28. Embracing Midlife: Dr. Shayna Kaufmann on Finding Wisdom, Strength and Joy Beyond Menopause

In this enlightening conversation, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Shayna Kaufmann about her book 'Embrace the Middle.' We delved into the challenges and gifts of midlife for women, discussing the importance of shifting perspectives on menopause, the SOFTT method for navigating midlife challenges, and the significance of self-compassion and resilience. Dr. Kaufmann emphasized the need for open conversations about aging and encouraged women to embrace their wisdom and experiences as they navigate this transformative stage of life.

Episode Highlights

The Inspiration Behind 'Embrace the Middle'

Dr. Kaufmann shared that her own journey through menopause and other midlife challenges inspired her to write the book. She wanted to find a way to navigate these changes more gracefully and powerfully, drawing from her meditation practice and real-life experiences.

The SOFTT Method

I was particularly impressed with Dr. Kaufmann's SOFTT method for handling difficult moments:

- S: Slow down

- O: Observe thoughts and feelings

- F: Feel bodily sensations

- T: Tenderness (self-compassion)

- T: Tune into inner wisdom

Dr. Kaufmann provided a powerful example of using this method when dealing with her mother-in-law's cancer diagnosis, demonstrating how it can help in real-life situations.

Challenges and Gifts of Midlife

We discussed the top challenges women face in midlife, including:

1. Physical decline

2. Death and loss

3. Caregiving demands (the "sandwich generation" issue)

However, Dr. Kaufmann also emphasized the often-overlooked gifts of midlife:

- Wisdom

- Comfort in one's skin

- Resilience

- More fulfilling friendships

- Greater self-awareness

Changing the Midlife Paradigm

Dr. Kaufmann and I talked about the need to shift society's view of midlife women. Some key points included:

- Having more open conversations about menopause

- Welcoming and celebrating midlife beauty

- Addressing ageism and sexism

- Celebrating women's accomplishments in midlife

Finding Direction in Midlife

For women struggling to find meaning or direction, Dr. Kaufmann advised:

- Giving yourself grace during this uncomfortable period

- Staying open-hearted and open-minded

- Exploring new interests without rushing

- Tapping into wisdom and self-awareness

The Power of Stillness

We discussed the importance of finding stillness in a culture that values constant activity. Dr. Kaufmann suggested starting small, even with just three breaths, to begin cultivating this practice.

Personal Reflections

As someone with teenage daughters, I found Dr. Kaufmann's insights on the evolving nature of motherhood particularly touching. Her description of the beautiful adult-like relationships that develop as children grow older gave me a positive perspective on the changes to come.

I also appreciated her emphasis on embracing the physical changes of midlife. As someone who has struggled with body image, her message of self-acceptance was powerful and liberating.

Connect with Dr. Shayna Kaufmann

Embrace the Middle

linktr.ee/embracethemiddle 

www.instagram.com/shaynakauffmann 

Connect with Me

Learn more about the Women Mastering Midlife Community: www.msvictoriabyrd.com/community

Free 1:1 Coaching Consult Call with Victoria: www.msvict