Adoption: The Making of Me Louise Browne & Sarah Reinhardt

Rita W. Miller was relinquished into the social service foster care system at 6 months of age. In her mind, Rita believes that her biological mother made this decision, not because she did not want her, but because she wanted a better life for her baby. She believes that perhaps the mother thought that she was in no way able, capable, or possibly would not gain the capacity to raise this child. This is only speculation, as with the lives of adoptees, much of what they think about their early lives are self-imposed scenarios.

Rita remembers being in two foster homes prior to her adoption. In each, she recalls feeling like ‘a little girl, who lived with these people’. Never feeling part of a unit, much less a family. Not receiving the care and love that is normally cast upon a very young child, she lived a lonely and neglectful life. Early on, she learned to become independent, self-sufficient…. a Survivor.

Throughout this early journey, Rita had a social worker, who she believed was concerned, caring, and always working on her behalf to find her a good forever home. This social worker did just that, rescued her to a forever home, with loving, caring, and committed parents. They not only opened their home but also their hearts to this soon-to-be six-year-old child. This chapter of Rita’s life was filled with many
things that were unfamiliar to her, which made the transition to a permanent home quite the adjustment. Although this new family provided most of what she needed, there was always the missing link of knowing who she really was. She worked hard to be who these parents wanted and needed her to be, all the while, feeling awkward trying to meet their expectations. However, their persistence to mold her in their way, committed her to be motivated and determined to look deep within and find who she was meant to be.

Rita is eternally grateful for her adoption; however, struggles remain. She is well aware and proud of who she grew up and prepared herself to become. However, she yearns to know who deep down inside, she really is. In all of this, she realizes that blood relatives will leave us, and we are often saved by strangers who will take us in and love us unconditionally.

Rita is the author of her memoir Determined Destination, Life’s Imperfect Journey of Learning and Love. She is married and lives in Virginia. She enjoys the outdoors, creative experiences, and special moments with family and friends.

To go directly to Rita's interview, you can just go to the timestamp: 9:39


Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss the introduction of The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond 

To learn more about CAAR visit the Facebook Page

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary


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Sarah and Louise have a powerful and meaningful discussion with Gabrielle Glaser, author of American Baby, and Margaret Erle Katz, whose story is the focus of the book.
American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser.

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources

If you want to support our show, you can go to our Patreon Page.

Our Patrons:  Laura Christensen, Barbara Frank, Ramona Evans, Linda Pevac, Blonde Records, Daphne Keys, Denise Hewitt, Michelle Styles, Emily Sinagra, Linda David, John Frey, Eric David, Beth Figuls, Ron Schneider, Tony Corsentino, Kristi Reed,  Kristen Steinhilber, Jane Bofenkamp, Kelley Brickfield, Sandra de Quesada, The Harpy, Kristan Higgin, Lisa Thompson,  Michelle Goodwine, Jesper Laursen, Julie Malone, Rivi Shocket , Robert Perrino,  Colleen McCall, Janet MacDonald, Robin Wells, Lynn Grubb, Mikki Jackson-Brown, Sharon Katzmann, Carol Levitt, Elizabeth McDonald, Diane Moore, Darra Robinson, Jen Arave, Thomas Stevenson, Michael Berman, Cindy Turgeon,  Monica Hall, Allison Olson , Lenora Carey,  Sandra de Quesada, Noreen Hartigan, Heidi Binnewies and Kathryn Haddad.
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Elle Klassen is a Canadian who was born to a young woman of nineteen years of age in 1970. She was relinquished and then placed with her adoptive family when she was five days old. She grew up in a very conservative Canadian evangelical family where adoption was spoken of as God's plan. Much of her religious background didn't sit well with her, including the narrative around adoption. As an adopted person whose big goal in life was to fly under the radar as much as she could, she never challenged the common narrative surrounding adoption that she grew up with. Several years ago she did a DNA test on a whim & with a hint of morbid curiosity. She wanted to know if her adoption information had been falsified as so many others in the baby scoop had been. As a result, she was reunited with her first family on both her maternal, and paternal sides. Digging for truth led to seeing relinquishment, and adoption as complicated, traumatic events in a child's life. The repercussions of this reach into adulthood, and can never be fully dealt with until it is seen for what it is whether someone has had a "good" adoption or not. Truthful conversations about adoption have become her passion. She now co-hosts the podcast "Pulled by the Root" to help facilitate the conversation about relinquishment & adoption, showcasing the voices of those adopted people, and first parents, who have been previously silenced in favor of perpetuating the idea that adoption is not a trauma or a system of belief that should not be challenged.

To go directly to Elle's interview, you can just go to timestamp: 11:15.


Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss the final chapter of American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser.

To learn more about CAAR visit the Facebook Page

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary

If you want to support our show, visit our Patreon Page.

Thank you to our current Patreon donors for their support.
Our Patrons:  Laura Christensen, Barbara Frank, Ramona Evans, Linda Pevac, Blonde Records, Daphne Keys, Denise Hewitt, Michelle Styles, Emily Sinagra, Linda David, John Frey, Eric David, Beth Figuls, Ron Schneider, Tony Corsentino, Kristi Reed,  Kristen Steinhilber, Jane Bofenkamp, Kelley Brickfield, Sandra de Quesada, The Harpy, Kristan Higgin, Lisa Thompson,  Michelle Goodwine, Jesper Laursen, Julie Malone, Rivi Shocket , Robert Perrino,  Colleen McCall, Janet MacDonald, Robin Wells, Lynn Grubb, Mikki Jackson-Brown, Sharon Katzmann, Carol Levitt, Elizabeth McDonald, Diane Moore, Darra Robinson, Jen Arave, Thomas Stevenson, Michael Berman, Cindy Turgeon,  Monica Hall, Allison Olson , Lenora Carey,  Sandra de Quesada, Noreen Hartigan and Heidi Binnewies. 
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Patrick Hawes was born in North Carolina on August 10, 1970, and officially adopted in September 1970. From an early age, Patrick knew he was adopted because his adopted mom was Japanese and his adopted father was American but he didn’t look at all Japanese. Patrick never really desired to search for his birth family during his childhood. He was raised in a good home and was well taken care of but there was a distance between him and his adopted mom which led to many of his adoption issues including loneliness, fear, and pain. He often thought of searching for his birth mom but being in the military and moving combined with the adoption laws in North Carolina made it extremely difficult and he often wanted to give up! Patrick finally began searching for his birth family at the age of 45 and through the magic of Facebook was able to find his birth mom, sister, and maternal Aunt- he has been in reunion
with them since 2015 and while there have been many ups and downs, he wouldn’t change a thing.

To go directly to Patrick's interview, skip ahead to timestamp 9:00.


Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser.

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary

If you want to support our show, you can go to our Patreon Page.

Thank you to our current Patreon donors for their support.
Our Patrons:  Laura Christensen, Barbara Frank, Ramona Evans, Linda Pevac, Blonde Records, Daphne Keys, Denise Hewitt, Michelle Styles, Emily Sinagra, Linda David, John Frey, Eric David, Beth Figuls, Ron Schneider, Tony Corsentino, Kristi Reed,  Kristen Steinhilber, Jane Bofenkamp, Kelley Brickfield, Sandra de Quesada, The Harpy, Kristan Higgin, Lisa Thompson,  Michelle Goodwine, Jesper Laursen, Julie Malone, Rivi Shocket , Robert Perrino,  Colleen McCall, Janet MacDonald, Robin Wells, Lynn Grubb, Mikki Jackson-Brown, Sharon Katzmann, Carol Levitt, Elizabeth McDonald, Diane Moore, Darra Robinson, Jen Arave, Thomas Stevenson, Michael Berman, Cindy Turgeon,  Monica Hall, Allison Olson , Lenora Carey, Heidi Binnewies, Sandra de Quesada and Noreen Hartigan.
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Janet M was born in Virginia in the late 1970’s to a 16-year-old mother. At 6 weeks old she was placed via a closed adoption into a loving home with her parents and older adopted brother. She always knew she was adopted but it wasn’t a topic that was discussed openly or often in her family. Not knowing her origin story fueled her curiosity around the subject of pregnancy and birth. She became fascinated with childbirth and the beautiful relationship between new moms and their babies. She became a labor and delivery nurse in the year 2000 and has been helping new moms and babies ever since.
Janet always had a genuine curiosity about her biological family, especially her biological mother. But she never had the courage to pursue finding and connecting with any of them. It wasn’t until she was in her mid-forties that she started to “come out of the fog” by listening to podcasts about adoption, exploring adoptees on social media, and reading The Primal Wound. This past year for Christmas her husband bought her an ancestry DNA kit. The results revealed 4 close family member matches that led her to her biological mother and half-siblings. They reunited very recently and together are learning to navigate this tender new relationship. Janet lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband of 21 years, 3 teenagers and 2 dogs.  She loves to travel, hike, and spend time with her family.

To go directly to Janet's interview, skip ahead to 13:26


Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser.

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary

If you want to support our show, you can go to our Patreon Page.

Thank you to our current Patreon donors for their support.
Our Patrons:  Laura Christensen, Barbara Frank, Ramona Evans, Linda Pevac, Blonde Records, Daphne Keys, Denise Hewitt, Michelle Styles, Emily Sinagra, Linda David, John Frey, Eric David, Beth Figuls, Ron Schneider, Tony Corsentino, Kristi Reed,  Kristen Steinhilber, Jane Bofenkamp, Kelley Brickfield, Sandra de Quesada, The Harpy, Kristan Higgin, Lisa Thompson,  Michelle Goodwine, Jesper Laursen, Julie Malone, Rivi Shocket , Robert Perrino,  Colleen McCall, Janet MacDonald, Robin Wells, Lynn Grubb, Mikki Jackson-Brown, Sharon Katzmann, Carol Levitt, Elizabeth McDonald, Diane Moore, Darra Robinson, Jen Arave, Thomas Stevenson, Michael Berman, Cindy Turgeon,  Monica Hall, Allison Olson , Lenora Carey and Heidi Binnewies.
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Rivi Shocket was born in Baltimore Maryland in 1987. She was adopted two days after she was born and had an open adoption. From the time she was a toddler, her adoptive parents would take her to spend time with her birth family (mom, dad, siblings, cousins, and grandparents) every couple of years. Throughout Rivi's teenage years and into adulthood, she developed strong bonds with her immediate birth family--especially her mother. Her birth mother struggled with addictions, so it was difficult to have a consistent relationship with her, but she cherished the times and talks they had up until her passing in 2016. In the past few years, Rivi has learned a lot as far as who she is, where she comes from, and even where she gets certain personality traits from. Along with learning some fun facts about her birth family, including their musical talents, she has also learned the traumas she was handed, being an adoptee. Although having an open adoption has answered many of her questions, the abandonment fears persist, as well as dealing with some of her own addiction traits. She is still learning how to deal with her relinquishment in general, but she has come to believe that writing songs about her experiences will be her saving grace.

To go directly to Rivi's interview, skip ahead to 8:49


Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser.

Thank you to our sponsor S12F.

Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary

If you want to support our show, you can go to our Patreon Page.

Thank you to our current Patreon donors for their support.
Our Patrons:  Laura Christensen, Barbara Frank, Ramona Evans, Linda Pevac, Blonde Records, Daphne Keys, Denise Hewitt, Michelle Styles, Emily Sinagra, Linda David, John Frey, Eric David, Beth Figuls, Ron Schneider, Tony Corsentino, Kristi Reed,  Kristen Steinhilber, Jane Bofenkamp, Kelley Brickfield, Sandra de Quesada, The Harpy, Kristan Higgin, Lisa Thompson,  Michelle Goodwine, Jesper Laursen, Julie Malone, Rivi Shocket , Robert Perrino,  Colleen McCall, Janet MacDonald, Robin Wells, Lynn Grubb, Mikki Jackson-Brown, Sharon Katzmann, Carol Levitt, Elizabeth McDonald, Diane Moore, Darra Robinson, Jen Arave, Thomas Stevenson, Michael Berman, Cindy Turgeon,  Monica Hall, Allison Olson and Lenora Carey.
Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.