Get Unstuck with Murielle Marie

Murielle Marie
Get Unstuck with Murielle Marie

Have you always felt like an outsider? That you don’t fit in any box? That you’re living more for others than for yourself? I feel you! Sometimes we just need the courage to say ”f*ck it!” and break free from everything that holds us back in life. I’m Murielle Marie, a writer and philosopher. I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 20 years and am now a Career and Business Coach for almost 10. Getting Unstuck is my mantra. And it can be yours! So, let’s grab a cup of coffee (or tea) together on Monday mornings. Let’s think and reflect on what’s holding you back from living life to the fullest. You can expect crazy but effective exercises, slightly weird but fun experiments, and little acts of daily rebellion to try out. It will be super fun, I promise. Let’s do this!

  1. 24.07.2023

    #23 Grit: why it matters, and what you can do to get more of it

    Yay. Finally, another podcast episode. I know it’s been too long. Life got in the way. And my creative mind, of course, came up with all these new projects and business ideas that were just screaming for me to do something with them. As a good creative generalist, I had to give them some attention. It’s a bit too much at times, I won’t lie, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Building new things, starting new ventures, helping others… it’s all play to me; I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to do what I love every day.  But so, yes, I’m back with an episode of the “Get Unstuck” podcast. My name is Murielle Marie, and I’m your host. A serial entrepreneur, creative generalist, writer, life-long learner, and career and business coach who loves to share the golden nuggets I pick up on how to do this thing called life. This week’s episode is inspired by my recent absence from this podcast while building new projects. There are many things you need to keep going when you’ve decided to venture out as an entrepreneur or when you’ve decided to finally pursue your dreams, whatever they may be. But one of the things you need the most, and that is currently not talked about enough, is grit. That’s why today, we're diving deep into the power of grit, the secret sauce that can make all the difference in our lives and businesses. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let's embark on a journey to discover how we can cultivate more of this invaluable trait. Ok, Grit. It's a word that resonates with strength, determination, and unwavering resolve. Google speaks of courage, resolve, and strength of character. I believe it’s what separates the dreamers from the doers, those who succeed from those who fail. In a world where instant gratification often takes center stage, the importance of grit cannot be overstated. Truly. I want to start with a real-life scenario highlighting the importance of grit in the workplace. Recently, a friend and client in his late thirties, who owns a chain of restaurants, shared a rather compelling story with me. One of his pizza places had just hired a new employee. It was her first week, and in the middle of a busy shift, she suddenly took off her apron and left on the spot, claiming that the hectic pace of the restaurant "was not good for her." Now, this incident might seem like just a momentary blip, but it reflects a broader issue in today's world—a lack of grit and resilience in the face of challenges. In a society where everything should be frictionless, some people may struggle to navigate demanding environments like a restaurant. As ambitious creatives, dreamers, careerists, entrepreneurs and business owners, we must recognize the significance of grit in our employees and ourselves. Grit isn't merely about tolerating difficult situations; it's about embracing them as opportunities for growth and learning.  But what is grit, really? It’s an invisible force. Because I’ve witnessed its power in my life and that of so many of my clients, I believe it’s what keeps us pushing forward when everything seems to be against us. It's the unyielding fire that fuels our progress and pushes us towards our goals. Yet, in today's fast-paced society, it feels like grit is slowly fading away. We live in a world where distractions are all around us and where the allure of immediate success can be tempting. We start something with enthusiasm, only to abandon it when the going gets tough. But here's the truth: true success rarely comes overnight. It's forged through tenacity, resilience, and, yes, grit. When I was younger, I would start many things but never finish them. Of course, some of that resulted from my generalist brain (I have some podcast episodes about generalists and the creative brain, so be sure to check them out to learn more), but there was more than that going on. I believe at the time, I didn't have the resolve or the grit that is necessary to push through challe

    18 мин.
  2. 29.05.2023

    #22 The Power of Talking Yourself Into Things Instead of Out of Them

    Welcome to a new episode of the "Get Unstuck" podcast, where we explore the limitless potential available to us and how to reach it. I’m your host Murielle Marie, and today, we're going to delve into a fascinating topic: the power of talking ourselves into things instead of talking ourselves out of them. So often, we find ourselves hesitating, doubting, and giving in to negative self-talk. But by shifting our mindset and embracing a positive self-narrative, we can unlock our true potential and achieve remarkable things. I’ve witnessed it in my life many times, and I see it in my coaching practice every day. That’s why I wanted to share about it in this episode. There is just so much to be gained from focusing on the positive instead of the negative. It’s truly life-changing.  Let me start by sharing a personal story. When I decided to become a coach back in 2014 (I know that’s almost a decade ago, and I cannot believe it!), one of the things I had to do in order to get “the word out there” about my new career and work, was to start a blog. If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you might know that I’m a writer, currently finishing her second book - titled, tada - “Get Unstuck!”. By the way, I’ll add a link to a sign-up form on my website if you’re interested to know when the book comes out next month. So I write, and I love it - at least non-fiction. Fiction, which I’m also doing through the writing academy here in Antwerp, is a whole different thing. And something that still humbles me more than it enchants me, as I work to try and get a thriller about generational trauma on to paper. Anyway, back to the blog.  When I first decided to start it, now almost 10 years ago, I couldn’t get a word onto paper. I spoke about this more in a previous episode of this podcast, especially about how it felt like I was battling a life-long writer’s block. The reason for it was: self-doubt and perfectionism crept in. So much so that I initially talked myself out of it, fearing failure and criticism. Luckily, I had a great coach at the time - my first one. Kate, this is a shout-out to you! I love you! She helped me see what was truly going on, and eventually got me writing. One of the things that helped the most was to shift the negative  self-talk around failure and criticism to positive self-talk about what the blog could mean for my business and my potential and future readers. When I think back on those first blog posts and how hard it was for me to write them, I can’t imagine even having felt that way. I still publish a new article on my blog and write a newsletter every other week. I write books, social media posts and so much more. It comes naturally to me now. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d allowed myself to buy into the negative self-talk. Would I have the business I have today? Would I even be speaking to you through this podcast right now? I don’t think so. Negative self-talk can be incredibly detrimental. It plants seeds of doubt, limits our beliefs, and hinders - or sometimes even stops - our progress. Have you ever found yourself talking yourself out of something, only to regret it later? Perhaps it was a chance to pursue a new career path, start a business, or even ask someone out on a date. If you have, it's time to change that narrative. The reality is: we all suffer from this. Every day in my work and my private life I am confronted with negative self-talk, doubts, insecurities, impostor syndrome. Just a few days ago, one of my strongest and most inspiring clients sent me a message telling me she was just a few inches away from throwing away all of the hard work she had done for her upcoming book. “I’m a failure, why would anyone want to read what I have to say, who am I to believe that I can offer something to the world, that my story matters?” This is someone who is incredible: smart, capable, resilient, funny, compassionate, strong… I mean, I reall

    20 мин.
  3. 15.05.2023

    #21 Don’t Let Your Failures Define You

    Hi! I’m back with a new episode of the "Get Unstuck with Murielle Marie," podcast, where we explore what it means to be stuck and find inspiration to live our best lives. I'm your host, Murielle Marie, and in today's episode, I want to dive deep with you into the subject of failure, and how to not let it define you. I’m going to start by sharing some personal stories of failure - ahum - from my own life and entrepreneurial adventures. I’ll add in a few stories from my coaching clients and offer a bit of a philosophical perspective on why our failures don't define us. Plus, we'll explore how we can transform failures into positive experiences. Let's get started! What’s the fear of failure and where does it come from? The fear of being wrong or making mistakes is often connected to perfectionism. And that’s certainly true. Being afraid of making a mistake or doing something “wrong” (quote - unquote) is something that we are conditioned into almost from the day that we’re born. As children we learn how to behave by being reprimanded for the mistakes that we make.  There’s also a neuroscientific and biological element to this: being able to learn from our mistakes is how our ancestors survived the planes of the Savannah, and how we have made it to today. So there are advantages to being able to recognize mistakes, learning from them and improving our choices and actions over time. However, and this is where things become tricky, for many (my former self included), the fear of failure can become so overwhelming that it gets us - and keeps us stuck. Being afraid to make mistakes is not only related to perfectionism; it's often a solid pull for staying where you are instead of trying to change your life. But the type of failure that keeps us stuck is a fallacy.  As I’ve mentioned, it's a construct we take with us from childhood, often given to us by caregivers or teachers. Since so much of our growing up centers around learning to play nice and avoiding mistakes when we finally reach adulthood, many have it drilled into our very core that taking any misstep is dangerous. If, as an adult, you’ve ventured out and made mistakes in your personal or professional life, that can add up to making it even harder to be willing to jump again and try new things. The fear that it might not work out can be a powerful block to achieve your dreams and goals.  But the reality is that we ALL, continuously, MAKE mistakes. AI, as a concept (yes, I’m going on a tangent here but bare with me for a second), is built on how our brain works (loosely). How does AI learn and become better? By making mistakes and improving its decision-making process based on what it learns from them. Of course, and this is why AI is so incredible and dangerous at the same time, since it has a capacity to make mistakes, it can also come to wrong conclusions and make big ones. There’s a really cool spreadsheet by the way, available online, and created by one of my favorite AI researchers, Victoria Krakovna. She has some great talks on YouTube as well (I’ll add some links in the show notes). The spreadsheet, which I’ll link in the show notes, is a running list of specification gaming in AI (AI systems coming up with "hacks" to solve problems). Those hacks, although clever, are mistakes or at least misinterpretations of the rules of the games. Needless to say, they’re usually not conducive to a game well played, although they are usually providing the AI system with a win. Google AI gaming hacks if you want to know more about it, it’s super interesting stuff! Anyway, back to the fear of making mistakes and not making mistakes define us. AI systems don’t really care about the mistakes they make, they just want to learn from them. In a way, it’s the same with us - or should be. But because there is such an emotional component to making mistakes - mostly because of other people and “what they will think” - mistakes and failure are often

    22 мин.
  4. 01.05.2023

    #20 How to stop systematically underestimating yourself

    Hello again! Happy Monday! Welcome to a new episode of the Get Unstuck! Podcast. I've been thinking about this episode for a while and am excited to share it! This week, I'll be discussing how to stop systematically underestimating yourself.  You know, when you're constantly putting yourself down, telling yourself you can't do something or that you're not good enough for a specific task. I'll discuss some techniques to help you recognize and reprogram your negative thought patterns and the power of reframing. Reframing has been so important in my life, and it's one of the techniques I often use with clients (or with you at the end of this episode) when I have them do real-life experiments. As a psychological technique, reframing helps us look at things, problems, challenges, ourselves, and our behavior from different angles. It can give us new perspectives and help us find new ways of being and experiencing the world in unexpected places.  So why do we tend to underestimate ourselves? It may stem from various factors, including low self-esteem, past failures, and societal pressures to conform to certain expectations. But whatever the cause, underestimating yourself can prevent you from achieving your full potential and living your desired life. Every time I dream up a big thing I want to do, when fear sets in, one of the things I do every single time is tell myself that I won't be able to make it. That's underestimating yourself. Perhaps you do it too. If you do, know that you're not alone. This is something so many people struggle with, often unconsciously. The thoughts come and go so fast that we mistake them for reality or assume that what we hear is who we are. But that is so far from the truth. The TEDx talk I gave a few years back is entitled "Don't believe anything you think," There's a good reason for that. Our thoughts are just that, thoughts. The voices in our heads are those of many people, not just our own - in fact, not often our own. They're the voices of our caretakers, peers, and society. On top of that, they're fleeting. They come and go, so why do we take them seriously? Why would we think they have something to do with reality or who we really are? I have some previous podcast episodes that talk in more detail about our brains and neocortex and give some answers to those questions. So feel free to give those a listen. For this episode, the vital thing to remember is that: you are not your thoughts. I first heard this in an 8-week mindfulness training I enrolled in over a decade ago. My parents had passed suddenly some months before that, and I was going through one of the darkest periods of my life. I'd never meditated, sat in a circle with others, and never shared my feelings openly with strangers. And I certainly never had given my thoughts a second thought. When I entered the room that first evening of class, I was convinced that everything I was hearing in my head was my truth and my voice. The teacher had us sit in a circle (ahem) and check-in. I'd never done that before; it felt so horribly uncomfortable.  After that, she started talking about the mind and how it plays tricks on us. I can still see and hear her say: "You know, you are not your thoughts; you don't have to believe them." I still get goosebumps every time I think about it (I got them now!). That was such an epiphany for me. Until that point, I had believed everything - EVERYTHING - my mind was telling me, making my life difficult, small, miserable even. My thoughts stressed me out and made me anxious; I never had a quiet moment in my head. There was always, always a conversation going on. Or an imaginary fight with all the people that did me wrong or didn't understand me. I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted; it was terrible. That first evening with the teacher changed my life. It was like a light switch going off in my head. Since then, whenever I hear myself think something that doesn't make me feel good or takes away from wh

    17 мин.
  5. 17.04.2023

    #19 Are you afraid of your dreams? Stop sabotaging yourself, and become the person you want to be

    Hi! It's Monday! And I'm back from NYC - the two weeks I spent there were amazing. This was - by far - the best trip I ever went on, and I can't wait to go back. There's just something about being in NYC as an entrepreneur... there's an energy that I can't find anywhere else. But for some strange reason (or maybe not so strange, I'll tell you all about it in a minute), this trip also made me start thinking about fear and how we sabotage ourselves from achieving our dreams. We're all capable of great things, but often, we let fear get in the way.  We keep ourselves small and play it safe instead of taking risks and pursuing what we want. I used to think this was about being afraid of failing - because if you never try anything new or challenging, you can't fail either. But I'm not so sure anymore. I used to think I feared my dreams because I couldn't make them come true. But now, after many years of achieving my goals and helping so many other people achieve theirs, too, I think there might be something else going on: I'm not afraid I won't make it, I'm afraid that I will - I'm afraid of what I perceive to be the "enormity" of my dreams, and NYC definitely unlocked that feeling for me. When I founded a software security start-up there back in 2015, I felt it too, but it was different. The dream was to try and see if it could work. When you put yourself in that headspace, you're not too attached to the outcome. Of course, you want it to succeed, but since you haven't done it before, it's healthy to be a little bit cautious about the potential success of your enterprise. At least, that is how I approach new things that I do and what I encourage my clients to do as well: you can't know for sure that something you've never done before will work. However, you can have a goal and do your best to achieve it. If you do: perfect! If you don't, no big deal: you learned something. And that learning will make it easier for you to succeed next time. So when I embarked on that start-up adventure in NYC back then, it was all about taking the plunge without knowing where I would land. And I was OK with that because it was all so new. That start-up did work out. I'm not associated with the project anymore, but that's because of personal reasons. I hope it's still going well, and I'm proud to have been part of it. But this most recent trip was different because my dreams are no longer small or new. I've done many things since, including investing in other people's businesses, building a successful international coaching practice, and writing a book in its third edition that sells well online. More recently, I've started incubating a new start-up project in the DEI and inclusivity field and fundraising for new and exciting initiatives. I'm eight years further along my entrepreneurial journey since launching that start-up.  It's crazy how life works. As a creative generalist, I know I need variety to stay engaged and inspired to do my best work. When I start to feel the "itch," that internal jitter that tells me it's time to start thinking about something else or something new, I've learned to follow it. What's cool about it is that the new thing I decide to do always builds on what I've done before. That's the "glue" I so often talk about. Creative entrepreneurs, or people with multiple interests and passions, can look very disorganized to the outside world. It's often unclear to others why we like what we like or do what we do. It's not unclear to us! We are the glue, the common denominator that makes everything come together and make sense. That's true for me and the new projects I'm putting together. So even though what I'm doing now is a logical continuation of my journey so far, combining everything I have learned, believe in, am passionate about, and want to create more of in the world - it also feels so much bigger and scarier. The reason is that I can't tell myself I'm just a beginner anymore; I can't pretend I haven't learned

    16 мин.

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Have you always felt like an outsider? That you don’t fit in any box? That you’re living more for others than for yourself? I feel you! Sometimes we just need the courage to say ”f*ck it!” and break free from everything that holds us back in life. I’m Murielle Marie, a writer and philosopher. I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 20 years and am now a Career and Business Coach for almost 10. Getting Unstuck is my mantra. And it can be yours! So, let’s grab a cup of coffee (or tea) together on Monday mornings. Let’s think and reflect on what’s holding you back from living life to the fullest. You can expect crazy but effective exercises, slightly weird but fun experiments, and little acts of daily rebellion to try out. It will be super fun, I promise. Let’s do this!

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