Ask Andy: A Quick and Easy Way to Ruin The Moment
I'm going to share something I learned first hand about what you should not do when you buy and give something as special as an engagement ring, an anniversary gift...hell...any gift for that matter. I get right to the point when I tell you, "Don't tell her how much it cost. Not even a hint." Telling her what you paid for something can quickly turn a special moment into an awkward one. She's not going to feel cherished, loved, or appreciated if you disclose the price tag. It'll be more along the lines of uncomfortable embarrassment. I want to be clear, this isn't one of those "men are stupid" rants that are ubiquitous on the interwebs these days. Nah...this comes from a real-life experience, and while you think I would know better...I'M the guy that did it! (I gave my wife a gift and on more than occasion I hinted at how it cost much more than she would've thought. What a boob I was. So stupid.) And have to tell you, this advice applies to all gifts. The price tag is none of her business. I understand where this desire to reveal the cost comes from – sometimes, we're just genuinely proud of what we're giving her and we want a significant reaction. That's okay, but remember that it will come over time, in stories, maybe some bragging, or perhaps a sweet moment when she says, "You shouldn't have." When you give her those earrings, that engagement ring, or whatever it may be, keep the price to yourself. There's never a time when it's chivalrous to tell how much you've spent on her, so don't do it. On a related note, when you give her the gift or she sees her engagement ring for the first time, give her a little time to absorb it all. Her reaction may not come immediately, and that's perfectly fine. Sometimes she needs a few moments to process all the glitter and glory that's been bestowed on her, so relax, and let the moment unfold naturally. Now, for the ladies listening, here's something our sales associate, Lindsay, asked me to mention: when your significant other gives you fine jewelry that might not be your style, accept it gracefully, even if it's not your style. In almost every case it's better to accept the gift, and remember why he gave it (because he loves you) and keep it. That's how I was brought up – a gift is a gift, and it's the thought that counts. Of course I understand that fine jewelry often involves a significant investment, and if it's not your style, you probably won't wear it much. Nobody wants that, so if it's just too hideous for you to wear, an exchange is probably in order. If you do decide to exchange the gift, please be gentle when you tell him. You don't have to say it "right out of the box," as they say; give him a moment to feel proud of what he did for you. Then, when the time feels right, you can thank him for the gift, and explain that you'd like to exchange it for something more your style. This way, he won't feel like a failure in your eyes. You can guide him, teach him about your style, and even fill out a Wish List while you're exchanging your gift for the next big occasion. 😉 If you'd like help finding a jeweler closer to home, email me at andy@buylikeaguy.com and I'll do my best to put you in touch with some of the best jewelers on earth. Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome. Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987 This episode was originally published in October 2023.
