The Crux

Ryan Ginn
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The Crux

I'm Ryan Ginn and on The Crux I'll be tackling the most important questions around men's experiences in relationships, with the goal of giving men real, concrete steps to help them move out of frustrating places and towards feeling more confident in their relationships.

  1. 3일 전

    The Intimacy Blueprint Preview: Module 4, The Power of Repair in Relationships

    In this episode, Luke Adler and I explore the crucial skill of repair in relationships—one that can make or break long-term connection. Drawing from my experience with hundreds of couples, I break down how navigating conflict with vulnerability and empathy strengthens intimacy. We discuss how to acknowledge your partner’s feelings without defensiveness, why conflict reveals deeper relationship needs, and how shifting from self-protection to attunement can transform moments of tension. I also share a personal story of struggling with defensiveness in my own marriage and what ultimately led to meaningful repair. Effective repair is a learnable skill—and one we dive deep into in The Intimacy Blueprint. Tune in and start building a stronger, more connected partnership.

    24분

  2. 3월 22일

    How Men Can Initiate Repair to Build the Relationship they Want

    In this episode, we explore how men can effectively facilitate repair in their relationships, especially when they need it most. Luke Adler joins me to discuss how cultural conditioning discourages men from recognizing and expressing their needs—often leading to disconnection, resentment, or emotional outbursts. Through personal stories, we highlight the importance of mutual accountability, the pitfalls of passive aggression, and the power of vulnerability in creating a culture of repair. We also discuss how men can navigate resistance when expressing their needs and build the relational skills necessary for deeper intimacy. Join us as we challenge traditional masculinity and encourage men to embrace their emotions for stronger, healthier relationships. And if you want to dive deeper, The Intimacy Blueprint starts April 15th—learn more at beingmen.net! 00:00:00 - Introduction to Men's Needs in Relationships 00:01:22 - Cultural Conditioning and Vulnerability 00:02:50 - Personal Example: The Salt Shaker Incident 00:05:08 - The Importance of Mutual Accountability 00:05:49 - Passive Aggression and Unmet Needs 00:07:40 - Another Personal Example: The Potluck Experience 00:10:39 - Navigating Anger and Vulnerability 00:11:46 - Challenges in Vulnerability and Repair 00:12:55 - The Role of Trauma in Relationship Dynamics 00:15:27 - Creating a Culture of Repair 00:16:31 - Taking Turns in Repair Conversations 00:19:06 - The Importance of Time in Conflict Resolution 00:21:19 - Conclusion and Course Announcement

    22분

  3. 2월 22일

    Navigating Political Discussions in Relationships: Ground Rules for Couples

    In this episode, Luke and I explore how political differences can create tension in romantic relationships—and how to navigate them with empathy. We discuss the challenges of fixed perspectives, power dynamics, and emotional reactions, sharing practical strategies for fostering understanding instead of conflict. From setting ground rules to practicing "political empathy," we break down how to engage in tough conversations without sacrificing connection. Whether in your relationship, friendships, or family, these insights can help you build stronger, more respectful dialogues. For more tools on deepening communication, check out our upcoming 6-week online course, The Intimacy Blueprint. 00:00:00 - Navigating Political Discussions in Relationships 00:02:00 - The Volatility of Political Conversations 00:05:20 - Power Dynamics in Relationships 00:07:10 - The Importance of Connection and Collaboration 00:09:00 - Real-Life Example: A Morning Conversation 00:12:00 - Establishing Intent in Discussions 00:13:30 - Suspending Beliefs for Understanding 00:14:15 - The Super Skill of Communication 00:18:00 - Choosing Connection Over Self-Righteousness 00:20:00 - The Challenge of Meeting Distress 00:22:00 - The Intimacy Blueprint: A Path to Relational Growth 00:25:00 - Moving Beyond Survival Reflexes 00:28:00 - The Effort of Empathy in Relationships 00:30:00 - Encouragement for Practicing New Skills 00:31:00 - Closing Remarks and Resources

    31분

  4. 1월 25일

    Preparing for Couples Therapy: A Guide for Men

    In this episode, we delve into the often daunting world of couples therapy, particularly from the perspective of men who may feel apprehensive. We focus on how men can prepare for and benefit from the process and emphasize that effective therapy goes beyond communication; it requires thinking deeper about relationship dynamics and emotional safety. If you're new to understanding our perspective on long-term, committed relationships, we recommend reading "Wired for Love" or "In Each Other's Care" to build foundational knowledge. We discuss the misconception that therapy is about identifying one partner as "the problem." Instead, we encourage viewing therapy as a chance to understand each other better, recognizing that both partners contribute to the relationship's challenges. We also address the societal pressures that may make men hesitant to seek help, stressing the importance of finding a skilled therapist who fosters balanced dialogue. Men need to identify and express their personal needs in therapy, moving beyond surface complaints to deeper emotional requirements. We highlight the importance of effective repair after conflicts, noting that men often struggle with over-explaining rather than simply acknowledging their partner's hurt. Emotional presence and empathy are crucial for building intimacy. Educating yourself, approaching couple's therapy as a learning opportunity, and engaging in the emotional work necessary for healing are the key steps for getting the most from your couple's therapy work and building more intimacy in your partnership. Thank you for listening, and please share this episode with anyone who might benefit! Good luck out there! 00:00:00 - Introduction to Couples Therapy Preparation 00:01:00 - Understanding the Need for Communication 00:02:00 - Reading Recommendations for Better Understanding 00:03:00 - Reframing Couples Therapy as a Learning Opportunity 00:04:00 - The Role of the Therapist: Not a Judge 00:05:00 - Men's Resistance to Therapy and Power Dynamics 00:06:00 - The Importance of Shared Responsibility in Relationships 00:07:00 - Expectations from Couples Therapy 00:08:00 - Identifying Personal Needs in the Relationship 00:09:00 - The Dangers of Not Expressing Needs 00:10:00 - The Importance of Effective Repair in Relationships 00:11:00 - Understanding Emotional Dynamics in Repair 00:12:00 - The Anatomy of Hurt and Its Impact 00:13:00 - The Process of Healing and Trust Restoration 00:14:00 - The Role of Empathy in Repairing Relationships 00:15:00 - Recap of Key Points for Couples Therapy Preparation 00:16:00 - Upcoming Programs and Resources for Men 00:17:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action

    35분
  5. Beyond Survival: Cultivating Nourishment for Presence & Connection in Relationships

    1월 10일

    Beyond Survival: Cultivating Nourishment for Presence & Connection in Relationships

    In this episode, I sit down with my co-host Luke to delve into a crucial topic that affects many men today: the struggle to feel competent and fulfilled in their primary relationships. We explore the foundational issues that often hinder men from engaging fully in their relationships, particularly the balance between work, self-care, and emotional presence. We begin by discussing the common dynamic we observe—well-meaning men who work tirelessly to provide for their families, often at the expense of their own emotional and physical well-being. Luke articulates the internal conflict many men face: the fear that prioritizing their well-being will lead to a decrease in their ability to provide financially. This fear is deeply rooted in societal programming that equates a man's worth with his ability to provide. As we navigate this conversation, we highlight the importance of shifting from a fight-or-flight response to a more relaxed, connected state. Luke shares his personal journey of confronting the fear that had gripped him for years, likening it to a frozen state that numbed his ability to feel exhaustion and ultimately led to burnout. He recounts how, through consistent work with other men and a supportive community, he began to thaw out emotionally, allowing him to reconnect with his true self and experience joy in a more embodied way. We emphasize that many men may not even realize they are operating in a state of numbness, as it has become a normalized part of their identity. The conversation touches on the necessity of external support and brotherhood in helping men recognize and confront these layers of numbness and exhaustion. Towards the end of the episode, we discuss practical steps men can take to improve their relationships, starting with self-care. Luke suggests simple yet effective actions, such as booking regular massages or seeking other forms of bodywork, to help men reconnect with their bodies and emotions. We stress that investing in self-care is not just a luxury but a necessity for fostering healthier relationships with partners and children. Ultimately, this episode serves as an invitation for men to reflect on their own experiences and consider how they can begin to prioritize their well-being. By doing so, they can cultivate a deeper emotional presence that enriches their relationships and allows them to show up as more engaged partners and fathers. Join us as we unpack these vital themes and encourage a shift towards a more nourished and fulfilled life. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Men's Well-Being 00:01:30 - The Conflict Between Well-Being and Providing 00:03:30 - The Nervous System Dynamics 00:05:00 - Personal Journey of Awakening 00:06:30 - Fear as a Driving Force 00:08:00 - The Impact of Numbness on Life 00:10:00 - The Importance of Brotherhood and Support 00:12:00 - Emotional Availability in Relationships 00:14:00 - The Foundation of Relational Competence 00:16:00 - Resourcing Yourself for Connection 00:18:00 - The Male Nourishment Crisis 00:20:00 - Practical Steps for Self-Care 00:24:00 - Conclusion and Final Thoughts

    27분

  6. 2024. 12. 16.

    Navigating the Shadow of Competence in Relationships

    In this episode, my guest, Luke Adler, and I, Ryan Ginn, challenge you to reflect on how the shadow of competence affects your relationships, especially as a man. We share personal stories—like a vulnerable moment I experienced with my partner, Eden, over household chores—and explore how fears of inadequacy can trigger defensiveness and hurt communication. Luke adds humor and insight with his own experiences navigating his wife Emily’s high standards for home management. Together, we unpack the cultural pressures of masculinity that fuel these fears and push you to consider how they might show up in your own life. We offer practical strategies for improving communication, recognizing emotional triggers, and embracing vulnerability as a way to foster deeper connections. We also highlight the power of men’s groups as supportive spaces where you can let go of societal expectations and grow in self-awareness. By facing your imperfections head-on, you can create stronger, more compassionate relationships with your loved ones and yourself.

    33분

  7. 2024. 09. 13.

    27. Why Men’s Work Actually Works, and Exploring the Masculine-Feminine Relationship Dynamic

    In this episode, my guest Luke Adler and I explore the transformative journey of men's work, delving into the unconscious parts of ourselves that influence our behavior and relationships. Our focus is on fostering deep personal growth, emotional intelligence, and healthier relationships for men. We often get asked: Why do a men’s retreat? Isn’t one-on-one therapy more effective? Surprisingly, no! The power of a men’s group is that it provides crucial support, fosters vulnerability, and promotes personal development. We identify common barriers to intimacy and offer insights into overcoming these challenges to achieve deeper connections. In this podcast episode, we compare the benefits of group work in men's circles with traditional one-on-one therapy. Group work offers a sense of community and shared experiences that can be more impactful than individual therapy sessions. Join us this summer for a transformational Men’s Work Retreat - where you will receive: Practical Tools to help you become a more compassionate, curious and courageous partner Presence and mindfulness practices to deepen and stabilize your relationship Methods to remain in your integrity even when things in life get difficult Impactful new ways to develop resilience to life’s inevitable ups and downs Relational leadership and communication skills

    47분

  8. 2023. 12. 02.

    Riding Emotional Waves: Unveiling the World of Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

    The Crux

    15분
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    I'm Ryan Ginn and on The Crux I'll be tackling the most important questions around men's experiences in relationships, with the goal of giving men real, concrete steps to help them move out of frustrating places and towards feeling more confident in their relationships.

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      Ryan Ginn
    • 방송 연도
      2022년 - 2025년
    • 에피소드
      28
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