Elevator Talk With Michelle Michelle

A father once said to his daughter:

"Congratulations on your graduation. I bought you a car a while back, and I want you to have it now. Before I give it to you, take it to a car dealer in the city and see how much they will give you for it.”

The girl came back to her father and said: "They offered me $10,000 dollars, because it looks old.”

The Father said: "Ok, now take it to the pawn shop and see how much they will give you for it". The girl went to the pawn shop, returns to her father, and says: "The pawn shop offered $1,000 dollars because it's an old car, and it needs a lot of work done to it".

The father told her to join a car club, with car experts and show them the car. She found a car club and joined it. After leaving the club, she returned to her father a few hours later and said, “Some people in the club offered me $100,000 dollars, because it’s a rare car that's in good condition.”

The father smiled at her and said, "I wanted you to understand, you aren’t worth anything if you aren’t in the right place. If you aren’t appreciated, don’t be angry; that just means you are in the wrong place.” Don't stay in a place where no one sees your value. Know your worth and know where you are valued. A diamond doesn't shine on the bottom of a cave.” – Unknown

Here are some ways that you can get better at knowing your worth:

1. Begin with an intentional appraisal of your value. It has been suggested that you regularly make time to reflect on your achievements and recognize your contributions and efforts. Keep an ongoing journal and write down any major contributions that you can look back on when you need a reminder of how valuable you are.

2. Explore your strengths and opportunities for growth. Be curious about your impact on others and ask for feedback from those you respect. Most importantly, be courageous and align your work to your values, as this approach will support a more meaningful experience of your working life.

3. Consider the motivations behind your behavior. For example, ask yourself: Am I taking on this assignment because it aligns with my advancement goals, or because I’m looking for reassurance from my boss?

Am I saying yes to going out with friends because I genuinely want to, or because I don't want to disappoint them?

People need to take time to identify what they like and don’t like and make decisions based on their personal preferences and not on outside influences.

4. Practice speaking positively about yourself. Reflect on the meaning and value of your contributions, and actively build a narrative that reflects your worth.

*Always be your own biggest advocate.

5. Ask for what you think you deserve, even if you’re afraid.
If you think for even just a second that you’re worthy of a raise or a promotion, stick with that thought. Something inside you is saying that you’re worth it, and you’ll never know the answer unless you ask.

6. Surround yourself with positivity. Create a vision board and place it where you spend the most time. This will allow you to surround yourself with positive, motivational quotes, images, and goals for your future. Make sure you limit the time you spend with toxic friends, and anyone else who doesn’t lift you up.

7. Carve out time for self-care.
Consider what you need daily to feel your best physically and mentally. If you’re not taking care of your health, you can’t reach your full potential.

Contact Me:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/coachchelle


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Are there valid reasons why you can’t get things done? Absolutely! In fact, many times, external forces are working against you such as the weather, other people’s attitudes, a car that won’t start, or world events.

There are also, times when it turns out that we our own biggest issue. This is also known as self-sabotage, and it can be hard when it comes to our productivity and our wellbeing. The good news is you can get out of your way and live a much better life.

Here are some things you may want to try:

1). Just do it. “First steps are always the hardest, but until they are taken, the notion of progress remains only a notion and not an achievement.” — Aberjhani

2. Remember your why. When you get to a place where you want to give up on yourself, always remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. Every now and then you have to reconnect with your purpose. If you find that you can’t connect the dots between the activity and the big picture, then stop doing it.

3. Confront any negative self-talk. Whenever you start doubting yourself, you are tempted to brush it off or shut down completely. That may work for a while, but eventually you will have to deal with that negative voice. The one that’s telling you that you aren’t good enough, you are going to fail, or you are a loser.

4. Acknowledge your strengths. Instead of focusing on the things you lack, spend more time focusing on the areas of your life that you are strong in. Again, this is where your journal comes into play.

5. Nothing Can Compare To You But You. There have been times when you have worked your butt off and didn’t get the recognition your colleague got. But, as Mark Twain once said, “Comparison is the death of joy.” When you compare yourself to others, it leads to low self-confidence and depression. It can also make you green with envy, deplete your motivation, and it won’t get you closer to your goals.

6. Make Sure You Run With The Right Crowd. We all have heard the saying, “You are the company you keep.” The people you choose to hang around with daily, are also your influencers. Whether you know it or not, they influence who you are and what you do. This is why it’s important for all of us to keep company with people who will both encourage you and hold you accountable, for the things you do or don’t do.

7. Don’t Give Yourself A Pass (Stop Making Excuses). It’s okay to forgive yourself for your mess ups, but you still must hold yourself accountable. Instead of making excuses, focus on what you can control so that you can make the right adjustments.

8. Remove Unnecessary Pressure. Life is hectic enough, so why make things worse by overcommitting or setting unrealistic expectations? Always be realistic about what you can accomplish. If you don’t have the availability or skillset, say that. If your calendar is already full, stop taking on new things; it’s alright to tell people no, you can’t do it.

9. Remove “Can’t” From Your Vocabulary. Removing this small, but powerful word from your vocabulary, is the perfect start to shifting your mindset. Stop saying you can’t do something and start saying you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Now don’t just say it, I need you to also believe it.

10. Stop Bringing Up The Past. When you keep repeating old thoughts, you block your mind from moving forward. As you know getting stuck in the past, will ensure you either repeat it or you stay where you are.

Contact Me:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/coachchelle




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Here’s how to make getting through hard times less difficult:

1. Stay Positive. “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is. The way you cope is what makes the difference.” – Virginia Satir When you stay positive, you’re putting yourself in the best position possible to not only make it through those bad times, but also to become a better person in the process. When life takes a turn for the worst, you can do one of two things: You can remain positive and remind yourself that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel and that you’ll make it through, or you can curl up in the fetal position and become a victim of circumstance. Now I’m not saying you will never have a bad day, or you won’t get a little discouraged, or shed a tear (or two). But I am saying you have to eventually pick up the pieces and start and/or keep moving forward.

2. Learn From the Difficult Times. “Facing difficulties is inevitable, learning from them is optional.” – John Maxwell Learn from what has happened, so you don’t make the same mistake twice. It’s easier getting through a difficult time when you know the chances of it happening again are slim to none.

3. Know What You’re Grateful For. Gratitude means showing appreciation for all the good in your life, instead of focusing on the negative. Get clear about what it is that you’re grateful for. Write out everything in your life you can think of that you’re grateful for having and/or experiencing. The difficult time you’re going through will start to seem less significant when it’s compared to everything that’s going right in your life.

4. Focus on What You Can Control, Not What You Can’t. Some situations are beyond your control and no matter what you do, you can’t change them. You’re setting yourself up for frustration when you focus your time and energy on things you can’t control. You’re also making the situation seem even worse than it actually is, because you’re focusing on the negatives. Instead focus on the things that are within your control because that’s the only way you can make a change that’s actually going to help you. Make a list of the things you can change and put all your focus on those things. Anything that’s not on the list, doesn’t get your attention.

5. Build Up Your Community. Having the right people around you is one of the most important things you can do for yourself when times get tough. You need loving people because a little love always makes the bad days seem a little brighter. You need caring people, because it helps to have someone who cares about your well-being as much as you do. You need honest people, who will look you in the eye and tell you truth. Their honesty may be that one piece of information, you need to get through the tough time. You need people that are available, for when you need to pick up the phone looking for some compassion and/or honesty.

6. Be Kind To Yourself. In order to survive tough times, you have to take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something that gets your mind and body engaged at a higher level than wallowing in self-pity.

7. Forgive. If someone else is at fault for the bad situation you find yourself in, the natural response is to harbor anger and/or resentment towards that person. What if you forgave that person? What if you accepted what happened, and you no longer held it against them? I’ll tell you what would happen, you would feel better, because now instead of focusing on the negative feelings you have toward that person, you can focus on moving forward. Or maybe the difficult time you’re going through is a direct result of something that you did. If you don’t or can’t forgive yourself, then you get caught up in a web of self-hatred and this definitely won’t help at all.

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The only person who travels with you through your entire life (outside of God) is you. It’s you (and God) from the cradle to the grave. Therefore, it’s important that you take time to really get to know who you are.

The three most important reasons for self-knowledge:

1). Self-love. If you know yourself the good, the bad, and the ugly, you can start to accept who you are exactly as you are. It may be a challenge to accept some aspects of our lives that we don’t perceive as positive, but we must accept them as we begin to make changes. You can deny the parts of your life you don’t like all you want to, but they won’t go away. In other words, love who you are until you get where you want to be.

2). Independence. Self-knowledge makes you independent of the opinions of other people. If you know what works for you, what is good for you and, what isn’t – it’s irrelevant what others might think of you. You are the expert of your own being. You oversee your thoughts, and you are your own personality. Independence and self-awareness are also linked to confidence. By knowing who you are and what you stand for in life, it can help to give you a strong sense of self-confidence.

3). Clear Decision Making. As we know, with knowledge comes insight and confidence and this can make the decision-making process much easier. There isn’t a lot of space for doubt once you have gained that full insight. We all speak two languages: the language of the heart and that of the head. If they are aligned, it’s easy to make decisions. But if they aren’t, your mood will decide what’s right or wrong.

Example: You are going on a date and the person you’re going out with, looks good, smells good and has all the qualities you are looking for in a man or woman. However, there is something about the person that doesn’t quite sit well with you. You aren’t sure what it is, but it doesn’t feel right. Something is telling you that he or she is either married or seeing someone else, but you have no real proof. Having two different dialogues makes it impossible to be clear. Today your head is ruling, and you want to see that person, but tomorrow your heart may be telling you not to go on that date. Now you must align your head and heart so that you get clarity, in order to support easy decision making.

Quote: It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. - Thomas Sowell

Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, loved, and supported! As you do that, go out there and be great, because great is calling you and great is calling me. Be blessed, have an amazing day on purpose, and we will talk again next week.

Contact Me:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/coachchelle


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Have you ever asked yourself why is it that we have a hard time letting go of people that have made it clear, they don’t want us? I think it has to do with the fact that we didn’t make the decision to leave them first. Let’s unpack this a little bit:


1. Remember It’s Not About You. When people choose to walk out of your life, it’s a choice they are making for some reason or other. They are looking out for their wellbeing and their happiness. When this happens, let them go, don’t ever try to hold onto someone that doesn’t want to be held onto. For what? Why do you want them to be unhappy? Why do you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? Peoples wants, desires, needs, and likes will change over time, and you must except that.

2. Some Relationships Are Toxic And Should Never Have Been. While you may love that person and they may love you, it’s mentally draining to one or both people and you don’t want to let go, because you are afraid of what people are going to say or think. Stop trying to keep toxic people around hoping they will change because chances are they won’t.

3. Change Happened. Change happens and it’s not always for the better. Either you changed or they changed, but
either way a change happened, and neither of you are the person you were when you first met.

4. Their Season Has Ended. Everybody comes into our life for a season or a reason. You mess up when you try to keep people in your life past their time. Seasonal people were never meant to be in your life for a lifetime and when you try to keep them longer, you end up making a mess of things. Remember that song from the movie Coolie High (It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday and I’ll take with me, the memories to be my sunshine after the rain).


5. There Is No More Trust. Once trust is broken, there is nothing else left to hold onto and chances are, either you are going to leave them, or they are going to leave you. People will often leave if you, if one has broken the others trust too many times and they are tired of forgiving you. This is why it’s so important to learn from your mistakes and then move on.

Let me leave you with this quote:
 
“There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So, don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.” ― Adam Lindsay Gordon

Go out there and be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, loved, and supported! As you do that, go out there and be great, because great is calling you and great is calling me. Be blessed, have an amazing day on purpose, and we will talk again next week.
 
Contact Me: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/coachchelle


























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We are responsible for the choices we make, so when our lives fall apart, we have to take responsibility for the part we play and not push the blame off on other people.

You took the wrong turn, you gave the wrong person your love, you put up with foolishness, you didn’t know when to say no, you turned down that opportunity, you cheated, you gave up on yourself. The list can go on and on, but you get where I am going. Here is how you can take responsibility for your life:

1. Stop The Blame Game. When you blame other people and other things, all you are doing is making yourself out to be the victim. Doing this makes it harder for you to change. Why because it’s always someone else’s fault and never yours; so why should you change? Example: When your ex breaks your heart, ask yourself what role did you play in the downfall? You saw all of the signs and yet you chose to ignore them, and you stayed.

2. Stop Complaining And Do Something About It. This goes without saying, if you aren’t going to fix the problem, then don’t complain about it. You should stop complaining because that issue you are dealing with, may be a blessing in disguise. Think of it as a blessing you didn’t know you needed.

3. Stop Waiting For Someone Else To Make You Happy. Your happiness is nobody else’s responsibility but yours. Waiting on someone to make you happy, may take a lifetime and even then, it’s not guaranteed.

4. Live In The Right Now. You can’t change the past and present isn’t promised to you, so focus only on what you can control right now. We all can learn from our past, so it’s ok to glance over your shoulder to see where you’ve come from or what you’ve been through, but don’t stay there too long. You are the gate keeper of your thoughts, yesterday, today, and always.

Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, loved, and supported! As you do that, go out there and be great, because great is calling you and great is calling me. Be blessed, have an amazing day on purpose, and we will talk again next week.

Contact Me:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/coachchelle


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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/michelle4466/message
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