031: Why Your Bilingual Child Does Not Respond Back In Minority Language

Today’s question is the most popular in my blogging experience.

It is been asked by so many parents of different languages, family circumstances and kids’ ages.

But the core of the question remains the same:

Why my bilingual child does not respond back in minority language.

It certainly could be frustrating: you were always speaking the target language with your child and maybe he/she even spoke it to you back as a little kid but eventually started to use more majority language with you and finally completely switched to it.

No I boiled down all possible reasons into 4 major groups, and I would like to share them with you.

 Reason#1: Not Enough Need To Speak Minority Language

The NEED to speak the language is essential.

I started to learn English in middle school. Not to brag, but I was an A student in most of my classes, including English. But when I met my husband, I could not speak it at all. Surprise!

The real language learning began when I had to explain him what I do in my life. I simply had no other choice, but work hard to make myself clear.

It is no different for children. Our little ones have to connect regularly with people who do not speak their majority language. Here are some ideas how to do it:

• Travel to the countries of your minority language
• Meet with people who do not speak child’s majority language
• Host an Au-pair
• Sign up for full immersion languages classes
• Organize Skype lessons in target language (it does not have to be focused on language itself – your child can has singing, drawing, guitar, craft and other lessons with native speaker)
• Try summer language camps
• Hire a nanny
• Create family rules, for example: only minority language in the house; regular reading in the second language; all media only in your mother tongue; pretend that you don’t understand (works good with small children) etc.

The last point could be considered “made-up” need – not real – because parents who need family rules usually speak community language very well. Some parents don’t feel comfortable pretending that they don’t understand the child; or imposing strict language policies. The tactics mentined above definitely need “to agree” with you as a parent. Nevertheless, family rules can become life-savers that keep the language alive until real need will appear.

Reason # 2: Low Vocabulary

When you enroll your daughter in piano class or sign up your son for a basketball team, it is very unlikely that they will be learning those skills by passively watching their teachers perform. No. Your daughter will have to practice her scales everyday to master piano. Your son will have to shoot hundreds hoops to become a good player.

It is no different with second language.

In order to actively use the language, your child will need to practice speaking it.

As opposed to monolingual peers, bilingual children have a choice in which language to speak. It is especially true for families, where parents speak majority language. As a result, they absorb the language and understand it very well, but they don’t want to practice speaking it.

Note, that understanding the language is a very valuable skill. But if your goal for your child is active language use, you will need to work on building vocabulary with her.

Here are some practical suggestions on how you can be improving children’s fluency on a daily basis:

• Interactive reading: ask a lot of questions; stop and discuss whats happening in the book; dramatize the story; ask your  child what is going to happen next etc.
• Ask your child to repeat after you. I literally ask my kids to repeat the words after me in Russian or Ukrainian. After several times they are able to use them on their own.