Our intrepid correspondent attended a football match for the first time, and discovered within himself a surprising affinity for hooliganism. It was a women’s football match, the quarter final of the Champion’s League, Chelsea at home against Barcelona and losing 4-1 (8-2 agg). What did he learn? Firstly, you are not anonymous in the crowd at a football match. The people on the pitch can hear you, so you feel that the right shout at the right time, or the wrong word at the wrong time, could actually have an impact on the action. You can make eye contact with the players, they are sensitive to your vibe. You are part of the action, and the team is counting on you. In fact you find yourself part of something much bigger than just the action. Banners celebrating great deeds stare down on you like battle honours in a garrison church or at a feudal banquet. You stand together to sing the club anthem, all wearing matching clothes, thousands of you united in one voice. The team somehow becomes more than just a vector for entertainment. It is the heart of a community, and becomes a big part of your identity - an institution, a gang, rather like the chariot teams of ancient Rome. At the same time, you are treated like a criminal. These stadiums are built like prisons, clearly designed around managing masses of people who are not trusted by the state, thought of as basically animals. There are bossy signs everywhere telling you not to abuse staff or women, there’s a CCTV camera watching every seat. In fact you are repressed to such a degree that you feel like you want to rebel against that. You want to act up. Adding to that, the opposing fans can see you, you, as an individual. They recognise you. They sing their songs, then you sing your songs back at them, and it starts to become quite personal. When Chelsea started performing badly the opposition chants became more smug, more jeering, disrespectful, unbearable, and we outnumbered them, there were 20,000 of us and they were on our turf and we’d been psychologically primed by having been treated like criminals, in short, our correspondent now understands football violence. And violence more generally, actually. Is this how a medieval peasant felt going to war, or a working man getting called up at the beginning of the Great War? Stoked? Screw those guys - let’s go! Also for some context on the Soul Train reference - here’s the sort of situation you need to be prepared for.
