I will never forget that day in Kaohsiung, around 2010, when we held our engagement banquet at my family’s house. A college friend came to congratulate me and said, “You’ve made it.” But in that moment, I didn’t feel a trace of joy. 我永远忘不了那天，在高雄家里举办订婚酒席，大概是2010年。一位大学同学来祝贺我，说我“成功了”，可那一刻，我心里却没有一丝喜悦。 At the time, I was preparing to marry the man I thought was my prince charming. But the wedding preparations nearly broke me: invitations, outfits, makeup, and hair were all left to me to arrange. I had to take care of my father’s feelings, while also hosting my fiancé’s parents who had flown all the way from Ireland, along with their friends from Hong Kong. Thankfully, my half-sister—though we don’t share the same mother, she has always been caring—was by my side to help. Without her, I wouldn’t have made it through. 那时的我，正准备嫁给当时心目中的白马王子。但筹备过程中，我几乎被压垮：邀约、服装、妆发全得自己张罗，还要照顾爸爸那边的情绪，同时也迎接从爱尔兰远道而来的未婚夫父母与他们在香港的朋友。幸好有我同父异母的贴心姐姐陪我一起帮忙，不然我真的撑不住。 But what exhausted me the most was the criticism from my in-laws after the engagement: my table manners, my clothing, my behavior… I had been bullied as a child and a teenager, and that same feeling of “being disliked when I was myself, and still not being loved when I tried to please others” came flooding back. 但最让我无力的，是在订婚之后，婆家对我的各种不满：餐桌礼仪、穿着打扮……我从小曾被霸凌，那种“做自己被讨厌、委屈自己也不被喜欢”的情绪，再次涌上心头。 His parents even told him, “If you insist on marrying Lily, we will cut ties with you.” Yet I was moved by his determination and his love. Even when we went to Hong Kong to register our marriage without either set of parents present, he still chose to stand by me. 他的父母甚至对他说：“如果你坚持娶Lily，我们就断绝关系。” 我却感动于他的坚持与深爱——即使在我们到香港公证结婚那天，双方父母都没有出席，他还是一样选择站在我这边。 But in the end, the marriage still fell apart. Barely a year and a half later, I discovered his affair with his assistant. To be honest, I hadn’t been happy for quite some time. Looking back now, perhaps what he did actually gave me a way out. 只是，这段婚姻最后还是走向破裂。结婚不到一年半，我发现他与助理的婚外情。诚实地说，那时候的我早已不快乐。现在回头看，也许他所做的，反而是给我一条出路。 I left him, and I also left behind the home and the seven years of life I had built in Shanghai. It was a true new beginning. 我离开了他，也离开了我在上海筑起的家和七年的生活。那是一场真正的重新开始。 I set out with $10,000, planning to travel for three months. But one journey turned into ten years, and I have now traveled through more than forty countries. My luggage, once heavy, has been reduced to less than seven kilos. 我带着一万元美金上路，原本只打算旅行三个月，没想到这一走就是十年，踏遍四十多个国家。行李从沉重到精简，如今只剩下不到7公斤的随行装备。 I discovered freedom—the freedom to go wherever I wanted, to meet whoever I wanted, and most importantly, to carry an inner peace with me. 我体验了自由——想去哪就去哪，想见谁就见谁，还有一份心灵的平静。 Along the way, I went through deep transformation in body, mind, and spirit. I learned to forgive, to accept, to release, and to surrender. I learned to live in peace with myself. 因为在这段旅程中，我也经历了身心灵的蜕变。我学会了宽恕、接受、放下与臣服。我学会与自己和平共处。 Many people say they envy my life. To be honest, I also envy the version of me who exists today. Over these years, I have cried, broken down, and even thought of ending my life. But I have also experienced the sweetness of love, the ecstasy of life, and now, a quiet contentment. 很多人说羡慕我的生活，说实话，我自己也很羡慕现在的自己。这些年，我哭过、崩溃过、也曾想过结束生命。但我也经历过爱情的甜蜜、生命的狂喜，还有如今的恬淡自在。 In the past, I often struggled to write, feeling blocked and empty. Now, with the help of AI tools, I can create with flow and share my emotions, stories, and reflections. This is something unimaginable for our parents’ generation, and I feel grateful to live in a time with such possibilities. 过去的我，常常写不出东西，觉得文思枯竭。现在，透过AI工具，我能流畅地创作，分享我的心情、故事与体悟。这是我们父母辈无法想像的事情，我为自己能活在这个时代、拥有这样的可能性感到感恩。 This memoir is dedicated to myself, and also to you, who may be searching for direction in the midst of uncertainty. 这本回忆录，是献给我自己，也是献给在迷途中寻找方向的你。 May these stories bring you comfort, and a little courage. 希望这些故事能带来陪伴与一点点勇气。 If you’d like to connect, feel free to write to me at boss@flywithlily.com. You are also welcome to join my Morning Club, my entrepreneurship community, or visit my website: flywithlily.com. 如果你愿意与我交流，欢迎写信到 boss@flywithlily.com。 也邀请你加入我的双语女子晨间俱乐部、创业社群，或来逛逛我的网站：flywithlily.com。 We meet on the road. May we light the way for each other. 我们在路上相遇，愿彼此照亮。 This memoir series will be updated weekly on Fly with Lily podcast. I’d love for you to come back often, listen, and leave me a message. You can also support me by leaving a 5-star review on Ximalaya, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify—I’ll be sharing some of your reviews in future episodes. 本回忆录系列预计在《学英语环游世界》播客中一周更新一次，欢迎常回来收听或留言给我。并在喜马拉雅、Apple Podcast和Spotify留下五星的评价给我鼓励，我会在节目中分享出来。
