FINE is a 4-Letter Word Lori Saitz

From the very first episode of Fine is a 4-Letter Word, where my guest revealed that she did not even know what emotions were until she was in middle age because she was punished as a child for having them, I’ve been sharing stories of what happens from the inside out.
My mission and drive for this podcast is to give you hope, help you find your passion and purpose, and dare you to see the life that’s waiting for you, so you’ll never hear - or say - the word “fine” in the same way again.
Brad Chandler, who was my client/boss when I was the marketing director for his real estate company, brings a level of clarity and understanding to this work that could change your life in just the next few minutes.
See, Brad was created – not raised – with the belief that something was wrong with him and he was never good enough. Note how I phrased this.
His parents didn’t mean for this to happen. It was simply a consequence of how they processed – or failed to process – their own traumas that were handed to them through generational patterns. They handed them down to Brad.
Fast-forward to when Brad was in his mid-40s. He had a successful company and a boat, but he also had two failed marriages, two kids who lived with severe anxiety, a feeling that even though he was wealthy and owned a successful company he had not succeeded, a lack of joy, and a propensity to smoke a lot of weed.
Lots of people get divorced, have anxious kids, question their self-worth, lack joy, smoke a little weed now and then, and they seem fine on the day-to-day.
But you know… you guessed it… Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Looking at all these situations, Brad noticed a common denominator in all these situations – Brad Chandler.
Why didn’t Brad Chandler ever seem to be good enough?
Why wasn’t all that hard work paying off for him emotionally?
He was scared. He was hurt. He realized he was protecting himself from something. What did a wealthy guy who from the outside had an incredibly blessed life need protection from?
In a moment, when you meet Brad, you’re not only going to join him on his journey of self-discovery - that has changed him and made him possibly the happiest guy on earth - you’re also going to get a step-by-step prescription on how to understand and sort your own emotions so you finally come to understand that yes, you are good enough.
If you can’t see that for yourself right now, gift yourself this episode now.
Brad’s hype song is “Roar” by Katy Perry.
Resources:
Brad Chandler’s website: https://www.bradchandler.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lbradchandler/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brad.chandler1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bradchandlercoaching X (formerly Twitter): https://twitter.com/lbchandler1 Take the Self-Love Quiz: https://www.bradchandler.com/quiz/ Claim the Joy Regenerator: https://unlocklimitlessyou.com/joy-regenerator/
Invitation from Lori:
Now if, like Brad, you just don’t feel like you’re good enough, you’re always...

Children who are told to be “seen, but not heard” learn early on that their thoughts, feelings, and words don’t matter.
Then as adults, they continue to silence themselves even when they do speak by hiding and suppressing their true thoughts and feelings.
Growing up in a small Welsh village, P.J. Roscoe learned early on to know her place, don’t have an opinion, don’t question or challenge anything, and generally stay completely out of the way.
It was such a small village that as P.J. says, you could fart on one end of the village, and by the time you got home, everyone would know about it. The adults talked with each other about the children constantly, but the children were supposed to stay silent and contribute nothing.
Ironically, when P.J. and her family moved to another town where she felt more free to express herself, she felt out of place and wanted to go back.
Going away to college didn’t change much. She ended up in an abusive relationship that gave her no freedom, and in college she was told that she could not have certain jobs or career choices because she was a woman. She was studying to be a beauty health and sports therapist and dance instructor, but she really wanted to be an author. No, she was told, her grades weren’t good enough.
When she was eight months pregnant, P.J. went for her usual scan where they discovered the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. This tragedy became the catalyst for her to write her first novel, called “Echoes”.
So maybe things were going to be fine after all – but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
P.J.’s next step was training to become a therapist. Her instructor gave her an assignment – for the next three years, instead of saying the word “fine” (or “okay”) when asked how she was doing or how her day was, she was to say “fuck off”.
Her instructor explained that when you say “fine” as the answer to questions like “how are you” or “how was dinner,” it disrespects the person asking because it shows them you reject their interest or concern for you. Similarly, P.J. should never accept “fine” or “okay” as the response when asking after someone else.
What should she do instead? How does changing the conversation lead to better communication as well as empower and honor both you and the other person? In what ways does this help us be both seen and heard?
In a moment, when you meet P.J., you’ll discover a new take on how Fine is a 4-Letter Word which could open new doors for you.
P.J.’s hype song is "Rain” by The Cult.
Resources:
P.J. Roscoe’s website: https://pjroscoe.co.uk/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pjroscoeauthorgriefguru111/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PaulaGriefGuru/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pjroscoeauthor/ X (formerly Twitter): https://twitter.com/PJRoscoeauthor
P.J. is offering you a 10% discount on her 5-month program when you contact her and say “I heard you on Lori’s show, Fine is a 4-Letter Word”.
Invitation from Lori:
Now if, like P.J., you feel seen but not heard – like you’re existing in a reality dictated by somebody else and you’ve no say in the matter, the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide can help you find your own voice.
Once you...

Family trauma and drama flow through generations and can take on a form of fiction around “family unity,” “handed down traditions,” and “that’s the way it is” that sweep the suffering under the rug. But two things can happen.
Either you’ll find yourself in pain from stepping on the lumps of dirt under the rug, or the rug will slip and slide due to the dirt making it less sticky to the floor – either way, you could fall when you least expect it.
This need to create narratives could be part of why Lana McAra became a published fiction author, a coach and mentor to fiction writers, and host of an acclaimed podcast that delves deep into the ins and outs of fiction novel writing.
Lana was raised in a conservative environment as the oldest of five children of a hospital handyman and a housewife. They lived in Amish country and belonged to a Mennonite community. Rustic, yes – however everything looked fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word – and the contradictions were just beginning.
Her father seemed to be a pillar of integrity who upheld traditional values, while her mother was a rebel who didn’t wear her bonnet or stockings and therefore “scandalized” the entire family. Eventually, her mother filed for divorce, her father moved to the opposite side of the country, and not even two weeks after the divorce, her mother married a volatile and abusive man.
As de facto parent to her four younger siblings, Lana created the narrative that their father, who had become a successful tradesman in his new life, was the example they should follow – even though he had completely abandoned them.
So much for moral rectitude from both parents, huh?
Lana went to college with the intention of breaking free and blazing her own trail… only to almost immediately meet, and soon marry, a man who had the same hypocritical character and controlling manner her father did.
Lana and her husband became missionaries, traveling to different countries like Grenada where her husband’s efforts to control her didn’t fly with the culture. It was a culture shock to come back to the United States and learn it all again.
In the meantime, just as she had been the sole caretaker as a teenager for her four siblings, she now became this for her seven children, all while pursuing her lifelong passion for fiction novel writing.
After 30 years, Lana and her husband divorced. Her family relationships unraveled as she formed short-term reunion bonds with her parents before they died. Then she became estranged from her siblings. All of this led to a nervous breakdown.
The fiction stories she had written all fell apart – but then she met someone at a conference who led her toward literally tapping the depths of her trauma.
You’re about to meet Lana and discover the very real new story she is penning!
Lana’s hype song is "You Don't Mess Around with Jim” by Jim Croce.
Resources:
Lana McAra’s website: http://LanaMcAra.com LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/lanamcara Facebook: https://facebook.com/lana.mcara2 Instagram: https://instagram.com/lanamcara2 X (formerly Twitter): https://www.twitter.com/lanamcara
Invitation from Lori:
Now if, like Lana, you find yourself discovering that the life you think is real has turned out to be a...

In the United States, more than 64 million men identify themselves as fathers.
Yet, 7 million American dads are absent from the lives of their minor children, and 17.4 million children live in fatherless homes!
Philip Lower, technically, grew up as one of these statistics.
His biological father took his own life when Phil was five years old, leaving him with the question: "Why did Daddy have to leave me?"
Five years later his mother met and married a wonderful man who became Phil's stepfather. But, it wasn't until until he was 25 that Phil stopped treating his stepdad as a “butthead,”– that was his own term.
As an adult, Phil became dad to two daughters and worked for a Fortune 250 company managing leadership development and training for 2,000 employees.
It seemed like everything was fine - but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
There was a reorganization and the development team got whacked – and in the meantime, Phil was diagnosed with Guillain–Barré syndrome.
Due to his condition, he couldn't get another job, even as a Walmart greeter, for the same reason.
He and his family ended up homeless for almost three years, with a period of time where they lived apart before he was able to figure out a way to afford to live with them in hotel rooms.
Not only was he physically separated from his daughters, but because of the impact of Guillain–Barré on his nervous system, he couldn't even feel them when touching them on the cheek.
For Phil and his daughters, as well his career, this experience led to a new beginning. The dad jokes he told to his girls turned into the first published Dad Quote of the Day book. The second book was a collection of recipes they developed in the kitchenette of their Extended Stay hotel room.
Phil is now on an endeavor to translate concepts and principles of leadership and empathy into language kids can easily understand. From the Trees of Leadership sprung the Grandpa Owl series, which features a wise owl who teaches family values in a way that relates to historical events in a unique, holistic approach you’ve not seen before.
Phil’s hype song is "Strength of a Thousand Men" by Two Steps from Hell.
Resources:
Philip Lower’s website: https://dqotd.com/welcome-to-grandpa-owl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lowerphil Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dadquoteoftheday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadquoteoftheday To learn more about Granda Owl, e-mail Phil at grandpa@grandpaowl.com.
Invitation from Lori:
If, like Phil, you find yourself in a place where you either physically or metaphotically lose touch, the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide can be the restorative vitamin that brings back the feeling.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through.
When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start. It’s time to reach out and feel the power

Imagine you start with a sense of purpose, aligned with your goals, accustomed to your family supporting you in living your authentic life, and successfully practicing the art of the possible.
Then, all of a sudden, it gets taken away.
Stephany Ann was raised in a supportive family environment that embraced individuality and encouraged her to pursue her passions. When she was 18, her mother released her to do what she intended to do.
For five years, she lived the nomad life, backpacking worldwide. Then she returned to the United States for college but missed the application deadlines.
Rather than get discouraged she said to herself, “Why don’t we just sit down and talk with Admissions and tell them why I need to go there and why they need to give me a full ride?”
They accepted her and gave her a full ride – the art of the possible!
Stephany finished college, entered law school, and met the man who would become her first husband.
Everything seemed fine – but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Stephany found out she had married a narcissist who gave her an ultimatum to either give up her dreams and goals and do as he wished, or he would leave.
She acquiesced – and this is where her problems began.
In a moment, when you meet Stephany, you’ll discover her journey through her first marriage, her divorce and subsequent custody battle, and then her second marriage to another man who was remarkably similar to the first.
Along the way, she went blind – as in literally, lost her vision.
How did she go from such a promising start of being in command of her destiny to finding herself at the mercy of the whims and machinations of narcissistic men to the point she lost her identity and sense of self?
How did she get her vision back? (Yes, her eyes work now.)
What lessons were her husbands teaching her, in their own way?
You hear a lot about narcissism – the love-bombing, the idealization phase, the transition to constantly adapting yourself to anticipate the abrupt personality shifts of a man who claimed he never had an affair, while he was living with another woman.
Now, you’re going to experience the journey in a way you’ve never seen before.
Stephany Ann’s hype song is "Unstoppable" by Sia.
Resources:
Stephany Ann’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephany-ann-369a01293Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092716308108
Invitation from Lori:
If, like Stephany Ann, you so completely lose your identity that it feels like you’ve gone blind, the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide can restore your vision of your life’s purpose.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. It could show you the answers to questions you haven’t known to ask because, up until now, you couldn’t see them.
When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start. It’s time to be open and honest with yourself so you can make things better.
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now let’s go chat with...

When you go out to find yourself, the journey can take you places you didn’t imagine you’d ever go.
Maybe it will take you to a different town, or even a different country.
But once you get there, it’s possible you’ll discover you really need to go somewhere else. Kind of like in the book The Alchemist.
Matthew Brackett felt the calling to go into seminary life from an early age, and it seemed to align with the values he was raised with.
Growing up as the 10th of 13 children, he was fortunate that his father made enough money to cover the expenses, even if there weren’t a lot of luxuries, and to afford a house that had five bathrooms.
As a child, Matthew was exposed to the core values of generosity and helping others, which was natural in such a large family in a house that also included other people who stayed with the Bracketts if they were down on their luck. Service, generosity, helping others, and sacrifice. There was also the vision of the transcendental, the idea that you’re a small piece of a bigger picture.
Combining all this with Matthew’s need to live beyond the small town where he grew up, joining the priesthood seemed a natural next step as it took him all around the world serving thousands of people. First, he studied for 10 years, then served as a priest for 20 years, including as a chaplain in the United States Navy and Marine Corps.
Everything seemed fine – but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
The problem was that while his life’s work aligned with his values of generosity and service, he found that he was not serving himself.
Ultimately, he decided to take a year off. During that year, he spent four months as an inpatient learning about himself, before returning to his hometown and living with his dad while working menial jobs and collecting new experiences.
Today, he coaches with individuals, couples, companies, and organizations of all sizes, whose leaders sometimes don’t quite know what to make of a former priest. Is he going to force his beliefs on them? Does his background give him the ability to see different points of view? Does he have the experience?
Matthew is now three years into his new journey, and once again he is finding his niche as a small piece of a new bigger picture.
Matthew’s hype song is “Back in Black” by AC/DC.
Resources:
Matthew Brackett’s website: https://brackettalliance.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-brackett/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/matthew.brackett.12 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthewbrackett_official/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MatthewBrackett_Official
Invitation from Lori:
If, like Matthew, you get to where you set out to go and then discover that’s not where you belong, the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide can point you down your next path.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through....