06. Listening to Parents: We don't always have to know everything!

https://swiy.co/WhatAreYourThoughts

Have you ever looked at your child or a patient and just thought, ‘oh my God, I don’t know how to fix this’? You’re not alone and we’ll talk about this today with our guest Sandy Fowler, host of the Mighty Parenting Podcast. Sandy is a stress relief and wellness coach, a wife, mom, and business owner whose passion is teaching people to make powerful choices that impact their lives in the best possible way and help them take back their life from the busyness and stress of modern-day living. 

Let’s get right into the episode and learn from Sandy how we as pediatricians don’t always have to know everything, and what it looks like to partner with parents to learn together.  

[00:01 - 08:13] Opening Segment

• Introducing today's guest and my friend, Sandy Fowler, and what we will be talking about
• Met on her podcast to talk about the topic of suicide prevention for parents
• Listen to my guest appearance on her podcast here
• Sandy gives us a bit of background on her story 
• Help parents learn emotional wellness tools 
• Why this age group 
• You don’t have to know the answer, just understand that you’re not alone

[08:14 - 13:01] Shhhh, Just Listen and Check Yourself 

• Sandy talks about common themes she finds on her show 
• Our teens still need us, but it needs to look different
• Listening - a safe place to talk
• Coaching
• Modeling what it is we want them to do 
• Listening and coaching for kids 
• Parents need to be willing to check themselves 
• Pediatricians should help, not judge 
• Recognize and acknowledge things in yourself 
• Self-regulation 
• Try not to blow up 

[13:02 - 24:56] We Don’t Always Have to Know 

• Sandy shares her experience with pediatricians 
• Expectation of partnership 
• Sometimes the doctor just doesn’t know what to do and end up doing the wrong thing 
• Be okay not knowing as a pediatrician 
• Be honest with the parents 
• Explore options as partners 
• Sandy talks about a positive story with her daughter and her doctor 
• Non-disclosure 
• Gave the option to speak directly 
• There is help 
• I talk about our training as a pediatrician 
• Acting on things you may not know 
• A parent wants to know they have help, not just an answer 
• Sometimes it’s a skills issue 
• “I don’t have a pill for a messy family” 
• Chaos impacts behavior 
• Sometimes we can’t just fix the kid 
• Sandy talks about what we can do to help the family 
• Non-judgmental 
• Partnership and options  
• Realize that the issues can connect to a still-developing brain 

[24:57 - 30:07] Calmness is Key 

• Communication with the child is key
• Don’t panic 
• Our calmness helps the child 
• Pause and let the silence sit until the child is ready   
• I give an example with a code lead manager 

[30:08 - 39:34] Closing Segment

• A word for parents
• Your kids will be okay 
• Accept what you don’t know 
• We can be there for parents 
• The silence is necessary for processing things 
• Let