The Covert Narcissism Podcast Renee Swanson

"I felt that I was the only one who was uncomfortable with his behavior." In this episode, Sarene speaks of her experience in the work environment of Rolling Stone magazine from over 10 years ago. This individual no longer works at Rolling Stone, and in Sarene's words, "I can't speak for Rolling Stone and its work culture for the past ten years. But I can speak to my experience from 2007 to 2014." She describes the toxic work environment and the effect it had on her. "Jann Wenner fueled the boys' club attitude...The reason that my boss treated me the way that he did was because of Jann Wenner's attitude."

 

When surrounded with a work environment that ignored the passive aggressive gestures of her boss, Sarene questioned her own perspective and feelings. Her coworkers tolerated and even rewarded the inexcusable behavior of their boss to further their own career. But Sarene simply could not do that. She began putting boundaries in place and was shocked at the fallout. Her story is compelling and inspiring. Hearing her share how she stood her ground and flourished from the choices she made is encouraging in this world of narcissistic abuse.
 
To learn more about Sarene's work, check out these links.
"Emotional Abuse Is Real" podcast: https://emotionalabuseisreal.buzzsprout.com/
 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sareneleedswrites/Website: sareneleedswrites.com

“I’m in my second marriage and married almost 2 years. I’m realizing he’s a covert narcissist. I am mad at myself because I didn’t think I’d find myself here again, and now learning so much on codependency. I’m on a roller coaster. I have caught him in so many lies. I don’t know why I try to get him to admit it when I know it’s constant lies. I am feeling so much in my chest, and it’s building. He does nice things for me and when I don’t show appreciation adequately he gets weird, like I didn’t show it correctly. I can’t define this ache in my chest but it’s building. Like a scream that can’t come out. I know I need to leave, but I’m frozen. How do I move forward?
 
“How did you keep your resolve? I've made steps toward leaving: working with a therapist, saving money, looking for a new place to live, and consulting an attorney. Attorneys advise that if you want to keep your rights to the property DON'T LEAVE IT. Instead, ask the other person how ending the relationship is going to look with the house, child custody, etc first. In keeping with the legal advice, I TOLD HIM a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to separate and asked what dealing with the house and agreeing on child custody would look like. We argued for several hours and then he backed down and essentially changed the subject (not the first time this tactic has been used). Since then, things are going OK - more peaceful and he is acknowledging when he's doing SOME things that perpetuate arguments between us and backing off - and yet I find I don't care and still want out. Is this time of peace a ruse? Another manipulation? How did you stick to your plans once you made them and the covert narcissist started "behaving", for lack of a better word?”
 
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
 
https://eleanormarks.net/

In this episode, Caryn Dixon tells her story publicly for the first time. Like so many others, she was in that yo-yo relationship. On again and off again. Thinking “this is over” only to give him one more chance. Trapped by hope and the belief that he will change, Caryn dug in to save her marriage many times. 
There is nothing wrong with you for choosing to believe in the person you married, for wanting to work things out with them, for fighting for the relationship, for hanging onto hope. These are not the signs that one is broken. The signs that we have been broken by this person are when our hope is gone, when we don’t have anything left, when we just don’t care anymore. That is our breaking point.
In sharing her story, Caryn gives a message of hope. She followed her heart and is chasing her dreams now. No matter how isolated you are, you can get through this. It is time to reach out for help and find the support that you need. 
From her song, “Here I am,” 
“They told me that I couldn’t fly. Gave a million reasons why I shouldn’t try. But I didn’t listen.
Well, I stumbled and I hit the ground. Get up and go another round. So here I am.”
 
https://www.caryndixonmusic.com/

 

 #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism


 

Have you ever called a covert narcissist out for something they have done? How did it go? 
While every situation is different, so many stories from victims of covert narcissistic abuse are the same. It is as though we are all talking about the same person. The similarities are shocking! In this episode, I explore 7 ways that covert narcissists often react when you tell them how you feel about something, especially about something they did or said. These range from instant frustration and anger aimed at you to self-deprecating comments aimed at them. You get everything from narcissistic rage to narcissistic collapse. Throw into this mix gaslighting and silent treatments. This can be quite a roller coaster. And it all began because you asked them to take the trash out!
 

#abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism 

In this chat with Eleanor Marks and Renee Swanson, they address somes questions brought to them in the Facebook group, Covert Narcissism Group.
One member said that she is wondering about helpful things to know when dealing with an attorney who only understands the general ‘narcissist’ definition but not all the underlying behavior issues that compose a covert narcissist. This is a very tough situation, especially in today's world where courts won't even allow you to say the word 'narcissist.' That word is thrown around too much and this takes away from those who have truly suffered at the hands of a narcissist. How do we address this with our attorneys?
 


Another member asked about the actual leaving part, especially with kids. She asked for examples of exit plans and what the actual day or week look like. She is also "very curious of the articulate child’s reflection of splitting time between a chaotic covert narcissistic parent and a more stable parent."
 
This path is a very personal path with a lot of circumstances to consider. If you would like to meet individually with Renee Swanson for coaching specific to dealing with a covert narcissist and for strategies for helping your kids through this, please visit her website to schedule an individual session.
CNG Life Coaching Sessions — Community n' Grace

 
#abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism 
 

Understanding the difference between compassion and empathy is important for anyone who is dealing with a non-empathetic person, such as a covert narcissist. Compassion and empathy are both in response to the emotions and needs of another person. Both involve some level of awareness of the other person’s needs. 
By definition, compassion is the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and are motivated to relieve that suffering. Covert narcissists can have this and often do compassionate acts, especially when motivated by outside factors. When they do however, it seems to be empty and have no substance behind it.
 
Empathy, by definition, is the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. This is lacking with covert narcissistic people and leaves a trail of hurt, neglect and abandonment.
 

 #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism