Episode 87 - Mastering the Mindset: Michael Sartain on Confidence and Attraction

Summary:

In this episode of Maxed Out Man, host Kevin Davis speaks with Michael Sartain, a performance coach and founder of the Men of Action program. Michael dives deep into what truly attracts women to men, debunking common myths about looks and wealth while exploring status, confidence, and behavioral cues that signal attraction. 

He shares insights from evolutionary psychology, explaining concepts like "mate choice copying" and "pre-selection." The discussion also highlights the importance of social proof, competence, and establishing boundaries in relationships. Michael’s program emphasizes self-improvement through leadership, social dynamics, and living with integrity, helping men build authentic connections and reach their full potential.

Key Takeaways:

1. Social Proof Matters: Women are drawn to men who are respected and admired by others; being seen with high-status individuals boosts perceived attractiveness.
2. Competence Over Wealth: Real attraction comes from confidence and capability, not just financial success.
3. Boundaries Are Key: Setting clear boundaries is essential in relationships; doing everything a partner wants can be perceived as weakness.
4. Integrity and Accountability: Living with honesty and purpose builds trust and confidence, which are fundamental to successful relationships.
5. Self-Improvement Through Action: Building attraction and influence requires ongoing self-improvement, showing up authentically, and embracing growth.

Here are the main strategies Michael Sartain recommends for attracting and building successful relationships:

1. Leverage Social Proof and Pre-Selection:
   • Surround yourself with high-status individuals and be seen in positive social contexts, as people (especially women) are naturally attracted to men respected by others. Displaying pre-selection—being around women who are interested in you—also boosts attractiveness.
2. Develop Competence and Confidence:
   • Rather than focusing solely on money or looks, men should work on personal skills and competencies. This includes charisma, humor, and the ability to navigate social situations, all of which signal high social value and self-assuredness.
3. Create and Maintain Boundaries:
   • In relationships, Michael emphasizes that doing everything a partner asks can be counterproductive, as it can signal a lack of backbone. Instead, maintain your values and boundaries to show strength and consistency.
4. Embrace Integrity and Accountability:
   • Be honest and purposeful in your actions. Integrity in words and behavior builds trust, while a commitment to self-improvement fosters authentic connections and makes you more attractive long-term.
5. Prioritize Action and Self-Improvement:
   • The “Men of Action” approach encourages continuous self-growth through setting and accomplishing personal goals. Michael’s philosophy highlights that the best way to improve social and relationship dynamics is through action, not just theory.

These strategies together create a foundation for building not just attraction but also meaningful, resilient relationships.

Learn More: https://www.moamentoring.com/ & The Michael Sartain Show podcast

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