CFDS 024: From Suicidal To Sensational

The story I've never told about how I know you can recover from being suicidal and go on to live a happy life. Plus food tips to get you started to beat depression.
Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.
I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:
From Suicidal To Sensational
In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best ways to use food to beat depression and help get your emotional life back on track.
OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story. It's a big one.

My inspiration for this story

A very short time ago – last week in fact – I learned that one of my favorite rock singers ever, Chester Bennington, committed suicide. And I was pretty shaken for days afterwards – not because I was close to him, because I wasn't. I never actually met him, although I was fortunate enough to see him live in concert about ten days before he died. Not because I didn't love his singing, because I did. But because I thought to myself, 'If Chester had known what I know, maybe he wouldn't have had to die'.
So Chester this episode is dedicated to you. As well as to anyone who is experiencing the kind of debilitating sadness that can end in a life ended way too soon.
So that's why I'm sharing with you a very personal story that I've never shared before. I want to tell you exactly why I can help people who feel they're broken. People who feel so unhappy, that suicide looks like the only way out. And I'm sharing this because if this even helps one person listening, then it will be worth it.
This story is about depression, and about how you can absolutely one hundred percent overcome it. How you can kick it to the curb so that it never darkens your door again. Yes you can beat depression and I will tell you how to start.

The first time I was depressed

The first time I was very depressed that I can remember, I was about eight years old. All I remember is that I was sitting on the bed in my parents' room, holding my dad's revolver on my lap and wondering if I could pull the trigger. I must have seen TV shows with people shooting each other or something. I mean I don't know how else I could have known at such a young age how to use a gun. My dad never showed us how to use it. And I don't even remember how I knew the gun was in there. He must have taken it out at one point, I don't know.
There's a lot from my childhood that I don't remember because although on the whole it was a happy childhood with travel and lots of animals and all kinds of very good things, parts of it were not so good. One event in particular when I was about three years old was blocked from my memory until many years later – but that's another story.
Anyway I was sitting with this gun on my lap and obviously I didn't pull the trigger. But I can remember that I wanted to. I really wanted to – but I thought I wasn't brave enough. It took me many years actually to realize that by deciding not to pull the trigger was the brave decision. It takes a lot more courage to face your fears and try to move past them than it does to obliterate everything with a gun shot, a jump off a roof or whatever.

Playing dolls house with a child psychiatrist

At some point my parents took me to a child psychiatrist, because my teachers at school were worried about me. They were worried for good reason because I was crying all the time. At least, that's what they told me. I don't actually remember that, fortunately, but it must have been true. I mean, why would they lie, right?
So I went to this child psychiatrist and we basically played with a dolls house for an hour and he'd talk to my parents afterwards. I remember him asking me to t