why arrogance and dogmatism can obscure even the brightest of truths, how Jesus, the true light, shattered societal and religious expectations of power and hierarchy, and  what it means to embody vulnerability and hope in a world steeped in exploitation and suffering. With honesty and humility, they wrestle with the ways we — individually and collectively — can miss the light of Christ in our midst. Yet, we’re also reminded of the profound hope of the Word made flesh, dwelling among us still.

    35 min

  6. 29/11/2024

    Advent and the Word

    As we enter the season of Advent, Dan and Rachael invite us to reflect on the opening of John’s Gospel: “In the beginning was the Word…” From there, they move to John’s closing declaration: “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.” Through this framework, they delve into the meaning and weight of the Word — and of words themselves. Words are not just for speaking, but also for listening. (We often forget that part.) Dan shares his personal longing for this season: “I want, for me, this season, I want for us to love the Word, to love words, to be silenced, to have more sense of awe. And in many ways, the humility to move toward a vulnerability that askews false power.” While this episode leans a bit more philosophical than some, we hope it offers a thoughtful space to ponder the beauty and mystery of the Word. Join Dan and Rachael as they share their own questions and reflections, inviting us into a richer experience of Advent.

    37 min

  7. 22/11/2024

    The Culture of Spiritual Abuse

    When confronting spiritual abuse, it can feel more straightforward to focus on a specific person or leader who may have caused harm. But it’s also important to address the systems and cultural contexts that, in their most obvious forms, promote abuse—and in their more subtle forms, allow it to happen or refuse to confront it. In this episode, Dan and Rachael dive into the painful realities of spiritual abuse and the systems that uphold it. They explore how cultural powers—such as patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, and purity culture—often intertwine with Christian theology, creating harmful environments that distort our understanding of God and faith. And yet, even in the face of this, there is a call to confront our complicity in these systems with grace and humility.  We hope this conversation is an invitation to wrestle with and address how we've been shaped by harmful cultures and systems and how we may have participated in them – and ultimately, to consider how we can step into a more loving, just, and merciful understanding of God and community. === We invite you to explore the brand-new Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course from the Allender Center. This 6-lesson course, complete with reflective practices and deep dive panel discussions, helps you engage your body, mind, and spirit as you unpack the harm caused by spiritual abuse. Whether you’re just beginning to wake up to this reality or have been on a healing journey for years, this course provides a safe and welcoming space to deepen your understanding and work towards healing. Learn more and enroll today at: theallendercenter.org/online-courses

    38 min

  8. 15/11/2024

    The Attachment Wounds of Spiritual Abuse

    Abuse of any kind involves a setup and a breach of trust – and spiritual abuse is no exception.  Whether it stems from personal relationships or institutional settings, spiritual abuse can deeply disrupt our sense of attachment and connection, leaving lasting wounds. These wounds may have their roots in early developmental trauma, making spiritual abuse feel like an echo of past harm. It’s not just about the betrayal of spiritual abuse in the more recent past—whether during teen years, college experiences, or adulthood—but about understanding how our earliest experiences have shaped our ability to trust and heal. === We invite you to explore the brand-new Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course from the Allender Center. This 6-lesson course, complete with reflective practices and deep dive panel discussions, helps you engage your body, mind, and spirit as you unpack the harm caused by spiritual abuse. Whether you’re just beginning to wake up to this reality or have been on a healing journey for years, this course provides a safe and welcoming space to deepen your understanding and work towards healing. Learn more and enroll today at: theallendercenter.org/online-courses

    43 min
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About

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more. The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

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