Date Like A Nerd

1天前

The Hidden Cost of Finding Love With Red Pill Dating: John's Nerd Love Story

💊 What happens when red pill advice "works"? John thought he'd found the cheat code to dating when his nerdy high school friend got a girlfriend using pickup artist tactics. But after years of grinding bars and clubs, he discovered the hidden costs of building relationships on a foundation of masks 🎭 👨‍💻 In this episode, a 40-something programmer shares his journey from socially isolated nerd to pickup artist practitioner to married father, and the unexpected ways those dating experiences still affect his relationships today. John also opens up about performance anxiety, avoidant attachment, and the challenge of taking off the masks he's worn for so long 👺 🥷 We explore the darker side of the pickup artist and red pill communities: the confidence that's really avoidance, the "success" that leads to deeper insecurity, and why pretending to be someone else can make it impossible to believe anyone could love the real you 😰 John's story reveals how the very techniques designed to help socially awkward nerds connect actually prevented him from forming the deep, trusting relationships he was seeking. 🛑 But this isn't just a cautionary tale. John also shares what he's learned through therapy about attachment theory, the importance of authentic friendship-first connections, and why the journey to genuine intimacy is worth the work. Even if you're approaching 50 and still figuring it out! 👴 👯‍♀️ If you've ever been tempted by pickup artist or red pill advice, wondered why mainstream dating tips don't work for nerds like you, or struggled with feeling like you have to perform to be loved, John's honest reflection offers both validation and hope. 🎧 Press Start to discover why leveling up your game may not be worth the grind! 💪 👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️ Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality 📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord Related Episodes: Rejected, Friendzoned, and Not Reading the SignalsPhysical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: the Nerd Love Story of Jose and JulianGamify Your Dating AnxietyThe Nice Guy vs the Kind Man, with AprilDating In The Tolkien Association, with JoseHow to Make Nerd Friends, with Pete “Belmont” Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:02:22 What Makes "John" A Nerd00:05:42 Dating On The Spectrum00:10:31 Intro To The Pickup Artist Scene00:14:53 Becoming Someone Else00:19:51 Introverts Do Find Love00:23:19 Dating Success But Performance Anxiety00:29:32 The Source Of Insecurity00:35:58 Marriage Problems00:41:18 Fake It Till You Make It00:46:14 Becoming Confident00:52:51 The Real Red Pill01:01:15 Closing #datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #pickupartist #redpill Contact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

1 小时 3 分钟

9月3日

How to Make Nerd Friends, with Pete "Belmont"

😭 Meeting your Player 2 organically can be a challenging quest. It involves balancing making friends while keeping an eye out for potential connections. Sometimes, people in a certain group don't share your same passions. Or perhaps not as much as you'd hope. So, how do you move forward? 🤔 In this episode, Pete and I talk about how we socialize, whether the others share our same interests or not 💬 Because sometimes what can seem like a rejection, may in fact turn into an engaging conversation for everyone. You just need a little imagination! 💭 🙈 Pete also shared how he went from being a shy, quiet, serious kid to being comfortable talking to everyone. Just like Attachment Theory teaches, it often involves the support of other people. In his case, with the help of other kids who invited him to hang out 🥳 💪 This validation of Pete's hobbies gave him the security that he had nothing to be ashamed of as a nerd. Even more so nowadays, with Marvel, Fantasy, and Anime being so popular! 🧙‍♂️ 🎧 Are you ready to become a social nerd? Press Start! 👾 Most nerd relationships start as friendships. Download the FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality 🕹️ 📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord Pete's Links: https://linktr.ee/be1monthttps://www.instagram.com/be1mont_lotr/https://www.youtube.com/@be1mont_lotrhttps://bsky.app/profile/be1mont.bsky.socialhttps://www.tiktok.com/@be1mont_lotrhttps://www.youtube.com/@voicesofarda Related Episodes: The High School Reunion: the Nerd Love Story of Pete and ArianaHobbit HikeFind Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee LopezDating In The Tolkien AssociationAnimé Los AngelesFind Your Nerd Community: Where to Meet Nerds, with JoseThe Tolkien Association: Where to Meet Nerds, with Vir Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:00:41 Where to Meet Your Player 200:02:26 Being a Creep00:04:32 Talking About Your Hobbies00:07:11 Dealing With Rejection00:10:56 Not Being Too Serious00:16:07 Gaining Confidence00:21:14 ClosingContact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

23 分钟

8月20日

From No Dates to Feeling Truly Seen and Accepted: Kirk's Story

💔 How can you find someone to date when dating apps aren't working for you, and all you do is work, stay at home, and meet with the same D&D group or spend full days with one single person at a time playing Warhammer? 🧌 In this episode, Kirk shared his challenges to date as a single nerd 😰 Like many people, he was promised that "if you focus on yourself and sort your life out, someone will naturally come." Unfortunately, that was not the case. He found a steady job and a home, but nobody to share his life with 🏡 📱 Since dating apps weren't working, he decided to shelf the thought of a partner and focus on hobbies like Warhammer and TTRPG. Ironically, that's what led to his first date ever. Even though Kirk started feeling like he was way too busy and almost without options, he managed to find a date. And in the same way that he found one, he can find another. And so can you 🫵Sometimes, we create our characters in ways that don't help us reach our complete specific quests 🤬 We thought a certain build would do the trick for every single area, but that's often not the case. 🏢 The life you thought would lead to happiness may feel more like a trap than anything else. In those cases, taking a step back and thinking of ways to find your Player 2 may be the best strategy. Like Kirk, with some brainstorming and looking at your past successes, you may find a way to defeat the BBEG and get the loot! 🪙 🎧 Are you ready? PRESS START! 👾 👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️ Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality 📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord Related Episodes: Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee LopezIRL Lessons from Video Games, with Dr. Daniel KaufmannPhysical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: the Nerd Love Story of Jose and JulianShy meets Socially Anxious, and Going Slow: the Nerd Love Story of Steven and Christin Timestamps for lazy nerds: #datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast Contact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

1 小时 1 分钟

8月6日

Dating In The Tolkien Association, with Jose

👯 What does dating within a nerd community look like? Finding a group you're comfortable with can help you "just be yourself" and find your Player 2. 🙌 It also means you'll be enjoying yourself until that happens, which makes you more attractive! 🧙‍♂️ In this episode, Jose and I discuss what it was like to date within the Argentine Tolkien Association, where we met. Just like a Skill Tree, each friend you make can introduce you to others who are similar. From within those people, you may end up finding your Player 2... as long as you focus on expanding your network with like-minded friends. 👀 And that's exactly what we saw. Almost everyone there found someone to date (or have "something" with). Almost. Because some people were trying too hard, and that was what kept everyone away. Both as friends and as benefits 😔 🎧 If you want someone to give The One Ring to, listen to this episode! 💍 💬 And if you're wondering where you can meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where 📱Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord Related Episodes: The Tolkien Association: Where to Meet Nerds, with VirFind Your Nerd Community: Where to Meet Nerds, with JoseTolkien meets Star Wars: The Nerd Love Story of Kaia and CelaniaPhysical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: The Nerd Love Story of Jose and Julian Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:54:09 What to Do and NOT to Do00:06:06 "Just Be Yourself"00:08:44 Choosing Who You Want to Be and Date00:11:53 Go Slow With Your Nerdom00:15:40 Conversation Tips for Info-Dumping Nerds00:19:07 Find Your Community First #datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #tolkien #lotr Contact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

22 分钟

7月23日

IRL Lessons from Video Games, with Dr. Daniel Kaufmann

🦾 What you consider success and achievements in real life could be similar to how you play video games. Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is back to share how learning what we value in video games reflects what we may also value IRL 🌎 Understanding your player type can help you make choices that align with your personality 🤓 Knowing how you play video games can say a lot about the types of challenges you thrive on and how you prefer to overcome them. This new information can help you make choices that align with what you enjoy, helping you get over obstacles and get yourself in situations where you can thrive! 🏆 But just like with any other model of personality type, these are characteristics that can change over time 📈 You likely don't play only one specific type of video game, so you're also likely to enjoy different things in real life. However, using these as guidelines can be the start to enjoying your life to the full 🤩 🖤 Dating, like most things in life, has its own set of challenges. The cheat code is to choose the ones we're more likely to enjoy or, at least, find tolerable enough to overcome ⛰️ Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Listen now and start choosing the best challenges for your player type! 👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️ Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality Guest Bio Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is a YouTube Partner as Dr. Gameology, where he teaches about the many positive elements of video games that help us overcome professional and personal journeys in real life. He is an Associate Professor who’s helped develop programs for gaming and geek therapy training in clinical settings, and his publications cover video games, personality theory, online education, and counselor development. Dr. Kaufmann recently published the book The Gamer’s Journey, to help you turn the themes found in many video games into life lessons that can unlock your own potential. Socials: @DrGameology https://www.youtube.com/@DrGameology https://www.instagram.com/drgameology/ https://www.facebook.com/DrGameology https://www.twitch.tv/drgameology Other Links https://drgameology.com/ https://discord.com/invite/3bY5u5EBcn Podcast https://drgameology.com/podcast/ Book: The Gamer's Journey https://www.amazon.com/Gamers-Journey-Daniel-Kaufmann-PhD-ebook/dp/B0D7NY5Z1R Related Episodes: Beat the Fear of Rejection Through Your Gamer’s JourneyGamify Your Dating AnxietyFind Love Through Online Games Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:01:23 Gamer Personality Types00:07:00 Learn From Your Player Type00:12:28 Understanding Personality Types00:17:58 What Playing Baldur's Gate 3's Dark Urge Says About You00:20:48 Takeaways From "The Gamer's Journey"00:22:21 Contact Info Contact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

25 分钟

7月9日

The High School Reunion: the Nerd Love Story of Pete and Ariana

📆 High school crushes don't have to end with the academic year. Sometimes, relationships may benefit from a respawn much later. After gaining more XP, both players gain new ways to play together. What used to be two solo players may turn into a Co-Op game 💍 In this episode, Pete "Belmont" shares how he lost contact with his high school crush, only to meet again 10 years later at their high school reunion 🧑‍🏫 Though still platonic, that encounter later developed into a close friendship that naturally grew into a romantic relationship. 👻 For many couples, friendship is just the stepping stone towards a fulfilling relationship. Rather than fearing the Friend Zone, Pete shares how it was a natural transition for them. He finds that communicating your wants and needs is key. It's all about showing yourself to the world, including your interests and hobbies 🧩 🤓 Both Pete and Ariana were nerds, though with slightly different tastes. But because neither of them hid it, and they accepted each other, many of their interests now overlap. To the point that she now watches more anime than he! 🖥️ If you want a Player 2 who joins your nerd Quests (including a Hobbit banquet with a LotR marathon), this is the episode for you! 🍖 🎧 Press Start to go on an adventure... for two! ⛰️ 🖤 WHERE TO MEET YOUR PLAYER 2 ORGANICALLY🎮 200+ places and a walkthrough to guide you on your Quest! Download for FREE at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where Pete's Links: https://linktr.ee/be1monthttps://www.instagram.com/be1mont_lotr/https://www.youtube.com/@be1mont_lotrhttps://bsky.app/profile/be1mont.bsky.socialhttps://www.tiktok.com/@be1mont_lotrhttps://www.youtube.com/@voicesofarda Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:41:20 What Makes Pete a Nerd00:02:38 The High School Crush00:05:00 Escalating from Friends to Lovers00:06:12 Discovering a Fellow Nerd00:09:55 Friends to Lovers Transition00:11:03 The Friend Zone00:16:08 Being Confident in Your Nerd Self00:21:19 Closing#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #socialskills #podcast #lotr #tolkien #hobbit #anime Contact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

23 分钟

6月25日

Hobbit Hike: Where to Meet Nerds, with Sompi Harmetz

🧝‍♀️ Wish you could find your Fellowship without having to roll a Nat 20 on charisma? Many shy, introverted nerds want to touch grass and be more sociable... without having to join extrovert quests! If that's you, Hobbit Hike could be the perfect solution! 🙌 In this episode, Sompi invites us to join “Hobbit Hike”, a magical, costume-friendly adventure where nerds, geeks, and gamers gather to touch grass, twirl swords, and unlock their social tree ⚔️ Whether you’re a veteran cosplayer, a D&D dice goblin, or just someone who’d rather sit on a rock in the forest than shout over a hentai lounge, this episode will show you a new way to build your party. 🤯 Hobbit Hike exploded from a handful of cosplay friends to a 70+ member stronghold, all while keeping things introvert-friendly and low-pressure. Sompi’s “assigned extroverts” and buddy systems make sure even the quietest newcomers find their people. With a mix of easy hikes and whimsical costumes, you'll find that the best connections happen when you’re not racing to the finish line 🏁 🎧 Ready to level up your social life and unlock the Tolkien branch of your social tree? Press start and let’s go on an adventure! 🧙‍♂️ 🖤 WHERE (AND HOW) TO MEET SOMEONE ORGANICALLY! 🎮 FREE WALKTHROUGH with 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where 📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord About Sompi Sompi is the founder of Healthbar Fitness, where she helps nerds, geeks, and gamers level up their health without abandoning the hobbies they love. Her journey began with personal struggles with negative body image and extreme dieting, including a stint in competitive bodybuilding that left her trapped in unhealthy cycles. Now, Sompi is on a mission to help other nerds achieve similar transformations. Beyond online coaching, she organizes Hobbit Hike in Las Vegas, where people hike in Renaissance festival outfits, and runs a vibrant Discord community with book clubs, movie nights, and craft sessions. At Healthbar Fitness, Sompi understands that true health includes community and personal growth—it's about building a balanced character sheet for real life while still having fun with the things you love. Sompi's Links: https://discord.gg/8jtQZR2YeFhttps://www.youtube.com/@sompiharmetzhttps://www.instagram.com/sompiharmetz/Related Episodes: The Tolkien AssociationFind Your Nerd CommunityAnimé Los AngelesTolkien meets Star WarsFind Love Through Online Games Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:01:22 What's Hobbit Hike00:02:47 Who Joins Hobbit Hike00:04:10 Fitness Level Required00:06:34 A Different Hike00:07:46 Helping Introverts Fit In00:14:56 Checkin In On Attendees00:17:08 Reading Signs of Interest00:19:21 Keeping Everyone Safe00:24:08 Connecting Outside Hobbit Hike00:27:06 Start Your Own!00:27:48 Contact InfoContact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

29 分钟

6月11日

Dating The Twitch Streamer on Discord: the Nerd Love Story of Luna and Jason

💬 Finding love on Discord is possible. Even if your Player 2 is the streamer who created the server. That said, there are some things you should keep in mind and that you want to avoid. After all, you can't meet anyone in person if you get banned! 📵 In this episode, GamerMomLuna and Jason share how they went from a Twitch chat NPC to streamer relationship to a co-op campaign building a life under the same roof 🏡 It wasn't an overnight evolution, and it wasn't planned, either. 🖥️ Jason had been watching Luna's streams and participating in the chat for a while before deciding to join her Discord. There, he was just another member joining random conversations. One day, a single thread turned into an epic-long dialogue. The rest of the server wasn’t invested, but they’d rolled a natural 20 on connection. It was time to move to a private conversation 🤫 ☝️ They are the perfect example of how to transition from regular chat to DM. It's not about finding an excuse good enough to slide into someone's DMs. After all, they can block you, report you, or ghost you. It's about knowing that they want to hear from you as much as you want to hear from them 🙂‍↕️ Once there, the usual conversation rules apply. Talk about your shared passions, and get to know the person behind the screen. Eventually, the curiosity might kick in, and you can go on a date, hang out, or even invite them to your next TTRPG session! 🎲 🎧 Press play if you're hoping to meet someone online! 🛜 🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where 📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord Donate to Extra Life: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/GamerMom-Luna Luna's Links: https://linktr.ee/GamerMomLunahttps://www.twitch.tv/gamermomlunahttps://www.youtube.com/@GamerMomLunahttps://www.threads.net/@gamermomlunahttps://www.instagram.com/gamermomluna/https://www.tiktok.com/@thegamermomluna Related Episodes: Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee Lopez https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/find-love-through-online-games/The TTRPG Group https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/the-ttrpg-group/Rejected, Friendzoned, and Not Reading the Signals https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/rejected-friendzoned-nerd-love-story/Find Your Nerd Community https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/nerd-community/ Timestamps for lazy nerds: 00:00:00 Intro00:00:43 What Makes Them Nerds00:02:01 Twitch Streamer's Discord00:06:16 Transitioning to DMs00:10:11 More Than Friends00:13:41 First Date00:19:23 Making it Official00:21:54 Avoiding The Friend Zone00:26:48 From Discord to DMs00:28:20 Extra LifeContact: dm@datelikeanerd.com or @datelikeanerd on social media

31 分钟

Date Like A Nerd

The Hidden Cost of Finding Love With Red Pill Dating: John's Nerd Love Story

How to Make Nerd Friends, with Pete "Belmont"

From No Dates to Feeling Truly Seen and Accepted: Kirk's Story

Dating In The Tolkien Association, with Jose

IRL Lessons from Video Games, with Dr. Daniel Kaufmann

The High School Reunion: the Nerd Love Story of Pete and Ariana

Hobbit Hike: Where to Meet Nerds, with Sompi Harmetz

Dating The Twitch Streamer on Discord: the Nerd Love Story of Luna and Jason

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Date Like A Nerd

单集

The Hidden Cost of Finding Love With Red Pill Dating: John's Nerd Love Story

How to Make Nerd Friends, with Pete "Belmont"

From No Dates to Feeling Truly Seen and Accepted: Kirk's Story

Dating In The Tolkien Association, with Jose

IRL Lessons from Video Games, with Dr. Daniel Kaufmann

The High School Reunion: the Nerd Love Story of Pete and Ariana

Hobbit Hike: Where to Meet Nerds, with Sompi Harmetz

Dating The Twitch Streamer on Discord: the Nerd Love Story of Luna and Jason

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