100 episodes

From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts.
Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category.

Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman Damona Hoffman - Dates and Mates Media

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.7 • 271 Ratings

From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts.
Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category.

    Codependent Patterns & Are We Dating The Same Guy

    Codependent Patterns & Are We Dating The Same Guy

    Fan favorite guest Mark Groves is back! This time he’s joined by his wife Kylie McBeath, to discuss their amazing new book Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this interview they get to the root of codependency and offer ways to heal trauma and date intentionally. The dating dish story is: The Downside of Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook groups. In Dear Damona a listener asks: Why are there so many fake profiles and how can you avoid getting frustrated with them?

    Follow Mark @createthelove and Kylie @beingisbeautiful and pick up your copy of Liberated Love (https://read.macmillan.com/lp/liberated-love/) today!

    Speaking of books - F the Fairy Tale is currently on sale at Amazon. Leave a review on Amazon to have a chance at getting thanked personally on the show!
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    • 54 min
    Speed Dating Do’s and Don’ts & Heartbreak Coach

    Speed Dating Do’s and Don’ts & Heartbreak Coach

    Keishorne Scott, author and relationship & heartbreak coach, shares his strategies for healing after a breakup and setting boundaries. Plus, he’ll tell you which matches to avoid and which ones are safe to date. The Dating Dish this week is: Speed dating is making a comeback as Gen Z ditches dating apps. USA Today says, we shouldn't be surprised. The Dear Damona question is: What’s the etiquette for messaging a new match?

    Follow Keishorne on Instagram @KeishorneScott and learn more about his work and books at KeishorneScott.com!

    Share the love: Get your copy of F the Fairy Tale on Amazon today and take advantage of the discounted rate. Then leave a review and Damona may thank you live on-air!

    TIMESTAMPS
    (00:01:04) Spring cleaning and new beginnings - Damona discusses the positive aspects of spring and new relationship beginnings.
    (00:02:37) Speed dating resurgence - Damona discusses the resurgence of speed dating and its comparison to dating apps.
    (00:08:07) Preparing for speed dating - Damona host provides advice on preparing for speed dating events and engaging in meaningful conversations.
    (00:12:55) Managing expectations in dating - Damona emphasizes the importance of managing expectations and having a positive mindset in dating.
    00:16:15) Introduction to Keishorne Scott - Damona introduces Keishorne Scott, a relationship and heartbreak coach, and discusses his work.
    (00:16:57) Overcoming heartbreak - Keishorne shares his personal experience with heartbreak and the journey to self-love and healing.
    (00:18:01) Self Work and Understanding Love - Keishorne discusses the self-work needed before marriage and understanding love.
    (00:20:00) Masculine and Feminine Gender Roles - Keishorne and Damona debate traditional gender roles in relationships and personal expression.
    (00:21:18) Types of Men to Avoid - Keishorne explains the "mouse," "bird," "dog," and "lion" archetypes and why to avoid them.
    (00:23:29) Recognizing Relationship Red Flags - Keishorne and Damona discuss the importance of communication and addressing personal issues in relationships.
    (00:28:03) Knowing When to Move On - Keishorne shares insights on recognizing when a relationship has run its course and the importance of mental health.
    (00:31:20) Healing from Heartbreak - Keishorne discusses the individual nature of healing from heartbreak and the non-negotiable aspect of self-healing.
    (00:32:49) Dealing with heartbreak and self-love - Keishorne Scott advises taking time to focus on oneself after a breakup.
    00:33:40 Overcoming heartbreak and reconnecting with oneself - Damona Hoffman discusses the process of healing and reestablishing one's identity.
    00:35:03 The discomfort of healing - Keishorne and Damona explore the discomfort that comes with healing and the importance of seeking support.
    00:36:42 Maintaining boundaries - Keishorne and Damona discuss the importance of setting and maintaining personal boundaries in relationships.
    00:39:08 Parting words and gratitude - Keishorne expresses gratitude for the discussion and shares insight on the importance of boundaries for personal protection.
    00:40:22 Advice for a listener's dating situation - Damona addresses a listener's concerns about texting frequency and dating intentions.
    00:47:56 Upcoming episode preview and book promotion - Damona promotes an upcoming episode and a book deal for "F the Fairytale."
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    • 50 min
    Furniture Anniversary & Next Gen Dating

    Furniture Anniversary & Next Gen Dating

    In Damona’s anniversary episode, her daughter Addie shares what she’s learned about dating and relationships from her parents 17 years of marriage. Then, Addie takes over the Dear Damona segment with dating questions from the next generation of daters that are surprisingly relatable to people of all ages, like:


    Is it okay to tell a friend that you think the person they are dating isn't a good fit?

    What are the signs that someone is attracted to you?

    How do you break up with someone kindly?

    What’s more important, looks or compatibility?


    And the Dating Dish of the week is “Lessons Learned: They Married, Divorced and Then Married Their Ex-Spouses Again”. Read the complete article from The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/09/style/ex-spouse-divorced-remarried.html

    Share the love: Get your copy of F the Fairy Tale on Amazon today and leave a review and Damona could shout you out on an upcoming episode!

    TIMECODES
    00:00:00 Introduction
    00:01:09 F The Fairy Tale - Think of a Relationship Like a Table
    00:03:18 Episode Preview - The Future of Dating, Insights on Dating & Relationships from Damona's Daughter, Addie.
    00:04:26 Dating Dish - New York Times: Discussion on couples who married, divorced, and remarried each other.
    00:05:40 Story of Leslie and Val navigating religious differences in their relationship.
    00:08:11 Story of Jean and Ronnie marrying and divorcing multiple times, and their lessons learned about the importance of being a team in a relationship.
    00:10:33 Final take away from the article emphasizes the importance of not overdoing intense emotional conversations in relationships.
    00:11:33 Addie Introduction
    00:12:35 Addie discusses the current state of dating from a teenager's perspective.
    00:13:13 Addie's perspective on the challenges of finding and meeting potential partners outside of school.
    00:14:42 Addie's insights on different stages of dating and where people in her class are meeting potential partners.
    00:15:45 Addie shares her observations of Damona and Seth's relationship and the importance of humor in relationships.
    00:17:45 Addie's thoughts on wanting marriage and kids in the future, and the freedom to design her own dating destiny.
    00:20:34 Discussion on the appropriateness of commenting on a friend's relationship and the potential impact on the friendship.
    00:23:50 Signs of attraction, including body language, changes in behavior, and the importance of face-to-face interaction.
    00:28:50 The importance of honest communication and creating a safe space for sharing feelings during a breakup.
    00:33:17 The value of connection, shared experiences, and shared values in deepening chemistry, and the impact of instant attraction in modern dating.
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    • 38 min
    Dating With Intention & Taking A Break

    Dating With Intention & Taking A Break

    Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, the hosts of the Dateable podcast, discuss the true meaning of dating intentionally and how some daters may need to reframe their approach. Our Dating Dish this week is: From swiping to sexting, here is what's really driving Americans in dating today. The Dear Damona question is: What are the signs that it’s time to take a break from dating?

    Follow Yue and Julie on Instagram @DateablePodcast and be sure to check out Dateable wherever you listen to Dates & Mates!

    Share the love: Get your copy of F the Fairy Tale on Amazon today and leave a review and Damona could shout you out on an upcoming episode!
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    • 52 min
    The Big 500 & Savage Love

    The Big 500 & Savage Love

    Dan Savage, author and host of The Savage Lovecast, joins Damona in a very special 500th episode to talk about dating trends and predictions for 2024. Then he and Damona take on a spicy Dear Damona & Dan segment with questions like: 

    - My girlfriend wants to switch things up in the bedroom, but I’m feeling shy. Where do we start? 
    - And, I don’t want a relationship, but I don’t want a one-night stand. What are my options?

    Follow Dan on Instagram @DanSavage and check out The Savage Lovecast wherever you listen to Dates & Mates!

    Share the love: Get your copy of F the Fairy Tale on Amazon today and leave a review and Damona could shout you out on an upcoming episode!

    TIMESTAMPS
    The 500th episode (00:00:00) Damona Hoffman reflects on the history of the podcast and celebrates the 500th episode with special guest Dan Savage.
    Dating trends and predictions for 2024 (00:01:07) Dan Savage discusses 2024 dating trends and shares his newest dating term.
    The impact of societal developments on dating (00:02:25) Damona reads a portion of her book, "F the Fairy Tale," discussing the impact of societal developments on dating and relationships.
    The trend of ghosting and flaking (00:08:08) Damona and Dan discuss the increasing trend of ghosting and flaking in dating, and its potential reasons.
    The influence of politics on dating (00:14:45) Damona and Dan analyze the growing influence of politics on dating and relationships, particularly in the context of an election year.
    The growing political divide (00:16:07) Discussion on the increasing influence of politics on dating and relationships, particularly regarding women's rights and equality.
    Polyamory trends and definitions (00:20:32) Exploring the trends and definitions of polyamorous relationships, including statistics and Dan Savage's personal experience.
    Defining monogamy (00:29:39) Dan Savage's perspective on the definition of monogamy and how it can encompass a range of relationship dynamics, including acknowledging attraction to others.
    Challenging traditional monogamous norms (00:32:17) Discussion on the flexibility of monogamous relationships and the importance of maintaining intimacy, security, and openness within a partnership.
    Pegging and Tolley Amory (00:33:53) Dan Savage introduces the term "tolley amory" and discusses the concept of putting up with a partner's infidelity.
    Advice on Dominance in Sex (00:37:47) Dan Savage provides tips on becoming more dominant in sexual relationships and discusses the psychological aspects of dominance.
    Initiating Group Sex with Friends (00:47:29) A listener seeks advice on how to hint at the possibility of group sex with a couple they are friends with.
    The friend zone and hanging out (00:50:08) Discussion about navigating the friend zone and hanging out with someone of interest.
    Starting fresh after a long-term marriage (00:53:15) Advice for someone who wants to start dating after a 15-year marriage and is unsure about casual dating.
    Exploring casual relationships and dating apps (00:54:41) Encouragement for exploring casual relationships, using dating apps, and finding the right platform for dating.
    Getting out of the house and meeting new people (01:00:11) Encouragement to engage in activities outside the house to meet new people and potentially find romantic connections.
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    • 1 hr 1 min
    Cosmo’s AI Advice & Love Languages Lesson

    Cosmo’s AI Advice & Love Languages Lesson

    Madeleine Reeves, Deputy Editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine, shares key data from their AI & Dating survey, plus tips to navigate the intersection of technology and love. This week’s Dating Dish is: Debunking the Love Languages: A New Look at Romance and Science. And, our Dear Damona question this week is: I’d like to be set up by a friend, but mine say they don’t have matches for me. What should I do?

    Read the article by visiting: https://neurosciencenews.com/love-relationships-psychology-25556/

    Find Madeleine on Instagram @madeleinefrankreeves, Cosmopolitan on Instagram @Cosmopolitan and check out Cosmo & Bumble’s AI & Dating Study for yourself by visiting: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a46574186/ai-dating/

    REVIEWS WANTED: Get your copy of F the Fairy Tale on Amazon today and leave a review and Damona could shout you out on an upcoming episode!
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    • 47 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
271 Ratings

271 Ratings

abitocd ,

Dating Reality Check

Read the book and can’t stop listening to the podcast! Love Damona’s perspective on dating. She tells it like it is and gives actionable tools you can use dating in the world today!

PRGirl47 ,

Relationship Expert

Great advice, fun podcast. Thanks Damona!

caki diehl ,

Thank you

For the hood work Damona - level headed and sound advice in what can be a crazy dating world!

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