The Mel Robbins Podcast Mel Robbins

Welcome to an exciting new masterclass on designing the life of your dreams.

First, you’ll learn the process for identifying your own North Star, why this is important at the beginning of creating your new life, and how to use your North Star to guide you in the process of designing your life.

Next, you’ll dive deep into the 3-part framework: Emulate, Assimilate, and Innovate.

This framework is the backbone of the University of Southern California’s world-renowned Popular Music major taught at their Thornton School of Music.

It’s the creative process artists use to create songs, movies, and video games. The framework has helped launch Grammy-winning artists and touring musicians for the past decade.

I just learned about it a week ago and was so blown away that I had to share it with you.

When an artist creates a song, they begin with a blank piece of paper.

When you design your life, you are an artist with a blank canvas.

Today, you’re invited to tap into the artist within and learn how to find your North Star and use the creative process to bring your vision for your future to life.

Xo Mel


In this episode, you’ll learn:


3:00: Hear me describe the woman who recently became MY North Star.
6:40: Choosing this kind of person you want to choose as your North Star is best.
8:00: Shout out to Chris Sampson from the Thornton School of Music for these pillars.
10:15: If you skip Step One in this process, you’re making your life much harder.
14:15: Here’s how Jennifer Aniston made her way into our conversation.
18:10: We start unpacking what Step One of the process looks like, first with music.
21:00: Think of the space in between where you are and want to be as special.
22:15: Try using “want” instead of “need” when it comes to goals and see what happens.
25:20: This is what I did when I first started to dig myself out, but it took me much longer.
28:00: Here’s why this person is my North Star and why he puts a fire in my belly.
31:15: Let’s define the first two steps in this important process and how they’re different.
34:00: How do you know when you’re done and you’ve become your own North Star?
41:45: Kendall’s biggest takeaway from working through this process.
42:45: The way I sign out on all my podcasts was inspired by this woman.


Disclaimer

I shared the "Let Them Theory" on social media, and it went CRAZY VIRAL. 15 million views, 11,000 comments. Today, it’s your turn to learn this mindset trick.
I’ve been using this technique for a while, so I know firsthand how powerful it is.

The "Let Them Theory" is so simple, you’re going to get it immediately.

And I have some great stories and examples to share with you, because there are three very different ways you can use it.

I can bottom line this in one sentence:

When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:
2:30: My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in, until this happened.
6:30: Dr. Amy Johnson gives the best metaphor that explains our need to control.
9:20: Why do we get so upset about what we can’t do a damn thing about?
10:30: These three reasons explain why we try to control.
11:20: Two reasons why your parents and partners are so controlling.
17:00: There are times like these when the “Let Them” rule does NOT apply.
19:00: How are you supposed to let go when you’re a parent?
24:30: Can you relate to this listener who’s worn down from her expectations?
28:00: Stop making up stories about why people do what they do, and just ask.
32:10: When you’re constantly rescuing people, here’s what you teach them.
35:00: Are you actually in a relationship with a real person, or a vision?
37:15: One way we try to control someone is through jealousy.
40:00: Growing apart from a good friend? Here’s how to handle it.
43:30: It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone else is never hurt.

Disclaimer

If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life.

Dr. Thema Bryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves.

Her work has been so profound for me personally that, right off the bat in this conversation, I get emotional.

Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained."

In this episode, you’ll learn:

-6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself

-what it means to be "psychologically wandering"

-how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry

-the surprising signs of "irritable depression"

-the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing

-why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor)

-why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy.

-where to find therapy when you can’t afford it.

You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

2:45: I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be.
6:30: 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means.
9:00: Even if you’ve never felt home with yourself, you can learn to be home with yourself.
11:00: The West African fable that gave me chills and should be required reading for everyone.
16:00: This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming.”
22:00: Do people with an attitude actually have depression?
25:20: What is healing, anyway?
27:00: How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry?
30:00: It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing.
36:30: How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality.
41:00: How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy?
44:00: This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment.
48:50: Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy.

Disclaimer

Imagine how liberating it would be to not care about what other people think of you. You’d take more risks. You’d stop holding yourself back. You’d make more money and have more fun.

That’s what happened to me when I learned the (not-so-subtle) art of not giving a sh*t.

This is the best episode I've done so far.

I mean it. The best.

It’s hilarious. It’s relatable. It’s packed with takeaways and research. It’s entertaining and personal, and yet I still manage to empower you with 4 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think.

Want to know what life looks like when you don’t care?

I’ll go first.

You’ll hear some outrageous, not-safe-for-work stories about your friend, Mel.

And as you’re laughing at me, I’ll be laughing at me, too. One of the benefits of not caring about what other people think is that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Why? Because you have much more important things to care about.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

4:00: Hilarious story of me taking my shirt off at an LA restaurant.
8:30: Christine says you’re not supposed to show up to meetings this way.
14:30: Here’s why wearing ballet flats would have been a failure for me.
16:00: Christine’s profound point about judgment really opened my eyes.
19:00: When you stop worrying about how you look, others around you will too.
23:00: What I think about ugly troll comments so that I can rise above it.
27:00: If you’re part of a gossip loop, here’s what you need to do.
28:00: It’s not normal to wear a child-size space suit in front of your students?
34:00: Jessie could not stop laughing after I did this.
36:00: How can you give honest feedback and not sound like a jerk?
38:00: The wake-up moment for me around relationships.
38:30: My four rules about how not to give a sh*t about stupid stuff.
48:30: Kendall revealed something to me that I still can’t believe.



Disclaimer

I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling.

Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers. She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families.

Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, has been nothing short of life changing.

Today you will learn…

-five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling
-the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping”
-what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle
-why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you
-when it’s time for a therapist
-why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”!

I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work!

You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do.

Xo Mel

And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free Take Control mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health.
5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities.
6:15: When exactly IS adolescence?
8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy.
12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about?
15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.”
16:45: So how do you help your kid?
20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight.
24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen.
27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently.
30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders.
34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go?
39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.”
41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight.
44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved?
46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource.
48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids.
54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning?
58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time?
1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for.
1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession?
1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home?
1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen.

Disclaimer

You know what you want and how to start.

But you never make progress.

Here’s my wake up call for you today:

What’s holding you back is never what you think.

Today I am coaching a woman who says:

I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink.

She has:
-put on an extra 30 pounds
-left her relationship with herself in the gutter
-no longer does the things that make her happy
-broken promises to herself time and again

I bet you can relate.

This is a must-listen if you want to:

be healthier…
go back to school..
find your dream home…
make new friends…
go for that promotion…
write a book…
land your dream job…

But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take.

Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem.

Your dreams matter.

Today you’re learning where to find the right solution.

Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s really holding her back.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck.
6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story.
8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop.
11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better.
13:30: What happened to you earlier in your life that broke you?
18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful.
21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief.
31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it.
33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way.
39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do.
41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this.
45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead.
46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me.

Disclaimer