"Writing yourself into existence" with Lyle McKeany
This conversation is part of a series of interviews with various brothers and teachers, including many fellow writers, all of which are part of the body of work surrounding my book-length memoir An Ordinary Disaster—one man's proof that we can all learn to listen to ourselves, and to act upon the inner voice of our self, our sanity and our soul. Lyle McKeany is the writer behind Just Enough to Get Me in Trouble as well as a creative coach, and Bowen Dwelle writes DECIDE NOTHING, which includes his serialized memoir in progress An Ordinary Disaster, about a man learning to listen to himself. One of the most powerful things about Substack is community and connection with other writers. Our goal with this new collaborative interview format is to share something deeper about each others’ work with our readers. We got together on May 11, 2023 for a deep and wide-ranging conversation that covered why we chose to write memoir, the power of story as a way to write oneself into existence, what memoir is (and isn’t), how writing is like music, the power of reading aloud, the value of having a writing group, the biggest pros and cons of Substack, whether we invested in Substack, writing about writing, what we’re afraid to write about, how men can say “sex”, what it’s like to be writing memoir as a man, the value of writing groups, telling the truth, and our biggest challenge as writers. If you’re a writer who shares pieces of their personal life on the page, if you’re curious about what it’s like to do so, or if you’re a reader of memoir, we think you’ll get a lot out of this conversation. Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, further reading on memoir, and some questions for you— we’d love to hear from you! Use the ♡ and comments below 👇🏻 Bowen and Lyle on Men Writing Memoir Listen to the audio right here on Substack or watch us on YouTube above. We haven’t included a transcript because it’s so darn long, but if you’d like to read this instead of listen, just ask in the comments below ⬇️ ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️ Please SUBSCRIBE for more of our writing Bowen writes memoir and personal essay on topics including alcohol, addiction and depression… adventure, fitness, sports, and nature… identity, masculinity, fatherhood and being child-free, advertising, entrepreneurship, and conferences… creativity, intuition, archetypes, consciousness, symbols, and youth… San Francisco, California, travel… love, relationships and sex, among other things. If you’re not already a subscriber to Bowen’s substack, please do take this opportunity to subscribe now. Lyle writes about his own life as a father to a daughter with cerebral palsy, questions such as How do I define success? and What is normal, anyway?, breaking up with his therapist, his previous life in music, as well as home projects, divorce, time, dogs, exercise, FOMO, living in the suburbs, context switching, travel, not caring so much, small talk, and even couches, among other things. If you’re not already a reader and subscriber of Lyle’s work, please take this opportunity to subscribe now. Further Reading Here are two of the more popular pieces we’ve written on Substack: Other Writers of Memoir on Substack Michael Mohr's Sincere American Writing The Recovering Academic by Joshua Doležal Men, Myself, & I: Revelations of an Opened Marriageby Minda Lane Deep Fix by Alex Olshonsky A Memoir Worth Writing by Euwyn Goh Living the In-Between Times by Marika Páez Wiesen visa's voltaic verses ⚡️ by visakan veerasamy Cured: The Memoir by Sarah Fay Practice Space by Andrei Șișman DID YOU SLEEP WITH THE MODELS? by SAM STAGGSInner Workings by Rae Katz The Loaf, with Tim Kreider Writing on Memoir and… Writing The Art of Memoir — Karr, MaryMethod Writing: The First Four Concepts — Grapes, JackOn Writing: A Memoir of t