Dear White Women

Sara and Misasha
Dear White Women

Biracial co-hosts Sara & Misasha - two wickedly smart, funny, compassionate best friends - have very mixed-race children between them, and are personally invested in helping to uproot systemic racism. Weekly episodes include interviews of people whose stories you might not often listen to; deep dives into history, psychology, and current events to explain why we are where we are as a country; and actions that you take right now to make change in your spheres. We're not perfect, but we're real. Join us on this journey.

  1. -1 J

    263: How Are You Trump-Proofing Your Life?

    We’ve arrived in 2025, and assuming President-Elect Trump is inaugurated, this means he will be the first president to take office convicted of felony crimes.  And since we know that an organization’s tone is often set by its leadership, we can’t help wondering: how will we see Trump’s leadership impact the culture of the United States, and how will this play out in our collective futures?   Let’s be real about where we are in this moment in history, courtesy of the Atlantic: “According to a report last year by the Varieties of Democracy Institute at the University of Gothenburg, in Sweden, when it comes to global freedom, we have returned to a level last seen in 1986. About 5.7 billion people—72 percent of the world’s population—now live under authoritarian rule. Even the United States, vaunted beacon of democracy, is about to inaugurate a president who openly boasts of wanting to be a “dictator on day one,” who regularly threatens to jail his opponents and sic the military on the “enemy within,” and who jokes about his election being the country’s last…..Many Americans understand today what political exhaustion and complacency look and feel like. But the dissident is the one who hopes against hope.”    We can’t imagine it’ll be particularly easy, but we do believe we have reason to hope. Hope is the consequence of action, and is often self-fulfilling (we act, we hope, we act some more). This is why today, we’re asking you this: How are YOU Trump-proofing your life?   What to listen for:  Putting self care first - like, REAL self care - and the story about Sara’s thunderclap headaches How to stay informed while keeping your sanity   Necessary mindsets, including trusting yourself, grieving, choosing your lane / letting go of the rest, getting real about power - and asking ourselves what we’re willing to sacrifice (comfort, convenience, or more) to stand up for what’s right Simple example: Do you believe fact-checking and real people are important parts of social media platforms? If so, will you get yourself off Meta’s platforms?  A reminder not to reinvent the wheel, but find and support organizations doing the work with your time, money, and energy.  Here’s a list to start with - let us know what organizations you support and we’ll add them to our list! Connect with Us! A reminder not to reinvent the wheel, but to find and support organizations doing the work with your time, money, and energy.  Here’s a list to start with - let us know what organizations you support and we’ll add them to our list! To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

    29 min
  2. 31/12/2024

    262: Farewell 2024, Hello 2025

    Tomorrow, we’ll be wishing our loved ones “akemashite omedetou gozaimasu” - or, Happy New Year, in Japanese.  If you’re a long-time listener, you know that DEI work (or whatever we’ll be calling it going forward) is personal to us.  We’re both the daughters of a Japanese immigrant parent and a white American parent each; the ideas of multiculturalism and difference are embedded in our DNA, and we were raised to have respect not only for our own diverse histories, but those of all others in the world - after all, we’re each only one of 8 billion people in the world, and you bet that everyone has their own story, their own way of living, thinking, and being in our society. On top of that, let’s be clear about our chosen families.  Misasha is married to a Black man and has two very multiethnic sons who are Black Japanese, and white.  We’ve spent years laying the groundwork to help you understand anti-Black racism, deconstruct the model minority myth, and more. Let us be clear - we do this work because if even one person reading, has an a-ha moment and changes their actions, or talks to someone about something they learned here which changes *their* actions - so Misasha’s boys can come home safe at night, or so you make decisions that might potentially improve or even save the lives of children who look like them - then we will have been successful. Sara is married to a white Canadian man and has two teenage girls the world presumes to be white. Doing the work to challenge our own assumptions about other people matters to us because not everybody is what they seem.  Standing against anti-immigration sentiment matters to us; understanding the link between systems of oppression that hurt not only Black people, but neurodivergent people, females, and so many others is critically important to us as well. So far, we have hosted 262 episodes of the Dear White Women podcast because helping people listen, learn, and act differently to help uproot systemic racism is what we need to make the world truly equitable for ALL of us - this is the foundation, the work starts here.  And we cannot do it without your help. In 2025, we’ll be speaking to organizations - schools, companies, ERGs, and more - about two topics we think are critically important at this point in history:  Why equity and inclusion matters now more than ever - the psychology of belonging How to have difficult conversations. If you have groups you think would benefit, or know people who could hire us in their organizations, please connect us.  You can reach us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com anytime.  What else to listen for:  Reflecting on the most surprising and memorable parts of 2024 Our thoughts on the kakistocracy - the Economist’s word of the year meaning, the rule of the worst. And where we go from here in 2025…

    23 min
  3. 17/12/2024

    261: How I Stopped Being a Model Minority, with Anne Anlin Cheng

    Today’s episode seems to be addressing this question: does politics show up in our everyday lives? Maybe even in our most intimate relationships?   And while a lot of folks may be saying politics doesn’t impact me, I don’t do politics… we think the actual answer for most of us in this country is a resounding YES (in fact, we’ve recorded whole episodes and written whole book chapters on this very topic!).  Yes, politics impacts our daily lives, including being in our marriages, our parent-child relationships, and more.   We’re privileged to have this conversation with someone who took the chance to use her voice in a new way - moving from academia and diving bravely into personal essays - in order to help us all hear one person’s journey confronting the Model Minority Myth that so many Asian folks in America are impacted by, and inspiring us along the way.   What to listen for: The challenge in determining where the forces that shape us end, and the “real us” begins - especially when it comes to deconstructing the Model Minority Myth, or even untangling ourselves from notions like the American Dream How politics shows up in our most intimate relationships - including marriage Examples of how white folks can show up, or not, for issues around multiculturalism Where our education system is having to go to meet the population where they are when it comes to talking about politics - we’re now back to discussing civility, empathy, what it means to be a citizen, and the common good About our guest:   Anne Anlin Cheng was born in Taiwan, grew up in the American South, and is the author of three books on American racial politics and aesthetics. Her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, the Los Angeles Review of Books, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. Cheng is the 2023–2024 Ford Scholar in Residence at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. She is a professor of English and a former director of American Studies at Princeton University and lives in Princeton, New Jersey.

    53 min
  4. 03/12/2024

    260: The Anti-Ableist Manifesto, with Tiffany Yu

    There are SO many insightful conversations and incredible stories we’ve shared on this show, and this one was yet another example of one where we went in thinking one thing, and came out thinking another.  Because we’ll be talking with an incredible advocate about ableism and disabilities - a label that, if we aren’t already impacted by it, is a label that - statistically speaking - we may all one day live long enough to be impacted by. We all want to be paying attention.   And maybe, just maybe, if you learn through this episode that the way you thought about ability and disability is different than what you previously assumed, maybe, just maybe, you’ll also be open to learning more about race and racism, age and ageism, sex and sexism, anti LGBTQIA+ sentiment, and more.  All of these systems of oppression are linked. And we’re so glad that we were able to be in community with someone that we personally know is such a powerful woman in this space for this discussion. What to listen for:  Tiffany’s personal journey, and the importance of disability inclusion Some significant stats and perspective - including that 61 million Americans, or one in four adults, have disabilities, making it the largest minority group The "me, we, us" framework to address personal unlearning and systemic change Practical shifts from ableist language – such as "suffering from" to "living with" disabilities The importance of supporting disabled individuals' livelihoods, including the need for inclusive hiring practices, the impact of accessibility on product design, and advocating for a culture that values vulnerability and support About our guest: Tiffany Yu is the CEO & Founder of Diversability, an award-winning social enterprise to elevate disability pride, the Founder of the Awesome Foundation Disability Chapter, and the author of The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World. Her TED Talk, How to Help Employees with Disabilities Thrive, has over one million views.   She serves on the NIH National Advisory Board on Medical Rehabilitation Research and was a Co-Chair of the World Economic Forum Sustainable Development Impact Summit. At the age of 9, Tiffany became disabled as a result of a car accident that also took the life of her father.

    36 min
  5. 19/11/2024

    259: Making and Maintaining Friendships, with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    We’ve had a lot of focus on this show leading into Election 2024 about the state of the country and the deep divides that we’re seeing in society.  We’re grateful to and for everyone who worked to ensure that democracy worked in early November. AND, given the election results, we know that these divides still exist and have the ability to grow even deeper.    What can we do about that? One step that we can take right now is to examine how we talk to each other, to better connect. So today, we focus on the good stuff - building community, nurturing friendships, and coming together with a lot of meaning and joy. And given who we are, of course, we don’t just do it alone - we do it in partnership with a leading psychologist who specializes in developing friendships, showcased in her NYT bestselling book Platonic, and who - alongside us in our multi-racial identities, also has personal experience driving her desire to help more of us understand how to belong, and find those connections in the world.    Listen for so many scientific frameworks about: The importance of friendships - because so many of us make them less of a priority! Three types of loneliness: intimate, relational, and collective How adults make friends Nurturing our existing friendships What we need to consider when building relationships with those different than us Action items:  Reflect on what is truly meaningful and important in your life, and be intentional about making time for those things. Consider evaluating your existing friendships and community based on factors like authenticity, energy exchange, and shared values. Be brave and put in the effort to make new friends, even if it feels uncomfortable at first - i.e. get over our overt and covert avoidance! Explore internal work to develop a stronger sense of self, which can help in tolerating and nurturing healthy relationships. About our guest:    An enlightening psychologist, TED speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities.  For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), or go to her website,www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements.

    35 min
  6. 22/10/2024

    257: Abortion is About Women’s Health and Human Rights. Vote Like It.

    When we first recorded this episode, we were at the end of the Trump presidency, when we still had a legal right to abortion in this country. Roe v. Wade was still the law of the land, and women had access to safe abortion options in many states. Now, on the eve of the 2024 Presidential elections, abortion is on the ballot in a post-Dobbs world, where we have women dying because they cannot get legal abortions, and there’s a whole bunch of lawmakers (mostly White dudes) who want to tell women what they can and cannot do with their own bodies. Oh, and don’t be fooled by Melania’s sudden desire to be pro-choice: there’s only one Presidential candidate who cares about women’s health and human rights (of which abortion is one), and her name doesn’t end with Trump. So, take this as your reminder to vote for the candidate who cares about women - not about sexually assaulting them, but about their healthcare, their agency, and their bodies. And also, hopefully, as you listen to this re-release, you find that there are so many people out there fighting for women’s health care and reproductive justice, just like If/When/How and Mariko Miki are, and that there is a real community in this. That part is hope personified. And that is what we need to lean into now as well. So vote. And hold onto that hope. Have questions, comments, or concerns?  Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. What to listen for: What is a self-managed abortion anyway? What are some of the issues when it comes to criminalizing reproductive decision making?  Sign a petition here. How we need to destigmatize abortion and decriminalize women’s reproductive lives. The groundbreaking work If/When/How is doing in spearheading a legal defense fund for reproductive justice. Resources people can use, including: a Reproductive Legal Helpline for anybody thinking about a self-managed abortion,  and the latest state-by-state information on what’s happening in the legal landscape of women’s reproductive rights (with a quick escape button if you need to close the browser immediately). For this episode, we spoke with Mariko Miki, who is the Managing Director and General Counsel at If/When/How: Lawyering for Reproductive Justice, where she oversees the organization’s programs, people, and policies. Joining If/When/How in 2010, Mariko designed, launched, and directed the Reproductive Justice Fellowship Program, now in its 10th year, and worked to expand reproductive rights and justice course offerings in legal academia. Mariko has served on the Advisory Board of TEACH (Training in Early Abortion for Comprehensive Healthcare) and the Board of Directors for Exhale Pro-Voice, and was a 2019 Rockwood Leadership Reproductive Health, Rights, and Justice Fellow. Mariko graduated from Brown University and Harvard Law School. Relevant episodes:  Ep. 190: Why abortion became political Ep. 92: Real talk about abortions, with Dr. Jenn Ep. 198: Everything adoption – and we mean EVERYTHING – with Patrick Armstrong Ep. 46: Our conversation with abortion provider Dr Jenn. Ep. 47: The bridge between reproductive rights and health care. Ep. 13: Racial disparities in the U.S. healthcare system when it comes to Black moms.   Like what you hear? Support us through Patreon!   Don’t miss another episode and subscribe to the podcast!   Follow us on Instagram  – and don’t miss our new anti-racism action calendar by joining our email list.

    46 min
  7. 08/10/2024

    256: Trump is Still a Liar, Including Project 2025: Why Harris is the Only Choice

    Trump lies repeatedly.  He’s shown us who he is.  He’ll continue to try distancing himself from Project 2025 because it’s come under fire in public and he’s very image-savvy, but be very, very clear - this is his policy agenda outline.  Listen to more of Trump’s policies in his own words, along with more on Project 2025, in this episode. And if you want to do more, consider doing these things:  Register to vote and text your entire family and friend network to ensure they’re registered to vote - and ask if everybody has a plan for how to get their ballots in Go to VoteForward and Center for Common Ground and write postcards - do this quick Follow Erin Gallagher and the #hypewomen for Kamala - they’re mobilizing white women to take action, and the latest even got Oprah’s attention! Listen to Episode 254 with activist Sam Chavez on what else you can be doing. What to listen for: Why we think having Trump in a second term is FAR more dangerous than many expect. The harms that will befall our country, because of things like his views on:   Immigration and making America a white-supremacist centered nation, Ukraine and what that says about his desire to pander to the influence of outside nations, His hatred of the press and what that indicates about his desire to turn America into an authoritarian state,  Violence, and how a deeper threat of control and violence will eventually impact every American citizen  Abortion, and what this means for every woman, mother, and person capable of bearing a child, including families overall.  Do not look away from the massive threat Trump poses for our country. Please ACTIVELY VOTE for Kamala Harris to keep this from happening.  Link to Trump’s Authoritarian Playbook 2025: https://www.authoritarianplaybook2025.org/

    43 min
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À propos

Biracial co-hosts Sara & Misasha - two wickedly smart, funny, compassionate best friends - have very mixed-race children between them, and are personally invested in helping to uproot systemic racism. Weekly episodes include interviews of people whose stories you might not often listen to; deep dives into history, psychology, and current events to explain why we are where we are as a country; and actions that you take right now to make change in your spheres. We're not perfect, but we're real. Join us on this journey.

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