68 episodes

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and neglect the things that matter most. On Andrew Petty is Dying, life and leadership coach, Andrew Petty, helps us live our best lives now and escape deathbed regrets by tapping into the most powerful motivator of all--our Mortality. Join Andrew every two weeks for insights that cut through the clutter and interviews with fascinating people to help you become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live.

Andrew Petty is Dying Andrew Petty

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.8 • 26 Ratings

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and neglect the things that matter most. On Andrew Petty is Dying, life and leadership coach, Andrew Petty, helps us live our best lives now and escape deathbed regrets by tapping into the most powerful motivator of all--our Mortality. Join Andrew every two weeks for insights that cut through the clutter and interviews with fascinating people to help you become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live.

    The Serendipity Strategy: People First

    The Serendipity Strategy: People First

    Serendipity. According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, “serendipity” is “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” 
    What if it was possible to harness the power of serendipity rather than leave it all up to chance? 
     
    Finding Serendipity in Our Own Story
    If we’re honest, many of the most pivotal moments of our lives are unscripted, unplanned, and unforeseen. Even if those moments exist within the context of a plan we conceived, they are never just the result of the linear unfolding of that plan according to our conscious input at every turn. 
    If we’re honest, the most pivotal moments rarely appear pivotal at the moment. We only see their significance clearly with the benefit of hindsight. We see in hindsight how one moment led to another and another and another, and how each of those moments led to THIS one. 
    They are what we call moments of serendipity. 
    Most importantly, if we’re honest, many of our most pivotal moments of serendipity include the unique and often unsolicited contributions of other people. 
    We know this to be true in movies and books. The main character encounters other characters, and that encounter alters the course of the main character’s journey. Of course the main character does things on their own that alter the course of their story, and mishaps befall them that don’t involve other people. But the storyline is influenced and advanced most profoundly because of the main characters’ interaction with other characters.
    We often fail to see that the same is true in our own Story. 
     
    Serendipity in My Story
    In the early 2000s–2003 to be exact, I think–I was in a season of profound personal and professional dissatisfaction and confusion. My parents were in the loop on my condition. Unsolicited, they gave me the opportunity to take an assessment called the Natural Ability Battery–a key tool I use in the work I do with 1-1 coaching clients today–so I could better understand the innate abilities that I could bring to the table in life. I took the assessment, and the results were enlightening, but I didn’t have the will or the wherewithal to operationalize the results in my life at that point. I didn’t yet have the ears to hear. 
    Fast forward to 2011 or thereabouts, and I was in another season of personal and professional dissatisfaction and confusion. Desperate for insights that would help me get unstuck, I dusted off my Natural Ability Battery report. But I needed a refresher on how to use the results, so I called Leslie, who first administered and interpreted the assessment for me back in 2003. I got the refresher I needed, but I got much more than that. 
    Unsolicited, Leslie offered to introduce me to her husband, Matt, who was a coach with a particular interest in young men like me–i.e. young men in ministry and in formation. Long-story short, Matt became my first coach. That partnership transformed my confidence and competency at home and at work, guided me through the difficult years surrounding our senior leader’s departure, and helped me and my wife Charis summon the clarity and courage to close that chapter back East and start writing a new one here in Colorado in 2014. 
    Fast forward a couple more years and a lot of water under the bridge, I had decided to give this coaching thing a go–-based in no small part on my experience of being coached but also on my deepening insight about the kind of human I am and the kind of work I’m meant to do in the world. Coaching seemed like a good fit. 
    I cast a pretty wide net at first, coaching just about anybody and everybody who was willing to be a guinea pig. Thankfully, no guinea pigs weren’t harmed in the making of this coach. 
    Then, again unsolicited,Leslie called to ask if I was interested in doing some leadership development work with a consulting company she’d been involved with for many years. She thought I’d be a good fit for the work,

    • 9 min
    What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

    What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

    What do you need to let go of? 
    It’s an easy question to ask, but it can be an awfully tough one to answer. In this episode, I’ll share how an answer to this question revealed itself to me recently and the impact it’s had. I hope my experience will inspire you to begin seeking answers to this question, too.  
     
    Stopped in My Tracks
    “I submit.” 
    The words startled me. They were my words, but they hadn’t come out of my mouth. They weren’t the expression of a thought in my head or from my heart either, exactly. 
    In hindsight, it seems most accurate to say that the words came from what I might call my spirit. 
    Somewhere deeper within me than I’m able to access consciously, from some part of me that interacts with the transcendent. 
    I was on one of my habitual walks down County Road 44 here in Steamboat Springs, CO. It’s a stretch of road by a river running through ranch land. It’s a stretch of road that has a meditative quality to me–not too much scenery to distract but not so little as to make it uninteresting. Few cars, very few people. Just me, the road, the breeze, the river, occasional cows, and sometimes the eerily prehistoric call of the sandhill crane couple that frequents the fields along the road. 
    On this particular walk, I was listening to the final cut of episode 63, Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go to make sure it was ready to release in a few days. Carrie Chown’s astounding tale of three seismic surrenders and the freedom she’s found on the other side of letting go was washing over me when my spirit uttered those unexpected words, as if in response to Carrie’s story, and stopped me in my tracks. 
    “I submit.” 
     
    Submit to…?
    I knew in that moment that something profound had shifted within me. In that instant, I also knew why my spirit spoke those words, specifically. 
    For a number of weeks leading up to that experience on County Road 44 among the cows and cranes and gurgles of the river, I’d begun to be aware of a tight-fisted, clinchy feeling–like I had a death-grip on something. I was unwilling or unable to let go of it. I wasn’t at all clear on what the “it” was that I was clinging to so tenaciously. Judging simply by the negative quality of the emotions that it produced, though, it WAS clear that clinging to it wasn’t doing me any good. 
    So, I’d begun to ask God a simple question: What do I need to let go of? 
    I repeated the question whenever it came to mind, holding the lines of communication open, so to speak, and awaiting a response. 
    “I submit” was my spirit’s response to the answer I received as Carrie’s story washed over me. 
    The answer? It was time to submit to the Author of my Story and to my place within the larger Story that surrounds me. It was time to let go of the idea that it was all up to me. The deep-seated belief that I had to get it just right, or else, was causing me to hold on too tightly to each moment, each decision, each action. It was causing me to attribute too much significance to each moment, decision, and action and keeping me from just living. 
    It was a call to faith–faith in God and in the structure of existence. It was a call to surrender. It was a call to let go. 
     
    I’m a Fan
    That was a couple of months ago. True to form, I instinctively got nervous that the effects of that transcendent moment would wear off. 
    But I’m glad to report that truly transcendent moments don’t wear off that easily.
    I am calmer, more at peace, and more comfortable being myself than prior to that “letting go.” I’m better able to peer into the mists of the future with curiosity and wonder than anxiety and fear because the future holds twists and turns in my Story that–even though some of them will be painful–will nevertheless contribute to the Story that God is writing with my life and in which I’m an active co-creator. I’

    • 8 min
    The View From Here: A Message for the Living from the Lonely Mountaintop of Terminal Illness, with Pam Blackburn

    The View From Here: A Message for the Living from the Lonely Mountaintop of Terminal Illness, with Pam Blackburn

    Pam Blackburn loves to climb mountains. 
    Pam is also dying. 
    In this episode, Pam shares what the view is like from her lonely mountaintop of terminal illness. This is her final word to the world, prepared courageously and graciously to serve all of us who don't have access to the same view. 
    There are things we need to hear and things we need to know that only those, like Pam, inhabiting the sacred and surreal space between life and death can convey to us. And there are things we need to do as a result of the insight we gain. 
    I feel so fortunate to have met Pam and to count her as a new friend. She is full of life and warmth and mischief--more vibrantly alive in the midst of her suffering than most people I know. She is so clearly being transformed by her ongoing dance with Death, and I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that there are ways in which her encounter with Mortality has actually saved her life. 
    This episode doesn't follow the usual conversational interview format you've become accustomed to on this show. Instead, if you tune in, you'll hear only from Pam--reading her final word to the world that she poured her heart and soul into preparing for you and me. 
    Also, about 11 minutes in, Pam mentions "the glittery little children" that cancer leaves behind just waiting to come to life. She's referring to cancerous cells that are undetectable by scans but inevitably cause trouble down the road. 
     
    Some Highlights from Pam’s Message for the Living
    How Pam’s terminal diagnosis has been a gift and given her tremendous newfound freedom.  How Death has brought Pam to life.  Pam’s top 10 tips for how to live well.  Pam offers her final words to her husband and five kids.  Tune in for all of Pam’s message for the living!  
    Making It Matter in YOUR Life
    In this episode, we were welcomed into the heart of a fellow human who is staring her Mortality squarely in the eyes. We ascended briefly to the lonely mountaintop that Pam stands on and shared her view from there. What an astounding gift. Thank you, Pam.  
    What will you do with Pam's gift to you?
    Don't wait until Death comes knocking on your door to WAKE UP and acknowledge the reality of your Mortality. Instead, courageously and voluntarily confront your Mortality to harness its incomparable motivational power and live YOUR one and only life with guts, gusto, and abandon. 
    You can start today. 
    What lessons will you take to heart from Pam's report from the frontlines? What's just one thing you are willing and able to change today--the only day we've got--as a result of what stuck with you?



    I’m Motivated to Let My Mortality Motivate Me! What Do I Do Next??
    It's one thing to tap into Mortality's motivation to live YOUR one-and-only life with guts, gusto, and abandon. But it's another thing entirely to sustain it and act on it day-in and day-out, week-in and week-out, over the course of your lifetime. It's a discipline and a practice, and it happens best with the support of others who are on the same path. 
    That's why I created The Graveyard Group. In small group settings, you and your very own confidential board of advisors help each other leave it all out on the field of life. You clear obstacles, mend relationships, summon the courage to pursue your dreams, and give the things that matter most the attention they deserve--before it's too late. You become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live
    I'm excited to share that a new women's Graveyard Group is forming after Labor Day, with my colleague, the amazing Beth Romano, serving as its facilitator. Beth pioneered the first women's Graveyard Group this past January, and she's ready to welcome more women into the experience. 
    Go Here to learn more about joining a women's Graveyard Group, or email me.
    I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.
    Remember: Yo

    • 29 min
    End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai

    End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai

    Do you have a plan for when you die? Do you have a plan for when your loved ones die? 
    In 2001, Michelle Mathai was just two years into her first foreign service post as vice consul in Auckland, NZ. She and her parents were on a farewell trip around the island in anticipation of Michelle's imminent departure for a new post in El Salvador. In the blink of an eye, the trip turned tragic when their car, with her dad at the wheel and her mom in the back seat, careened off the road and into the mercilessly icy current of a glacial river. As water rushed in, Michelle was able to kick out the windshield to escape the car, but her desperate attempts to save her parents were unsuccessful. 
    In this episode, Michelle shares how the complete lack of preparation for her parents' deaths impacted her and her brother. She shares how painful lessons learned from that experience helped her create a very different ending for her brother when he died in 2017 after almost a 20-year battle with brain cancer. And she shares how to have the tough end-of-life conversations with our loved ones NOW--before end-of-life issues become a reality--and what exactly needs to be covered.
     
    Highlights From the Conversation
    The hardships that failure to have an end-of-life plan causes when a loved one dies, and the benefits of having a plan  How the grieving process is impacted by lack of end-of-life plans How to create end-of-life plans with your loved ones What an end-of-life plan contains The value of simplifying your life materially so that there’s not so much stuff for loved ones to sort through when you die. How beauty can be found in the “tough stuff” Why Michelle has no tolerance for “all the b******t” anymore, and why you shouldn't either  
    Making It Matter In YOUR Life
    Dying well starts now. It starts with acknowledging the inevitability of our death, allowing that awareness to keep us present in THIS moment, and taking concrete steps today to plan for our ultimate demise. It requires making our Death part of our Life, here and now. It's a formidable and beastly tension to tangle with, but tangle with it we must if we are to depart this life with grace and peace. As I've discovered in the three-plus years that I've been actively cultivating this Mortality Mindset, if we persist in tangling with this tension, it becomes a powerful catalyst for giving the things that matter most the attention they deserve NOW and living the life we were uniquely made to live. Paradoxically, it becomes a friend and ally rather than a detestable and repugnant enemy to be avoided at all costs. As my then-10-year-old son, Macgray, said one night at the dinner table, much to our surprise and amazement, "Death brings meaning to life." When we estrange ourselves from our Mortality, we estrange ourselves from our very Life. 
    And so we conclude where we began: Do you have a plan for when you die? Do you have a plan for when your loved ones die? If not, what's just one thing you're willing and able to do today to begin assembling a plan?
     
    Let Me Know!
    What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at andrew@digdeepwinbig.com.
    Be sure to tune in to the next episode--a sort of mirror image of this episode. Terminal brain cancer warrior, Pam Blackburn, will offer her final word from the sacred space she now inhabits between life and death. It is both heartrending and intensely clarifying in the most useful of ways. 
    I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.
     
    Let’s Connect
    Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. 
     
    Connect with Michelle
    Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website | Podcast
     
    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review
    Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher
     
    If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll L

    • 59 min
    Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

    Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

    What do you need to let go of?
    In her teens, alcohol became Carrie Chown's refuge from emotional pain. By her early college years, she was firmly in the grips of alcoholism. Carrie worked hard to keep everything looking shiny on the outside, but inside she wanted to die. Then, she was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension as a college junior and was told she had two years to live. Ironically, it felt like an answer to her prayer to die. 
    In June of 1999, Carrie summoned the will and the courage to get sober so she could begin an IV treatment the following month. Remarkably, she survived six years with pulmonary hypertension and received a life-extending double lung transplant in December 2003. After the transplant, Carrie was told that she might only have two more years to live. 
    With a handful of years of sobriety and intensive recovery work now under her belt, Carrie emerged from the transplant physically, spiritually, and mentally aligned. She was ready to live. She moved out of her parents' house, started working, got married, and bought her first home. 
    But she lost sight of all of the gifts in her life during an excruciating seven-year infertility journey. 
    There's more to this story, and Carrie fills in the gaps in the conversation that follows. But what I've just shared with you sets the stage for the insights and wisdom that Carrie offers in this episode. At face value, it's a gripping tale of human suffering, perseverance, and the will to live. But on a deeper level, it's a master class in how to find freedom on the other side of letting go.  
     
    Meet Carrie Chown
    Today, Carrie is a Life, Health, and Wellness Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner. She has a private practice in Woodland, CA where she uses traditional coaching, energy work, and unique life coaching experiences to help her clients move beyond the things that hold them back and create lives full of passion, purpose, and wellbeing.
     
    Some Episode Highlights
    Carrie shares what she had to let go of in each of the three monumental surrenders she’s experienced in her life–addiction, terminal illness, and infertility–and what freedom she found on the other side of letting go.  How to know when to keep fighting and when to surrender.  Carrie’s take on the purpose of suffering.  The necessity of detaching from the outcome.  How letting go makes it possible to see other options.  The difference between suffering that heals and transforms and suffering that destroys.  Carrie’s take on her leap of faith–why, how, and how it turned out.   
    What Do You Need to Let Go Of?
    Letting go is not a popular idea in our hard-driving Western culture. But one has only to consider how physically and mentally unhealthy our culture is--unprecedentedly so, in fact--to realize that there's much about how we live today that needs to change. 
    So perhaps letting go is something all of us need to practice more. Letting go of our demand that life be a certain way and accepting what actually IS, instead. Letting go of our demand that our partner meet all of our needs and assuming full responsibility for own wellbeing, instead. Letting go of our tireless efforts to prevent future catastrophes and accepting that much of the future is completely outside of our control. Letting go of our need for our kids to fit our mold and nurturing their unique qualities, instead. 
    Examine your own heart and observe your own life to discern where a surrender might be calling to you. Look especially closely at those areas in your life where you consistently experience a sense of stuckness and frustration, a pushing-back from life as it resists your repeated attempts to create a different reality.
    What freedom awaits you on the other side of letting go? 
     
    Let Me Know!
    What stuck with YOU from this episode? Message me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at andrew@digdeepwinbig.com.
    I'm taking a creative break in July to have

    • 1 hr 3 min
    What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life

    What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life

    “What do you do?” We’re all familiar with that question. It comes up naturally when we meet someone for the first time in a social setting. Its usual purpose is to learn what someone does for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. 
    In this episode, however, we’ll REpurpose this old question in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you’re uniquely made. It will become a new tool in your ongoing quest to live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon. 
     
    My Answer to “What do you do?”
    “I seek to understand how we should conduct ourselves in this world to produce the best results with our lives.” That’s my most current answer to the repurposed version of the familiar question, “What do you do?” that I’m sharing with you today. It’s a description of what I’ve ALWAYS done, regardless of my age or stage of life or job. It’s a description of what I can’t NOT do, of what I’ve always felt compelled to do, of what always calls to me in the midst of whatever else I’m actually doing. 
    It’s not a carefully-crafted mission statement or a statement of intention. It’s not aspirational. It’s a statement of what IS. It’s a statement of who I am and what I do in the world on a fundamental level. I can no more change myself on that fundamental level than I can alter the course of the stars in the sky. 
    That’s the level of insight that we’re after with our newly-repurposed version of “what do you do?”
    My desire for understanding has been evident from an early age–as have been whatever impulses guide you on a fundamental level. One day, when I was a little boy, for example, I paused to examine the dirt, and then asked my mom “what’s the dirt doing?” (There may or may not have also been another episode at about the same age where I paused to pray for a caterpillar, then sent it to caterpillar heaven with a decisive stomp of my foot. My mom still hasn’t gotten over the shock. She thought I was praying for its welfare, but apparently I was administering its last rites. But I digress…)
     
    What’s the Big Deal About Answering “What Do You Do?” for Ourselves?
    The big benefit of knowing what we do on a fundamental level with this kind of clarity is that it strengthens our sense of who we are and what we’re here for. Enlightened and strengthened in these ways, we can then pursue personal and professional paths that align with what we do on a fundamental level. What we do for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over our head can be a natural extension of what we’ve always done and will always seek to do on the deepest levels of our being. 
    I’m grateful that what I do for a living IS a natural extension of what I do on the most fundamental level. I’ve discovered that that marriage between both levels of doing is a self-perpetuating engine of growth, both fed by and feeding the very processes that drive it.   
    Life is hard enough without the added hardship of persisting in personal and professional paths that don’t align with who we really are and what we really do. And the world needs all of us as fully engaged in our unique purposes as we can possibly be.
    How confident are you in your current answer to “what do you do?”
     
    How to Answer “What Do You Do” for Yourself
    I’ve arrived at my current answer to this question through ongoing observation of myself as I move through the world. But that observation has occurred in the grit and grime of real life, not from behind glass with lab coats and clipboards. My conclusions at this point are based upon real-world trial and error, successes and failures. They are the result of countless implementations of my formula for human growth, Insight + Action = Transformation. 
    My answer is also based upon others’ feedback about what they observe in me. I’ve proactively sought that feedback from family, fri

    • 6 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
26 Ratings

26 Ratings

"E" and Harlo ,

Highly Recommend!

Andrew is a unique, driven, and inspiring individual. His knowledge of both psychology and business is such an asset to helping anyone grow both personally and professionally. It was such a great experience as a guest on his podcast. I highly recommend his coaching and networking expertise if you want to grow. Andrew truly has the whole package and is valuable in taking your business to the next level.

Patrick Ayres ,

Andrew Petty is a genius

Andrew brings a new approach to motivation for living that relates to EVERYONE. Each episode is a creative and meaningful look into someone else’s life and what made them realize to change their path. Highly recommend!!

ttttpadtole ,

Andrew, a philosopher-coach for our times....

Andrew Petty is a life philosopher, earnest in his pursuit of understanding who we are and where the trajectory of our decisions will land us. Rarely do I listen to a podcast more than once... this I could listen to many times. He asks the right questions. His show notes are well organized and detailed. I am really glad I discovered this transformative podcast. I sense he is yet to be “discovered”but indeed one day will have a much larger audience.

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