Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Danielle Ireland
  • 4.9 (31)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, a Society & Culture podcast where we talk about burnout, big feelings, identity, and the messy middle of modern life—through therapy-informed conversations, personal stories, and a softer way of figuring things out together. Together we're making a cozier corner of the internet.

  1. Pauses Don't Mean You're Failing (They Mean You're Listening) | Repost Remix with Ashlyn Thompson

    9H AGO

    Pauses Don't Mean You're Failing (They Mean You're Listening) | Repost Remix with Ashlyn Thompson

    Life keeps lifeing—and sometimes you need a reminder that pauses don't mean you're failing, and hard seasons don't get to decide your worth. This week I'm sharing one of my favorite conversations with Ashlyn Thompson, co-founder of Parent Empowerment Network. Ashlyn is one of those rare humans who can hold heavy things without making them heavier—and somehow still make you laugh, breathe deeper, and feel less alone. We talk about: Why asking "why me?" keeps you stuck (and what to ask instead) The expansion and contraction of life—and why rest isn't something you have to earn Why the opposite of anxiety isn't calm... it's creativity How to stop shrinking your world when life feels overwhelming The difference between being victimized and victim mentality Why your emotions deserve space before your logic gets a turn If you're in a season where you're just trying to keep your head above water, this one's for you. And if you needed permission to breathe, consider it granted. Resources mentioned: The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal for Women - Guided Journal Mental Health Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings Parent Empowerment Network: https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/ Ashlyn's Original Interview: Pain Is a Professor Coming soon: Ashlyn and I are doing a pod swap! If you have a question you want us to answer together—about navigating hard seasons, building hope, parenting through the messy middle, burnout, or big feelings—email me at danielle@danielleireland.com. - subject line BANGS KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE "Pain is not personal. Your story is personal, but pain is not personal." "Doubt doesn't mean you're done. Taking a pause doesn't mean you're stopping forever. You can't just exhale forever—you eventually have to breathe in." "The opposite of anxiety is not calm. It's creativity." "If you ask yourself 'why does this feel painful?'—consider pain as a potential teacher, as a professor, rather than pain as an enemy or destroyer." "Your emotions never lie to you. Logic is not loud—our emotions are loud, and they get louder the more we push them back." "Every emotion your child experiences is not a direct reflection of who you are as a parent." REFLECTION QUESTIONS Take these with you this week: What's one "why" question you keep circling that isn't giving you anything back? What would happen if you swapped it for a "how" or "what" question instead? Where are you asking yourself to "expand" right now when you actually need to "inhale"? What's one tiny creative action you could take this week that would help your body feel like it has somewhere to put the feeling? CONNECT WITH DANIELLE Listen on Spotify: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Listen on Apple Podcasts: Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Website: Indianapolis Mental Health Educator, Speaker & Therapist for Women Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal - Guided Journal Mental Health Substack: Danielle's Substack | Danielle Ireland | Substack Instagram: Danielle Ireland | Therapist (@dontcutyourownbangs) • Instagram profile TikTok: DontCutYourOwnBangs on TikTok ABOUT THE SHOW Don't Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something's missing. If you're the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks "right" on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you're in the right place. Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles. This is a space for comfort, community, clarity — and a few laughs along the way.

    45 min
  2. Cat Greenleaf on Sobriety, Shame, and Going Where The Water is Warm

    FEB 16

    Cat Greenleaf on Sobriety, Shame, and Going Where The Water is Warm

    What happens when sobriety stops being your whole identity—but honesty still matters? In this episode, I sit down with journalist, creator, and host Cat Greenleaf for a wide-ranging conversation about sobriety without performative seriousness, the exhaustion of high-functioning addiction, and the courage it takes to walk away from something—even when you're good at it. Cat is the creator and former host of Talk Stoop, a groundbreaking celebrity interview show that paved the way for digital content before platforms like TikTok even existed. Now she hosts the Soberness podcast, where she brings her signature warmth and realness to conversations about recovery with celebrities and public figures navigating sobriety in the spotlight. We talk about shame, ambition, therapy skepticism, creative identity, aging, and why "go where the water's warm"—a piece of advice from Brooke Shields that Cat received 16 years ago—might be the most trustworthy life guidance there is. If you've ever looked successful on the outside while quietly unraveling on the inside, or if you've felt that nudge that something in your life is done, this episode is for you. In This Episode: What high-functioning addiction actually looks like and how Cat knew it wouldn't go well from the start Why she spent 10 years sober without attending AA meetings The moment at a wedding that changed everything "I hate therapy" (and why that's perfectly okay) Why Cat is shifting her Soberness podcast from recorded interviews to live storytelling events The "be kind" tattoo story—and why she's having it removed How to know when it's time to walk away from something that's no longer working People's commitment to their own joy (and what that means for the rest of us) Guest: Cat Greenleaf is a journalist, creator, and host of the Soberness podcast. She's the creator of Talk Stoop, where she interviewed celebrities on her Brooklyn stoop before digital content became what we know it as today. She's currently pursuing her master's in forensic mental health counseling and has been working with incarcerated individuals for the past two years. Cat has been sober for 12 years. Connect with Cat: The Soberness Podcast: Soberness Podcast | Celebrity Interviews with Cat Greenleaf on Recovery and Sobriety Instagram: Soberness (@sobernesspodcast) • Instagram profile YouTube: Soberness Podcast with Cat Greenleaf Resources Mentioned: Talk Stoop (Cat's groundbreaking celebrity interview show) Brooke Shields' advice: "Go where the water's warm" The Algonquin Hotel (Cat's base for live Soberness events in NYC) Subscribe to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs: New episodes drop regularly with interviews, solo casts, and all the hope you need to keep going. Connect with Danielle: Website: Indianapolis Mental Health Educator, Speaker & Therapist for Women Instagram: Danielle Ireland | Therapist (@dontcutyourownbangs) • Instagram profile The Treasured Journal: Treasured: Self Discovery Journal for Women - Guided Journal Mental Health Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): Wrestling a Walrus | Emotional Regulation Book for Big Feelings Don't Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something's missing. If you're the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks "right" on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you're in the right place. Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles. This is a space for comfort, community, clarity — and a few laughs along the way. Because you deserve calm without having to earn it.

    51 min
  3. What You Repeat Is What You Reinforce (And Why That Matters Right Now)

    FEB 9

    What You Repeat Is What You Reinforce (And Why That Matters Right Now)

    If you've been feeling like you need someone to flip on a light switch in a dark room right about now, this episode is for you. And listen, I get it—February can be rough. All that January enthusiasm starts to fade, the Midwest winter is doing its thing (where did the sun go?), and suddenly that phone in your hand feels less like a tool and more like a stain you can't get out of your clothes (or out of your hand). So today, I'm offering what we all need: a little bit of hope. This is a cozy solo cast that's a deep dive into what I'm learning in real-time about habits and what they reinforce. The truth: I've been doom-scrolling between client sessions like it's my job, and my nervous system has some thoughts about that. We're talking about: How to gently take inventory of what you're consuming (media, food, habits, all of it) The homework my therapist gave me that changed how I show up in every relationship What you're actually responsible for (hint: it's less than you think) Why knowing your philosophy matters—whether you're a therapist, a parent, or just a human trying to navigate this wild world Plus, I'm giving you a sneak peek at two incredible interviews coming up this month with Cat Greenleaf (host of the Soberness podcast) and the one and only Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. If you need someone who makes heavy topics feel like a warm hug, Ashlyn is your person. She's basically the Ted Lasso of emotional work. KEY TAKEAWAYS "The things you repeat are what you reinforce." —James Clear, Atomic Habits This quote is the backbone of the episode. What are you repeating? Is it serving you? If not, what's one small shift you can make? You can't function for the responsibilities of your life if your nervous system is constantly firing. If you're feeling less Cinderella-with-birds-making-your-bed and more like you need to hide under the covers, it might be time to look at what you're consuming. Boundaries aren't just for other people—they're for what you let into your own mind and body. This is the work. What's yours to own? What's not? Getting clear on that changes everything. QUOTES THAT HIT "When you turn on a light in a dark space, the darkness isn't gone. But the darkness can't deny the light." "I wasn't clear on what I was actually responsible for. If I was responsible for their breakthroughs, then was I also responsible for what they didn't understand?" "Happiness can also look like having a lollipop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—and then that creates a whole other issue." COMING UP THIS MONTH Cat Greenleaf from the Soberness podcast—talking celebrity sobriety, digital content, and constantly evolving Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network—bringing the heart-centered wisdom with humor and warmth YOUR HOMEWORK (IF YOU WANT IT) Grab a journal, go for a walk, or just sit with these questions: What am I repeating? What is that reinforcing for me? Do I like what I'm reinforcing? If not, what's one subtle adjustment I can make? And if you need a place to process all of this? The Treasured Journal was made for exactly these moments. It's got prompts, sentence stems, and space for you to dig a little deeper with a little more safety and context. Link's in the show notes. THINGS THAT WILL MAKE MY WHOLE WEEK Rate and review the podcast wherever you're listening—it helps more people find this cozy corner of the internet Subscribe so you never miss an episode (we've got some good ones coming up!) Share this episode with someone who needs a little bit of hope right now Your time and attention mean everything to me. Thank you for being here. Now go have an incredible day. You've got this. —Danielle   RESOURCES MENTIONED Atomic Habits by James Clear Wrestling a Walrus for Little People with Big Feelings (my children's book!) The Treasured Journal (for all your processing needs) CONNECT WITH DANIELLE (links) Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1

    15 min
  4. Self-Compassion, Fertility, and Trusting Your Body Again

    FEB 2

    Self-Compassion, Fertility, and Trusting Your Body Again

    If you're a capable, driven woman who's doing everything "right" — and still feeling exhausted, stuck, or quietly blaming your body — this episode is for you. In this deeply meaningful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Erica Bove, double board certified physician, fertility specialist, and founder of Love & Science Fertility, to talk about what happens when high-achieving women bring the same hustle-and-push mindset into their bodies… and why fertility, healing, and clarity ask for something different. We explore how self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and trust aren't "soft skills" — they're foundational tools for healing, decision-making, and moving forward with more ease and confidence. This episode blends science, lived experience, and real talk — with humor, honesty, and a few moments that might make you pause and say, oh… that's me. In this episode, we cover: Why trying harder often backfires in fertility and healing How hypervigilance and chronic stress impact the body What it actually means to trust your body again The difference between the inner critic and the inner coach Why creativity can calm anxiety faster than "trying to relax" Dr. Erica's powerful Don't Cut Your Own Bangs moment Key takeaways: Healing responds to safety, not pressure Your thoughts and feelings are data, not flaws Self-compassion improves clarity and follow-through You're not broken — your body is communicating with you Quotes from the episode: "Trying harder doesn't work in fertility — safety does." "Your thoughts and feelings are data." "The inner coach is so much better than the inner critic." Resources mentioned: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff Stand With Minnesota: https://www.standwithminnesota.com Links & Resources Connect with Dr. Erica Bove https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/ https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/thepodcast https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/starting-to-thrive-course https://www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility Connect with Danielle Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

    1h 2m
  5. Sustainable Self-Care: A Better Way to Actually Feel Better

    JAN 26

    Sustainable Self-Care: A Better Way to Actually Feel Better

    Hello friends—welcome back to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, the cozy corner of the internet where we let our tender, imperfect selves exist.  This week we're talking about sustainable self-care—not the kind that turns into a color-coded assignment, but the kind that actually supports you in real life. I'm sharing two simple processes you can use anytime (even if you're burnt out, busy, or running on the last 3% of your battery). Plus: a few examples to help you rethink what "self-care" can look like when it's truly working. In this episode, we explore: What makes self-care sustainable (and why "a list of habits" often backfires) A quick "ideal day" exercise that helps you tune into what you actually need A simple somatic body-scan practice (hello, nervous system support) How to tell if a self-care practice is helping: before / during / after Real-life examples—from travel planning to solitude to tap dancing Key takeaways Self-care is only self-care if it's working—and "working" can change by season. Sustainable self-care is a process, not a perfection plan. Your body gives honest feedback—sometimes before your brain catches up. A couple of great lines from the episode "There's a difference between what I knew… and what I was actually embodying." "We deserve calm without having to earn it." Quick encouragement If self-care has felt like one more thing to do "correctly," let this be your reminder: you don't need a perfect routine. You need a kinder relationship with your needs.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe—it helps this cozy little corner grow and find the people who need it.   Episode Links: Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1 Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal

    33 min
  6. Planting Good Seeds (A Gentle Start to 2026)

    JAN 12

    Planting Good Seeds (A Gentle Start to 2026)

    Hello hello — I'm Danielle Ireland, and you're catching an episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, the cozy corner of the internet where we answer the timeless question: Do I really want bangs… or do I just need to talk about my feelings? (Spoiler: it's often the feelings. And also sometimes bangs. We can be multidimensional.) In today's episode, we're talking about planting good seeds — not the aggressive "new year, new you, fix your entire personality by Tuesday" energy, but the soft, intentional, nervous-system-friendly kind of reset. Because if January were in charge of its own PR? It would be branded as recovery + reflection + gentle reorientation, not a monthly audition for your worthiness. We use a seed metaphor (because nature gets it), talk about rest as a generative space, and explore why the opposite of anxiety isn't necessarily calm… it might actually be creativity. I also share a very humbling moment at acupuncture where my body had a lot to say and I hadn't been listening.  In this episode, we talk about: Why the beginning of the year is a great time to set intentions, not punish yourself with "perfect" Rest as resistance (and why your body is not a machine) The surprising idea: the opposite of anxiety is creativity Micro-rest: how to make space for yourself even in a busy life The 4 questions that can reveal where you've lost your spark: When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop feeling enchanted by stories? When did you stop sitting in stillness? How breadcrumbs (like a screenshot of a dance class) can lead you back to yourself A gentle reminder: you are the expert in you — advice is useful, but you're not required to outsource your inner knowing A couple quotes from the episode: "Plant the seed… and then leave it alone. Give it the space and grace it needs to thrive." "Rest is a generative space. There is information for your healing in the dream space." "The opposite of anxiety is not calm — it's creativity." "Knowing something and doing something are not the same." (…my acupuncture appointment would like to cosign this.) Gentle invitation for the week: Pick one small "good seed" to plant — a tiny act of rest, wonder, play, or creativity — and let it be enough. Links + Resources Mentioned: The Nap Ministry: https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/ Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1 Want to talk to me directly? Email me at danielle@danielleireland.com and put "bangs" in the subject line — questions, stories, topics you want on the pod… I'm in. And yes, I really will respond. Free Gift: Grab my free meditation here: https://danielleireland.com/free Quick favor (it helps more than you know): If this episode felt like a deep exhale, please rate, review, and subscribe — and send it to the friend who's been treating January like a final exam. 💛

    37 min
  7. Reimagining January: Reflection Over Reinvention

    JAN 5

    Reimagining January: Reflection Over Reinvention

    Reimagining January: Reflection, Creativity, and the Messy Middle Happy New Year — and welcome to the very first episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs in 2026. If you're feeling a little tender, tired, hopeful, unsure, or all of the above… you're in exactly the right place. This episode is not about reinvention. It's about reflection and reimagining. In this solo conversation, I'm sharing why I believe the beginning of a new year isn't meant for pressure, perfection, or becoming a brand-new person overnight. Instead, it's a powerful opportunity to pause, look back with honesty, and gently reimagine what you want more of — and less of — as the year unfolds. I reflect on the journey of this podcast, the role creativity has played in my life (from ballroom dance to therapy to children's books), and why making things for joy — not productivity — has been one of the most grounding decisions I've ever made. We also talk about: vulnerability and creativity anxiety and burnout why "do I need bangs or do I need to talk about my feelings?" is actually a very real question and how slowing down can literally change your experience of time (hello, Andromeda Paradox ✨) This episode is an invitation — to breathe, to soften, to stop attacking your goals, and instead commit to what matters. No resolutions required. Key Takeaways Why January is better for reflection than reinvention How creativity can calm anxiety and clarify decision-making The real meaning behind "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" Why we're not as alone as we think (and why that matters) How slowing down can change your experience of time and overwhelm Quotes to Remember "You don't need to start from scratch. You're allowed to carry yourself forward." "If it isn't joy, it isn't right." "We are not unique in the things we fear — and thank God for that." A Note Before You Go If this episode made you feel a little more grounded, a little less alone, or helped you exhale — please rate, review, and subscribe. It's how this podcast continues to grow and reach people who need it. And if a friend popped into your mind while listening, share it with them. The best things in life are shared.  You can email me questions for the podcast at danielle@danielleireland.com - subject line (Bangs).

    23 min
  8. Finding Joy in Uncertainty (Best Lessons of the Year Finale)

    12/29/2025

    Finding Joy in Uncertainty (Best Lessons of the Year Finale)

    Today's episode is the final part of our Best Lessons of the Year series, and it's dedicated to the part of you that's exhausted trying to figure it all out… because some seasons don't come with clean answers (rude). In this episode, we talk about surrendering the outcome—not in a giving up kind of way, but in a coming back to life as it is kind of way. You'll hear a powerful perspective from Dr. Tasha Faruqui on living in the gray when even science doesn't have the answers. And then I'll walk you through practical "anchors for your energy"—small, doable supports you can return to when you're depleted, overwhelmed, or stuck living for "after." If you've been telling yourself, "Once things calm down, then I'll breathe," this is your gentle reminder: you don't have to wait for life to be fully resolved to feel a moment of peace. In this episode, we talk about: Why "after" can drive survival-mode What it means to surrender control without surrendering hope How uncertainty can drain your energy (and how to reclaim it) Choosing joy intentionally (without forcing toxic positivity) Anchors for your energy: small practices that stabilize you during turbulence Quotes to remember: "Some seasons don't come with clean answers." "Surrendering the outcome doesn't mean surrendering your hope." "Joy often doesn't arrive… it's something we pursue." "Burnout isn't a symptom of failure. It's a symptom of fatigue." Key takeaways: Surrender = reclaiming energy you were spending trying to control what you can't. Joy can be a practice, not a mood you wait for. Anchors create stability in turbulence—pick one kind thing and return to it. A "one-degree shift" today can change how you land later. Your gentle invitation for the week: Pick one anchor: a walk outside, a one-minute pause, water before coffee, a phone boundary, or one brave little no. Try it. Keep it kind. Let it count. Full episodes from today's clips: https://youtu.be/EvzEljacc08 https://youtu.be/L-TvYBPKAso Mentioned: Sarah's Substack (recipes + joy + your new secret ingredient): https://substack.com/@activepalate?r=1sx5ib&utm_medium=ios Free meditation gift from Danielle: https://danielleireland.com/free RATE • REVIEW • SUBSCRIBE Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe, you help more people find this community—and it also helps me keep making the show better (for real). Thank you for being here. Connect with Danielle: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

    37 min
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About

Welcome to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs, a Society & Culture podcast where we talk about burnout, big feelings, identity, and the messy middle of modern life—through therapy-informed conversations, personal stories, and a softer way of figuring things out together. Together we're making a cozier corner of the internet.

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Ireland
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    99
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Don't Cut Your Own Bangs