A New Approach to Goals

Rethinking Goals: Finding Joy and Purpose Beyond the Checklist

Hey love, Jonathan is back with me today and as we were getting ready to record, I couldn’t help but reflect on how often goals—those shiny, specific, time-bound targets we’re told to set—end up feeling like something that’s holding us back instead of moving us forward. 

Goals have value, but if you put so much weight on them that you judge yourself by their completion, they can be demotivating. 

Jonathan shares that we’ve been told if it’s not specific, measurable, and time-bound, it’s useless. But that’s not true. We also overlook our changing desires and focus as it relates to our goals. He shared that dreaming big has become outdated or is sometimes treated as a joke. Dreams and intentions are what drive us forward. 

This struck a chord with me. How often do we box ourselves in, believing success means rigidly hitting targets, even when they don’t feel aligned with who we are or what we want?

We used the wellness wheel to talk about examples of a goal-setting process. 

Jonathan shared a personal story about his journey with meditation, a perfect metaphor for how we can reframe our goals. During a graduate school workshop, he studied with Buddhist monks who taught traditional stillness meditation. It didn’t take long for him to realize he was in big trouble. 

Jonathan tried hard to clear his mind, sit perfectly still, and follow the rules. By the final exam—a 45-minute stillness practice—he thought he had finally succeeded. But when the monk tapped him on the forehead, signaling the end of the session, he grinned and said, “You were still, but not in here,” pointing to his mind.

The lesson? Meditation doesn’t have to look one way. For Jonathan, it’s a walk among trees, the wind through an open car window, or savoring a good meal.

“You have to find what works for you,” he said. That freedom, that permission to adapt, was life changing. It’s a lesson we can all take into how we approach goals.

Sending you so much love. Be well.

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