Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More That Builds Emotional Regulation

Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

Parenting comes with joys and challenges. If you are a mom or dad with a child or teen who is struggling with everyday life or clinical issues like ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning, Anxiety, OCD, Depression or Mood, or Lyme and PANS/PANDAS, then you need solutions. If you have seen Dr. Roseann on TV, then you know she doesn’t shy away from real talk about real problems. She gives parents the science-backed keys to unlocking big and small kid and family issues. Blending hope with science, Dr. Roseann teaches parents how to calm the brain to have a happy family. https://drroseann.com

  1. 338: 5 Therapist-Recommended Sensory Tools That Actually Help Kids Regulate

    1天前

    338: 5 Therapist-Recommended Sensory Tools That Actually Help Kids Regulate

    Parenting a child with sensory challenges can feel like a guessing game. One day a fidget toy works, the next day it’s tossed across the room. That’s because it’s not about the object—it’s about the strategy behind it. Sensory tools aren’t quick fixes, but when chosen with intention, they can transform how your child responds to stress, transitions, and everyday demands. In this episode, I’ll share 5 therapist-recommended sensory tools that actually help kids regulate—not just distract them. You’ll learn how to match tools to your child’s sensory needs, whether they’re bouncing off the walls or shutting down from overload. With the right sensory input, kids can build body awareness, reduce anxiety, and settle into calmer routines at home, in the classroom, and even at bedtime. Why does my child melt down even when I give them fidget toys? You’ve filled the bins with fidget toys and sensory tools, but the meltdowns keep coming. You’re not alone. The truth is, fidgets can distract, but they don’t always provide the sensory input a child’s nervous system really needs. Here’s what to remember: Fidgets don’t work for every child—some kids need deep pressure to calm, others need movement or vestibular input to focus.Look for signs of sensory seekers and avoiders: crashing into couch cushions, covering ears at loud noises, refusing certain textures, or zoning out in busy places.Behavior is communication. A meltdown is your child’s nervous system saying, “I can’t handle this input.”The right sensory tool matters. Matching tools to your child’s unique sensory processing needs is what leads to real regulation. 🗣️ “It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. When we learn how our child responds to sensory experiences, the right tools finally make sense.” – Dr. Roseann Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button? Become an Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in. Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today. What sensory tools actually calm my child’s nervous system? Not all sensory toys are created equal. The right tools give the sensory input your child’s nervous system needs—whether that’s calming an over-aroused brain or waking up an under-aroused one. Here are 5 therapist-recommended sensory tools that actually help kids regulate: Weighted items (blankets, vests, stuffed animals): Provide deep pressure that has a calming effect. Best used in short bursts of about 20 minutes to support better sleep and reduce anxiety.Movement tools (swings, trampolines, yoga ball, peanut ball): Give vestibular input and help kids reset their focus. Just a few minutes of movement before homework or classroom transitions can make a big difference.Oral input tools (chewy straws, crunchy snacks): Calm the nervous system through jaw stimulation. Great for picky eaters, children with ADHD, and kids who need extra input to stay focused.Fidgets with tactile features (putty, clickers, stress balls): Provide tactile stimulation that supports self-regulation during seated tasks or transitions.Visual and auditory tools (lava lamps, calming music, noise-canceling headphones): Reduce overstimulation and create a calming effect at home, in classrooms, or during therapy...

    11 分钟
  2. Special Episode: The MAHA Report Reveals Shocking Truths About Kids’ Mental Health

    5天前

    Special Episode: The MAHA Report Reveals Shocking Truths About Kids’ Mental Health

    Parenting today feels overwhelming—and it’s not your imagination. The latest Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) Report reveals shocking truths about kids’ mental health and shows us just how deep this childhood chronic disease crisis runs. Our children are carrying the weight of poor diet, chronic stress, environmental exposures, and endless screen time—and it’s affecting not just their moods but their overall health. As parents, it’s easy to wonder, “Is this just my child?” or “Am I doing something wrong?” Let me reassure you—it’s not bad parenting, it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I’ll walk you through what the report means for American children’s health and, most importantly, share practical steps you can take to calm the brain first, build resilience, and protect your child in today’s overstimulating world. Why are so many American children struggling with mental health? Parents are searching for answers because the numbers in the Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) Report are staggering: Teen depression has doubled in recent years.Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teens, rising 62% since 2007.Loneliness is at epidemic levels—73% of young adults report feeling isolated.Neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD and autism continue to rise at alarming rates. These aren’t just statistics from a government assessment. They represent the nation’s health and, more importantly, our kids. The MAHA Commission—led by Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—noted that the potential drivers of this crisis include ultra processed foods, poor physical activity, environmental chemicals, and chronic stress. This isn’t just a public health concern—it’s a matter of national security when so many American children of the same age are struggling with preventable mental and physical health conditions. The Human Services Department and National Institutes call this the biggest children’s health crisis in modern U.S. history. Key Takeaways: It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. Behavior is communication, and we need to calm the brain first.Environmental chemicals, ultraprocessed foods, and chronic stress are fueling this crisis in American children’s health.Over-reliance on medicine and medication isn’t fixing outcomes. The root causes—nutrition, stress, sleep, environmental exposures, and screen time—must be addressed. What hidden drivers of kids’ health problems should parents know about? The MAHA Report shines a light on what’s fueling the rise in dysregulation, ADHD, anxiety, and depression in kids today: Poor diet: 70% of children’s calories now come from ultra-processed foods, leaving their brains starved of the nutrients they need to focus, learn, and regulate emotions.Environmental exposures: Everyday chemicals—like pesticides and microplastics—interfere with hormones and raise risks for autism, ADHD, and other mental health struggles.Chronic stress & sleep loss: Exhausted kids can’t bounce back; lack of rest is draining their resilience.Technology overuse: Children average nine hours of non-school screen time daily, and social media alone doubles the risk for anxiety and depression.Over-medicalization: Prescriptions for ADHD, anxiety, and depression keep rising, yet long-term outcomes aren’t improving. 🗣️ “You don’t need to fix everything at once. Start small—like creating tech-free evenings or swapping one processed snack for a whole food option.” – Dr. Roseann If you’re tired of...

    17 分钟
  3. 337: Why Picky Eating Might Not Be Behavioral—It’s Biological

    6天前

    337: Why Picky Eating Might Not Be Behavioral—It’s Biological

    If every mealtime in your house feels like a showdown—tears, gagging, or flat-out refusal to try a bite—you’re probably exhausted and worried. You’ve bent over backwards with rewards, consequences, and endless negotiations, yet nothing seems to work. I want you to know—you’re not alone. In this episode, I’ll share why your picky eater’s behavior is more than just “being fussy,” the biological factors that may be driving your child’s picky eating habits—from sensory sensitivities to gut health—and how you can bring more calm (and more healthy foods) back to the dinner table. Why does my child’s picky eating feel like a constant battle? If every mealtime feels like tug-of-war, you’re not imagining it. What looks like “bad behavior” is often your child’s biology at work. Many kids aren’t refusing food out of stubbornness—they’re reacting to sensory sensitivities or a stressed nervous system. When we understand that picky eating is often about dysregulation instead of defiance, everything starts to shift. Here are a few truths I want you to hold onto: Behavior is communication. Food refusal can be your child’s way of saying, “This feels overwhelming.”Sensory triggers are real. Textures, smells, and even temperatures can set off strong reactions.It’s not bad parenting. Picky eating is a sign of a dysregulated brain—not a reflection of your efforts.Power struggles backfire. The more meals feel like a battle, the harder it is for your child to feel safe around food. Your child isn’t spoiled or dramatic—they’re struggling. And when we calm the nervous system first, we can bring more peace (and variety) back to the table. When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today. What biological factors cause picky eating in kids? If your child’s picky eating feels bigger than just “not liking vegetables,” you’re right—biology often plays a huge role. Research, including twin studies from King’s College London, shows that both genetic factors and environmental factors shape how kids develop food preferences. That means picky eating isn’t about willpower or stubbornness—it’s about what’s happening inside your child’s body and brain. Common biological roots of picky eating include: Gut issues like dysbiosis or inflammation that can shift cravings and digestionNutritional deficiencies (zinc, magnesium, B6) that impact appetite and mood regulationNeurodevelopmental disorders such as ADHD, autism, anxiety, or OCD that make eating more restrictiveEarly feeding experiences (reflux, choking, low muscle tone) that create stress around foodGenetics—studies show identical twins share more picky eating behaviors than fraternal twinsConnections to other eating disorders such as ARFID, which can overlap with restrictive eating patterns and disordered eating behaviorsIn some cases, body image concerns may show up in older kids or teens, further complicating eating habits 🗣️ “Picky eating in kids isn’t about being spoiled or difficult—it’s biology shaping eating habits. Once you understand the root cause, you can take steps that actually help.” – Dr. Roseann How can I help my picky eater try new foods without a...

    16 分钟
  4. 336: 5 Signs Your Child is Emotionally Dysregulated (Not Defiant!)

    9月8日

    336: 5 Signs Your Child is Emotionally Dysregulated (Not Defiant!)

    Parenting a child who pushes back at every turn can feel downright draining. You’ve tried the time-outs, the sticker charts, the consequences—yet the meltdowns keep coming. It’s easy to start second-guessing yourself or wondering if you’re doing something wrong. You’re not alone. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I’ll show you why what looks like defiance is actually emotional dysregulation—a nervous system issue, not a character flaw. We’ll walk through the five signs your child is emotionally dysregulated, not defiant, and I’ll give you practical, brain-based steps you can use to calm the storm and move forward with hope. Why does my child overreact to small problems? One of the biggest giveaways of emotional dysregulation is when kids have big feelings over little things. Maybe it’s the broken crayon, the wrong-colored cup, or being asked to do five more minutes of homework. These disproportionate reactions are a sign that your child’s nervous system is in overdrive. It isn’t bad behavior—it’s your child’s body signaling stress overload. For younger children, this often looks like temper tantrums. For older children, it may show up as irritability, anger, or even shutting down. No matter their age, these big emotions tell you that their emotional regulation skills need support. The key question to ask yourself is: Is this their go-to response? If your child is regularly melting down over small problems, it’s not about being oppositional or defiant. It’s a clear sign they’re struggling with: Emotional regulationSelf control and coping skillsA dysregulated brain that needs help returning to calm When you reframe these moments as emotional dysregulation rather than “bad behavior,” it shifts how you respond. Instead of getting caught in power struggles, you can focus on calming the brain first—because that’s where real change begins. Why does my child stay upset long after a problem is solved? Some kids just can’t seem to let go. Even after the situation is over, they’re still stuck in those big emotions long after everyone else has moved on. This isn’t about holding a grudge—it’s their nervous system getting caught in a stress loop. No matter how much reassurance you give, they may replay the moment again and again. That’s what emotional dysregulation does: it traps kids in the feeling and blocks them from practicing self regulation on their own. So what helps? Co-regulation. Your child’s behavior is communication, and what they need most is your calm presence. That means: Keeping your tone soft and steadyModeling deep breaths and slowing your body downStaying close so they feel safe, even if they don’t accept comfort right away 🗣️ “Your child isn’t choosing to stay upset—they’re stuck in a stress loop. When you calm your own nervous system, you give their brain the roadmap back to regulation.” – Dr. Roseann When we, as parents, stay calm first, we give our kids the emotional skills and examples they need to eventually regulate their own emotions. Why does my child reject comfort when upset? It’s heartbreaking when you reach out to comfort your child and they push you away, scream, or even call you names. While it feels like rejection, what’s really happening is that their brain is flooded and their nervous system can’t take in more input. A dysregulated child often can’t receive comfort until their body begins to settle. These emotional responses aren’t about disrespect or bad behavior—they’re stress-driven survival mode. And remember, even adults sometimes need space before they can calmly re-engage. What...

    10 分钟
  5. 335: The Hidden Link Between Gut Issues and Emotional Dysregulation in Kids

    9月3日

    335: The Hidden Link Between Gut Issues and Emotional Dysregulation in Kids

    Have you ever wondered why your child melts down after the smallest stressor—no matter what strategies you try? It can leave you drained, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you’re doing something wrong. You’re not alone. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, we uncover the hidden link between gut issues and emotional dysregulation in kids. You’ll learn how the gut-brain connection affects mood, behavior, and focus—and discover practical steps to support both your child’s emotional well-being and their gut microbiome at home. Why does my child melt down after eating certain foods? Many parents tell me they notice their child’s behavior shifts right after meals—but what they don’t realize is that the gut microbiome plays a significant role in emotional regulation. Food sensitivities like gluten, dairy, and artificial dyes can spark systemic inflammation, which shows up as mood swings and behavior changes.Constipation and poor gut health allow toxins to recirculate, affecting both emotional well-being and even pain perception.A leaky gut—or increased intestinal permeability—lets harmful substances enter the bloodstream, disrupting the brain and nervous system. So if your child melts down after eating, it may not be “just behavior.” It’s communication from the gut-brain axis—and your child’s body is asking for help. If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works… Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home. How are gut issues connected to emotional dysregulation? Most parents assume the gut is only about digestion, but it actually has a direct line to the central nervous system and your child’s mental health. When the gut is off balance, your child’s ability to regulate emotions, focus, and cope with stress takes a hit too. Did you know that up to 90% of serotonin, the neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and attention, is made in the digestive tract? That means your child’s gut isn’t just helping them process food—it’s helping them manage emotions and stay calm. When there’s gut dysbiosis (an imbalance of beneficial gut bacteria), kids are more likely to struggle with heightened anxiety, depressive symptoms, and poor emotional regulation.Chronic stress and an unhealthy gut microbiome create a feedback loop that keeps kids stuck in cycles of emotional distress and behavioral challenges. 🗣️ “When the gut is inflamed, the developing brain can’t function at its best—leading to struggles with emotional well-being, focus, and even sleep disturbances.” — Dr. Roseann Could my child’s diagnosis be linked to poor gut health? Parents of kids with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, or mood disorders are often so focused on managing daily symptoms that they overlook something powerful—the gut. Yet research shows that the gut-brain axis plays a crucial role in all of these conditions. When the gut is out of balance, the brain struggles to do its job—and kids feel it in their mood, behavior, focus, and even sleep. Take ADHD, for example: Gut dysbiosis—an imbalance in gut bacteria—can interfere with dopamine and serotonin production.Since these neurotransmitters are key for attention and impulse...

    15 分钟
  6. 334: Why Discipline Makes My Child Worse—And What Works for ADHD, Anxious, or Sensitive Kids

    9月1日

    334: Why Discipline Makes My Child Worse—And What Works for ADHD, Anxious, or Sensitive Kids

    Parenting a child who melts down no matter how hard you try can feel draining and lonely. You’ve done the time-outs, taken away privileges, tried the sticker charts—and yet the child’s behavior keeps coming back. Instead of helping, those strategies sometimes make things worse, leaving you wondering if you’re doing something wrong. You’re not alone, and it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I’m breaking down why traditional discipline backfires on sensitive or neurodivergent kids, and what actually works instead. I’ll give you practical strategies to calm the nervous system first, show you why connection always beats punishment, and teach you how to build the problem solving skills your child truly needs. Why doesn’t time-out work for my neurodivergent child? If you’ve ever sent your child to time-out only to have the meltdown get worse, you’re not imagining it. For many neurodivergent kids, time outs don’t feel like teaching—they feel like rejection. And instead of calming down, their nervous system ramps up even more. Research shows that parents use time-outs inconsistently, and the reality is, they’re often applied when a child is already at peak emotional dysregulation. In that state, the brain can’t process or learn. Many neurodivergent kids experience shame, anxiety, or even sensory overload instead of gaining self-control. Here’s what’s really happening: Time-outs miss the teachable moment because kids are too dysregulated to reflect.Sensitive children feel wrong or rejected, which can trigger bigger power struggles.Connection is the game changer, because safety is what allows real emotional regulation. So if time-outs keep backfiring in your family, it isn’t about bad parenting. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. How can I stay calm when my child is melting down? I know how exhausting it feels when your child is screaming, crying, or refusing to listen. In those moments, your own nervous system wants to react—but here’s the truth: your calm is your child’s calm. This is why I call parents the emotional anchor. When you regulate yourself first, you model the very skill your child is struggling to build. You don’t need to get it right 100% of the time—aiming for 80% is more than enough. Perfection isn’t required for growth, and reminding yourself of that can reduce the pressure and pain you carry as a mom or dad. A few ways to anchor yourself: Pause before reacting. Even 30 seconds of breathing can calm your nervous system.Check your body language. Slow down, soften your tone, and relax your shoulders.Co-regulate first. Teaching happens later—after your child feels safe and understood. 🗣️ “When you calm yourself first, you give your child the right tools to eventually calm themselves too. That’s so much sense in action.” — Dr. Roseann You don’t have to figure this out alone. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit: How to Stay Calm When Your Child Pushes Your Buttons and Stop Oppositional Behaviors. Head to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and start your calm parenting journey today. What do I do when discipline feels like punishment, not teaching? Traditional discipline often focuses on stopping a child’s behavior instead of teaching new skills. But many neurodivergent kids don’t connect actions with natural consequences in the same way neurotypical kids might. That doesn’t mean they can’t learn—it just means we need to focus on the core...

    13 分钟
  7. 333: What Phones Are Really Doing to Your Child’s Brain

    8月27日

    333: What Phones Are Really Doing to Your Child’s Brain

    If your child turns into a different person after screen time, you’re not imagining it. You’re not alone if your once-sweet kid becomes reactive, moody, or shut down after using digital devices. Many parents are overwhelmed by meltdowns, mood swings, and total refusal to transition after screen use—and they’re left wondering what went wrong. Let me down what too much screen time really does to the developing brain and how it fuels dysregulation, anxiety, and poor emotional control. Most importantly, I’ll share simple, consistent strategies you can use to set limits before things spiral out of control. Why does screen time affect my child’s emotions so much? We often think of screens as harmless entertainment, but they trigger a storm inside the brain. Fast-paced videos and online games light up the dopamine system, conditioning kids to crave more and more stimulation. At the same time, the part of the brain that helps with self-regulation—the prefrontal cortex—gets underused. Add in blue light exposure that disrupts melatonin and sleep cycles, and you have a perfect storm for emotional dysregulation. Even young kids are being impacted. In fact, 40% of American 2.5-year-olds have their own device. This constant stimulation overwhelms the nervous system and wires the brain for volatility. And when there’s no recovery time, kids start to struggle with mood, transitions, and basic regulation. Discover how to shift your child from chaos to calm with our proven Quick Calm Toolkit. What are signs of screen time dysregulation? If your child seems irritable or totally zoned out after screen use, that’s not normal—it’s their brain signaling overload. Many parents describe their kids as “not themselves” after using digital devices. Common red flags include: Meltdowns or aggression that show up after screen time endsMoodiness or emotional shutdown even after brief device useAvoidance of non-screen tasks like homework or choresRefusal to engage socially or try new activitiesAnxiety, anger, or compulsive behaviors tied to screen habits In fact, one mom told me her 10-year-old “checks out” for hours after gaming. He won’t eat, talk, or play—and it’s happening more often. How can I set screen limits without daily power struggles? The key is to set boundaries before the device turns on—not in the middle of a meltdown. Have calm, clear conversations ahead of time about screen time rules. Involve your child when possible by asking, “How much time feels fair to you?” This helps them feel heard—even if their answer is unrealistic. Once a boundary is set, stick to it without emotion or debate. That consistency is what rewires the brain for self-control. Use language that connects to brain health: “You’re not in trouble. Your brain is just telling us it needs a break.” Or: “Your brain needs to recharge so it can feel strong and happy.” You can also plan buffer time after screens—like five minutes of movement, a snack, or calming connection. This supports the nervous system and makes transitions smoother. If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works… Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP ata href="https://www.drroseann.com/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

    13 分钟
  8. 332: How to Calm Your Child (and Yourself) in Just 10 Seconds

    8月25日

    332: How to Calm Your Child (and Yourself) in Just 10 Seconds

    If you’re a mom, dad, or caregiver constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the next meltdown—you’re not alone.I’ve been there, and I work with families every day who are exhausted by the cycle of big emotions, yelling, and guilt. In this episode, I’m sharing the exact parenting trick I’ve taught for over 30 years that helps you stay calm in the moment, so you can help your child regulate too.  No special tools. No medication. Just your breath, a short pause, and a shift in energy that creates real change for your child and your family. Why does my child’s behavior make me so upset? Your child isn’t trying to make your life harder. They’re reacting from a place of dysregulation—a nervous system stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. And when that happens, it often pulls us into the storm with them. That’s what I call co-dysregulation. It happens when your child is upset, and instead of calming the situation, your energy fuels it. But when we learn to step back and regulate ourselves first, we shift into co-regulation—and that’s where transformation begins. What is the calm parenting trick that works in 10 seconds? This is what I call the Love Pause. It’s the calm parenting reset I’ve taught for over 30 years, and it works because it helps you create safety in your body and in your home. Here’s what I do: Step back—both physically and mentally. Even one foot of space helps.Take a slow, deep breath in, and then blow it out even slower.Drop your shoulders and loosen your jaw—send the signal that the threat is over.Silently talk to yourself, with phrases like:“This is hard.”“I’m safe.”“My child is struggling—not attacking.”“I can be the calm in the storm.” This 10-second process resets your brain and body. It activates your vagus nerve, brings your thinking brain back online, and helps you parent from a place of intention—not reactivity. Yelling less and staying calm isn’t about being perfect—it’s about having the right tools. Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it. Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletter How can I teach my kids to self-regulate? The more we model regulation, the more our kids learn how to do it too. That’s how we teach kids what to do in the moment—by showing them with our actions. Let me give you an example—If your child is upset over homework and starts yelling, instead of yelling back, I want you to pause. Breathe. Then say: “Looks like your brain is overloaded. Let’s take a walk or do some jumping jacks and then come back to it.” Here’s what that response does: Shows your child that it’s okay to struggleDemonstrates that there’s a way back to calmCreates a supportive pattern they’ll begin to use on their own I’ve seen this play out in real life so many times—kids starting to regulate without prompting, just because they’ve seen it modeled consistently. What if I’m dealing with a moody teen? Teenagers are a whole different world. When my own teen slams their door or rolls their eyes, it’s easy to get triggered. But instead of yelling, I breathe, reset, and say: “I can see you’re upset. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.” With teens, it’s all about connection over correction. And the best moments for connection often happen...

    11 分钟
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Parenting comes with joys and challenges. If you are a mom or dad with a child or teen who is struggling with everyday life or clinical issues like ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning, Anxiety, OCD, Depression or Mood, or Lyme and PANS/PANDAS, then you need solutions. If you have seen Dr. Roseann on TV, then you know she doesn’t shy away from real talk about real problems. She gives parents the science-backed keys to unlocking big and small kid and family issues. Blending hope with science, Dr. Roseann teaches parents how to calm the brain to have a happy family. https://drroseann.com

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