Self-Awareness for Everyone MJ Blehart

Women are not objects
Women are people, too. When men pass laws that impact women’s rights, body autonomy, and the like, we can no longer stay silent. It’s time for us allies to be more vocal about this.
Women are not baby factories.
NFL Kicker Harrison Butker is an ass who has no idea what he’s talking about.
Men are not better than women just because we have penises.
LGBTQA+ people deserve equal treatment
Who cares who these people desire to have sex with or not?
It doesn’t matter how anyone identifies themselves in the grand scheme of things.
Speak up and speak out
We can’t just sit on the sidelines and ignore what’s going on. Especially in light of this upcoming election. Transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and other prejudices and biases need to be pointed out and stood against.
Take a stand for what’s right.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Pause and consider your actions. Speak up. Speak out. Get off the bench and the sidelines and take action to support those being marginalized. Be the change you wish to see in the world and be good.

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You’re only competing with yourself
There are plenty of contests out there where it’s all about competing. Yet, aside from such intentional competitions, you’re not in competition with anyone else for anything.
Let me repeat that for those in the cheap seats. YOU ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH ANYONE ELSE FOR ANYTHING. Unless you participate in a contest – a race, a fencing bout, any professional sport, a spelling bee, and the like – you’re not competing.
You’re only competing with yourself
Let’s go back to academia. The truth of placement in any given class has nothing to do with competing for grades between people (not in general). The only person you’re competing with when it comes to grades is yourself.
The funny thing is, once you leave academia and move into jobs and “real life” situations, lots of forces tell you both blatantly and subtly about all the competition you’re in now. Except, the truth is, you’re still only competing with yourself.
The lies of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency
Have you been told that “they” are going to take your money, your job, your way of life, and worse?
All of these messages are tied to lack, scarcity, and insufficiency. Here’s the most shocking truth of this. All of these messages are bullshit.
The vast majority of what you’re told is in limited supply, is lacking, insufficient, or is otherwise scarce, isn’t. That’s because most of these notions are completely artificial.
Maybe some tangible things are in short supply. But they can all be replaced by something else with no true detriment to anyone. The intangibles – including peace, respect, love, empathy, kindness, and compassion – are in more abundance than you can imagine.
The only person to be better than is yourself
Human beings grow, evolve, and change throughout their lifetime.
It’s not really competing to improve who you are, how you treat others, and what you do or don’t do. Maybe some people want to compete with their prior self to make themselves even better. That’s not competing with anyone else but yourself.
You can always win this competition, often just by showing up.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
The next time you’re not alone, like in a store, on a bus, walking down a street, in an office or classroom, or anywhere similar and mostly public, look around you. Notice the other people. Note how they’re the same as you. Observe how they’re different from you. Most importantly, become aware of these people.
That done, ask yourself these three questions.
·        Am I better than them? (Spoiler alert – no)
·        Are they better than me? (Answer – no)
·        Am I competing with any of these people? (Again, no)
When you’re out and about in the world, and you encounter other people, randomly or otherwise, guess what? You’re not competing with them. What’s more, you’re not better than they are nor are they better than you are.
Repeat whenever you find yourself thinking about competing with others outside of playing sports or the like.

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The reality of what a comfort zone is
Comfort zone is an inaccurate term. That’s because, though it implies comfort, mostly the zone is one of familiarity. You know it, what’s within it, how it works, and all that you can expect from this zone.
It’s comfortable only because it’s familiar. When faced with the uncertain and the unfamiliar, having a comfort zone can and will make you feel stabler and better overall.
The problem is that from within your comfort zone, your growth is massively limited. That’s because to grow, evolve, and command change, you must be willing to move into the uncomfortable.
This is the ultimate open cell you can’t leave. Or more realistically, are afraid to leave because outside of it is the unknown.
Trauma is a thing            
The truth is that I’ve spent most of my adult life in combat mode. I’ve fought depression. There have been many struggles finding and keeping jobs (and getting paid anywhere near what I’m worth). During most of my 20s and 30s, I moved through a lot of relationships and attempted to put my polyamorous, square-peg self into a monogamous round-hole box. I’ve struggled with my weight, self-worth, and working on balancing my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health, wellness, and wellbeing.
In the past 15 years or so, things have shifted. A lot. My life is stable, and I haven’t the foggiest idea what to do with that. It’s like I subconsciously need the challenges, the drama, the issues, and the troubles. Because without them I’m feeling oddly stuck.
Applied mindfulness
Practice active conscious awareness. Mindfulness is being actively aware, here and now, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and choice of a positive or negative approach. That present awareness opens the way for you to see not how it should be, or how “they” desire it to be, but how it is.
This, however, can be really disconcerting. Particularly if you have been practicing mindfulness with a modicum of success. For example, via that practice, you’ve also made active choices and decisions for how to live your life, your way.
How to leave a comfort zone
One foot in front of the other. To quote Lao Tzu,
“The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet.”
The first step is to recognize that I’m in an undesirable comfort zone. The second step is to recognize that it is, in fact, mine to leave. Then, the third step is to acknowledge this. Skipping acknowledgment is the equivalent of recognizing that the first step out the door is a 2-foot drop, but not taking that into account when you take the step.
After recognition and acknowledgment, the fourth step is to leave the comfort zone. There is, however, an important bit to keep in mind here. Why?
What is my why behind leaving the comfort zone? To leave a familiar but not comfortable place is a good answer, but still doesn’t explore the next part. Where am I striving to get myself to? That’s the tough part. It requires that I strike a balance between where I am, here and now, and where I desire to be. To get from here to there, steps must be taken.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
If you’re feeling in any way stuck, examine if there’s a why you can put a finger on.
If so, consider where you desire to be, then take the following 4 steps:
1.      Recognize that you’re in an undesirable comfort zone.
2.      Recognize that it is, in fact, yours to leave.
3.      Acknowledge this. This cannot be skipped.
4.      Leave the comfort zone.
Repeat whenever you seek to make changes for yourself and your life.

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What do you do when you can’t find the words?
Sometimes you just don’t know what to say or write. It’s never just the words you use. Even the written word can convey a degree of tone, intent, and attitude.
Communication is a complex mechanism of expression employed to convey ideas. It’s how you and I can share notions, agree and disagree, and expand (or, frankly, shrink) our overall knowledge base.
Communication can be both internal and external.
Communication within and without
Whole people are made up of 4 specific elements. One is tangible, the physical. The other three are intangible, the mental, emotional, and spiritual. Everyone has these four elements to themselves, yet how developed each is varies wildly.
The intangible elements have a rather intense impact on how communication works. This is why it’s more than words. Words are physical. That means there is still a mental, emotional, and spiritual element to all communications.
Most of these are incredibly subtle. That’s because of the intangible nature of the mental, emotional, and spiritual. This is also where miscommunication is frequently born.
Words and body language go hand-in-hand when it comes to in-person conversations. Looks, how you stand, sighs, what you do with your hands, coupled with the words you speak convey an almost surreal amount of information.
Communication is never just words
You can be with a person, in the same space, and still misspeak, misinterpret information, and misunderstand. You think you’re expressing yourself, you think you’re reading another’s cues, and then learn you utterly failed to communicate with one another properly, and now there’s hurt.
Even the unintentional hurt caused by miscommunication feels bad both given and received.
What do you do when you can’t find the words? For me, the answer is to keep searching. Maybe they’re not here now, but they always come when called.
Become more consciously aware and mindful of your own nonverbal, wordless communication styles. I’ve had a real eye-opener into how what I do and don’t do, without words, can create an incredible degree of misunderstanding, which in turn leads to hurt feelings. That sucks.
I can choose to learn a lesson from it, and by recognizing, acknowledging, and being accountable for my failed communication beyond words, I can grow and learn. You can do this, too.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Before you say anything to anyone, or send a DM or email, no matter what the topic is, pause. Consider your words, what they are, and what they will convey. Think about nonverbal elements that might go into it. Then act from there.
It might not seem like much, but sometimes pausing and considering before acting can avoid confusion, miscommunication, misunderstanding, and other issues before they might even occur.
Be mindful of what words and nonverbal communication you put out into the world.

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Every great began as a beginner
Whether they were a leader, writer, painter, artist, athlete, or whatever, they started as a beginner.
Nobody enters any given field as an expert. Nobody.
Yes, some people advance quicker than others. This is dependent on inherent skill and/or talent, how they learn, how fast they learn, natural ability, and all sorts of other factors along the way.
Still, even those who have the most gifts and innate proficiencies begin as beginners. Nobody starts at the top of their game. Unfortunately, there’s a loud false narrative about the latently able starting at the top.
It’s okay when you don’t get it right at the start
There are, of course, numerous stories of people making lots and lots and lots of attempts before succeeding. Some of the most successful people in history endured tons of failures, false starts, and other challenges on the way to their success. They tried and failed and chose to keep working. They didn’t do the half-assed, half-hearted “try” Yoda warns against in my favorite quote,
“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”
They do. It’s an attempt, but an action that is doing rather than half-assed trying.
The process is never the same for any creation, discovery, recognition, or success. The process, however, is similar.
Thought leads to idea à Idea leads to actionable item à Actionable item leads to action à Action leads to learning from success or failure.
The top of their game isn’t necessarily THE top
The GOATs all began as beginners. Not a single one of them appeared on the scene fully formed, greater than any other, ever. Holding them up as the pinnacle of achievement is often touted as inspiring. Yet frequently it has the exact opposite effect.
Mindfulness to reach the top of their game
Very seldom, almost impossibly seldom, does someone luck into the top of their game. Unplanned success and achievement at any given thing is almost mythical, like dragons.
Nobody truly starts at the top of their game. They do the work, they attempt and have small successes or failures, and they make new attempts again and again until they succeed. That action isn’t chance or luck or random happenstance. It’s mindfulness.
Active conscious awareness is mindfulness. Success and what it is varies from person to person. Measuring success is a highly individual matter. What’s more, success is different for every individual. Maybe you’re a beginner, maybe in the middle, or maybe at the top of your game. Wherever you are, mindfulness is the key to getting where you desire to go.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Try something you’ve never done before.
Is there something you’ve been curious about trying out? Is there something new that has caught your attention you want to attempt to do? Might there be something you’ve not attempted because you were worried that you’d not be good at it?
Do it. Take that thing and do it. OR, if there is nothing already in your queue, take up a new art/hobby/activity that piques your interest. Don’t worry that you might suck at it, that’s how everyone starts. Be the beginner and try this new thing.
Write down what it is, how it goes, and how it’s making you feel.

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Why are choices and decisions so powerful?
What you’re never taught in school is how to be yourself. You’re taught to read, write, communicate with others, and be part of the machine of your given society. You’re never taught how to know yourself, basic psychology is only covered when you reach college (only if you bother with college and take any path along that line), and self-learning is not something you’re taught.
The truth of this life is that you are not just a cog in the machine. Rather, you’re a human, being. You’re capable of some pretty amazing things.
The gurus, demagogues, and supposedly elite of society aren’t better than you and me. They are not more worthy and deserving. They’ve just broken away from the herd, tasted power, and decided to hoard it for themselves and treat the rest of us like sheep. They’ve done what they tell you can’t and shouldn’t be done to maintain the false control and power they perceive themselves as having.
Recognizing that you have the same power is imperative. Accessing it is easier than you realize. It’s simply a matter of employing active conscious awareness and making choices and decisions.
Mindfulness is all about choices and decisions
Leaving the rote, routine, and subconscious living behind can be done by working with active conscious awareness.
To use active conscious awareness to make choices and decisions is a matter of mindfulness. To begin practicing mindfulness, you just need to be present, here and now.
Action often implies the physical. The truth is, it’s not literally what you do as much as it’s choices and decisions that you make.
If you’ve not been a regular maker of choices and decisions, you’d be amazed at how often you have opportunities you don’t consider. Even the most minor choices and decisions build strength to make larger and more impressive/more important things in your life.
Actively choosing and deciding is how you can gain what little control over your life experience is available to you. Yet that seemingly little control is the key to being who, what, where, how, and why you desire to be.
Choices and decisions empower you
Most of the “power” claimed by leaders, gurus, demagogues, and the like is utterly false. The first step in taking the wheel to drive your life and choose your path is to exercise choices and decisions. Turn off the autopilot, and don’t let yourself follow rote and routine and habit. Instead, choose and decide things. Actively and consciously apply mindfulness to make more choices and decisions.
This is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. You are the only you that is, and you are not just here to exist and survive this life. You’re here to experience, explore, grow, evolve, and thrive. Choices and decisions are how you gain control on any level. You, and I mean you, are worthy and deserving of this.
This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool:
Today, take a moment to write down every choice and decision you make. No matter how large or small, write it down.
At the end of the day, mark all the choices and decisions you normally disregard as unimportant or make almost entirely by rote and routine.
Repeat this process tomorrow, and see if you add any new active, consciously aware decisions to your practice.
Once more, at the end of the day, mark all the choices and decisions you normally disregard as unimportant or make almost entirely by rote and routine.
Examine if this has a positive, negative, or neutral impact on your self-awareness. Continue to work with this as necessary.

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