Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience Kathy Kawalec

Join Kathy Kawalec in a heartfelt discussion on the importance of connection and creating a legacy of kindness and cooperation that will positively affect generations to come.  
In this episode of "Enlightened by Dogs," host Kathy Kawalec invites you to explore your legacy as a dog mom and to consider how you can make a positive impact on the world through your relationship with your dogs. 
 
As conscious dog moms, we have the opportunity and a responsibility to create a better world for us and our dogs, and that's exactly what Kathy explores in this episode.
 
Drawing on the wisdom of Marianne Williamson and her own experiences, Kathy emphasizes the importance of connection and self-discovery in creating a fulfilling and meaningful life with our dogs.
 
Kathy discusses the unique partnership between humans and dogs, and how this partnership can lead to mutual growth and connection when approached with empathy, compassion, and a willingness to listen to our dogs' honest communication. 
 
She encourages listeners to choose a legacy of kindness and cooperation over control and obedience, and to embrace the feminine wisdom that recognizes the importance of connection, trust, and feeling safe in our relationships with our dogs.
 
In this episode, listeners will learn:
 
The importance of connection and self-discovery in creating a fulfilling life with dogs.
The value of honest communication and reflection in our relationships with our dogs.
The power of choosing a legacy of kindness and cooperation in our relationships with our dogs.
 
Quotes:
 
"Connection is the energy that exists between two sentient beings when they feel seen, heard and valued."
 
"The gift of truth from our dogs is simple: we are on this journey together, and our hearts will lead the way toward a life of cooperation, connection, and love without condition."
 
"Interspecies cooperation does not come from training obedience, expecting compliance, controlling resources or transacting with rewards ... it comes from empathy, compassion, kindness, clarity, connection, feeling safe, and TRUST."
 

There are lots of things that can happen outside our home that can set our dogs off on a barking or reactive spiral that disrupts the peace. Landscapers, construction workers, things in the sky, oh my! The good news is that our dogs look to us for clues on how to behave, so when we are a solid role model, it can change everything!
 
In this episode, Kathy will share some real-life examples with her own dogs, where she was able to be a role model for her dogs and prevent reactive behavior from developing or escalating.
 
Because dogs easily mirror our behavior, that means that when we learn to be responsible for our own behavior, our dogs start to learn ‘how we do things’.  Kathy gives you three really clear examples that you use in your own life with your dogs.
 
In order for role modeling to work well with your own dogs, you'll need to start with some foundation principles. Take note of the four steps Kathy shares as your takeaway action steps to get started.




In this episode:
 
Kathy gives a few personal examples of how she acts as a role model for her dogs
Why we need to address our own behavior first
Why giving our dogs the freedom to choose to follow our lead is so powerful
4 steps to get started being a role model your dog loves to follow



Quotes:
 
“My dogs know to look to me for guidance on how we respond to this unique situation.”
 
“When we role model for our dogs, we’re literally communicating with our thoughts, our emotions, and with our actions: this is no concern of ours.”
 
“Dogs naturally mirror our behavior. That means that we need to be responsible for our behavior.”
 
“All good relationships and partnerships are based on trust. When our dogs trust us to be good role models, they will follow our lead.”
 

What is the best thing to do when your dog is “protecting” you in an unwanted way that is damaging to you physically and emotionally?
 
Today Kathy is sharing a segment from a coaching call in from her Brilliant Partners Academy to discuss this exact situation…
 
This dog mom has a retired service dog who is feeling anxious right now, due to an allergy flareup, a new puppy in the family, and stress all around. Lola (the dog) has lately started overprotecting her human mom when delivery people come to their door. She is pulling really, really hard and almost pulling Diane out of her wheelchair.
 
Kathy works through the details and talks her student through the difference between when a dog is protecting us because it's clearly unsafe and we appreciate their protection, and when a dog is dangerously taking on a protective role unnecessarily.
 
What do we do? Well, there's this balance between permissive and clear and kind. We can focus on finding a balance that brings freedom and responsibility together, in order to create positive and lasting change in our family.
 
In this episode:
 
Managing Lola's stress and anxiety, implementing self-care strategies, and supporting each individual in the family.


Strategies for preparation in advance of deliveries, using an emergency rescue as needed, while focusing on long-term solutions.


Understanding how to be a clear, kind & confident loving leader for your anxious dog who doesn’t know what to do about their emotions.
 
Quotes:
 
"It's easy to forget how hard it is to adjust to a new family configuration. Just like us, our dogs need time to adapt and recalibrate. It’s important to create a peaceful family dynamic during this time."
 
"Having strategies to maintain safety, calm and cooperation in advance will prevent explosive reactions from our dogs. It's important to be proactive and guide them in a calm, clear and positive way."
 
"Our dogs' behavior can often be a reflection of their physical and emotional state, so taking steps to help them feel better can lead to a happier and calmer home."
 
"Even though our dogs can't speak to us, they communicate their needs and feelings in other ways. It's important to listen and work together to find solutions that will help both us and our dogs."
 
“Being a loving leader for your dog requires clarity, kindness and love.”
 

In this episode Kathy talks about the importance of creating a deeper connection with our dogs as a way to avoid over-arousal. When dogs are keen about animals, she emphasizes that we should stay present, observe, and communicate with our dogs as we guide and support their development. 
 
Kathy is sharing a segment where she is coaching one of her students who has a young border collie who is showing keen interest in the sheep and horses on her farm. They work out how to best handle the situation right now, and how to prepare for future developments as her dog matures.
 
She also discusses the importance of adjusting our plan when things change and our dogs become keen to work or show signs of over-arousal. This means paying attention to subtle changes in behavior and body language that may indicate a shift in their mindset. 
 
By staying present, connected and responsive, you can help your dog feel supported and understood, which ultimately strengthens your bond and improves their ability to be cooperative.
 
Key takeaways:
 
Staying connected, being mindful and present is important in building a deeper connection and more cooperation with our dogs.
 
We should adjust our plan when our dogs become keen to work or show signs of over-arousal, and experiment with ways to manage daily routines in a way that keeps both us and our dogs from getting over-aroused.
 
Dogs need our guidance and role modeling to successfully live together with us in different environments.
 
Changes in a dog's behavior can signal their preferences or interests, so it's important to stay connected and pay attention to them.
 
Working a herding dog requires patience, consistency, and confidence, but it can also bring excitement and keenness that will level off with time, maturity and your guidance.
 
When a situation becomes too hard or over-arousing for the dog or the human, it's best to experiment and find new ways to stay together as partners without getting frustrated or angry. 



Memorable quotes:
 
“By approaching your interactions with your dog with mindfulness and intention, you can cultivate a deeper understanding and connection that will benefit both of you in the long run.”
 
“Noticing subtle changes in your dog’s behavior and body language that may indicate a shift in their mindset will help you to better support your dog before their behavior escalates into over-arousal.”
 
“Once your dog gets over-aroused or you get frustrated or angry, it’s simply not possible to think or learn or teach in that moment. Always do your best to get ahead of that with mindful consideration and planning.”
 
“When you stick with the plan, ultimately you’ll have a very keen, very confident dog who is also a really solid partner.”
 
“I need to be really present. I need to know what triggers me. I need to know myself and know when I need to change things in our routine so that it’s really easy for me to be present and able to best support my dogs at that time.”
 
“We are the hinge pin that makes everything work the way it’s supposed to, so it’s important to know ourselves well enough to plan ahead, before something ‘bad’ happens.”
 

Join us today as Kathy discusses the impact of reward-based obedience training on the relationship with our dogs. She explains how a transactional approach can damage trust and make cooperation difficult. 
 
The transactional dynamic of reward-based training can lead to power imbalances, erode trust, and cause stress and anxiety for dogs. On the other hand, building a partnership based on trust and love creates a natural and fluid dynamic where dogs are motivated to cooperate without being rewarded for performing specific behaviors.
 
Embrace a new way of living with your dog that prioritizes trust and love over obedience and rewards. 
 
In this episode:
 
The problems with reward-based obedience training and the transactional dynamic it creates.
The power imbalances that arise in a relationship that is focused on transactions.
The benefits of a partnership-based approach that is built on love, connection and trust.
The negative effects of compliance and obedience-based training include increased stress and anxiety levels, and decreased confidence and cooperation.
 
Quotable Moments:
 
"A reward-based transactional approach can erode the trust that forms the foundation of a positive relationship between a dog mom and her dog."
 
"Trust and mutual respect can reduce stress and anxiety levels in both the dog and the human."
 
"A partnership-based relationship allows the dog mom and their dog to work together as a team, rather than relying on traditional obedience training methods to encourage cooperation."
 
“We are culturally conditioned to believe that dogs aren’t capable of choosing to be loving, playful, well-behaved partners without being paid to be so. That is simply not true.”
 
~KATHY KAWALEC
 

In this episode, host Kathy Kawalec shares five tips on how you can deepen your love and connection with your dog. Through a story about a dog mom named Sarah and her dog who had a challenging past, listeners will learn how to implement the following tips in their own lives:
How to spend quality time with your dog in small ways that matter
Building trust with your dog by creating a safe and loving environment
How to approach your relationship with your dog as a partnership
Calming your dog's over-aroused behavior through cooperative activities
Strategies for celebrating love and connection, patience and understanding
 
Kathy shares how each of these tips helped Sarah deepen her connection with her dog, and provides practical advice for listeners to start incorporating these tips into their daily routines. This episode is a must-listen for any dog mom looking to improve their relationship with their dog.
 
Listen now and learn how to “unleash the love and deepen the connection” with your four-legged companion!
 
QUOTES:
 
"A true bond with our dogs is built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. It's a partnership that brings joy and happiness to both of our lives." - Kathy Kawalec
 
"When we approach our relationship with our dogs as a partnership, we're investing in their long-term well-being and happiness." - Kathy Kawalec
 
"Create a loving environment where your dog feels safe and confident. Your relationship will thrive." - Kathy Kawalec
 
LOVE TO LEARN MORE? 
Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type. 
 
Here are some next steps:
 
SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos
 
LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website:
https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/
 
GET STARTED work with Kathy:
https://dancinghearts.link/foundation
 
LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice:
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/
 
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