DEEP DIVE: Are You the 'Good Parent' or the 'Bad Parent' In Your Home?

This month's Deep Dive series is all about family dynamics. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify.

Are you the “bad parent” in your home? The enforcer of bedtimes, the keeper of deadlines, the stern shusher in the church pew? Or are you the “good parent,” the authority figure more likely to agree that time is a construct and that ice cream not only can, but should, be what’s for dinner?

This week we’re breaking down 

• how this dynamic plays out in each of our homes
• whether the primary caregiver has to always be stuck with the Killer of Joy role
• how this can play out when parents are divorced
• how drill sergeants can ease up on the oversight
• how the “good time Charlies” can become more aware 

As in most things, change is possible when we watch our stories. These aren’t roles that have to harden in amber and then never change. The Carrier of the Diaper Bag and The Worrier of All Potential Outcomes deserves to kick back once in a while too. 

Here are links to some of resources we discuss in the episode: 

• Isaac Watts’ poem “Love Between Brothers and Sisters”
• Julia Austin for Madame Noire: How The Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting Dynamic Ruins Marriages
• James Lehman for Empowering Parents: Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting
• This clip from the movie The Great Santini
• Our episode Parenting as a Team

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What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

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