Brilliantly Resilient

Mary Fran Bontempo
  • 4.9 (45)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

What's your train wreck? Everyone has one–past, present, or future. But why do some people come through stronger while others never recover? Hang on for the ride as Mary Fran teaches you to move beyond crisis to discover your Brilliance and Resilience. You'll face challenges with strategies to come through brilliant, not broken, for personal and professional fulfillment and success!

  1. 5d ago

    Episode 247: How to Navigate a High Conflict Relationship and Divorce with Vani Kovitch

    “And that is another part of being resilient. You look within yourself for what you can give yourself that no one is giving you.” Vani Kovitch ~ Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach and Host of the podcast Endgame: Mastering the High Conflict Divorce   What happens when one of the hardest experiences of your life forces you to discover strengths you didn't know you had? On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Mary Fran talks with high-conflict divorce coach Vani Kovitch about surviving what Vani calls “the fight of my life.” While recovering from spinal fusion surgery, Vani entered an extraordinarily difficult divorce that lasted two and a half years. She describes reaching the bottom, making the decision to keep going, becoming strategic rather than reactive, and building what she calls her “dream team.” Eventually, the experience changed not only her life but her direction: she became a high-conflict divorce coach to help others navigate the same kind of challenge. Vani's experience reflects the Brilliantly Resilient framework. As you Reset with Resilience at the beginning of a challenge, you identify the real issues while reducing the emotional spiral and dealing with what you can actually control. For Vani, that meant something as basic as breathing and calming her nervous system before trying to make important decisions. From there, Vani got strategic: gather facts, understand the finances, protect your health, find the right attorney, and build a support system. That's Rise and Thrive in action—you don't have to know how to do everything yourself. You identify what you need, find the people whose strengths complement yours, and take the next step. Perhaps the most Brilliantly Resilient part of Vani's story is what happened after the crisis. The skills she developed didn't disappear when the divorce ended. She learned to recognize when fear and anxiety were taking over, stop the spiral, identify the real problem, determine what she needed, and respond from a calmer place. Those became transferable skills she could carry into the next chapter of her life—and ultimately use in service to other people.  While Vani's experience came about through divorce, it parallels a multitude of challenges. Vani's story is a powerful reminder that Resilience doesn't always feel like strength while you're living through the challenge. Sometimes it's simply taking the next moment, the next hour, the next imperfect action—and discovering afterward just how much strength you were building along the way. To hear more of Vani's wisdom, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Learn more about Vani here, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance. “I'm a strong believer in the saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, because it just does.” “It almost broke me, but it did not.” “I just had to make a decision that I needed to keep going and I had to be very rational and I had to have strategies in place and I built what I call my dream team.” “So number one is to breathe. I know it sounds crazy, but it's very simple. You've got to calm down your nervous system. It's almost like a reset button.” “You have to start to create your own system of support and it's all very methodical and strategic.” “They're like building blocks and you literally just have to be very present and just take each moment at a time, sometimes hour by hour, literally.” “You still have a life going on. While you're fighting this fight of your life, you still have a life. You're still living.” “Once we can identify the problem, then we can decide how we're going to address the problem. But first we have to know what the problem is for ourselves.” “Of course, this is terrifying, but you're going to do it anyway. That is the definition of courage. You're scared to death, but you're going to do it anyway.” “And that is another part of being resilient. You look within yourself for what you can give yourself that no one is giving you.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together. XO, Mary Fran

  2. Aug 13

    Episode 246: How to Build Leadership and Confidence Without Chasing Perfection with Crispin Thompson

    Heading in any direction is better than heading in no direction. Crispin Thompson ~ Founder, The Leadership Studio, Author: The Human Advantage: Emotional Intelligence in the Age of AI   Confidence isn’t about always knowing what to do. According to Crispin Thompson, founder of The Leadership Studio, it begins with knowing yourself well enough to trust what you bring to the moment. Crispin believes strongly in introspection—understanding our strengths, weaknesses, experiences and values—and using that knowledge when circumstances become uncertain. Just as we teach at Brilliantly Resilient, our past challenges aren't merely things we've survived; they're evidence. They remind us of the skills, wisdom and Resilience we've already developed and can call upon again. Crispin also takes direct aim at one of confidence's biggest enemies: perfectionism. Waiting until we're certain of the perfect decision can leave us stuck, while taking imperfect action gives us something to learn from. His philosophy of becoming “better tomorrow than we were today” dovetails beautifully with Brilliantly Resilient's belief in taking one imperfect step, evaluating what happens, and allowing ourselves to evolve. As Crispin says, we cannot remain static in a dynamic world. Resilience isn't about getting everything right; it's about learning, adjusting and continuing to move. And perhaps most importantly, Crispin reminds us that strong leadership isn't about having all the answers or proving that we're the smartest person in the room. It's about empowering others and approaching leadership with humility, gratitude and service--and trusting our emotional intelligence. Crispin believes leaders should focus less on what they can get and more on what they can give—a philosophy that aligns directly with Lead with Heart, Serve with Passion. When we know ourselves, trust our experience, allow others to contribute and use our gifts in service, leadership becomes less about a title and more about how we show up in the world. Learn more about Crispin's methods and wisdom and order your copy of The Human Advantage here. Be sure to listen to this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient Podcast for these additional bits of Brilliance: “I believe very strongly in introspection. We should know ourselves. We should be willing to look inside ourselves.” “We have had missteps or maybe even indeed failures in our past, and we’ve gotten through them.” “I’m a big opponent to the term perfection. I think especially as leaders and communicators, perfection is unachievable. So we should strive for continuous improvement, be better tomorrow than we were today.” “Inaction is so much worse than maybe taking a step forward that at some point in the future we might realize was maybe not the step that we should have taken in that moment.” “We should be willing as leaders to make decisions, to own our decisions, to be accountable for our decisions, whether they are amazing or whether they are slightly less amazing than we would like them to be in hindsight.” “If we cannot evolve in our thinking and our actions, then what are we doing? We cannot be static in a world that is dynamic.” “Something you try today may fail. But it may not fail because it was a bad idea. Maybe the conditions were wrong. Maybe the timing was wrong.” “Heading in any direction is better than heading in no direction.” “We should let our own experience decide whether we need patience or urgency.” “When as leaders, we start to think about serving others and what we can give versus what we can get, I think it becomes so much more internally energizing.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  3. Aug 5

    Episode 245: Building Resilience with Radical Acceptance, with "Breaking Good" Author, Nikki Mammano

    "Healing is not a thunderclap... it's all those tiny moments that build and build and build." Nikki Mammano ~ Author of Breaking Good   Nikki Mammano has been lost--over and over again.  Her story of abuse and abandonment is a worst-case scenerio--which is exactly what makes her redemption, strength and resilience all the more astonishing. Nikki's journey is a powerful reminder that resilience isn't about avoiding hardship—it's about continuing through it. After years of losing herself to the wost a human can experience, including abuse, drugs (using and dealing), jail and prostitution, Nikki clawed her way back to create a stable life with sheer will--again and again. Nikki shares how healing begins with awareness, whether that's recognizing generational patterns, acknowledging painful truths, or finally seeing ourselves clearly. As we say in Brilliantly Resilient, you can't fight an enemy you refuse to see. The truth is the beginning of the way home. Once we can honestly see where we are, we can begin choosing a different path. With an emphasis on progress over perfection, Nikki reminds us that "healing is not a thunderclap," but a series of small, consistent steps that gradually transform our lives. That's exactly how resilience grows—not in one dramatic breakthrough, but in the everyday decision to keep showing up, to keep learning, and to keep moving forward even when the path feels uncertain. After experiencing enormous lapses in familial support, Nikki still believes that resilience is strengthened in community. While resilience begins within us, she reminds us that sometimes all a person needs is one compassionate hand reaching back into the fire. In true Brilliantly Resilient fashion, we can recognize our own strength while using it to encourage, support, and lift others as they discover theirs. Together, those small acts of courage and kindness create lives—and communities—that are truly Brilliantly Resilient. To learn more about Nikki and get your copy of Breaking Good, visit: https://www.nikkimammano.com/.  Be sure to tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and listen for these additional bits of Nikki's Brilliance:  You have to eventually stop and make a conscious decision not to pass those things down. In order to do that, you have to recognize it.... You have to be the cycle breaker...the person doing the hard work. (Regarding generational trauma.) See them...help them and meet them where they are. Because that could be the moment...someone cared. I know what it's like to be surrounded by flames and to think you can't do it, not one more step. But you can and we could do it together. That goes with my biggest healing lesson so far, which is radical acceptance, which was an extremely hard one. Please stay, hang in there, do the work. It is so worth it... The beauty is there. I wish that things had been different, but I also wish they hadn't, because everything that I've been through has gotten me to where I am, No matter how steep the hill was... I've always picked myself up... and kept climbing. You got to keep going. Sometimes... that person might have the resilience but need just that one hand to pick them up. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  4. Jun 22

    Episode 244: How to Build Confidence One Decision at a Time, with American Confidence Institute Founder, Alyssa Dver

    “Confidence is the resolution of fear.” Alyssa Dver ~ Founder of the American Confidence Institute and ERG Leadership Alliance and best-selling author of 8 books, including Confidence is a Choice and Kickass Confidence   How confident are you? Confidence is a loaded word—we all want it, but we don’t always (or often) feel it, especially when it’s needed for something important to us. Founder and head of both the American Confidence Institute and ERG Leadership Alliance and best-selling author of 8 books, Alyssa Dver is an expert who blends brain science, data and insights to help build confidence while creating lasting personal and cultural change. While most of us think confidence is a personality trait you’re born with or without, Alyssa disagrees. She notes that confidence is actually a skill—one that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time. Drawing on brain science, coaching experience, and years of research, Alyssa shows how confidence is built not by eliminating fear, but by understanding it and responding to it intentionally. Alyssa believes that fear often masks deeper concerns about failure, rejection, or belonging, and dealing with the sources of fear can effectively build confidence. One of the most compelling connections in relation to the Brilliantly Resilient mindset is the relationship between confidence and personal values. Alyssa argues that true confidence isn't about pushing through every challenge or saying yes to every opportunity. Instead, confidence comes from understanding what matters most and making decisions that align with those values. She encourages others to look beneath the surface of their fears, identify what is truly important to them, and use those priorities as guideposts. For women who often find themselves carrying responsibilities, meeting expectations, and putting others first, this perspective offers a powerful framework for making more intentional choices. The place of confidence also relates to belonging, self-trust, and the freedom that comes with experience. Alyssa suggests that many of our fears are rooted in concerns about what other people think and how those fears can keep us from showing up authentically. By learning to identify the real fear, challenge it, and take ownership of the decision-making process, individuals can develop greater confidence in themselves and their choices one decision at a time. For more of Alyssa’s wisdom, listen to this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to check out these additional bits of brilliance: "Confidence is the result of a decision." "You took agency over that fear." "The fear isn't the presentation. There's something underneath there that's really causing it." "What's the worst that could happen? Let me give it a try." "That takes confidence—to admit you screwed up, you're wrong, you failed." "The older we get, the more we realize 99% of what freaked us out when we were young was so trivial." "If it's something that you really feel you need to do for whatever reason, then step into that and say, 'This is important to me.'" "Don't violate your own values and you'll be confident." "Every fear is (grounded in) this fear of not belonging." "The real boundaries, the rule book, is your values." Let’s all be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  5. May 28

    Episode 243: Growing Resilience Through Human Connection, with "Make Do and Mend" Author Anne Putnam

    “Anything that makes somebody feel less alone matters.” Anne Putnam ~ Author of Make Do and Mend   Have you ever had your heart broken? If you've been lucky enough to be in love, it's likely you've experienced the counterpart of starry-eyed bliss--heartbreak. Having your heart broken is one of the most painful of human experiences. With no clear remedy for the pain, and no timeframe as to when it will end, heartbreak shapes and forms us in ways that last, even if we don't want it to. Anne Putnam knows heartbreak, and she shares her experiences in her memoir, Make Do and Mend, with the pain, honesty and eventually, rise into a new, full and happy existence as she processed her experience and found new love. Anne offers a heartfelt conversation about heartbreak, human connection, empathy, and the resilience born through suffering. Noting how pain can isolate us, she also recognizes how compassion and presence can reconnect us to one another in meaningful ways. Rather than trying to “fix” people, Anne reminds us of the power of simply saying, “I see you and I am here.” Throughout this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Anne shares profound insights about emotional honesty, grief, and the importance of allowing people space to experience pain without judgment or forced solutions. As we say in Brilliantly Resilient, imperfect is always a path forward, and Anne shows us that embracing imperfect humanity, releasing the pressure to have all the answers, and recognizing that connection itself can be healing are all relevant responses to the pains of being human. Further, it becomes clear that empathy requires courage — the courage to stay present even when we cannot solve someone else’s suffering. As Anne reminds us that “everything we go through has its use” and “two things can be true,” this conversation offers listeners permission to hold both grief and growth at the same time. We receive an honest, compassionate exploration of what it means to move through hardship without losing one's humanity — and perhaps even discovering deeper connection and purpose along the way. For more of Anne's wisdom, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Learn more about Ann here, and pick up your copy of Make Do and Mend here. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Anne's brilliance: “If you want to sit here in silence, I’m here to do that.” “We make the world better when people feel they’re not alone in what they’re experiencing.” “You have no idea how that experience might help you understand yourself better… or be more empathetic toward someone else.” “It doesn’t matter how much good stuff you get out of extreme pain — that doesn’t mean you’d choose the pain again.” “The whole point of existence is connection.” “We should be so connected by this intense awareness of other people’s experience.” “It’s not a matter of solving the problems. It’s a matter of recognizing the humanity in that person.” “We just have to find ways to connect with each other because it is the whole point of existence.” “It is about our ability to form those connections… based on thoughtful, empathetic choice.” “Everything we go through has its use.” “You have no idea how that might come in and click with something else that happens to you in the future.” “Two things can be true.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  6. May 12

    Episode 242: How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable, with Author, Speaker and Coach, Patrick Engasser

    “Your purpose is not to sit in that comfort zone, but to step out and experience the world and find out where you can make an impact.” ~ Patrick Engasser, Speaker, Coach, and Author of If I Can Do It, You Can Do It! Inspiration for Eliminating Excuses, Overcoming Challenges and Succeeding in Business and Life   Do you like your comfort zone? Most of us do, because it's, well, comfortable. But Patrick Engasser never had the opportunity to experience the comfort zone most of us share. Blind since birth, Patrick has spent a lifetime navigating obstacles that sighted people never encounter. The skills he's amassed from that experience have informed and nurtured a mindset that recognizes "liabilities as leverage" and is wary of a comfort zone that encourages complacency. Resilience has been a way of life for Patrick, and on this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, he shares how learning to navigate the world differently became one of his greatest strengths, teaching him creativity, adaptability, and the value of “doing hard things.” Further, Patrick notes that many of the limitations we face are not external obstacles, but internal stories rooted in fear, perfectionism, and the desire to stay emotionally safe. Patrick also endorses imperfect action as a practical path towards growth and overcoming fear. He explains why growth rarely happens inside the comfort zone and why resilience is built through repetition, persistence, and a willingness to fail forward. Releasing emotional burdens, utilizing transferable skills, leading with integrity and pursuing purpose-driven work that serves others also allowed Patrick to transform both his career and his life, underscoring why learning to separate feelings from action is essential for personal and professional growth. Patrick reminds us that resilience is not about perfection—it’s about trusting yourself enough to take the next step, even when it feels uncomfortable. For more of Patrick's wisdom, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Learn more about Patrick and his book here, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance:  “The comfort zone is the most expensive place you’ll ever live.” “Your brain is designed to protect you from that negative experience because your brain doesn’t know whether it’s protecting you from a saber-toothed tiger… or just protecting you from that bad feeling.” “The comfort zone creates complacency if it’s a place where we live all the time.” “If you don’t do this, it’s a guarantee that positive thing won’t happen.” “Usually getting past the mental blocks is harder than learning the actual skills.” “When it became about other people instead of about me making money, everything shifted.” “We often measure the pain of trying, but not the cost of standing still.” “If you focus only on what you don’t have, you’ll never recognize how far you’ve already come.” “You don’t have to ignore fear. You just can’t let it decide for you.” “If you want to be good at something, you have to be willing to do it imperfectly.” “Your purpose is not to sit in that comfort zone, but to step out and experience the world and find out where you can make an impact.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  7. Apr 30

    Episode 241: Leaving the “Should Be” Career Path: Success, Expectations, and the Courage to Pivot with Jamie Cooperstein

    “I thought it was still just going to be my next job. I had no idea it was setting me up for an entirely different career path.” ~ Jamie Cooperstein, Author of True Hospitality: Lessons Learned from Behind the Concierge Desk, Founder: J.Cooperstein Hospitality Consulting   Has your life gone according to plan? Jamie Cooperstein's didn't. With a clear vision of becoming a sports broadcaster, Jamie thought she did everything right, and approached her after college job search with high expectations. But unenthusiastic feedback by a mentor along with external rejection stopped Jamie's dreams in their tracks, leaving her with confidence shaken and no idea of what to do next. On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Jamie shares her pain and frustration, noting how she eventually moved forward on an unexpected yet fulfilling path. Jamie embarked on a career as a high-end hotel concierge, redirecting her transferrable and innate skill set as she evolved with resilience to ultimately start her own consulting business and teach at area universities. Central to Jamie's story is the recognition and application of transferable, innate strengths—a cornerstone of the Brilliantly Resilient philosophy. Her journalistic skills--curiosity, asking meaningful questions, connecting with people—became the very talents that allowed her to thrive in hospitality and beyond, highlighting the importance of evolution through challenge. Jamie faced repeated uncertainties that could have halted her progress. Instead, she chose forward motion—even if imperfect. Her decision to write her book during a time of forced pause (yep, the pandemic) is a perfect example of turning constraint into opportunity. Jamie’s story reminds us that resilience isn’t about avoiding disruption—it’s about responding to it with intention, creativity, and a willingness to keep going, even when the path looks nothing like what we originally planned. For more of Jamie's wisdom, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Learn more about Jamie at J. Cooperstein Hospitality Consulting, and order your copy of True Hospitality: Lessons Learned from Behind the Concierge Desk. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: At 21 and quite impressionable… I lost my confidence.” “I still sent out the demo tape… kind of as a Hail Mary attempt… and heard back from nobody. It was a sucker punch.” “I thought it was still just going to be my next job. I had no idea it was setting me up for an entirely different career path.” “That curiosity… was what I enjoyed about journalism—and it ended up being exactly what I needed as a concierge.” “I had guilt that I wasn’t using my degree… that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing.” “There were definitely thoughts swirling… like, is this really the best that I can do?” “You keep getting back up… and I feel like they make you stronger.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

  8. Mar 23

    Episode 240: The “Kudos Folder” Mindset: Owning What You’ve Achieved with "Unapologetic" Author, Nicole Stephenson

    “I talk about having a kudos folder… you can’t lie with statistics.” Nicole Stephenson: President and CEO of Unapologetic: Boldly Lead the Life and Career You Deserve   How often do you doubt yourself? If you're a woman, the answer is most likely "a lot." And it's not because women aren't accomplished, but rather that life has taken us places other than where we thought we'd end up, which many of us view as a failure. Not so, notes Nicole Stephenson, founder and CEO of Narrative Consulting and Author of Unapologetic: Boldly Lead the Life and Career You Deserve. Once seeing herself as achieving the goal of becoming a teacher, Nicole found herself working in marketing for a Philadelphia radio station upon graduation from college. She started the station's Facebook page and implemented other innovations which greatly contributed to the station's visibility and marketing ambitions. Next up was a highly successful tenure as Executive Director for The Society of Professional Women for the Philadelphia Main Line Chamber of Commerce. And now, founder of her own company and author. Yet despite these successes, Nicole acknowledges the presence of self-doubt-- recognizinging the internal struggle many women face, noting, “It is not easy to say, ‘I’m good at something.’” By encouraging practices like keeping a “kudos folder” she offers tangible ways to counter the tendency to downplay achievements. Her reflection—“I totally downplayed my accomplishment… like this was just an everyday thing for me”—captures a common pattern among high-achieving women, who also need to own and share their brilliance.  Further, Nicole reinforces the importance of honoring personal growth and evolution without judgment, a key pillar of Brilliantly Resilient. Stating that “We need to stop labeling things we don’t attain as failure” encourages us to redefine resilience and success on our own terms. By encouraging women to embrace their experiences, celebrate their progress, and remain open to possibility, Nicole echoes the Brilliantly Resilient belief that resilience is not just about pushing through—it’s about recognizing your value, adapting with intention, and allowing your brilliance to evolve. (Oh, and by the way, Nicole is now a lecturer at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, fulfilling her long-held dream of teaching!) Be sure to pick up your copy of Unapologetic: Boldly Lead the Life and Career You Deserve and connect with Nicole here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-stephenson/ https://narrativaconsulting.com https://www.instagram.com/_nicole_stephenson/?hl=en  Tune in to this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for more of Nicole's wisdom and listen for these additional bits of brilliance!    “I talk about having a kudos folder… you can’t lie with statistics.” “If I increased my sales budget by 26%, that’s not me bragging—that’s a fact.” “You have to admit it to yourself—you have to say, ‘I’m struggling with self-doubt.’” “It is not easy to say, ‘I’m good at something.’ I am in my head all the time.” “I totally downplayed my accomplishment… like this was just an everyday thing for me.” “Why didn’t I live in this moment longer?” “Don’t be afraid—if the door doesn’t open, go through a window.” “You never know where your talents lie… sometimes other people know you better than you know yourself.” "We're not tied to any one thing; we don't have to be." Thank you, Nicole! Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

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About

What's your train wreck? Everyone has one–past, present, or future. But why do some people come through stronger while others never recover? Hang on for the ride as Mary Fran teaches you to move beyond crisis to discover your Brilliance and Resilience. You'll face challenges with strategies to come through brilliant, not broken, for personal and professional fulfillment and success!

Information

  • Creator
    Mary Fran Bontempo
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    116
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2020-2023 Brilliantly Resilient
  • Show Website
    Brilliantly Resilient