EP 40: Personality in Relationships

On this week’s episode of Relatable, navigating personality differences in relationships. Colter, Cayla and Lauren  We'll explore the concept of individuation—how our unique interests, temperaments, and ways of thinking shape our personalities and affect our interactions with our partners. We'll also discuss the tension between protection and personality, and how to recognize when we're defending ourselves versus embracing our differences.

Key Discussion Points:

What excites or intrigues us, may not be the same for our partner. In Colter’s vignette he talks about how Josh wanted to surprise Kara with a date night, but when he picked a fancier place that was buzzing with people drinking wine and ate Hors d'oeuvres, what he thought was going to be fun, was not received the same way by his partner. Can you recognize how differences with your partner can lead to disconnect or misinterpretations.

Connection: When it comes to a romantic or platonic relationship, understanding one another’s personality is huge when creating a connection. Whether it’s Big 5 personalities such as openness to experience, extroversion, etc. or qualities of a specific Enneagram #, we all bring different traits to a relationship. Can you recall a time where you wanted to connect with someone but there was something about our personalities that made it difficult? (i.e. I thought it was something that we would both enjoy, but only I did).

Differences in Relationships: Both Cayla and Lauren talked about how their current and previous partners had some pretty big differences in their relationships. Dance is a big part of Cayla’s life and her fiancé doesn’t enjoy it at all. When there are differences in a relationship, it can cause some grief (I wish they liked ____, I want them to enjoy doing _____, my partner doesn’t want to engage in this area of my life, etc.) Are there any areas/interests that you really need a partner to connect to?

The overall message of this episode is to understand and recognize that personality plays a big part in relationships. For example, if one person likes spontaneity and the other like organized, planned events are you more likely to accept these differences, or try to change your partner to feel similarly to you? Colter, Cayla and Lauren talk about how open and honest communication can help couples navigate differences effectively. By recognizing, respecting and embracing them, you can try and avoid reoccurring conflicts or differences that stem from these personality differences.