142: Best of: Codependency Doesn’t Exist with Shahem McLaurin

Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation.

I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Show Highlights:

●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people

●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews

●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors

●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged

●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language

●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time

●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe

●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool”

Resources and Links:

Connect with Shahem: ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠

Connect with KC: ⁠TikTok⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, and ⁠Facebook⁠

Get KC’s book, ⁠How to Keep House While Drowning⁠

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