30 Minutes of Calm- Episode #789

Todd and Cathy bring calm in the context of an upcoming election. They discussed the importance of self-compassion, its three components, and the concept of mindfulness, emphasizing that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding. They also highlighted the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future, and the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions.

For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.

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Zen Parenting Radio: Calm and Election
In this episode of Zen parenting radio, Todd and Kathy aim to bring some calm to their audience, particularly in the context of an upcoming election. They decided to record a 30-minute podcast of calm, without any sales pitches or discussions about their conference or book. The podcast was recorded on November 2nd and scheduled to be released on November 5th. The hosts also experimented with a study music track in the background, but were unsure if it would be effective.

Self-Compassion and Radical Acceptance
Todd discussed the importance of self-compassion, particularly in times of anxiety or overwhelm. He shared his personal experiences with fear and anxiety, noting that he tends to freeze up and become paralyzed when faced with fear. Todd emphasized the need for self-compassion to keep moving forward despite these feelings. He also acknowledged that he tends to compartmentalize, while his colleague tends to be more spongy. Todd stressed the importance of radical self-acceptance and awareness of one’s situation to make shifts towards feeling more. He also noted that not everyone experiences self-criticism or wishes to be different, and that some people may be more concerned with external challenges.

Self-Compassion: A More Stable Sense
Todd discussed the concept of self-compassion, its origins in research by Kristen Neff, and its distinction from self-esteem. He highlighted that self-esteem often relies on external validation and comparison, whereas self-compassion is more accepting and understanding, especially in times of failure. Todd also emphasized the importance of self-compassion in fostering a more connected and supportive environment, both for oneself and others. He concluded by noting that self-compassion provides a more stable sense of self-worth over time, which is particularly relevant for parents dealing with their children’s struggles.

The Power of Self-Compassion
Todd discussed the importance of self-compassion and its three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. He emphasized that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding, which allows for clearer thinking and better decision-making. Todd also highlighted the potential negative effects of self-judgment and the importance of acknowledging and directing attention away from the inner critic. He concluded by stating that self-compassion enables individuals to recognize their mistakes and make different choices, leading to personal growth and development.

Mindfulness: Awareness and Self-Kindness Journey
Todd discussed the concept of mindfulness, describing it as being aware of one’s surroundings and body without judgment. He emphasized that it’s a lifelong journey and not about achieving a specific state, but rather about being present in the moment. Todd also highlighted the importance of self-kindness when one’s mind wanders, and the need to recognize that one doesn’t have to stay in a negative state. He used personal experiences and practical examples to illustrate his points.

Balancing Emotions and Planning for Future
Todd discussed the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future. He acknowledged the difficulty of staying calm amidst uncertainty, such as the upcoming election, and the need to prepare mentally for potential outcomes. Todd also shared his personal experiences of hyperventilating due to worry about missing important moments with his children. He emphasized the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions. The conversation ended with Todd expressing his preference for the concept of ‘common humanity’ as a soothing and comforting idea.

Overcoming Loneliness and Ego’s Influence
Todd expressed his feelings of loneliness and isolation, despite being surrounded by people. He emphasized that he is not alone in his thoughts and experiences, as many others share similar desires and emotions. Todd also discussed the psychological aspects of feeling alone, attributing it to the ego and judgmental voices in our minds. He concluded by highlighting the importance of self-kindness and belonging in overcoming these feelings.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion in Stress
Todd discussed the importance of mindfulness and self-compassion in managing stress and maintaining a positive outlook. He emphasized that self-compassion is a strength, not a weakness, and it allows for better relationships with others. Todd also debunked common misconceptions about self-compassion, such as it making one lazy or selfish. He ended the conversation by playing calming music and encouraging participants to practice self-compassion.