191 episodes

A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.

Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.

Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Tony Santore

    • Science
    • 4.9 • 437 Ratings

A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.

Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.

Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.

    The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten

    The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten

    This conversation will make you want to buy a microscope and will make you rethink the way you envision the Tree of Life, where animals, plants and fungi are just a tiny speck on the overall tree of life.

    Dr. Julia Van Etten (of the @Couch Microscopy Instagram page) talks about what the hell a Protist is and where you can find them (everywhere). We reveal how Protists are the fine particles that weave within and throughout our world."The Tree of Life is Really a Web".

    The paper that the thumbnail is from can be found at : https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article/figures?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002395

    • 2 hr 20 min
    Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes

    Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes

    In this episode we take a break from botany-related content to talk with my friend and fellow former locomotive engineer and railroader Lance Jenkins about railroading, sobriety, sad male archetypes in the US, stealing overtime, precision scheduled railroading and how it's responsible for the wreck in East Palestine Ohio,  "The Sun Train", and a whole lot more.

    • 2 hr 13 min
    Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers

    Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers

    South Texas Sandsheet, Uvalde County Botany, Using a Leafblower & Diatomaceous Earth to rid yourself of crabs, what the sh*t is a Heterokont aka Stramenophile, Texas Men Will Be Able to Admit Having Feelings in 2028, and more 

    • 1 hr 23 min
    Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest

    Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest

    In this episode we talk with Hunter Martinez of the Cactus Quest YouTube Channel about how he got into growing cacti from seed and lurking on them in habitat. We discuss the spirituality of loving plants and deserts, the pros and cons of the collector habit common among this family of plants, why so many cacti grow on limestone geology, and the benefits of growing from seed over purchasing full-grown plants.

    • 1 hr 44 min
    Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc

    Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc

    A series of extended rants about "F*ck the Honeybees", trying to settle beefs between friends, Male Primate Rivalry, Riding Trains in Mexico in 2005 & Brakemen with gold fronts, spreading the cult of native plant gardening via demonstration by example and killing lawns.

    • 1 hr 18 min
    Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching

    Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching

    A long-winded rant about the social media phenomenon known as Instagram Drug Bros™️ and trying to encourage them to seek spiritual refuge (como se dice nice) in education about plant ecology and evolution rather than just the hoarding and collecting of plants that may have been sourced through somewhat unethical means. Why is plant habitat just as, if not more important than the plant itself? How is the ecological context in which a plant evolves inseparable from the plant itself? Can we get Instagram Drug Bros ™️  to start studying and collecting data on things like native solitary bees? What are the means through which Instagram Drug Bros™️ can expand their scope of interest to include things like phylogenies, breeding systems, pollination ecology, and geologic substrate? Why are so many cacti obligate out-crossers? Why is peyote self-fertile? Why do so many angiosperms produce bisexual flowers and what the hell is a breeding system?

    Also includes a nice rant about  a vestigial population of Agave unvittata found growing on a limestone cliff face above a freeway in San Antonio. Was there ever a basement in the Alamo or was that just a BS story that that huckster psychic conjured up in order to milk PeeWee out of cash?

    • 1 hr 6 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
437 Ratings

437 Ratings

Megology ,

Gets me through the day

The intellectual content I didn’t know I had been missing. Joey has rekindled my passion for learning. I’ve got stacks of textbooks, field guides, so many downloaded pdf’s, and albums full or plant/environment pictures. Thank you for inspiring me to enjoy something meaningful again!

Sean Rulz ,

Amazingly Informative

I found this podcast through the YouTube channel. I have rekindled my passion for botany and other science as well.

Jacobele ,

SO informative

I love this podcast, from plants to lichens… it covers a lot of different botanical topics. Always informative, interesting, usually hilarious. The only thing I recommend to change is running ads that are increments of 15 & 30 sec so they are easier to skip thru w the skip button.

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