BLUE MUMDAYS

Vikki Stephenson
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BLUE MUMDAYS

Blue MumDays is a podcast about perinatal illness, parenting and being kind to yourself. Up to 1 in 7 mums and 1 in 10 dads will suffer with their mental health after the birth of their baby. Having once interviewed the likes of Sir David Attenborough and Hans Zimmer during my BBC career, I’m now speaking to mums, dads and mental health experts each week, in an effort to understand my own experience of postnatal depression. Dispelling myths, smashing stigma & bringing hope to parents having a hard time.

  1. JAN 6

    Finding Hope After Baby Loss - Frontline Midwife to Mother: Anna Kent (Part 2)

    In this second part of Frontline Midwife Anna Kent's story, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, from an early miscarriage to the tragic loss of her baby daughter Fatima at only 6 months gestation, due to a rare brain condition. Anna discusses the impact this had on her mental health and grief, as well as the transformative experience of having her second daughter, Aisha. Anna emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces to discuss and honour baby loss. The episode also highlights Anna's memoir, 'Frontline Midwife,' and the legacy of her late midwife friend, Helen Loewenstein. *Trigger Warning* Miscarriage, baby loss, very brief mention of suicide. In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote [01:47] Introducing Anna Kent [03:25] Anna's personal journey with motherhood [04:11] Unexpected pregnancy, distressing miscarriage [09:21] Challenges and decisions during Anna's second pregnancy [14:03] The birth and devastating loss of Fatima [21:38] Coping with grief and moving forward [23:37] Pregnant again, with Aisha [24:59] The need for empathy and compassion in midwifery [26:18] Concentrating on positive birth experiences [29:16] Aisha's birth story [31:15] Balancing grief and love, honouring Fatima's memory [33:42] How to help a grieving parent [40:14] The impact of writing the 'Frontline Midwife' [45:19] Current life and reflections Key Takeaways: Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.A cerebral teratoma is a rare, malignant, and fast-growing tumour that originates in the brain and is made up of multiple tissues.Zephyrs Charity in Nottingham supports families following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby or child.  They run a number of therapeutic support sessions for bereaved parents in the Nottingham area.The Helen Loewenstein Memorial Trust was set up to honour Anna’s midwife friend Helen.   We make grants to cover course-fees and essential study expenses for student midwives in Liberia who would not otherwise have sufficient funds to become qualified midwives.Listen to “It’s Not The End: Recovery After Baby Loss’ with the wonderful Keji Moses of Mayah’s Legacy.Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's LegacyNHS on Miscarriage information.The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out...

    49 min

  2. 12/02/2024

    A Story of Conflict and Care - The Frontline Midwife: Anna Kent (Part 1)

    In this powerful Christmas episode, Anna Kent - a humanitarian aid worker, NHS nurse and midwife - reflects on her experiences working in some of the world's most challenging environments, including South Sudan, Haiti and Bangladesh. She offers an intimate look at the difficulties of providing maternity care in conflict zones and refugee camps, shedding light on the trauma faced by women in these regions. Anna speaks candidly about her personal journey, the emotional toll of working in these high-stress situations and her mission to ensure all women have access to gold-standard maternity care. She opens up about her struggles with PTSD and the challenges of reintegrating into normal life after such intense work. This episode is a moving testament to Anna's resilience, compassion and dedication to advocating for women's health rights in the direst circumstances. An inspiring and sobering reminder of the ongoing fight for equitable maternity care worldwide. *Trigger Warning* Birthing in extreme situations, birth trauma, maternal loss, baby loss and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:20] Introducing Anna Kent, the 'Frontline Midwife'. [04:46] Anna's journey to humanitarian work. [08:35] Her first mission - the challenges and realities of working in South Sudan. [11:11] Honouring the Lady on the Plane. The importance of telling women's stories. [17:12] James: Anna's larger-than-life colleague. [20:10] Life and work in Tam, South Sudan. [25:54] Everyone deserves gold access to maternity care. [30:33] Encounter with a black mamba! [31:26] Life in a tent: a different perspective. [32:53] The struggle of returning home. [33:13] The harsh realities of humanitarian work - trauma and being scared to share. [34:44] Hitting rock bottom. [36:55] Missions to Haiti and Bangladesh - responsible for 30,000 Rohingya refugees. [38:51] Feelings of powerlessness. [39:44] The impact of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Flashbacks. [42:43] Seeking help - finding solace in Buddhism and therapy. [48:51] The pressure to save every life. Moral injury. [54:42] Parenting and self-awareness. Key Takeaways:Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.What To Expect article on Cephalopelvic Disproportion (C.P.D.), a condition where the baby's head or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis.Blue MumDays Episode 17 'When Birth Leads to Trauma', with Dr. Rebecca Moore of Make Birth Better.MIND Charity information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.), a mental health problem you may develop after experiencing traumatic...

    58 min

  3. 11/04/2024

    "My culture has no real word for mental health". The Unlikely Mummy: Kavita Trevena

    Kavita Trevena, founder of The Unlikely Mummy, shares her profoundly personal motherhood journey, including gestational diabetes, postnatal depression and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after two stressful births. Kavita also talks about a lack of openness around mental health issues in her culture, and a general lack of support for South Asian mums within maternal care services. Kavita discusses her community-driven initiatives such as The Unlikely Mummy blog, counselling services, exercise therapies, and wellness activities designed to support mothers. Far from being a heavy listen, Kavita was a joy to speak to and our positive conversation underlines a message of hope, resilience, and the importance of creating supportive networks for mothers. *Trigger Warning* Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:01] Introducing Kavita Trevena: founder of 'The Unlikely Mummy'. [04:30] From being told she couldn't have children to a honeymoon baby - Kavita's journey through pregnancy. [06:34] Discovery and challenges of Gestational Diabetes. [13:16] The birth experience - an emergency caesarean. [20:44] Postpartum struggles and support. [23:16] Creating 'The Unlikely Mummy' community. [28:34] Being diagnosed with PND (Postnatal Depression). [31:04] The need for more support for mums. Growing the Unlikely Mummy to provide community support and specialist services. [34:22] Running for the cause: The Big Half Marathon, raising funds for a Forest School, counselling and lactation consultant sessions. [36:37] Starting a walking club for mums. [40:14] Kavita's second pregnancy: psoriasis and setting up support in advance. [43:10] Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for her first birth. [47:19] Cultural barriers and lack of support for South Asian mums. [55:23] The Unlikely Mummy: future plans and support. [01:01:45] Final thoughts and encouragement. Key Takeaways: The Unlikely Mummy's Insta page. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age and is a leading cause of infertility. NHS information on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s believed 1 in 10 women may suffer from PCOS.UK Government information on Gestational Diabetes, a type of diabetes that occurs only during pregnancy. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems in both mother and baby. Support is available from Gestational Diabetes UK.Dr. Hannah Short is a doctor who specialises in menopause and premenstrual disorders. Dr. Hannah Short's website. Listen to Hannah's episode:  Blue MumDays S2 Ep31: 'The one About Hormones: POI, PMDD, Endometriosis + PME.Postnatal depression is depression that happens after you've had a baby. It can range from mild to severe and is more common than you think. Up to 1 in 7 mums are affected and up to 1 in 10 dads. a...

    1h 4m

  4. 10/07/2024

    Extreme Sickness, Intrusive Thoughts - Hyperemesis, Hallucinations and Healing: Sarah Edge (Part 2)

    In the follow-up to Episode 35 (Part 1), perinatal psychotherapist Sarah Edge shares her contrasting experience with her second pregnancy. Her debilitating experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG or extreme sickness) took a significant toll on Sarah’s mental health. Sarah developed postnatal depression and terrible anxiety after the birth, leading to intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. The experience was terrifying. Now recovered, Sarah talks about how she has used it to inform her own therapeutic practice.     She provides practical advice for others suffering from similar conditions and highlights the importance of seeking help early. *Trigger Warning* Extreme vomiting, feelings of suicide. In This Episode We Discuss: [00:00] Teaser quote [01:53]  Introduction to Sarah [03:49]  Understanding Hyperemesis Gravidarum (H.G.) [06:25]  How H.G. contributed to Sarah’s difficulty bonding with her daughter [08:09]  Getting support and medication – the importance of being taken seriously [12:46]  Advice for mums experiencing sickness in pregnancy. How Pregnancy Sickness Support helped Sarah [16:00]  Much needed support from Sarah’s husband and her work [19:58] Her second birth – no immediate ‘rush of love’ [22:39] Feeling ‘high’ then a crushing low – severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts and hallucinations [29:30] A desperate visit to Accident and Emergency (A+E) [35:47]  Starting medication [38:13] Building a bond with her daughter [42:52] Turning personal struggles into a professional passion – the importance of shared experiences [50:10] Matrescence Key Takeaways: 1.    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of pregnancy sickness, affecting around 1-3% of pregnancies and causing incredibly debilitating symptoms. 2.    A 2020 study by Imperial College, London found that “women with HG are around 8 times more likely to suffer antenatal depression and 4 times more likely to have postnatal depression”. 3. For help with HG, go to Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are a charity dedicated to alleviating the suffering of all those affected by pregnancy sickness. They offer peer support and a helpline, 0800 055 4361. 4.    The HER Foundation is another great organisation, dedicated to helping those suffering hyperemesis and those who have survived it. Providing education, research, support and advocacy globally, to improve the management of HG. 5.    Listen to Episode 18 with Dr. Andy Mayers ‘Bonding, Guilt and Pyschosis: An Expert View’, to learn more about mother and baby units. 6.    You can learn more about Sarah’s therapeutic process through her Instagram page, MaternalMentalHealthWellbeing. 7.    Sarah has a Maternal Mental Health Journal, which can be purchased through a...

    54 min

  5. SEASON 3 TRAILER

    Blue MumDays Season 3 Teaser

    Season 3 of Blue MumDays is here, the parental mental health podcast smashing stigma and normalising the conversation on perinatal illness. Upcoming episodes include discussion on infant feeding trauma, breastfeeding advice, pre-eclampsia, baby loss, birthing during Covid, neonatal intensive care, coping with multiple miscarriage, postnatal depression in fathers and midwifery in a war zone. New episodes are released the first Monday of each month. *TRIGGER WARNING: *Discussion of baby loss and trauma* If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, share and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. Follow us: Instagram Twitter Join our Facebook Group Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

    3 min

  6. 09/02/2024

    Breastfeeding Trauma and Grief: Sarah Edge (Part 1)

    To launch Blue MumDays Season 3, host Vikki welcomes Sarah Edge, a perinatal specialist psychotherapist. In the first part of their discussion, Sarah shares her deeply personal and emotional journey through pregnancy, childbirth, and the complex challenges of infant feeding. She discusses her experiences with breastfeeding trauma and grief and the stark contrast between her expectations and the reality of motherhood. Sarah offers heartfelt advice to parents struggling with similar issues, emphasising the importance of compassion and seeking support. The episode also explores societal pressures and the impact of invalidation on mental health. *Trigger Warning: *birth trauma, neonatal intensive care, breastfeeding trauma, feelings of suicide and baby loss. In This Episode We Discuss: [00:00] Teaser quote [04:40] Not enjoying the pregnancy/not being what she’d expected or planned/sickness. [08:27] Sensitivity and being self-conscious during pregnancy about how she looked [08:04] Pregnancy isn’t an illness but it can be a hard slog on the body and mind. Expectations vs. reality. [15:24] The birth – labour at 36 weeks. Family history of this. Primal urge to birth on her own. [23:33] The ‘rush of love’ – actually quite rare. [24:30] The birth took a turn – vomiting and post-partum haemorrhage. [25:57] First attempts at breastfeeding, when things got really difficult. [30:41] Feeling nervous about being sent home from hospital and the fear of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) [32:43] Severe jaundice - A+E and panic attack. The ramping up of anxiety. Jack in an incubator. [37:05] Turning a corner, starting formula feeding. [39:15] The toll of triple feeding and sleep deprivation on Sarah’s mental health. Start of suicidal thoughts. Rock bottom. [43:17] Understanding breast feeding trauma. [48:56] Finding out what works best for you and your family. [49:50] Writing about her experience – the importance of sharing our struggles. [52:09] Invalidation and trauma. [56:37] Breastfeeding grief and how you won’t lose that precious bond. [01:01:49] Sarah’s experience second time around, with her daughter. [01:05:32] Compassion is the antidote to trauma. Key Takeaways: 1.   Click this link for more information on Sarah Edge and her Maternal Mental Health services 2.   Information here on The Fed is Best Foundation, which supports all families to safely feed their babies whether they feed with breast, bottle, or both (combination feeding). 3.   Read Sarah’s article on Infant Feeding Trauma here on the Fed is Best website. 4.   Adjustment disorder is a mental health condition that occurs when someone has an unhealthy or excessive reaction to a stressful event or life change. Symptoms can include stress, sadness or hopelessness, negative thoughts and changes in behaviour. 5.   For information and support on hyperemesis gravidarum (HG is extreme sickness during pregnancy), click this link for Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are the only UK registered charity dedicated to offering support and evidence-based information to those affected

    1h 8m

  7. 05/01/2023

    Perinatal Rage + O.C.D: LAURA BISBEY

    In this 'Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week' special, I speak to Laura Bisbey, who was diagnosed with perinatal distress and anxiety during her pregnancy. This sadly continued following the birth of her daughter. Laura tells me about her feelings of rage during the pregnancy, and - once her daughter had been born - her struggles with bonding and the onset of O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder). It's a tremendously brave conversation and I am so grateful to Laura for sharing her story with us. *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief mention of feelings of suicide* IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:28] Introduction to Laura. [02:53] Increased anxiety and guilt about not enjoying pregnancy. [07:15] Perinatal rage - completely out of character for Laura. [10:02] How breaking her arm exacerbated negative feelings during pregnancy. [12:05] Enforced rest = over-thinking. Feeling she wasn't needed at work. Letting the mask slip. [14:06] Laura's husband couldn't relate, but was very supportive. [15:37] Advice for people listening - "explain how you are feeling". [16:51] The importance of Laura's work and how hard the abrupt ending was for her. [19:11] Unrealistic expectations of how easy motherhood would be. Trying to be 'perfect'. [23:34] Charlotte's birth - a quick labour but no 'rush of love'. Bonding took a year. [28:37] C.B.T. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapist) and O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Trying to stay 'in control'. [31:24] *Waves of sadness and not wanting to be here anymore*. [33:44] Starting to build a relationship with Charlotte through play. [36:30] How Laura's O.C.D. manifested - fears around contamination, choking and vomit. [43:28] How this O.C.D. tested Laura's relationship. [44:45] Trying to cope when Charlotte was sick. [47:33] Getting help with the O.C.D. and keeping 'checking' under control. [49:26] How C.B.T. offered Laura solutions and strategies. [51:14] Recovery isn't linear. [52:02] How returning to work was integral to Laura's recovery. [53:37] Finally being hit by that much longed for 'rush of love'. [56:54] Telling people at work. [01:03:09] Advice for people currently struggling. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Follow this link for N.H.S. information about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (C.B.T.)You can find more information about postnatal rage here – from the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (Australia).Perinatal O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is one of the most misunderstood perinatal mental health problems. Click here for advice and support from the Maternal O.C.D. charity, set up by 2 mums with lived experience and O.C.D. Action, the UK's largest O.C.D. charity.Difficulty with baby bonding affects a third of UK mums. Read more about it here in this N.C.T. (National Childbirth Trust) article.Find out more about the 'Circle of Security' model of attachment herea...

    1h 2m

  8. 04/09/2023

    My Kids' Birth Unlocked My Childhood Trauma: NICK RAEBURN

    I chat to Nick Raeburn, aka 'That Social Nerd'. Nick came to my attention in a very brave and raw LinkedIn post, where he talked about the huge flood of emotion he experienced in becoming a dad. Prior to having children, Nick had never cried - a result of the awful abuse he suffered as a child. This is a very emotional and deeply profound conversation; I don't think I've cried as much - or laughed as much - during an interview! *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief (but not graphic) early mention of Child Abuse, discussion of Trauma* IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:46] Introduction to Nick. [03:42] How the birth of his daughter was the catalyst to unlocking his emotions. [04:41] How Nick was helped through therapy and E.M.D.R. (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing). [05:28] Lack of support during his childhood. Catharsis from expressing how he feels on social media. [07:02] How the pandemic has affected attitudes to life and mental health. [08:12] How Nick had buried the painful experiences of his childhood. [09:28] Approaching fatherhood. The differences in the birth of his first and second child. [12:46] Meeting his daughter for the first time. The importance of emotional intelligence. [16:06] The unrelenting horror of sleep deprivation! [21:54] The early days of having his newborn daughter at home. [23:29] Feelings of anger, resulting from Nick's adverse childhood experiences. [27:50] Owning his story and reclaiming his power. [29:20] Fatherhood and masculinity. Discovering 'A Band of Brothers'. Mentorship. [35:27] Recovery, including the E.M.D.R. therapy and mentoring other young men. [43:00] How Nick has changed from the man his wife originally married. [45:21] The importance of fathers engaging with their children - the 'First 1001 Days'. [48:10] Nick's hopes for his son, going forward. [50:06] Advice for those who have experienced abuse, but have never talked about it. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Click here for more information on E.M.D.R., known as Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing.Link to Rosey's website, 'PND and Me', founder of the #PND hour on Twitter.Listen to the Blue MumDays episode 'When Birth Leads to Trauma' with Dr Rebecca Moore. Find out more about charity 'Make Birth Better' here, Rebecca’s organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.Read more on the book 'The Body Keeps The Score' by Bessel Van Der Kolk, “mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma”.This 'Loving Kindness Meditation' will help you relax, reset and recharge. It’s only 15 minutes long and you don’t have to meditate - just close your eyes and listen. There’s no pressure to do anything, but it might just help you to relax. (Thank you to Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 for creating this specially for Blue MumDays.)Learn more about award-winning...

    54 min
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About

Blue MumDays is a podcast about perinatal illness, parenting and being kind to yourself. Up to 1 in 7 mums and 1 in 10 dads will suffer with their mental health after the birth of their baby. Having once interviewed the likes of Sir David Attenborough and Hans Zimmer during my BBC career, I’m now speaking to mums, dads and mental health experts each week, in an effort to understand my own experience of postnatal depression. Dispelling myths, smashing stigma & bringing hope to parents having a hard time.

Information

  • Creator
    Vikki Stephenson
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2025
  • Episodes
    42
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 Vikki Stephenson
  • Show Website
    BLUE MUMDAYS

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